[Book rec needed re: ASD with a bright kid]

Thanks, guys!

[Math to follow Singapore 1B for 4 year old]

Adding the "Intensive Practice" books is not purposefully stalling him IMHO but going "deeper" in math rather than faster. Teaching a child how to tackle challenging problems is going to prepare him/her for success in STEM disciplines later on. My DS wants to be a biomedical engineer when he grows up and all the work he's done in Singapore IP, MEP, Beast Academy/Art of Problem Solving, and Elements of Mathematics has really helped build his problem-solving skills much more than if I had just allowed him to zip through an easy math program.

 

I agree with this. I've been surprised at how my oldest responded to CWP when I added it in. He has a tendency to rush that I didn't notice and makes a lot of careless mistakes that didn't occur when the problems had fewer steps and were more straight-forward. I'm glad for the opportunity to work on that now when the content is still straight-forward for him (he just finished 3B but is doing the level 2 CWP). It's very challenging for him to slow down and be thorough and actually write out multiple steps instead of trying to do 5 steps in his head (super easy when it was two or three, so why stop there, right?) lol. And it's also exposing his impatience with / inability to deal with being "wrong," and that's another thing I'm glad to work on now, even though I could be letting him go through the normal books faster. He does not respond well to correcting mistakes at all and wants to throw in the towel and start crying immediately whenever he gets something wrong... :P Silly smart kids.

[Kids and expensive hobbies]

How do you decide when / whether to allow a child to pursue an expensive hobby?

 

My 4 yo (almost 5) has been really into ballet for the last year. We've done all the inexpensive options, thinking that this phase will pass: things like community classes and ballet instructional videos and library books and youtube videos. But the phase has not passed and this "phase" is going on a year. She watches at least 30 minutes of instructional dvds each day and practices with them. She goes through ballet books, imitating and practicing every single pose. She spends at least 1-2 hours a day practicing at other times (generally just 5-10 minutes at a time, but *frequently*). I'm actually a bit stunned at how much time she spends on this, given that she's still only 4 years old. And she begs for more ballet class.

 

Intro ballet is expensive (not to mention if she continues with it to the more advanced level), and will squeeze an already tight budget. And I also recognize that lots of little girls want to be ballerinas, but few actually grow up to do it. But I also don't want to quash a passion for something.

 

ETA: We have four kids, and I'm nervous about starting something that will require running all over the place with one of them and neglecting others or not being able to give everyone the time/money they need to pursue their passions.

[Book rec needed re: ASD with a bright kid]

Our family counselor has suggested I do some reading on Asberger's / ASD because it would be helpful in parenting my oldest. Many of the books summaries I'm reading seem to focus more on the LD side of things, so I'm wondering if you all can suggest something good for me to read for an academically bright kid who does seem to have some ASD tendencies (obliviousness to social cues, insistence verging on obsessiveness that things are done one specific way, etc.) I know a number of folks here have 2E kiddos, so I just thought I'd ask. Thanks in advance!

[Introverted children]

Well I'm not sure how this thread got resurrected, but it's been good for me to come re-read some of this. Things have gotten much better in the last 5 months. We started seeing a family counselor, who has been really helpful, especially in understanding what is expected, what is appropriate, and what is really not. For the time, we've seen a lot of success restoring basic peace to the home with a combination of approaches: more clear and firm boundaries, more cuddle time / physical affection, having her learn to calm herself down (instead of us always having to comfort and calm), and really letting her have more control over certain situations (e.g., I won't her force her to go to dance class if she starts freaking out, but then she often changes her mind and joins in anyway, because... well, she LOVES dance class!) We've made it a point to have a more predictable schedule, and she gets at least 1 hour a day of quiet time by herself and then a little extra time of quiet time with me. And that seems to have helped as well.

 

School also ended in May, which may be part of why we're better, but I feel like things were improving even before that. Transitioning to homeschooling her is a bit of a disaster. She's bright, but deliberately mumbles into her hands when I ask her a question during our whopping five minutes of school (e.g., what sound does this make, and I point to a phonogram). She wiggles in her seat and sighs loudly how boring this is and whines, whines, whines. But that's another story and one we'll have to figure out eventually. :)

 

The counselor has said she's just a challenging child, and she's seen a lot of kids in her forty years of work! She's not really sure what's going on, and I'm not really looking for labels as much as coping strategies at this point, so I haven't pressed the issue. She's suggested ADHD and anxiety, very high intelligence, but also perhaps something else (and my family has a very extensive history of mental illness). I've been trying really hard to focus on her strengths, and figure out how to channel her efforts and quirks so that she can use them productively and effectively, instead of viewing them as "behavioral problems" or things I need to "fix." She's very sensitive, certainly, but she's also very perceptive at figuring out what causes others pain and surprisingly honest/perceptive sometimes.

