Sometimes failing is a lesson too. If she doesn't get the wash clothes done she has to deal with the consequences of not earning any money and disappointing a family friend. I knit and I do so understand the joy of knitting for yourself vs knitting something someone requests. I would not say anything more about that if I were you, but that is just me. I have a child who hated math for a long time because of an LD and we took a year and just did LoF until she liked it again. Then I added back a more traditional math curriculum, but we still have Fred on Fridays. If there is no way to approach it in terms of finding a way for her to like math, and after all not everyone does, I think rewarding her (OK, bribing her lol) would be fine. But then you have to be able to deal with her choosing not to do it and not getting the reward (or accepting the consequence if you go that route) kwim? Sometimes as parents I think we forget that kids do have choices. It would be nice, when it comes to things like math lol, if they didn't, but they really do. They can refuse, as your husband did, if they are prepared to accept the consequences, whatever they might be. And there are kids, and adults too for that matter, who care enough about feeling like they are in control of their own lives to take some pretty harsh consequences.