[What's the deal with crossing the midline?]

So I had my 3 yo's ADOS done with a private person and not gotten results back. Simultaneously, I had her evaluated through the schools, and it turns out that they do an ADOS too (though I didn't know that before hand). But now I'm confused. Here are the results the school gave me: ADOS score of 2 -> not even a little autism, despite BASC-3 percentile scores of 1st %ile in Adaptability, 1st in social skills, 99th in withdrawal, 97th in atypicality, 94th in anxiety, and 89th in aggression. So they very nicely (and I really liked this team, so don't get me wrong!) told me that it stinks she has so many problems at home, but at least she did great for them on the ADOS!  I'm interested to hear if the private person got the same ADOS results or not (maybe it's wrong to think that maybe the school wasn't as good as the private person? Or maybe it's wrong to wonder if having two ADOS's administered in one week might have skewed the results on the second one? I'm not sure). But -- assuming the school is right, and the ADOS says no autism, despite the BASC flagging all those sort of "autistic traits," -- what do I do with this information?

[How do you make the decision to PS a kid with extra needs?]

Well, DH backtracked on sending her to school and is just strongly encouraging us to take a break and go for bike rides and hikes and spend time together outdoors and having fun. 

I need to figure out how to “take a break” in a way that’s meaningful to me while still having the structure that my kids need.

So I doubt we plop her into school this year (school by us is out in 7 weeks anyway), but I will keep thinking about and mulling over all of this as I think about what would be best for next year. 

Thank you all so much for all of your advice, encouragement, and wisdom.

[How do you make the decision to PS a kid with extra needs?]

8 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

So yeah, if he's collaborating and you're listing out options, that's really good. What things are going well with her? Like if you backed off on demands and worked on pairing, what would that look like? And who would take care of the other kids while you did it? Do you have a granny or a church member or someone?

I don’t know what pairing is?

i have a few friendS that step in when we really need it, but no family or anything that could step in more often. A few older church members have tried to offer us childcare for us to take a break or go in a date or something on occasion, but my kids are enough of a handful that they usually don’t offer to watch them again after that.

[How do you make the decision to PS a kid with extra needs?]

15 hours ago, texasmama said:

 We were very fortunate to have a therapist who  understood the role of sensory processing and retained reflexes and was willing to put the time into treating specifically that.  If the current OT does not treat these sensory issues, you may need a different one. Not sure what the OT worked on with your DD.  My son’s OT understood these principles better than I did. 

Mostly zones of reg stuff. Problem was that dd knew all the right answers to say, but can’t apply them. So they told me at this point, the balls in my court to make her implement the things she knows.

14 hours ago, Lecka said:

My kids including my son with autism are in public school.

The thing that gives me pause is sensory.  This can be hard if she just can’t fundamentally handle being around too much activity at her age.  

I think it can work but I think that if her sensory is a sensitivity (which it often is with anxiety) (my son was mostly under-reactive for sensory which is just fundamentally easier to deal with in a school setting).  

You can also put your other kids in school and focus on her!  Just to say it is an option.  

I have been really, really happy, overall, with my son in autism programs, though sometimes I have also been very, very frustrated.  

If she is anxious at school or anxious when she gets home from school, you are going to have to take time to deal with that.  It is just time-consuming.  You will need to coordinate with school etc etc etc.  

Thanks for this. It’s helpful.

9 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Ok, here's my two cents. My ds has an IEP, and reality is for her to enroll she needs to have evals through them and needs an IEP. You have two or three paths. 1) Make a formal written request to the school, get an IEP (120 days, boom done) and THEN decide whether to enroll her. Now is the time to start because they're going to kick and scream about the summer gig. Force their hand, hold to the 120 days, get it done. 2) Get private evals first to help you advocate during the IEP. If you do that, you're depending on your finances, insurance whatever to make evals happen and could have waits that could go much longer than the 120 days of the IEP process. So you'd want OT, SLP, and psych evals, and doing all that would be many months. I like private evals, but are you on waiting lists or have you had them? 

