Catherine
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Posts posted by Catherine
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I agree with Creekland about declining sooner rather than later once the student has firmly ruled out a school.
One example from personal experience you might want to consider, depending on your situation: my ds was accepted to 2 schools, one regional state U, one very large private U. He planned a gap year. He also didn't realize at first that the state U was a stronger school academically for his areas of interest, as well as being smaller (a plus for him). Once he figured that out, he declined the private U...then we learned that state U did not allow gap years! Only one semester. He considered changing his choice of schools; private U had already been declined though. We later learned they might have welcomed him back, but no need.
I was caught off guard. It all worked out in the end, but he learned a good lesson-ALWAYS check yourself, don't rely on mom! And I learned not to assume anything.
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My son took it when he applied to private high schools locally, and I used a test prep book that I got at Amazon. I had him look at one of the complete tests and do one section timed so he could get a feeling for how he'd need to pace himself. He took it upon himself to do another section or two timed, for practice, but I agree that it's an SAT style of test that is hard to prepare for. Best wishes to your ds!
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I had the same thought. Then I realized that Lulu would become an art professor at Harvard, and then everything would be okay in the world again!
You know, I honestly think you are misreading the book completely. I don't think Amy Chua set out to make her daughters Harvard graduates. Her interest was in making them understand that success is the result of HARD work. Work that you have to make sacrifices for. Most of us would agree with that sentiment, I think. It's just that our path to teaching that reality, and our kids' capacity to absorb it, are different.
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The part she said about the birthday card, though...that I could not get behind. She said something like, "I spend thousands of dollars on your birthdays, but on mine, you give me a scribbled card?! Do it over! I reject this card!" That did not sound like parody to me. That sounded like a hateful exchange I would not utter in my worst nightmare.
See, that was one of the passages that really spoke to me in the book. I haven't said anything as critical to my kids, mostly because I am way cautious about being critical (baggage) but IMO it is totally OK for a parent to point out a kid's lack of investment in the relationship. She pointed out that she had invested hugely in a birthday celebration for her daughter, and on her own birthday, got a thoughtless and hastily made card. I see no reason at all why the balance of expression of caring should be so lopsided. Even for 6 year olds. Asian parents, in Asia, are far more demanding of their children. FAR more. As in, daughters in law are expected to take all kinds of abuse from their MILs, for years, sons are expected to fulfill parental aspirations for their careers, etc. In return, there is a very clear expectation that children will honor, respect, and materially support their parents.
I had a recent experience of observing 2 daughters, of Asian decent and arrived to the USA as adults, hovering over their ill father. Their affection, loving service and support of him were really noticeably different from what I see Americans do for their aging parents. IF they even show up at the bedside, their "care" is often lacking, and they often seem to make the situation about themselves. I recognize this is a small "n" but I still think it really does show an important cultural difference.
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I think that one's response to the Tiger Mom book has a lot to do with both one's own upbringing and with the kids that are around us, outside of our own. That may explain why I had a generally positive response to the book. I guess I could really see in the book that they were a generally happy family and balanced the work with shared fun and happy times. I didn't have an unhappy childhood, but I would have really appreciated more support for MY interests, and more support period. My parents definitely did not see it as their job to be involved beyond the early years, and definitely did not see it as their job to make it possible for my dreams to come true.
By the same token, I see a lot of the "special snowflake" phenomenon where I live. Parents who go to the ends of the earth to protect their offspring from every stress and challenge. And whose fears seem much more about whether their child will have a happy and stress-free social life than whether they will be able to function as adults and manage college. So I am not that surprised about the followup in the article. I don't see it as abusive to hold high standards for one's children, though I wouldn't take it quite to the level that Amy Chua did. I have a close friend whose mom was an extreme tiger mother, and they are very close now, though she definitely raises her children differently. High standards, but no abuse. I still believe that feeling loved and accepted is the most important determinant of adult happiness.
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I am so very glad your dh is out of the hospital and all is going well. Please keep us posted!
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If it's possible you haven't read Unbroken, it's excellent.
Also The Glass Castle. This book changed me. In fact I started a thread to discuss it (General Board maybe?) and many had read it and had strong opinions about it.
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Yes, he was neutered as a kitten. Why did you ask?
Hmmm, good idea, that he may be doing some activity that has reinjured it in the same way. Now, I wonder what?
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You know I also hated The Great Brain; we listened to the audiobook years ago, and I did not look further into the series. Most of the bullying and its treatment of the rejection of an "ethnically not white" kid were par for the course for books written at that time, and I could overlook them. One of my biggest objections was actually the way the book treated female characters-there are zero female characters that are "real" and have agency. I can't even remember it now, but as I recall the only woman in the book who was not someone's invisible mother (understandable in a children's book) was a total caricature.
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We have a big male cat who spends a lot of time outside. At least 3 different times over the years, he has disappeared for a day or two and come home with a lame right front paw. I can palpate a tender area just distal to the last joint, and he put little to no weight on it since he returned home a little over 24 hours ago.
Last time this happened he was persistently lame for at least 3 weeks, so I took him to the vet. Of course she could find no area of tenderness at all, even though he was still limping at times.
Any guesses what this might be? He has had abscesses several times before and I know the signs-lethargy, lack of appetite, then after about 24 hours the abscess drains and he recovers. This is not like that-he is eating, drinking, even trying to get out again (in fact the stinker snuck out this morning and we fortunately caught him and brought him back), but he is just very lame in the one front leg.
