I am so sorry for your terrible loss.

Hoping to hear good news.... More hugs to you & your family.

Agreed. IMO, *all* children's clothing should be dirt-brown.

Thanks for this! I love one-pan meat/egg/cheese dishes. This one is new to me, and I'm looking forward to trying it!

DS and I eat the same breakfast M-F, but it differs from week to week (I make a week's worth every Sunday). This week, it was biscuits, bacon and scrambled eggs. I toasted my biscuit, put butter and cheese on it and put it back in the toaster oven, then made a sandwich with my eggs & bacon. I think DS just ate each thing separately. In his opinion, toasting something is too time-consuming. I'm lucky he's OK with microwaving. ;) For next week I'll make sausage/egg/cheese sandwiches with the English muffins I bought last week but no one has eaten yet. Oh, I also had black coffee. Lots and lots of coffee, before, during and after. Every day. On weekends, he eats cereal and I eat a bagel.

Quoting you again because your last sentence reminded me of something. When DS was about 3, we took him to a pumpkin farm/haunted house/everything-else-Halloween place. He did the corn maze, all the little-kid rides, got the treats, the face-painting, yada yada yada. But the haunted house was age/height restricted. So as we were leaving and I asked him to tell me something he enjoyed, his response was "Nothing. I didn't get to go in the haunted house." And he sulked all the way home. I think he *still* struggles with that tendency (but he's better at keeping it to himself now - probably because he knows I'll refute it - and maybe that's progress).

Lots to agree with here.... In addition or as an alternative to the above, I might invite her to write it all down - ALL of her complaints - in a letter. She gets one chance to blurt it all out, on paper, and I don't want to hear any more expressed verbally. And then if she does actually deliver it, I may or may not read it, I may or may not let her know I read it, I may or may not invite discussion. She has her choices to make; I have mine. Love the bolded. (And totally love the joy-sucking story!) Agreed - but I know my son would be complaining precisely because he does NOT want to focus on what he can control. SO much easier to blame anyone/anything else ... at the ripe old age of 16, he's an old hand at that. Again, this has been my experience, too. It's really rather shocking how far from truth those "memories" can get. Even when all the details and facts are laid out (like your music examples), it seems nearly impossible for DS to accept that what he has imagined/told himself for years could possibly be incorrect. It's maddening. OP - I agree with others that it can be common in young 20s - especially if they are away at school or otherwise out of the house and experiencing life a different way and through/with other people's stories. Given that yours is still at home, it strikes me as part sad-sack, part attention-hound. The eternal pessimist, as someone upthread suggested. And maybe time to consider making her own way in the world. I also can't help but agree with others about the eye-rolling - except I probably couldn't keep it to myself. I'm glad there is a therapist involved. Ultimately I'd do whatever I could to deflect everything in the therapist's direction. And try really hard to keep my big mouth shut!

WAY too pricey for me, and I'm not particularly interested anyway - so even if it were $20 per ticket I wouldn't go.

I'm sorry, Ellen. I know it hurts. I would not contact a lawyer or anything like that. Instead, if you can manage it, a brief face-to-face with her might be good, especially so you can try to find out what happened, and to ask her if she thinks she'd be able to give you a good reference in the future. Go ahead and tell her you enjoyed working there and, if you can, wish her well. :grouphug: I hope you're able to find another suitable position soon.

Gift cards - Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Visa Books by writers we both like, or that my boss read and thought I'd enjoy - not just grabbing a random bestseller off the shelf Photo frame for my desk

I agree with others about having as much unchaotic time as possible at home. But I am a homebody and would be delighted if I had three days in a row when I never had to leave the house. Grocery delivery sounds good; is there a laundromat near you that offers laundry service for a price per pound? If money isn't too tight, you may find that to be helpful, too - but for the drop-off/pick-up errands.

So glad to hear about improvement, Lizzie. May the upswing continue.