Path 3 is just throw her in now. Monday morning. Just walk her in. Now part of it will suck because my guess is the schools are about to go on a testing binge. On the other hand, they'll get a lot of data. And really, the last month or so the schools seem to have a lot of FUN! Seriously. Like around here they do bounce houses and field days and field trips and so much stuff. It's a pretty happy time. If your dh wants to just change the dynamic immediately, that's what you could do. Just walk her in, enroll her, boom. BUT WHEN YOU DO THAT also had them the formal written request stating you suspect disabilities and beginning the IEP process. They could say they want to observe her for a grading period. If you go in with evidence, that can help. They have the right to say they don't have evidence and want to observe her first since you're enrolling. If they do that, they may begin RTI if they see anything drastic.

There's a lot of good that can come with making a move, some kind of move. I will tell you though that the unfun position you're also in is that they aren't going to see you the way you see yourself, at least not initially. Like you know you're a hard-working, diligent mother. In our area, 60+% of kids live below the poverty level and some things are the norm that just make school officials pretty much think they're seeing that (neglect, etc.) everywhere. So honestly they were pretty snide with me and pulled the "we're professionals" crap, which got wearisome. And you won't actually know what will happen the first how many weeks, because she'll be in sort of a honeymoon phase with the novelty. But if they're trying to eval her when she's in that honeymoon phase, really that's not going to get you the best help. It's a known phenomenon. 

How dire is the situation? You're talking VT and didn't you have a VT thread? And did we have cautions about what you were doing, saying things didn't add up or something was amiss like retained reflexes? I can't remember. My first thought when I read your thread was just to stop schooling. Stop the VT, stop school work, stop everything. This has been a LONG HARD WINTER. Like it seems totally interminable. I would go on a cruise, take a vacation, just LEAVE, change the pace, change what you're doing.

No matter what, you have relationship, and if you drop demands and get back to relationship for a couple weeks, you can probably reclaim your peace. If you can't get back to a peaceful place even when you're NOT doing school work, you've got even bigger issues.

Now here's the thing. One, you don't know it's "dyslexia". It might be SLD Reading, but with the sensory issues you're describing and the extreme reactions maybe more should be on the table. Private evals are usually more objective than ps evals. Now is the team there ADOS-trained? You could flat-out ask. Some schools in our area now have ADOS-trained IEP teams, like the whole team, and they're doing a really stellar job identifying these disabilities. And some are humming and hawing and like well here's a GARS... Just a wide range of skill levels there. 

My ds has an IEP that reflects the broad range of his deficits. I can tell you that our ps would TRY and that they have quite a few tools to make the placement good. We had a point a year ago (literally, like 15 months ago) where things were really ugly and we walked right up to the line. I had a price from the autism school to finish out the school year and we were a go. Walking up to that line was GOOD for us. Being honest about what wasn't working was important. We prayed really hard and we had to get really honest. We found some answers that worked for him enough that we didn't do it. But would it have been bad? No, absolutely not. I wouldn't have been looking at it had it been bad. I could enroll him tomorrow and it wouldn't be bad. 

I think some schools are doing things you've read about and know need to be done and they're actually getting them done. I think people can be stretched thin. If you had to choose, would you rather homeschool her or the other three? If you had to CHOOSE, which way would you go? Which group (the 3 or the 1) would you do the most good for by having home? Which is the most likely to thrive in school? 

If you think you would do her the most good and the others could thrive in school, enroll the others. It's not a crime to do that. If you think she's beyond you doing by yourself while servicing the other three, then what are your paths? Like what are your brutal, this is what would really have to happen to make it work, paths? Around here I can pay $30 an hour (private pay) and get an intervention specialist. That will be someone who probably used to teach in the ps who now teaches privately. That person can come in your home and work with her from 9-1 and do her entirety of her school work. So she's home, she's working your worldview, your list that you generate with your worker, but way. I have one I'm talking with right now that I may hire and that's how I found her. 

I would not continue doing what you're doing. If she's that stressed, it's shutting down learning. It's ok to tomato stake, work on relationship, take a break, take a vacation, regroup, and figure it out. It's ok to put her in ps on Monday as a way to get that break. You just say hey I love you but I need a break and you'll probably have fun, here's your lunch pail. Think of it as summer camp in March and just use it as a break while you sort things out. 