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Over reaction?
Our governor declared a state of emergency more than 24 hours before the first snowflakes were expected to fall. What more could I say?
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Cat so very glad to hear good news. Thinking of you constantly.
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The problem with compassionate people who claim they don't think mass migration is a "solution" (as if fleeing for one's survival could be considered optional) is that they offer no plausible alternative solutions.
The people are real and are asking for our help. That is the point. Monica, what would you say to this man?
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Be excited. VERY excited.
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I think what hurts most is that one child in particular is not doing well, and he blames me/homeschooling for his troubles. And sadly he is a criminal. (Been in jail 3 times and has a felony) So, I do take it personally, wonder if I did things wrong, etc. yes, our children are their own selves but many of us hope they carry on things like religiously/family beliefs. Thank you for sharing.
(((((hugs))))) to you. I know that you are suffering-it must be so painful. I have a close friend whose son has been in jail, in juvie, homeless, a drug addict, etc. The pain has been awful, not to mention the fear...that he will die or seriously harm someone else. I am very fortunate-I've not been there...yet. But one thing that really helped my friend a great deal is an online forum for parents of RAD kids, and NA (Narcotics Anonymous) for family members of addicts.
Watching a child make poor choices is one of the most difficult things about parenthood. It literally feels like a rejection of who we are. But they are their own people. Letting go of the outcome is something that takes a lifetime.
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Cardia rehab. If it's not offered, ask for it. Very helpful on many fronts.
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We are all pulling for him, Catwoman. I'm also someone whose spent more time than I'd like in ICUs and I know "the agony and the ecstasy" rollercoaster of emotions when one has a critically ill loved one. Just do what you need to do to survive. Sooner than you realize it will end and life will be more stable but it seems endless now I am sure. Much love to all of you.
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My very best wishes and hopes for your dh, and my love and support to you and your family! Many hugs to all of you.
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I had a friend once tell me that the Little House books were too feminist and shouldn't be given to young girls.
Re: Jane Austen being "porn in print"---I think her books have a subversive element and I wonder if that is what the lady is responding to. They are hilarious, but the humor is not that far away from Roald Dahl-the silly and stupid and evil people often get what's coming to them. I think satire is very threatening to some people. Wonder why. LOL.
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Joining in for the first time. I am reading Unnatural Death, a Peter Wimsey story by Dorothy Sayers, part of my path through all of her mysteries. I only have a couple to go, The Five Red Herrings and Murder Must Advertise are next. I love these stories! Fun and entertaining and little bit erudite, but not too much. Also listening to the audio book of The Job: True Tales from the Life of a New York City Cop by Steve Osborne. Very entertaining, if rather profane! Also finished the audio book of Little Dorrit recently, which is LONG. I liked it though.
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Followup: used Fedex and it arrived in 18 hours! Excellent service but yes, it was insanely expensive.
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Let me know if you think there might be regional differences. And this is shipping to Canada from the USA if that makes any difference. TIA!
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The Monterey Peninsula is *EXACTLY* what you are looking for, and one of the most beautiful and fabulous places ever ;)
We used to live there, got married there, and just went back a few years ago.
Staying in either of these towns is great: Monterey, Pacific Grove, Carmel, Big Sur
You can explore them all, no matter where you stay. March is prime whale watching season, if I remember correctly.
We stayed at The Spindrift Inn, in Monterey, and oh my was it heaven!! Wood burning fireplaces, wood floors, big comfy beds, and continental breakfast brought to your room every morning on a silver tray :)
There are lots of rustic cabins in the woods, and yurts overlooking the ocean, in Big Sur.
Eat at Nepenthe when you go down to Big Sur. Eat at Roys, at the Inn on Spanish Bay when you drive down 17 mile drive... our favorite restaurant in Monterey was/is El Toritos. There is a fabulous breakfast spot near the Monterey Bay Aquarium, I think called "Awakenings" or something... lots of walking paths throughout Monterey- walk down to Lovers Point- so beautiful!!
Hike at Point Lobos State Park (please Google this to see the beautiful scenery!!), go to Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park and hike to McWay Falls (please google that too!).... lots of hiking and smaller Redwoods in that area.
*sigh* If I won the Powerball, I'd move there tomorrow....
Yes, yes, yes.
We honeymooned out west and spent several days in a cabin in Big Sur State Park. Then just after Christmas, went the once more with our 3 children, 2 grown, one almost grown. So it's been many years! But the drive along the coast, redwoods, everything.
We just hiked in Julia Pfeiffer park and it is truly gorgeous. See the aquarium in Monterey. Highway 1 it dotted with pull offs where you can take in the incredible Pacific\mountain\beach\forest views. There is no other place anywhere like it.
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Delete them. Go to the website and find "beginner baby steps" and just do that. It's 30 days. Then when you are beginning to get a sense of control, you can start to read some of the emails. Alternatively, delete the sales pitches and read one motivational email daily-the "morning musing" or "ask flylady". I did find the motivational ones helped me when I was starting out.
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Book a Week 2016 - BW5: February Safari
in The Chat Board
Posted
I read this many years ago, before I was married and just as I was meeting the man I married. I ran out to buy it but have not re-read! It's a wonderful book!
Can anyone comment on the movie? I did not see it.
My update-reading A Thorn in My Pocket, memoir by Eustachia Cutler, Temple Grandin's mother. Love it so far. She's a great writer and captures the fear, sadness, defiance, and growing strength that she experienced while raising her unique and challenging daughter.