Just about all of my mom friends in my homeschooling world are stay-at-home moms. But none of us would be if our kids were in school (or at least none that I know well enough to have had this conversation with). We all feel a bit weird not working. But we do what we've got to do. I know for me, and for several other moms, we feel a bit vulnerable, depending solely on our husbands financially. I've watched enough people go through divorces that I know things won't go well for me if my husband and I split up. But, for me, I'm making the best decisions I can make for my son and having faith that everything else will work out.

For me, funerals are for the living, not the dead. So I would go of my mother, sister or best friend needed me there. Otherwise I wouldn't attend a funeral. I'd rather dig through old photos of the person and share favorite stories with someone else who knew him well. I wouldn't want to attend a social function where I was expected to talk to people I don't know all that well. I don't know your parents or why thhey didn't attend. I'm only writing this to say I probably wouldn't have gone unless a family member told me they needed my support there.

When I switched dentists the new dentist asked why I left the old one. I was surprised and I don't think I was very articulate so I think it's good to think about these things ahead of time. I also think it makes sense to tell the dentist you left why you left. He/she would want to know that there was a problem with a staff member.

I find the phrase "put your parents in a nursing home" odd because that just isn't how it works in my family. My mom didn't make decisions like that for her parents. They put themselves in an assisted care facility. They made financial plans, and moved to the facility of their choice. Same on my dad's side. My only living grandparent is still doing really well and lives in a very nice assisted living facility. No one put her there. She moved in herself. She and her late husband did the research and planned financially for their retirement so that all of this is taken care of. My aunt takes her out for lunch or dinner several times a week and everyone visits as often as they can. I think adults making decision for other adults is odd unless one of the adults is no longer mentally able to make decisions. Assuming your children will take care of you is odd. If your children offer and both parties agree, that is great, but neither the parents nor the kids should make assumptions about something this major. No one is going to decide for me where I am going to live as a senior unless I'm no longer capable of making that decision. I plan to live in an assisted living facility when the time comes. I have no plans to take care of my parents or my in-laws personally, but my husband and I will contribute financially, if needed. To my knowledge everyone has things squared away financially, but if something unexpected comes up, we will help. They are all mentally competent adults. It just wouldn't occur to me to step in and try to make decisions for them.

I was certain that I never wanted to have kids. And then at age 28, I changed my mind.

Gosh, there are so many possibilities. California has a lot to offer. As others have said Lake Tahoe is beautiful. The Redwood Forest is also really pretty. The Yellowstone/Grand Teton area is one of my favorite and offers a lot of unique things to see. Any of these places would have the type of lodging you are looking for if you just search for cabins or homes to rent.

I enjoy planning at least one new adventure each year in addition to taking mini trips on the weekends. Up until now our trips have always been in the United States and usually involve car travel and/or camping. This year we are heading to Paris, our most expensive trip ever by far and our first time to Europe, so I am very excited.

I'd like to participate. And reading this thread inspired me to get up off the couch and actually go outside for a few minutes. It's 34, so I didn't stay out long, but did get to see the hot air balloons. So thanks for that.

It's actually kind of a comfort to me to read this thread because our 7-year-old son started sleeping in our room on Halloween night and has only made it a couple nights in his room all the way through the night since. He sleeps on the floor and doesnt usually bother us. He actually sleeps in later in our room than he did in his own bed, not sure why that is. Sleeping on our brick floor with just a sleeping bag and a couple of blankets seems very uncomfortable to me, but he doesn't seem bothered by it.

Thanks everyone for your gift ideas! I definitely plan to use some of them. And I agree with those of you who suggested asking my sister to bring some gifts. I'll talk to her about that. Unfortunately having the extra kids come later isn't an option.

