I'm the kinda girl who likes to have things in sets... :) Do you all know of any place to get the whole horrible histories set, since they said they're pretty much done making them? Only options I'm seeing are one 20 book set and then individual books.

Nevermind. I'm deleting this post because I wrote it in frustration and should've just taken the morning off to breathe and enjoy my kids. (Not frustration with anyone here - just with myself and my child.) So I don't think that kind of negativity is helpful here. :)

This was good food for thought, bc I've been VERY hesitant to pursue any evals in the past and VERY reserved when it came to labels, diagnoses, etc. (Flat out told her I didn't want any of that several years ago...)

I should've clarified that for the last 2ish years, we've been seeing the psych with one of my other children. So she's seen us as a *family* for that long, and she still talks with us about the other kids when we bring up issues, but the focus has been on a different child in recent years.

Yes!! This is exactly how I've been feeling! It's such a relief to hear it come from someone else. Ok. I guess we're gonna do this then! My husband sees things much more simply than I do: An eval can only help. It's up to us to decide what to do with the results, but more options can only be a good thing. And we work our way out by starting with resources (like the psych) we already have. I wish sometimes I saw things as simply as he does. :) Thank you all so much!

I don't know how many gifted kids she's seen (I haven't had opportunity to hear her comment on test results, since we've never done testing before), but she has made it no secret that she knows my kids are incredibly bright (and that's a contributing factor to the issues that originally started us in seeing her).

So I talked with our psychologist (who we've been with as a family four 3-4 years already), and she says she does autism evals all the time, so there's no reason we'd need to see someone who specializes in ASD for an eval. Part of me really likes this idea, because she knows us well, and there's the whole issue I mentioned above of him being able to function relatively well much of the time (so I feel like having someone who's had time to see his ups *and* his downs is valuable, especially since we don't have school teachers involved who can give this kind of feedback from outside the family). But I confess that I'm still a littler nervous, because it's not her specialty. Is that a real reason to be concerned, or am I overthinking things? How much of getting a good eval comes from it being your specialty (vs. having worked as a child psychologist for 40+ years and all the experience that comes with that)? I confess that I have no idea what an evaluation looks like. Do we just answer a bunch of questionnaires? We took the AQ test online (I know it's not a real diagnostic tool or anything), and he scored relatively high on it (36), but the answers my husband and I felt most accurately reflected him weren't always the answers he thought reflected himself (e.g., he says he'd always rather be with people than by himself, but I know for a fact that that really depends on if others are playing the "right" way or not...) I don't know why I feel so nervous about this all. Just fear of the unknown, I guess. Are there any particular things I should be aware of or think to ask or discuss? As they relate to ASD in general or as they relate to ASD + very intelligent or anything else? Psych made sure to point out that we'd just have to start with some testing, bc though she's said she suspects he's on the spectrum, you just can't really know until you dig a bit deeper. I'm not sure why she said that, since it seems obvious, so maybe I just missed her real point in saying it! :) I think I've started to stress out about being able to justify why we're having him evaluated and I've started making mental lists of (instances where we melt down over minor things and just can't recover) and (instances where we've really struggled socially) and so on, and I don't know if that's just me stressing out or if those sorts of examples are actually helpful in anyway (does it just stress me out more thinking of all the asd tendencies he seems to have, regardless of the fact that the eval may show he's not autistic at all?). I feel like this is consuming my thoughts, and I really appreciate all the time and patience you all have shown me in answering questions from a newbie that you've probably answered for others a million times already. :) So Thank you!

Thanks, guys. I'd asked on a different forum a while back, and gotten so much advice about not labelling him or making excuses for his behavior, still holding him to a higher standard and not accepting "less than," that I've really been struggling. I recognize that I have an unhealthy fear of any diagnosis, even appropriate ones. But I've also been so saddened by things that happen, especially as he gets older and more and more of his social interactions happen without direct supervision on my part. I used to be able to intervene directly and help through a lot of situations, but now it's harder and harder, and the rules he's needing to learn are more nuanced and difficult for me to verbalize. Making a guideline like "Personal space is one arms length away from family members, and two arms length away from others" was relatively straight forward when he didn't pick up on personal space issues himself. Trying to help him understand some of the less obvious ways of interacting and why kids treat him the way they do is more difficult, and enough to break my heart sometimes when he comes to me crying and asking why so-and-so did such-and-such and he just sees stuff so simply he can't make much sense of my answers. If he asks a friend if there's a problem, and they say no but then treat him like there's a problem, he really doesn't get it. And then there's just the issues with talking about the same think just about all day, every day, and the complete melt-downs we have when things don't go according to *his* plans (despite years of trying to teach him to think more flexibly and go with the flow a little better). And my friends tell me I'm crazy and seeing things and how he's mostly normal, but I feel like "mostly normal" isn't cutting it when he's upset all the time and they don't understand how hard we already work on all these little things to make them easier. It'd be one thing if we weren't already giving it pretty much all we have, but to feel like we've done everything we can for the last three years, and things only seem to be getting worse makes me wonder if we shouldn't pursue a diagnosis and appropriate therapies that we've foregone so far. I think I'm rambling and not making a lot of sense. :) Oh well!

