I completely understand where you are coming from. I am not a disciplined person, if I make to-do lists...well, I lose them, I forget what I want to do... and so on. One thing I work on is habits... one at a time. I forget how many times, you have to do something to make it a habit, but it is a lot. One of my little things is that I do leg lifts while I brush my teeth. It is a little thing, but I made sure I did them everytime I brushed my teeth and now I am incapable of brushing without doing leg lifts! My girls have always had buttons of mine that they were good at pushing. Once again, one issue at a time... I try to program myself to step back when I feel that emotion (that would be "rage"!). Remind myself to be "the adult" and not take it personally. Be the bigger person. I'm not taking in the whole picture, I guess, but I am dealing with that one emotion. I focus on the one bad emotion, and program myself to have a counter reaction. I don't know if that makes sense, but it helps. Also, make sure you aren't being "all or nothing". I am hugely "all or nothing", so this has been a biggie for me. Give yourself permission to start over again. So you splurged on icecream last night. Your diet isn't over. You don't need to quit. Just start right today. So you didn't do anything on your new schedule yesterday.... just do what you had for today. You blew it with your kid... actually tell him, "I blew it. Let's start that conversation over." Don't dwell on the mistakes, just move forward. Hang in there!

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am not a disciplined person, if I make to-do lists...well, I lose them, I forget what I want to do... and so on. One thing I work on is habits... one at a time. I forget how many times, you have to do something to make it a habit, but it is a lot. One of my little things is that I do leg lifts while I brush my teeth. It is a little thing, but I made sure I did them everytime I brushed my teeth and now I am incapable of brushing without doing leg lifts! My girls have always had buttons of mine that they were good at pushing. Once again, one issue at a time... I try to program myself to step back when I feel that emotion (that would be "rage"!). Remind myself to be "the adult" and not take it personally. Be the bigger person. I'm not taking in the whole picture, I guess, but I am dealing with that one emotion. I focus on the one bad emotion, and program myself to have a counter reaction. I don't know if that makes sense, but it helps. Also, make sure you aren't being "all or nothing". I am hugely "all or nothing", so this has been a biggie for me. Give yourself permission to start over again. So you splurged on icecream last night. Your diet isn't over. You don't need to quit. Just start right today. So you didn't do anything on your new schedule yesterday.... just do what you had for today. You blew it with your kid... actually tell him, "I blew it. Let's start that conversation over." Don't dwell on the mistakes, just move forward. Hang in there!

That is awesome!

I will agree with SOTW for history. My kids were auditory kinestetics, so I would have them draw while I was reading to them. We then scrapbooked everything. It gives you a fun finished project. We really like Real Science 4 Kids. They had some fun hands on projects. Try Beginnings Publishing (Rainbow science) I only used this at the older levels, but we were impressed with the experiments at that level.

See, I think I am frustrated with the list, because I am posting on a classical education board, and my three oldest kids were decidedly non-academic! So I feel like I failed with the first things on the list, and that makes me grumpy. I taught in a rather classical manner, but they didn't really embrace it. So I feel a great short fall there! My youngest is decidedly academic, but as the youngest, she was molded in with the rest, and then she went to public school in 7th grade, where she has received straight A's, and is still thriving in her Freshman year at the tech school. But you know for the most part, all my kids have all the other things on that list in great abundance (for the most part). For instance, when my now 17 year old was 12, I found out his bike had been stolen AFTER he made the police report. This is also the kid must have really astonding rapport & conflict-resolution skills, because he gets pulled over about once a month, and only has 2 tickets on his record.... (deep sigh). My oldest has been running her own business since she was 19. She works hard and gets things done. But it did make me happy the other day, when she called and said, "I'm having a bad day. I want you to come visit." Number 2 didn't come out at all like I expected. He is a bit of a perfectionist, but also a follower. That isn't really the right word, because in reality, just like his youngest sister, he can get anybody to do what he wants them to do. But I guess he is the one who gave into peer pressure. He isn't his own individual like his sibs are. He cares too much what others think. Of course, he is REALLY cool... (another sigh). All in all, they are good little humans. Not the smartest humans, but they'll make it in life.