 

Two examples that come to mind are

1) We went to the counselor and she was asked to do some small task and she did it right away. The counselor praised her and her face lit up with a huge smile. Then she said, "Yeah, I like to do what you say! I just don't like to listen to my mom."

2) Her 3 yo sister has a special lovey rabbit. Recently she started (completely out of the blue -- I can't trace this back to anything she's seen or heard from others!) telling little sister that she's gonna taker her rabbit and rip her ears off and throw her in the trash. And she says it smiling and then just keeps smiling while her sister starts bawling and screaming and freaking out. She won't *act* on it, and claims she's just joking, but she still does it. And when we made clear that was completely unacceptable, she started leaning in close and whispering it to her sister. She's not angry when she does it; it's like it's just a fun game. She says similar things to other siblings. She knows exactly where people are weakest and, for a reason I don't yet understand, likes to say things that hit right there and then watch the reaction. I don't think she's laughing at their pain, but I've no idea what she's thinking in that little brain! :)

 

We're still working out a lot of things. She doesn't really like playing on her own when it's "designated" alone time. She often is a spoil sport when I want to take the family somewhere fun (whining, complaining, refuses to participate). But we've been spending more time at a big park nearby with lots of hiking trails and that seems to help her as well bc there's noone else around, for the most part. But I don't feel like our entire family is at her mercy anymore, at least (intentional or not).

 

 

{hugs}

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The OP said: ". She's often in tears and getting her feelings hurt (that started at 6 months old, when we started telling her "NO" sternly and she'd start crying... With my other three kids, you could tell they cried out of defiance because they'd been denied what they wanted... This one cried because you'd hurt her feelings... :p) "

*********************

I'm glad you are looking into sensory issues. Also consider food intolerances. I have a child who did not react well to food dyes, and as a tiny 5th percentile weight 4yo, it didn't take much to cause a big reaction.

I say this very gently, but OP, it concerns me that you used the phrase "defiance" to describe a six month old. I DO believe in original sin etc. but I have been I situations where that was overemphasized and issues that were NOT mere selfishness or defiance were blamed on the depraved heart of man, and it resulted in ever-increasing attempts to punish or control the behaviors away.

I am encouraged to read that you DO notice a difference in the cries of your children. I just want to encourage you to continue to seek answers for this child in particular, and to be cautious if there are people around you advising that you be stricter or harsher, or not "coddle" the child or "give into her selfishness." You didn't say this was the case, but your use of that word concerned me enough to mention it.

 

You're right: I shouldn't have used the word "defiance." What I meant was that my other three kids cried when told "no", but it was a cry of frustration that they were being thwarted in whatever it was that they were trying to do. This girl cried not in frustration, but just out of sadness at being told "no", just because she was sad that we used the "stern" voice with her!

 

 

 

How many children do you have at home? Is the house normally pretty loud and noisy?  Does she tend to seek more quiet an peace around her when she is tired or hungry?  Is sounds like she could be a very young person who is trying to figure out how to control the stimulation around her to a level of comfort in the best why she knows how. She may be fine with groups and noise for a while, then feel the need for some quiet. She may not want to isolate herself in her room as it feels like punishment. 

 

Why does she need to attend a Kindergarten program if she is not enjoying it and thriving? Couldn't you do kindy at home and seek out playdates with friends? My dd did not thrive in kindergarden, which was how we started homeschooling in the first place. She is still quiet in general, but confident and more than willing to put herself out there and try new things. Some children don't need, crave or enjoy the crazy, loud kindergarden setting, but as they mature they can vocalize what kinds of settings they enjoy.  I'd challenge you to spend a few days in a kindergarden classroom and see how you enjoy the noise level. It would drive me insane.

 

Yes our house is loud and noisy! Kids are currently 7, 5 (her), 3, and 1. I had her in prek because she loved it! She begged me every day to go, even when I suggested keeping her home. It's just that she ended up crying more days than not, still... And then she'd cry if I kept her home the next day! There were only 10 kids total in the class, but it was still pretty loud! :)

[What standardized test would be most informative?]

If you can find someone to do a WRAT or PIAT, those are individual, adaptive tests and would give you the most information.

Otherwise, you could have her do the SCAT through Johns Hopkins (which is kind of an odd test) or wait until she's a little older and take the EXPLORE, which is normed as an out of level test down to 3rd grade (my DD took it as a young 8 yr old).

  

 

Dumb question- how do you find someone to administer the wrat or piat? How much do they usually run?

 

And is there any idea yet how this act aspire test compares to the explore? The website says it's what they're using to replace the explore, but will it be used to qualify for things like explore was?

 

I would skip the SCAT. It didn't give any useful info if your child just hit the ceiling anyway.