I agree. Another possibility: Can they have the girls at their house while your spouse is away, instead of coming to you and then going to them later? If it's only a few days, I would think schooling would not be terribly harmed/disrupted at their ages.

Can she get reasonable internet time at the library, and is transportation to/from the library feasible? She could maybe do a few hours a week of online tutoring from there. Can she self-study Korean without internet? Maybe get the reading/writing down until she can find a native speaker to work with.

We are here when you need us, Ellen, and we've got your back, even if we can show it only in small ways. Always wishing you the best.

Interesting that it's a pretty even split right now - 28 yes, 30 no. My parents taught us hats at meals (even at home) were rude. Now, I notice hats, but I really don't care. But OneStep pinpoints why I asked: My son, too, loves fedoras, and I often remind him to take it off "because some people think it's rude." After about the hundredth time of reminding him, I started to wonder if it really is still considered rude. So I will back off, and make it more of a caution for the future, when he's hobnobbing with hoi polloi who know which fork to use and which water glass is theirs. I have been awkward and uncomfortable in formal dining situations, and I would prefer that he get better instruction and practice than I did so he can mix comfortably.

Interesting question. You can decide for yourself, and post your thoughts. :001_smile:

My first attempt at a poll. I hope I get it right! Multiple answers allowed, votes not public.

I'm glad to hear K is sleeping at last. May it be restorative, and return peace to your family. All strength to you, Ellen. I am so sorry for all you are suffering. :grouphug:

DH and I feel the same. And your post reminded me of one of our favorite songs: "The Prettiest Eyes" by The Beautiful South. [edited to remove link] Take a look at those crow's feet - just look - Sitting on the prettiest eyes. Sixty twenty-fifth of Decembers Fifty-nine Fourth of Julys. You can't have too many good times, children, You can't have too many lines. Just take a good look at the crow's feet Sitting on the prettiest eyes.

Happy birthday, Emily! And congratulations, Susan, on such a long stretch of success in so many areas! ( <-- reframing the "ancient" bit for you)

Oh my, Yael, what a rough couple of years your family has had! :grouphug: Since first seeing this thread, I have gone back and refreshed myself on all the goings-on, and I wonder whether your son has seen the doctor who diagnosed the mono since the diagnosis was made. Does that doctor think your son has fully recovered? I have no experience personally, but I have read (here) that pushing it too soon can be very problematic. Couple that with regular teen stuff, and it might explain what you're seeing now. If your son hasn't seen that doctor, I'd make that appt as soon as I could. I think I would be inclined to go with the extended 11th grade (not necessarily a full year) you contemplated at the beginning of this thread. It may be that he could still finish "on time" at the slower pace with a longer timeframe and lighter course expectations (e.g., no AP). Are the current remaining classes ones that your son particularly enjoys? If not, I might withdraw from everything and take a month or 6 weeks completely off for him to rest and regroup. But having said that, I now remember the phone/internet troubles ... sigh. It is impossible to know what to do. I guess all this babbling is to say that I would prioritize health and relationship - even though I know that would be incredibly hard for me to pull off with my own son, because - graduate! on! time! is ringing in my ears. If it helps any, my 11th grade son is in danger of failing at least one class - an elective of his choice! - and he hasn't been through any of the things your son has. :glare:

I would love to know if the student comes to the next class meeting with a veterinarian's note supporting an excused absence.

All things "fashion." I don't understand fashion, I find it wasteful to buy all new clothing three times a year, and most of it is just dumb (belted sweaters as long as bathrobes, anyone? Visible G-strings?). I'm pretty much a Land's End/Eddie Bauer kinda gal. I want it all to look pretty much the same, I want it all to be all cotton and fine in a regular washer and dryer, and I want it all to fit properly. - Signed, the woman pushing 50 who still has stuff from high school because it still fits and isn't worn out yet. If I can't wear it in public, I can still wear it while sleeping/gardening/cleaning.

Children's clothes in any color other than dirt-brown.