So, I just found out this past weekend that I have four kids to buy gifts for I wasn't expecting to need to shop for. The whole thing has kind of been a mess, with my sister telling me we were probably getting together with these kids (her partner's children) but on a different day than our main Christmas celebration, then telling me it definitely wasn't happening and now it's on, but on the same night the rest of our family is celebrating. When my family celebrates there are usually six or so adults and two kids. Each individual or family (depending of relationship status) buys about five gifts for each person (it may seem like a lot, but that is just what we've always done, so it is normal to us). A lot of the gifts are just small things we've picked up throughout the year. However, now there are four more kids to shop for. I've never met these children and I have no idea what to get them. I feel like I should get each of them several presents so they are not left with only a couple presents each to open while the rest of us open our 15+ presents. As annoyed as I am with my sister for springing this on us last minute, it's certainly not the kids fault and I don't want them to feel left out. So, I need ideas for presents for a 15-year-old girl who is smart, likes learning new facts and likes to read; a 13-year-old boy who likes soccer, specifically the Portland Timbers, and movies; an 8-year-old girl who likes reading, books on CD and sock monkeys (my mom will get her a sock monkey though, because she makes them); and a 5-year-old girl who is into faeries, My Little Pony and drawing. Any ideas for any of these ages/genders would be appreciated. I would like to get them several smaller things so they have a bunch of gifts to open. I'm not sure my mom or her partner will be open to getting multiple gifts for each kid, so I really feel like I need to come through on this. I'm not on a tight budget, but I don't want to go too crazy. I've already spent a lot of money of gifts this year. Thanks!

I think using that in place of who is incorrect, but I don't care in casual conversation, emails or online forums such as this one. However, if someone is a professional writer they should be able to keep that and who straight. I definitely judge authors and journalists who can't remember when to use that and when to use who.

This is my biggest fear, that I am setting him up for failure. If the end message is "I tried my best at something new and it didn't work out, " that is a good lesson to learn. If the end message is "I'm a failure, I can't do anything right, I never want to do anything like this again," then I want to get him out now.

Thanks for this. It's good to look at the big picture. I'm so bogged down in the moment where my son is miserable. This whole parenting thing is harder than it looks.

This program sounds awesome. It looks like it is only in Canada though? At least all of my google searches resulted in Canadian programs. Yes they are focusing on skills the rest of the time. My son does okay except for the dribbling. He makes a few baskets when we practice. And his passing is getting a lot better.

Our pictures are so similar that before I saw your name I was wondering why I had said I didn't read this thread, since it's my own thread. Then I realized that it wasn't me who had somehow types that message without remembering but someone else. I agree that a different sport that is more individual may be a better option.

Okay, this is good advice. I should start working with him daily on his skills. Back when we had a nice yard with grass we were outside in it several days a week tossing a ball, playing with a hula hoop, etc. Our current yard isn't nearly as conducive to playing such games and I've let it slide. Time to find a nice park and pick that back up.

It's 6-7, so I can't drop him down, but this is good advice. Thanks!

Thanks for the feedback. It's good to be reminded that many people out their don't have all positive experiences with team sports. I do feel like I've failed a bit letting it get this far without him having many sports skills. But at the same time, he's just not that interested. And he's also really not that good. Perhaps he would be better if we spent hours a week practicing, but I don't think he has any desire to, and I really think it would take a huge amount of time to catch him up to his peers, if it was possible at all. He may be able to do a swim team one day, but right now he's not a good enough swimmer. He takes lessons, but progress has been slow. I've thought about the homeschool indoor climbing program they have. But the youngest age allowed to join is 7. I hate for him to be the youngest in a group because he is a bit immature. Gosh, this sounds like I'm really critical of my son. Really, he is a great kid who excels at reading and loves to build contraptions. While we were waiting for basketball practice to start he was making a ramp out of his legs to see how far he could make the ball roll. The other kids were practicing their shooting. I think that right there is telling me something.

If you were going to try to find someone to give private lessons, how would you go about this? This is something I've been considering for the past year, but don't really know where to start. I don't know any older kids in our homeschool groups and we don't attend church.

What are everyone's thoughts on team sports? Are they an important part of a child's life or not really that important at all? My son is 7, and I've spoken about him on these boards before. He may or may not have a diagnosis of high-functioning autism (depending on the doctor you talk to) and is also kind of the weird kid in most groups. I've held off signing him up for sports. He's not very athletic and has trouble sometimes in group situations. He doesn't have much experience with sports. He was in a homeschool PE for a little over a year, but was getting very distressed about it, so I stopped making him go. This year I thought it might be time to try again. I asked him first if he'd like to play and he said he wanted to play basketball. I signed him up in a non competitive league and didn't think much more about it. It's clear to me know (hind sight is 20/20) that I should have been doing a lot to prepare him for this. All the other kids know how to play and know all the rules and whatnot. Not all of them are great, but they are all better than my son and it is very obvious to him. Since that first practice my husband and I have both been practicing with him every day. His passing has gotten a lot better, but he still can't really dribble very well. I see now that basketball was a very bad choice for us to make, as it's kind of a complicated one. It's the sport that he wanted to play, but I should have tried to steer him in a different direction (once again, hindsight). They did a scrimmage tonight at practice and I can see now that there is no way in the world that he can play in a game. Not only was he near tears on the court, he was constantly trying to leave to come sit with me and never had any idea what he should be doing at any given time. My husband wants him to keep playing. If it was just a matter of him being good enough to play but bored with it, I'd make his stick the season out, since he made a commitment. But I'm hearing him say things like "I'm not good at anything," "Everyone hates me," that sort of thing and I'm worried this experience could actually be damaging to him. When you look up the benefits of team sports for kids, confidence building is usually one of the top things listed. This experience is in no way building his confidence. I've never in my entire life hear him speak this way about himself. As I'm typing it out, I guess the answer is pretty clear. He needs to drop out of the team. But as far as team sports go, should I keep trying to figure something out for him? Is there any way to salvage this year of basketball? If I try again for a difference sport, are there any suggestions? Or are team sports not really that important for everyone?