EKS recommended the ITBS if I didn't remember wrongly. You can take a higher level ITBS and get it norm for her age peers as well as the grade level test she took. So two norms for a test.

How do you go about requesting both norms?

[Nm]

Nm. Found my answers on old posts after all!! :)

[Project based homeschooling (book)]

Thanks! I think it may be a lot of trial and error initially. But that's how things are sometimes. :) I agree that the tone of the book seemed a bit too far on the artsy side, but my kids love art so probably wouldn't mind. :)

[Project based homeschooling (book)]

I read this book from the library and think it seems like it could be a fun thing to do with the kiddos.The whole point is "mentoring self-directed learners," so they're the ones choosing topics, forming goals, planning how to get there, etc. We do a lot of open ended stuff anyway, but I feel like the ideas in this book would give us a little more direction and help them to really learn to how to direct their own learning (right now, they express an interest, but it's really me who still does all the work). But I'm having a hard time understanding how it *actually* works, especially when kids are young (though they say that this sort of learning is best started between ages 2-4).

 

So my 7 yo wants to learn about machines and robots and my 5 yo wants to learn / learn about ballet. Can you give me some ideas of how I'd actually help them approach this? I felt like the book was pretty lean on specifics/details (perhaps by necessity since kids are all different and so their products are all different).

[What's the BEST use of naptime?]

I'm sure there is a lot of variation among different families on this one, but I'm just thinking and wondering. I have kiddos who really do well with 1-on-1 school time and I'm considering rearranging from "core topics" in the morning (when everyone is under foot and more is done independently) to afternoons when littles are napping (though it means giving up my little bit of alone time). Just procession "out loud" here and would like to hear from others! :)

 

I've got two that nap still (1 and 3) and two that don't (5 and 7).

 

ETA: I only have around an hour, so I can't really do more than one of the options with any regularity.

[Pokey when working independently, quick when with me]

Sometimes he can do a page while traveling to grandma's house which is about a 2 hour drive. I still praise him for whatever gets done hecause the tv is on. Oh, and he wears ear muffs. :)

It's true! He will fly through his work if he had it in the car! Ten minutes to the grocery store and he's done with math for the day. But an hour at home... Lol. He just lives in his own little world. :)

[Pokey when working independently, quick when with me]

I think it's easy to forget how young he really is. Sigh. Thanks :)

[Pokey when working independently, quick when with me]

I think it's easy to forget how young he really is. Sigh. Thanks :)

[Pokey when working independently, quick when with me]

So my 7 yo reads BA for fun and enjoys the work. When he works with me (even if I'm just pointing at the next problem and reading it aloud), he plows through it (several pages in 10-15 minutes). When left to his own devices (say while I'm busy with other kids, he sits there staring into space and barely makes it through half a page in an hour. I'm unsure what to do: limit time and just let it go (no real concerns about slow progress since he's already ahead), stay consistent and he just missed out on fun activities later when he's not finished yet, somehow find time to do all his work with him (not appealing with three younger kids), or something else.

 

Thoughts? I'm convinced it's not for lack of understanding or reading ability.

[Wigglebot - more ideas for "robotics" for early elem?]

Design Squad has a lot of neat project ideas like this Bristle Bot made from the head of an electric toothbrush and this alarm made from a recordable greeting card.

 

Wendy

 

Thanks! Those look fun too and just about exactly what I'm looking for. :)

[Homeschooling while fostering?]

I know you're encouraged to keep things as "stable" as possible for the foster kids, so I assumed we'd continue to provide them the same schooling as when they were placed (I know people that drive to a school all the way across town that they wouldn't otherwise even have kids in, just so the foster child can have more consistency). I just wondered how, if at all, it affects your homeschool (more than just another of your own children, maybe, and outside of the normal family challenges that come with fostering). Maybe what I'm saying doesn't make sense and I'm just looking to hear from others. :)

[How much "switching" is too much?]

My oldest currently does Singapore PM twice a week (only 1 exercise a day), BA twice a week, and then Singapore CWP once a week or so. Is that too much? Should I stick with just one at a time? Or is it ok? I hear a lot about folks hitting more than one grade level per school year in something like Singapore, but we're not really in a rush, so I'm not sure if I should mind that this plan has us going through one grade level in right around a full calendar year, but I'd like other thoughts. Thanks!

[Wigglebot - more ideas for "robotics" for early elem?]

Got this idea from a friend - it's really fun! I realize it's not really robotics. But it sure seems like it to my kiddos. :)

 

http://researchparent.com/homemade-wigglebot/

 

Anyone else have similarly fun ideas for young kiddos who'd like more of this?

[Homeschooling while fostering?]