Very good list! I'm at a point with my kids where I can actually analyze how I have done.... Hmmmm.... I'm not sure what my grade is! In reality, I think so many of those skills have an awful lot to do with personality. I was about to diagram all my kids for you, and then realized that you would all fall asleep, so I hit the delete button!

Stacia- I'll take the compliment about the view, but the person on the fish is not me! I just knew she had a picture of it on her FB! Thanks, Shannon

Oh! I have tears! That was so funny. At my house dh buys the new towels, so I couldn't really relate to that. He also bought the giant carved salmon, with a saddle on it, which sits on our front porch, so I really can't relate at all to the story. But it was still great.

Oops... I was trying to quote Sahamamamma... not quite sure what happened there! Anyway, her advice is great! You've got a stubborn one on your hands. Let her mature, teach her to overcome things she doesn't want to do. In time, she will be ready to do all that stuff. She sounds like she might be overwhelmed but things, but I really don't know. I have some really stubborn kids, of course they are a challenge. Unless, she had a wonderful teacher, she wouldn't be nurtured into performing, she would be broken into a mold. (That is some sort of weird mixed metaphor, but hopefully my point is coming across!) We started off with all our kids in school. When we brought everybody home, there were some things that they were able to really relax about. Because you don't have that experience to compare things with, you don't realize how freeing the situation you have right now is!

How awful! My youngest had severe asthma problems as an infant and toddler. We had moved right before she was born, but had continued going to our previous Ped. who was 25 minutes away... well, just because we did... I didn't think about it. However, because we were frequently in resperatory distress, our Dr. insisted we find a Dr. who was closer to us, purely for safety's sake. What a blessing. The previous dr. was well respected, and all that, but he always poo-poo'd everything I said. He just seemed tired of "stupid" parents. Even when I proved him wrong twice, I didn't question it, because well, you know, he was the doctor. But this new Dr., WOW! He listened to me, he listened to the kids. He trusted "mother intuition", even requested it. There is no reason to suffer a bad experience, when there is the possibility of a good relationship. FIND A NEW DOCTOR!

We always let the kids do sleepovers. While we had none of the extreme problems that causes parents to have heart attacks, we did suffers all the little inconveniences of grumpy kids, and wasted days the day after! That made me wish that we had said "no" at the very beginning!

Good question! I was kind of wondering this too. This year, I am pretty sure, 3 of our household of 4 already had the flu, a couple weeks ago. Alaska is usually ahead of the rest of the states, and we show up as "widespread" on the flu map. Both my 14 yo, and my husband were severely sick, with temperatures, body aches, and lots of chest congestion and constriction, headaches and more. I was sick but not that sick. My husband, who is never wimpy sick, was literally crying in his sleep, and incapable of even getting himself a drink. My son sailed right through it all.

WendyK- Yep! We went to a conference this summer, and the main speaker had just been to a "Public Speakers" conference of some sort. He said that, his wife hates these things because it is just a giant group of extroverts. He said that they say things like "Enough about me. Let's talk about you.... What do you think of me?" Hee hee.

A mill grinder works the best. They usually have settings for the type of grind. For a french press you want a coarser grind. Mmmmm...

LOL... I changed my name, but since I hadn't posted on here for the last 4 years, I doubt anyone noticed or remembered me! We opened a store in '08 and it consumed every waking hour! We closed it last April, and so slowly I made my way back here. I used to be just shanmar, but I couldn't figure out my password, and my email had changed, so I just started fresh, by adding AK (Alaska) to the front of it.