I have help cleaning my house as well, but it doesn't embarrass me. Having a uterus doesn't automatically qualify me as being a good housekeeper. I'm really terrible at keeping the house clean, but having a clean house makes me happy. I'm finally at a point in my life when I can pay someone to help out, so why not do it? I spend a great deal of time either educating my son or taking care of meeting his social needs. That's what's most important to me.

When this started happening to me (but at around 3 or 4 am) nothing worked. Not magnesium, not lemon balm, not lavender. For a long time, melatonin worked for me, but that stopped as well. And this whole waking up in the middle of night thing was new. I've long had insomnia, but was always able to stay asleep once asleep, so these new symptoms concerned me. Often I could not go back to sleep and I was exhausted all the time. I got a lot of really beautiful morning walks in, but that is the only positive thing to be said about it. I eventually caved and asked my doctor for a sleeping pill. I was giving Ambien. I've heard it can be very addictive, but it worked for me. I'd wait and take it when I woke up, so long as I woke up before 5. It would put me right back to sleep. After a couple weeks, I was sleeping through the night and didn't need to use pills any more, so I stopped taking them. I know this is not the route everyone would want to take, but for me, I was so desperate for sleep I was willing to try it.

As sad as it's been to read all of these replies and see how much it pains so many people to live away from the place that they feel is home, it's made me feel a little more normal as well. I too left Portland behind, temporarily I thought, to go to college. I've never lived there again. I met my husband in college and we moved back to his home state so he could go to graduate school. Because my family is all either in Oregon or Washington I go back once or twice a year every year. It's been hard every single time. I often cried when I left and was depressed for days after returning. Honestly, if I didn't have family there I would have stopped going. Portland is so wonderful in so many ways (including all of my immediate family living there) that being there, being surrounded by what I couldn't have was awful. I think that always in the back of my mind hoped we may end up there again. But with my husband's job, it's extremely unlikely that anything in is field will open up there. I finally gave up on that dream and it's helped bring some closure. It still makes me sad when I visit, but at least it doesn't bring me to tears any more. Not only am I sad that I can't live in the city I want, but relationship with my family isn't as close any more, because of the distance. I've had to accept all of this as just part of being a grownup. I am finally living in a place I like, starting to build a strong community I hope, and we just in the past few months bought the house we plan to live in at least until my husband retires. So being settled in one place for long term that I genuinely do like helps. Also, I live in the southwest now, as opposed to the East Coast, so Portland isn't as far away if I'm feeling the need to visit. One thing that has helped me when I visit home is to act more like a tourist. Instead of driving around to all of my old stomping grounds and driving through neighborhoods and pick out houses I'd like to live in, I plan trips to the beach or drives up the gorge. We get out of the city and see new things. I'll use Yelp to find new restaurants to try, rather than just going to all the old places that I love but make me home sick. All this to say, I can competently understand your pain. Portland, and all of Oregon really, is a great place to live. But it can also be a great place to visit if you can get your mind in the right place. That's easier said that done, I know. For me, while the relationships with my family weakened (and this made me really sad, but it was also just a fact of life), I made new close friends in our new home, and I at least has some really great and understanding people to go back to when I had to leave Portland.

Math: Continue with Miquon, LOF Language Arts: Going to give English Lessons Through Literature a try. We'll see if I need to add to it. Spelling: Sequential Spelling History: SOTW 2 Science: BFSU PE: Going to try the PE class at the climbing gym. Music: We might give learning the recorder a try.