My husband and I are considering fostering teen parents and their children (only one pair at a time), but would like to hear thoughts and experiences regarding fostering, in general, as well as fostering while homeschooling other children (this fall our kids will be 7, 5, 3, and 1), please! Not sure if this is the right board for this question, so please tell me if not! :)

[More "toy" ideas for kiddo super into building w/ legos]

Does anyone have experience with "educational" k'nex vs "normal" k'nex? We bought this set
https://www.amazon.com/KNEX-70-Model-Building-Set/dp/B00HROBJXY/ref=sr_1_3?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1468691254&sr=1-3&keywords=k%27nex

 

But it came and it just doesn't seem like very much (we thought the box would look... full. Like it does in the pic. The box is less than a quarter full, however....) so were considering getting a second set before his bday rolls around. I just wondered how this kind of building set compares to something like these:
http://www.educatorsoutlet.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=18
 

[Gymnastics equipment]

I have an almost 5 yo who is really into gymnastics, and would like to be able to encourage her at home. However, I'm not willing to cough up a ton of money right now, since I don't know if this phase will pass quickly, and we also don't have a lot of storage space. Most things I'm finding online seem like they are expensive *and* bulky, and so won't work for us. We have long cold winters, and relatively hot summers, so going to the playground year round isn't a great option for us.

 

I've considered a door-frame pull up bar for practicing bar stuff. I need to do some more research on this idea, of course, since I'm not sure they can withstand the back-and-forth motions while staying stable (since pull-ups usually don't have that kind of motion). I'm wondering if anyone has other suggestions for us?

[Bright but not brilliant]

I enjoy brag threads like a "Daily Dish" but I am definately more T than F on meyer briggs. I think I am in a house of Ts because we swing factual in any crisis. If you are more F than T, maybe less social media might help.

This is one of my single biggest struggles. I am way more F And recognize that more social media causes my significant anxiety over my own decisions, but find it so hard to actually let it go. It's helpful to be reminded of this from others, because I never associated F vs T as part of the struggle here.

[Bright but not brilliant]

Thanks so much for all the responses. As is so often the case for me on these boards, the question I actually asked wasn't really what I needed to talk about, but I rambled enough the you all were able to figure out what I needed hear anyway, and I appreciate that.

 

I feel constantly torn between a comfortable and laid back homeschool, on the one hand, and feeling like they have so much potential that I want to help them realize, but I think part of that may be rooted in my own lack of opportunities as a child and wanting to really support my kids in their passions so they don't feel the same frustrations I did.

[Bright but not brilliant]

Sorry if this is old hat for some of you, but I'm trying to find out just how folks handle and encourage and support their kiddos who are bright but not brilliant. I've seen threads about DYS (had to google it!) that seem like are way over our level (reading through the brag thread made me realize that my kids are *definitely NOT* all that brilliant!! lol. it was very humbling - in a good way). So what sort of opportunities, activities, and/or programs have folks found valuable / good for kids who are bright but nowhere near the DYS level, outside of every day homeschooling and living life together.

 

I guess I'm looking for

1) Information on good activities/programs you've liked or found helpful

2) Why you would choose to pursue these things

3) How you choose to pursue these things (I've no idea how I'd even start setting up a "test" for a kid or finding other young kids who are interested in math, since we definitely feel like the odd ones out at our co-op)

4) What place "competition" has in helping a kiddo find a group of like minded kids

 

Currently, we do nothing special. We just "do school" an hour or so a day. We go hiking and take normal swim lessons (not advanced) and work on character things like doing chores cheerfully. My oldest recently realized that the level on his BA books don't match his actual grade and had an awkward conversation with some friends about it (awkward for me, at any rate). We talked briefly afterwards about not making a big deal out of that with people outside our family and moved on. And for the most part, I'm content with the direction we're going.

 

I just wonder sometimes (and maybe it's the inner me that loved competitions when *I* was younger) -- should we take a test (wouldn't it be fun to see where they actually land compared to others?)? Should we let him do a spelling bee? Math kangaroo (if we organized a site)? Are there cool programs he could be a part of where he doesn't feel weird because he's the only 6 yo who reads BA for fun? How can I make the most of this time while he's young and set him up for success in the future while still letting him have fun and be a kid now? etc. And DH says it's not worth it and let kids be kids, but he never had fun doing competitions or programs as a kid. Right now, I err on the side of just playing around and not pushing too hard. I just wonder sometimes what I or the kids may be missing.

 

[If a kiddo reads BA guides for free reading...]

Thanks, All! He's a pretty mathy kid and seems to get most of it (though some of the longer words come out jumbled when he wants to talk to me about something - I think he's not reading the entire word carefully when it's something like quadrilateral). They often have a basic enough review in the practice books that I just see if he's got questions about that and then review the guide if so, so maybe I'll just keep that as the basic model and let him read at his own pace otherwise.