Again, I'm sorry it's hard. How many more of your kids are going to be this hard? Advocating through the school system will be another kind of hard, but at least it's a manageable hard. It takes a lot of work to advocate for a strong IEP that addresses all the areas. It's not like a copout or doing less. 

Thanks foR the encouragement that any change we make might be a good one, and that we do have more options than I was previously considering. I’m honestly not sure who would tynhrive in school and who not. 

Part of my hesitation in trying to sort this school stuff out now is that we are likely moving out of state this summer, so anything I do now doesn’t really carry over to next year anyway. She’s by far my most difficult child, though, but st least two other kids do also need significant support, which makes me feel like a juggler who’s constantly dropping balls because people keep adding more balls to my rotation. Lol.

And we actually do know it’s dyslexia, from having an SLP administer the ELLA and looking at phonological processing and phonemic awareness. 

Weve completely stopped VT for now because it was such a struggle, but now we have the same level of struggle for reading! 😛 I haven’t checked RR in the last four months, but as of for months ago we had integrated all that weren’t previously.

8 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Sigh. One, novice therapist. Two, how long are the sessions? Three, is the OT actually making any demands? The behaviors aren't coming out because the length of the sessions aren't pushing her and the level of demands aren't maxing her out to require supports. In other words, the OT is keeping it comfortable. 

My ds can be really joyous to work with, but a professional with enough skill can intentionally take up that level of demand and BOOM bring out behaviors. She's probably pulling it back and not going there. It wouldn't even be smart for her to go there, because if she pushed it that far your dd would become non-compliant and not want to go back.

I like our OT. She has advanced training in sensory stuff. They went through the zones of regulation material. But there was definitely nothing challenging that she asked of dd. So dd spent the whole time smiling and laughing and joking and otherwise have the time of her life in squeezy swings and other stuff like that. 🙂

8 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Btw, you ran genetics on some of these kids, right? But no psych evals? That sensory stuff that is making her fly off the handle can calm with some things. OT, yes, sure. And interoception work, sure. But also ADHD meds can help anxiety and the sensory. Is she hyper-responsive or hypo-responsive? My dd's sensory is MUCH easier for her to manage on her ADHD meds. And her anxiety drops too, which you wouldn't have predicted just to read online. 

No genetics, yes evals. Dx: anxiety, depression, dyslexia. In two weeks she also has an ADOS scheduled.

6 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I think you can try school if that’s what’s needed and bring her home if it doesn’t work.  The other thing is, would it be worth just taking a massive break from school and start again fresh a bit earlier in summer?  Try to squish some natural or play based learning in.  I’m not normally one to advocate that but I know there’s no way I could handle three hours of tears for half hour of work.  If she’s that anxious the learning is likely to be ineffective anyway.  

Of course that depends if that’s likely to destabilise your other kids routine but at only seven it may not hurt to have a couple of months of just reading aloud and some play based math and a handful of documentaries.  My seven year old only does around an hour of really solid academic stuff daily.  He sits in for history and science and we do some read alouds and memory stuff but that’s it.

 

This was my husbands other idea. Just break from work and focus on building relationship up again, since it’s taken a real beating from so much conflict.

4 hours ago, Pen said:

I would try putting her in now (even though toward end of school year) and see how things are for everyone.  With that knowledge you can decide on next steps.

There’s no way to know without trying it.

It’s true. And I guess end of the year stuff gives us a short trial at least without committing to a full year.

[How do you make the decision to PS a kid with extra needs?]

2 minutes ago, texasmama said:

That would be my guess, as well. My ASD kid had extensive, long term OT (9 years), and when he missed a few weeks, he became emotionally dysregulated. That, in turn, impacted his overall functioning negatively in every area.  

Any suggestions on how to convince a therapist that she's sweet and well-behaved in their office, but a holy terror at home? lol. They somehow tend to think it's either an imaginary problem (because I like taking her to therapy several times a week and depriving my younger kids of their nap just for fun...) OR a behavioral problem that I've brought on myself by rewarding her outbursts....

[How do you make the decision to PS a kid with extra needs?]

4 minutes ago, texasmama said:

What is being done to address her anxiety and depression? Public school has the distinct possibility of increasing those for most kids with the diagnoses you describe. 