Yes, this is definitely an issue for us, because he rarely has issues when others are around. We've drilled him enough on what sort of behavior we expect - especially around others! - and he's bright enough to catch most of that, so for the most part anyone I discuss the issue with just looks at me crazy-like when I try to talk about it. But then I go to the therapist and talk with her about it (we started going for unrelated reasons, but she sees the whole family), and she's really the only person besides my husband or I to chime in and say, "Yeah, this isn't really normal, here." When he's in Sunday School class or when people come over to the house, he's *generally* more reserved and only occasionally does weird things. I would guess that he's only barely on the spectrum, because he can function pretty well, but I just don't know much about this. And he's very honest that he doesn't act "normal" (HIS version of normal, though) when others are around because he's shy. So it's mostly lucky old me that gets to deal with melt-downs and tears over his inability to make and keep friends and hearing about the same thing for hours and hours each day... lol. :)

I keep reading posts regarding diagnosing autism where people recommend (based on the relevant thread) folks find someone experienced with autism and 2e, or autism in girls, but it makes me wonder how you even start looking for someone like that. Won't everyone say they know what it looks like in those cases just to get your business? What do you do if you don't know anyone else in real life who's gone through this before who you can ask for local recommendations? Our family therapist (cognitive behavior therapist is her actual title I think) has been seeing us for four years and says my oldest is an aspie, even though that's not a formal diagnosis anymore. She says it's totally up to us if we want a formal diagnosis and gave us some reading material while we think about it. I've read a lot about autism looking different in very smart kids, and don't know if we'd need to see someone different who specializes in that then, or if it's better to stick with her bc she already knows us so well and has seen us so much. We're really on the fence about getting a diagnosis. We want him to get whatever help he needs but are concerned about stigmas and labels. He's 7. In case it's not clear: we're very new to the field and learning what we can but most likely very unknowledgeable still.

You're right. They only need a diagnosis for insurance to cover it. So I'll check out the cost to self-pay for just an eval and go from there. Thanks! I would never have thought of that on my own. :)

So our family therapist who we've seen for the last 3-4 years has said it's quite likely our oldest is on the autism spectrum (bright, but lots of social issues, fixations, and complete chaos if we deviate from the routine). For now, since we homeschool, noone involved (us, her, our normal ped) is inclined to go for a diagnosis. But she did encourage us to get evaluated for sensory processing issues from an OT. Thank you very much. Well, I found one and called them, and was told that sensory processing issues are not considered their own thing (yet, though the medical community will hopefully get their act together) and in the meantime, in order to do an evaluation, it would need to be under some other diagnosis (autism, adhd, fine motor delays, etc.) Does anyone have experience with this? I feel a bit overwhelmed with information and unsure of what to do. I should add that he definitely has some issues with clothes (wanting "soft" ones), food (lots of issues gagging, even when he's not complaining about food), and being distracted (art on the wall, for instance - I've walked into the room and found him hunched over his work with his hands shielding his eyes, and asked him about it to get the explanation that the pictures on the walls were just too distracting for him to focus on what he was doing).

In addition to the 1 and 3 yos, I have a K'er and a 2nd grader. I don't do very much school work with them, but I'm finding this phase much more challenging to navigate than when I had only one in school and everyone else just napped: we just did our 30-45 min school during naptime. But now my K'er is wanting to learn to read, and my 2nd grader generally does ~60-90 min of school a day, and I can't squeeze it all into naptime, and I'm just struggling to make any sense out of our day or come up with a coherent routine/schedule. Having two "doing" school but needing constant help while two others run amok is just not easy for me. I've made a variety of quiet / alone activities for the younger two kids, but they still can't spend much more than 30 min alone still (not safely, at least!! lol), and my oldest has some sensory issues and is super easily distracted when there's anything else going on nearby. I think I'm just venting now. Sigh. I think I just thought that things were going to get easier as my baby got a little bit older, and that was probably the epitome of foolishness, huh? Thanks for your suggestions! I'll think some more on them and try to come up with another plan!

