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  1. Yes. My childhood was full of visiting with neighbors, and spending lots of times at friends home. I guess nostalgia plays a part in this sadness. I guess I understand that through many years, and technological advances etc that things will look different now. maybe we are all just sick of each other's Facebook posts, and don't want to hang out!
  2. Just looking for a supportive forum to vent frustration in the area of forming lasting friendships as a homeschooling family. I have read quite a few posts regarding the problem of making friends for homeschool kids and families. There is comfort knowing you aren't the only one, but it's getting so tiresome. The work was put in years ago. Groups, activities, blah blah whatever. There were some friends sprinkled in, but they faze out. Not because of our lack of interest...oh no, never. We always try. Maybe too hard? But I'm sensitive to that actually...and if I don't have the vibe that you want to be friends too...I quite trying. Maybe it's one of my kids? I don't have the energy to post all their detailed personality types, but they are generally, cool sweet kids. Not super loud, or savvy socially, but nice, funny kids. The other thing I'm struggling with deeply right now, is being a Christian, and having a thicker skin in regards to this type of thing. I know people fail, and we are called to put our trust in Christ, not man. My mind knows this truth, but I'm torn up about the hot and cold attitude of fellow Christians. Varied examples: the mom friend at church who now barely speaks to me? My mind starts going...did someone say something about me? Gossip? What...I've been nothing but nice! The mom at my kids tap lessons whose girls were super friendly with my daughter, and now she's cold to me, and her daughter is now too ( do moms actually tell their kid to stop conveying friendliness and love to other kids!!) These things weigh on me. I want to brush it all off, but it happens. Is this jealousy over things? I don't know. I wish things were easy in regards to friendship. Like they were for me as a kid in the 80's growing up near big city Portland. Always had lots of friends growing up, that spanned decades. but as a homeschooling Christian mom? ?? Forget it. Has anyone found any books to help overcome these disappointments in life? I read ' uninvited'. I liked it..looking for more wisdom. Thx!
  3. Thank you. It's so helpful to hear your personal experiences. Admittedly, I'm slightly intimidated by the amout of effort I will need to give, while teaching two other children, but the benefits might outnumber the drawbacks.
  4. Can someone share their thoughts on it? Considering it for my youngest who is 4.
  5. Umm, ok. Here you are agreeing with me about 'lack of social skills' Boom.
  6. A few more thoughts~ I think that as a culture we highly praise the individual, at all costs. Someone says- I'm shy, so don't expect much from me, I'm going to protect my introverted self, and not bother with those pesky social graces we teach our kids ( or do we??). I know I would advise, and steer my quieter daughter to extend kindness, and show warmth to others, because that is how she would want to be treated
  7. That last post was explaining my small rant included in my OP regarding introversion. To clarify my other thoughts- I was confused why someone would act very friendly towards me AFTER I was viewed as being " liked" and accepted by others in a group. I am annoyed with this woman because I didn't receive and warmth or interest from her, even after seeing her a handful of times, until I was validated by other people. Hope this makes sense...getting late :/. I do see a lot of good advice here. I do tend toward cynicism
  8. Thank you everyone for all your insights here. I am aware of what typically constitutes an introvert- lots of alone time, recharging, shy, etc. I am very friendly, and I enjoy chatting, but I also can relate to the need to withdraw...be alone, and relax. Socializing is tiring. What I don't appreciate is women labeling themselves an introvert to excuse themselves out of being polite, kind...and civil to others. I might not know someone well, but I can smile, say hello. I'm a grown woman...I can get over myself for a minute and speak kindly and extend some friendliness to someone else even if I'm" shy" or whatever. If you are a self proclaimed introvert, and you visited a church for the first time, and no one chatted you up, smiled your way, greeted you....most people would assume it was an unfriendly church....don't think many would say- " oh their great...just a bunch of introverts!" Just some thoughts. Some awesome Christian writers who I respect would say that being shy as an adult is a form of pride and selfishness. I don't think I'm in full agreement of that, but i can see truths there.
  9. I'm wanting to share an experience I had months ago. It has gotten under my skin. There is this homeschool Mom who I would see around. I first met her at a book club, and then I ran into her at our local gym class for homeschoolers. I would chat her up. Cuz I'm friendly like that. And I could sense her lack of warmth, short responses...barely made eye contact. Ok, I guess this is what people refer to as an introvert, but sometimes I honestly feel that is a nice term given to rude behavior. Btw- I'm not at all a weirdo...I just made some friendly small talk, etc. I wasn't smothering her. Then, I actually saw her at a mutual friends get together ( small town) she didn't make eye contact...I just got the impression she was trying hard not to say hello. Ok, that hurts! Then. Here is the real issue- she is also a part of the same small homeschool group, and when I saw her there. She was aloof as usual, but the kicker is this. I am friendly and liked by the other Moms, and as soon as she saw that I was accepted by them..her whole attitude changed like magic! Big smiles, she even put her hand on my shoulder!! Lots more convo now!! Geesh...so she had to witness me being validated by other women to actually treat me kindly,! What is that " oh, now that these other moms deem you acceptable...I will too". I feel so bad by that.. I see this in the homeschool world, everything is just a popularity game, and who you know :(. Thanks for letting me rant
  10. This was really like my childhood. We ran around all the time in my neighborhood. At age 5, and 6 even. There were lots of older kids around, and my older brother was somewhat in the mix looking out for me, but still it was pretty much independent roaming. I look back and get nostalgic about this kind of life, but yet I cannot fathom it for my kids! I feel strongly about how kids need to have independent free play, and not be hovered over. Yet, I can't seem to feel the need to be near them and want to protect them from all kinds of crap.
  11. Thank you. We have done these things though...to a burnt out level. I think my kids just don't find kids that are interested in them. I think my girls are quieter...more reserved, especially now. More guarded because they have been " burned" by other kids..nothing outright awful...just the subtle I'm done speaking to you variety. Of course that still hurts
  12. That is funny! It always seems to work this way for us. One friend had a sweet daughter that my girl enjoyed, and then her son declared that she didn't like my son anymore...and lo and behold, she stopped hanging out with us!? Geesh.
  13. Thank you for all this great advise and empathy! I do have a nagging feeling that my eldest kid is trying a little hard, and kids are picking up on it. How to go about talking to her about this I don't know? How do I not make her feel bad? She probably senses/knows that I am sad when I see kids withdrawal from her..so already she's learned how much I value this! I hate that! I wish I would be more upbeat about it. Hey if no one wants to be friendly that's okay! Just love The Lord- I need to love this more for my kids :(. I don't want them to turn into insecure people pleasers.
  14. Thanks everyone! My main heartache about it is that we have tried little groups here and there over the years. My kids might start feeling accepted, and then something happens. One of the little girls stops talking to my eldest ( 9 yrs) and the whole dynamic changes. Why the crap did she do that? I have no clue? Do I talk to the Mom?? I don't feel totally comfortable about it because we are still fairly new! Kids are fickle, but I feel like my kids love their little new friends they make, and often that affection is not reciprocated. I try to look at it openly...are my kids doing Something? Maybe trying too hard?
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