There are other school options between homeschooling full time and public school, and I would be exploring those in your shoes. It is okay to look at your family’s needs as a whole, not just your dd7.

However, the mood disorders will need to be addressed no matter the school setting. Anxiety is the reason we began our homeschooling journey, and it allowed for a supportive environment which worked well for my ASD son from 2nd grade to present. (He is 18 now.)

That is what I'm concerned about.

She is/was in therapy and OT for the anxiety and depression. But they felt like she was so much better that they released her from OT last month and her therapist only wanted to see her every month or two. I wonder if that decrease in supports led to the most recent month of panic attacks and not sleeping. 

[How do you make the decision to PS a kid with extra needs?]

I post a lot about dd7, I feel. She has a number of diagnoses (dyslexia, anxiety, depression, vision issues) and a number of things people sometimes ask about and/or suggest (bipolar, ASD, adhd, apraxia) that have not been evaluated yet. School with her is a nightmare. Every day involves crying, refusal to do her work (reading exercises, vision exercises, etc.). For every 30 minutes of work we get done, I think we spend 2ish hours crying and refusing to do it. She was in a full-on panic attack a few days ago, unable to stop scratching at my and her clothes while shaking. She's also back to waking up 3-4 times a night with panic attacks, so I feel like I have a newborn again, I'm so exhausted during the day!!

I'm at my wits end and my DH has suggested it may be in everyone's best interest to send her to PS next year. I spend so much time with her that I feel like I'm completely neglecting my other children. I feel exhausted after dealing with each meltdown. I think it's true that I could school my other three kids so much better dd7 went to PS. I also think that she *does* do better for others and would not have nearly the tantrums at school that she has for me. On the other hand, she has major sensory issues, is overwhelmed by people, and struggles socially and reading people and situations. (Summer camp last year left her crying for three hours straight but insisting she return each day and she already complains about not being able to make friends.) And she's very much 2E, so she's really bright and able to fly on a lot of people's radars, so I doubt her dyslexia gets remediated well at PS, because she *is* reading on grade level. But the idea of going to school puts her into even more of a panic and she becomes incoherent and unable to even talk about what she's feeling. DH is hopeful that sending her to school would give the rest of our family back our sanity. I'm fearful that it be the straw that puts her over the edge. 

 

I'm not sure what I need, honestly. Besides a clone (one for dd7 and one for the rest of my kids). 🙂
I don't know if I'm looking for permission, reassurance, or a sound cuff over the top of my head. I guess I'm just looking for some sort of input/thoughts.

[Gifted Kids who Always Argue (aka Little Lawyers): Can anyone relate?]

11 minutes ago, MissLemon said:

 

I think he just likes to bicker and argue because he can get the upper hand. I think he's only mildly interested in the information, but the "fun" of bickering and challenging the authority figure makes it more interesting to him. 

 In that case, I would definitely approach it the way that I mentioned above. My child like this responded relatively well to it, but I had to be very firm going into a situation, because the authority figures were usually flustered or unsure how to respond to questioning. So before we went pretty much anywhere, I would review what I expected from them with regards to doing what people tell them to, and how much conversation is appropriate,  And especially that bickering for the fun of it wouldn’t be tolerated (and we’d have to just leave if I felt like they were being disrespectful.) They still push boundaries sometimes, but they are smart enough to figure out that I mean it and that the consequence for them will be losing out on fun activities that they actually do want to participate in.They still push boundaries sometimes, but they are smart enough to figure out that I mean it and that the consequence for them will be losing out on fun activities that they actually do want to participate in.

[Gifted Kids who Always Argue (aka Little Lawyers): Can anyone relate?]

4 minutes ago, MissLemon said:

Yes, and he said "Well, I don't think I am annoying".  

Which makes me want to laugh and cry.  

He does the same with math.  I say "You got these two wrong, please look them over and correct them".  He says "Well, I thought I got them right" very matter of fact, like that should shut the whole discussion down.  I lost my cool and yelled at him. 😕

Ha ha! I have a kid like this!