I have issues coming up with a way to sync schedules with my kids. Kids wake up at different times each day (and they really do just need different amounts of sleep, so I'm hesitant to force them all awake at the same time). So we do chores before breakfast, but half my kids work quickly, eat quickly, and are dressed and ready to go in 20 minutes. The other half work slowly, eat slowly, and are often not dressed for an hour or more. I'd really like to start the morning off with some "together" time by taking a walk outside, reading, etc. before younger ones start playing and olders do school work, but I can't seem to make it work because the slow kids complain about being left out if we start anything without them, and I don't mind using that as leverage when they're being very poky, but often they're not being pokey so much as just being thorough (even at eating, they just chew more thoroughly, it's not like they spend their time at the table playing). I just feel like when one kid is ready to read, I or others are not, and when one kid is ready for school, others are ready to go outside, and my day feels like a whole lot of juggling. I know *I* am the mom, and *I* am in charge, but I don't know what to do when some of my kids are so much faster at some things than others and how to make things go more smoothly during the day. Maybe this is a dumb question, and I'm sorry if it is. I can't find a good time to do read alouds or crafts or go outside or pretty much anything else that involves us all doing the same thing at the same time, and it's just getting to me, because it's mostly the fun things that I can't make happen. Thanks! ETA I do have a 1 and 3 yo who run amok and want attention all the time and do no school work at all. :)

So my oldest used to do this, but he did it with completely random words too - like: he'd happen to see a word by itself, with no contextual sentence and no picture (think: someone else at co-op had a flashcard or something), and he "reads" aloud a synonym or would say it in a different language (we're a bilingual household). It was one of the strangest things I think my kids have done. My second child still does is sometimes (just turned 5 yo) but is not reading well, so I don't even know how she gets from point A to point C. I mentioned it to a few friends when it first happened with my oldest and they looked at me like I was crazy and assumed there was some context that I just wasn't picking up on. But there really wasn't and it happened often enough that I'm convinced that it was no accident and I really wasn't just missing something. After a while of me pointing it out (just pointing to the word again until they said it correctly), the oldest started reading with a bit more care, even if he still tends to rush.

Thanks so much for all your thoughts! It's really interesting to me to consider, even if I do tend to have "better late than early" leanings! We potty train earlier than most people we know, and get a LOT of flak for it bc folks assume I'm pushing a kid before they're "ready." I see certain similarities in the two conversations, even if there are also marked differences as well. :)

Thing is- I'm not asking about particularly bright kids. I'm asking bc I saw this topic discussed a long time ago, and I recall a few posts from parents who taught all their kids and even extended family kids to read by age two. It was so far back, I can't find the old thread anymore, and maybe those folks don't frequent these boards anymore? I'm not sure, but I always like hearing how folks do things differently! :)

Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying I think that either! But I'd like to hear more, because many years ago when I first started visiting the forum, I know for a fact I read some threads where folks talked about how they'd taught numerous 2 yo's to read and they believed than any child could learn it if you only... And then I don't remember the details. So I was hoping to be reminded of what the details were. And I know that those folks came under a lot of fire in the threads from other folks whose kids read much later, despite lots of work on it, and I'm hoping the same fire doesn't rain down on this thread. But we'll see, I guess! :)

I'm just curious, bc I hear a lot about "reading readiness" and waiting until the kiddo is "ready", and then I hear folks talk about teaching their 2/3 year olds (moderately bright or average intelligence, not super bright who self teach) to read because it's just a "skill." I feel like I've heard a lot from the "reading readiness" camp, and so I'd like to hear from the "any 2/3 yo can be taught to read" camp. How have you done it? With multiple children? How long did it take? Disclaimer: My third kiddo just turned 3 and I'm *not* in a rush to get her reading. I've just noticed that, despite paying attention to older sibs' school work, no amount of practicing blending "c.......at" "c.....at" "c..at" gets her to "cat". And it's really just made me curious how folks actually teach a kid that young to read. :) I'm not concerned about my child or wishing things were different or even looking for advice. I'm also not really wondering about kids who taught themselves to read. I'm honestly just curious to hear from the minority of folks who don't really follow the mindset that reading is *primarily* a skill you learn when you're "ready" and is instead a skill that can be taught to very young children.

Bump?

Somebody tell me what I can do with my kiddo who's obsessed with Battlebots! He's been building his own our of legos, k'nex, and our spielgaben pieces. He just turned 7 and is getting a snap circuits for his bday. Has anybody gone "further" with a battlebots lover?

I agree with this, but it's so hard to be honest!! When I'm honest, I admit that most of my "guilt" over not doing "more" stems from wanting to keep up with so and so or wanting myself to look good because my kids are so advanced. Sad reasons to make a child miss a beautiful morning outside or even a long anticipated battle bot fight he created with k'nex. :)

I'm interested in hearing more on this when you can type more. :)

Thanks for all the advice and opinions! It's helpful to hear from folks who've been there, done that. :)

Thanks, guys!