The best the best defense I have found thus far  Is just to respond, equally matter-of-factly, “well, they are still wrong. Please correct them now” or “Well, it is annoying to everyone else, so you need to quit anyway.“  or whatever fits your particular situation. 🙂

[Gifted Kids who Always Argue (aka Little Lawyers): Can anyone relate?]

10 minutes ago, MissLemon said:

I have a gifted kid that constantly argues, bickers, and finds eensy exceptions to every rule, and frequently goes on tangents.  He challenges authority all the time and rubs all instructors/teachers the wrong way. 

 

I need some help? Reassurance? Book suggestions? about how to manage this.  What I really want is a kid that can sit down for a class, follow the instructions, asking *relevant questions* if he needs clarification.  It's not even that he can't see the forest for the trees. He can't see the forest because he's too busy asking for clarification about why we aren't at the beach instead, nevermind the fact that he doesn't even like the beach.

 

 

Just to be clear: you're certain he really needs clarification? Or does he just like to argue, bicker, challenge authority, and get the upper hand, since he probably *can* in most situations, because of his giftedness? In the absence of a diagnosis (since you said he'd been eval'd), I would just draw a line and say that he needs to stop asking annoying questions. Period. There's a time to ask questions and there's a time to be respectful of other people by keeping quiet. If he needs to know these things, write down his questions and bring them home where you can research them together. I don't know your situation, of course, but this sounds less about a kid really needing information, and more about a kid needing to understand what's appropriate and how actually do it.

[Recommend an edition of Principia Mathematica]

On 3/6/2019 at 6:10 AM, purpleowl said:

May I offer an alternative? If you can get your hands on this edition of Fibonacci's Liber Abaci, I think your DD would find it more readable than Newton. Fibonacci wrote it to convince people in Europe that it was worth switching from Roman numerals to Arabic numerals. The math in it is very accessible (it starts with how to count!), but it's interesting to read if you understand the context. I was able to find it at the library of the local community college.

Newton's Principia can be found as a free or very cheap ebook on Google Play Books or Amazon. I don't know about any simplified versions, but maybe someone else will!

 

Aw! I just had my math students read this in a class I’m teaching! The problems are so fun (on two men breaking bread is really interesting and unexpected) and it’s always fun to share how the Fibonacci sequence was actually really not the main thing he contributed to the field of mathematics! 🙂

 

PS. There are free online ones as well, I think.

[They said what? Good thing they're homeschooled!]

1 hour ago, daijobu said:

 

That might work as haiku!  😉

It was just so random. Here we are driving home from ballet rehearsal and she’s eating a snack while looking out the window, and out it came. And then more silence while I tried to think of an appropriate response. Lol.

[They said what? Good thing they're homeschooled!]

Dd7:  I often think that I'm not real. The world is just a giant head and I'm just a thought. "Wake up!" I shout.

[Am I too critical or is this bad for a 9 yo?]

2 hours ago, PeterPan said:

This is stellar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

And thanks. 🙂 It's still a fair bit of work for him to narrate something like that and actually use google to edit/correct the mistakes that come with voice typing and a slight articulation issue still, but I feel like taking away the physical barrier of writing has helped him exponentially to be able to express himself, and it's also really helped his confidence. A few months ago, he dictated (with google voice) a simple slide presentation in German even. It had far more mistakes, but he was SO, SO proud of himself. I think this thing was taped up on our window for a months straight! lol. (The actual presentation had a big picture on each side/page.)


10 Fragen über Roboter 

1. Genau was ist ein Roboter?
Antwort:  Ein Roboter ist eine Maschine die Arbeit für Menschen übernimmt. Ein Roboter ist nicht wie ein Staubsauger, weil er viele Jobs auf einmal tun kann. 

2. Ist mein ferngesteuertes Auto ein Roboter?
Antwort: Nein, ein Roboter kann Dinge ohne Hilfe der Menschen tun. Mein ferngesteuertes Auto kann nicht von alleine fahren. 

3. Was alles kann ein Roboter tun?
Antwort: Ein Roboter kann viele Dinge machen,  wie  Vulkanen zu erforschen und dein Essen kochen. 

4. Kann ein Roboter laufen, sprechen, oder Musik spielen?
Antwort: Ja, und vieles anderes.

5. Hat ein Roboter Gefühle?
 Antwort: Nein, es ist eine Maschine. 

6. Kann ein Roboter denken?
 Antwort: Nein, weil es vorher programmiert ist. 

7. Kann ein Roboter hören?
Antwort: Ja, ein Roboter kann hören, aber das kann mein Computer auch. Das ist warum ich das hier schreiben kann. 

8. Hat ein Roboter ein Gehirn? 
Antwort: Nein, es hat kein echtes Gehirn, aber eine kleine programmierte C.H.I.P. das lässt es Logik tun, was wie denken sehr aussieht. 

9. Kann ein Roboter essen und schlafen?
Antwort: Ein Roboter kann nicht essen aber manche Roboter wie  Aibo, der Roboter Hund, sehen aus als ob sie schlafen, wenn ihre Batterien lehr sind.

10. Gibt es Roboter Tiere?
 Antwort: Ja, wie Aibo der Roboterhund. Du hast eben über ihm gelesen. Es gibt auch Roboter Katzen und Roboter Insekten. Manchmal nutzt mann die Insekten für spionieren. 

[Am I too critical or is this bad for a 9 yo?]

2 hours ago, PeterPan said:

This is stellar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So was he narrating from his history reading or using a curriculum or...

 

He had just read most of the Horrible Histories book about Rome. 🙂

I was most pleased with his perseverance and his transition, "But even though..." He's never done something like that in his writing before!

[Am I too critical or is this bad for a 9 yo?]

2 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Yes, that's how it looks. You might try doing dictation or teaching him to type and see if the length, quality, or content of the narration change. 

Definitely way more than my ds with SLDs in reading/writing/math is writing, so don't feel so bad! 

 

Yes, we've started separating out the actual physical act of writing part. So just this week, the same kid "wrote" this using google docs and voice-typing, and even EDITED it himself. It took him right around an hour because he kept stopping and re-dictating things about 10 times before finally giving up and just typing that one problem word himself (he can't yet say /r/ well, so voice typing does have a few challenges for him still). None the less, I feel like this is pretty decent for one hour worth of "writing" :

 

((  ))'s fun facts about 
The Ancient Romans 

The Romans are fascinating people. For instance, can you imagine having to beat 100,000
Celts with only 10,000 Romans? How did the Romans do it? The Romans were very
organized in battle, while the Celts were not.  

The Romans became excellent shipbuilders and sailed all over the sea conquering islands. They
were excellent fighters and were soon the greatest Empire in the ancient times. Julius Caesar
helped expand its Empire but he was power-hungry and was soon murdered by his own followers. 

The Romans had Gladiators that fought together in an arena against lions, bears, and other
wild animals, and sometimes even each other.  The Romans liked to see blood so they made
it so that the gladiator who lost was killed by the other Gladiator .

But even though the Romans were cruel, they built many amazing structures.They built
aqueducts that would carry water through the cities to houses. They built huge public baths so
everybody could get clean and they also built huge sculptures of famous Romans .

Thanks for reading ((  ))'s fun facts about Romans. If you like this, then read more of ((  ))'s fun
facts about the  ancient worlds. See you next time! 
 

[Electrical engineering resources ?]

My ds9 got an arduino starter set recently and has been loving it. But it’s very parent intensive for me, because the guide is very much not written for children and often leaves him somewhat lost.

[What's the deal with crossing the midline?]

57 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

I'd be wondering if you have other options. People who really know the ADOS don't go by JUST the ADOS.

I’m still going to keep my appt at the diagnostic clinic but they haven’t even called me to *schedule* an appointment yet, so my hopes are not high that that will be very soon... 

[What's the deal with crossing the midline?]

Well, I think I'm glad to be keeping both appointments, to get input from different people... The private person who did our intake today was super nice and took lots of notes, but it was interesting to note that she flat out said that the ADOS is where it's at, so she'll do that, but she does not suspect it will turn anything up, and chances are that dd3 is just a moody toddler and dd7 is just anxious. But their ados scheduling is 6 weeks out, and then she said it's another 5 weeks out for results, so we have a while to wait anyway!

[Really Dumb Sh!t People Might Say To You if You Homeschool]

17 hours ago, Momto4inSoCal said:

"It must be so nice to homeschool, sleep in all day, stay in your pjs" 

To be fair, my kids ARE often in pajamas all day. They’re comfy!! On the flip side, my oldest has usually begun his academics by 6-615am...

[Really Dumb Sh!t People Might Say To You if You Homeschool]

My most annoying one to date is definitely this:

”You know, your kid probably wouldn’t be autistic if you had just put him in school and daycare, because then he would’ve learned those social skills early.”

[Really Dumb Sh!t People Might Say To You if You Homeschool]

1 hour ago, Gil said:

I don't know why other parents think that social skills are learned at school. It's at home that social skills are supposed to be learned exercised or used outside of the home.

This. I specifically don’t want my kids learning social skills from other kids WHO DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER ANYWAY!! Lol. 

[What's the deal with crossing the midline?]

4 hours ago, Lecka said:

Edit:  I don’t think at all they would value information from a teacher over a parent.  But I think a teacher is more likely to be blunt.  

I think this may be true of an actual teacher. But all we really have to go off of is a Sunday school teacher, which rotates week-to-week, so nobody would really have opportunity to know my girls well, and a dance teacher, where (a) kids are not given much time to interact because it's *extremely* structured (the main reasons we chose this school, because my dd7 completely crumbled in less structured lessons), (b) they only see her once (3yo) or twice (7yo) a week, and (c) there's some financial incentive to say, "Oh no! Your child is a darling! We don't have any problems at all!" Even when I'm being clear that I find no fault in the class itself and am just needing honest feedback regarding my child's development. 

[What's the deal with crossing the midline?]

58 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

Yeah, 3 hours is pretty brief. It's done, sure, and it may be so screaming obvious it won't matter. Some psychs will want to see a person over many sessions. I guess just roll with it. I think your plan to keep the intake appt seems reasonable, as you can still pull back if you have bad vibes. 

It would be interesting for you to find out what they actually do in that 3 hour eval. It might be like 1 hour intake, an ADOS (1 hour) and then an hour of follow-up. And they probably have a really thick  questionaire packet for you to do ahead of time. But for your purposes, especially with that 7 yo, you'd like full IQ, achievement, screening for SLDs and ADHD, and some advice on education, etc. So at this upcoming intake you could find out what he's offering. What tools will he be using to answer the autism question? I would ask upfront. And if he's going to give you IQ, achievement, screening for things, that can be really helpful to. Gives you a way to compare and think through what you need and what the different options will do.

I know that a normal psych can do ADHD, but do they also do IQ, achievement, and all these other screenings you're mentioning? I thought that we got sent to a neuropsych for this last time. But I really despise was not fond of either of the two pediatric neuropsychs we have in town when we saw them previously.  Thanks for this. It's always helpful for me to have a list of things to ask them, and I tend to have brain lapses right when I actually need my brain cells. 

ETA: The clinic says the following, but it seems pretty vague, so I'll definitely have to ask them more:  "child may undergo behavioral assessments, genetic testing, developmental observations, and speech evaluations"

[What's the deal with crossing the midline?]

Yes, I believe insurance will cover it... but I've never had issues with insurance covering stuff, so I don't really know. I don't know how good our children's hospital is, but I don't think it's mainly a teaching hospital. I think autism is also the specialty of the private person, but they're younger and don't have as much experience. I believe the clinic is a diagnostic team, but it doesn't list SLP and OT and all of that on the website, mainly psych, behaviorist, and geneticist. Maybe there are others there that just aren't listed?  It is a wham-bam-done sort of deal at the clinic: 3 hours of eval, and *then* the consult with the parent to discuss results, all in one fell swoop.  We also did not have great experiences with a neuropsych. 

I had no idea that hospitals have a wait list that long. Wow. That's crazy. The intake is for both the 7 yo and 3 yo, as is the referral. Thanks for your thoughts. I was thinking I'd keep the intake appointment, because meeting the person and being able to talk about things face to face is important to me in judging character and whether we're clicking and they're really listening to me and taking my concerns seriously. I just wasn't sure if insurance will cover both evals (though it will be a non-issue if the hospital wait list is 9 months, because we won't be waiting that long!) I'm more skeptical of a large clinic, but that's just me...