Wendy- I shouldn't post when I am rushed! As I reread my babble, I realize most of my points didn't even come out in my post. Sigh. First, extrovert-introvert, I just made that up to describe myself. I am very social, I actually have a hard time not talking when I am with people, I like public speaking, I like groups, I like deep intense conversations. However, if I want to get anything done, I want to do it completely and totally alone. I don't like to work with people, or even visit with people when I am doing something. I am completely happy to have an empty house. I used to dream of the day that I would have all my kids in school and have a quiet house all day everyday. (Of course, that never happened, as we pulled all the kids out of school right before the youngest started!) My dialog on my experience overcoming shyness, was supposed to be demonstrating the difference between being a shy extrovert, and just a plain old introvert. But I didn't actually get that point across! I WANTED to do things, that I was afraid to do. That is very different from having no desire to do them. And then I tried to express how much I appreciate introverts. Sometimes they come across as snobbish to some people. But other than that they are delightful to be around. (Especially since I get to blab all I want.) If her mom taught her anything, it would be great to give her some statements that help portray that she isn't be stuck up, but just quiet. That would help others appreciate who she is. I hope I made more sense this time!

Eleven is what I consider the HARDEST age! Then you throw in ADHD and the adjustment to homeschooling, and you are in for a bit of a roller coaster. I agree with the other posters... you've got to sit right there with and work through everything. Only my youngest of 4 kids could ever work independently, the other three couldn't pick up their pencils without my direction! I thought I was doing something wrong, but in hindsight, and seeing the difference with my youngest, that was just them. My son has very exhausting non-diagnosed ADHD! We pulled him out of school in 3rd grade. He was a piece of work. Everything was hard. When he turned 13, he started to have some sucess. It was the greatest feeling, knowing first hand, how much work went into him. He went back to school for highschool. His sophmore year, he came home one day and said "Mom, I think I have ADHD." "....Uh, duh." But you know, this year, he is homeschooling again for his senior year. He is dragging in his US history class, but your know, he got A's in all three automotive classes he took at the University of Alaska. He is the youngest, and right at the top of his class (mom brag, sorry), because he finally found something he loves. So hang in there! Perservere where you feel like you should, but switch tracks where you can. Shake things up. Through the science in there and see if that makes things click. Life Pac's are a bit, umm, boring. My kids learned well when I read to them. So I read for hours everyday. You never know. Go to howtolearn.com and have her take the learning styles quiz. You might adjust things after that. I thought my kids should take notes, because that is how I learn, but no, they are all auditory-kinestetics. So they danced around the room, while I read, and life was good. Find that place.

That was a great video! I'm an extro/intro-vert... who used to be really shy, and outgrew it. Back when I was in highschool and I was still shy, I came up with the epiphany, that everytime I caught myself not doing something because I was afraid, then I HAD to do it. This really changed my life, and broke me out of the shyness that limited me. Because the things that I wasn't doing were things I WANTED to do. However, as others have said, if she is comfortable being quiet, then, really, she is just fine. I know several people who are delightful people. Some hardly talk at all. They are dependable and peaceful. It is about who she wants to be.

We've had similar issues at our house. Not with the girls, just the boys. DH had a horrible relationship with his Dad as a teen, and even though he is so aware of that, he just paints with the same brush, all over. I think he thought if he was morn involved and more loving when they were younger, he would get different results as they became teens. Really, I think he did, but he sees one little sign that they might be rebelling like him, and he freaks! Then he gets frustrated because I don't back him up. All I am trying to do is diffuse the situation, but he doesn't see it that way. Our older boy went way out there, piercings, tatoos, moving out... and he is afraid the next one will do the same. UGH I like the idea of writing down the specific issues, outside of the moment.

Thanks for he suggestions! She lives in Wyoming now, but she is coming home for Christmas. I know she has been collecting things for her "studio corner" in her apartment, but living in WY, her main source is Walmart! I'll have some of those catalogs sent to her, and maybe she'll give me some clues.

LOL... Boots are essential! A must have... OK, I live in Alaska. My job involves me getting in and out of my vehicle all day. I buy a pair of brown boots, and black boots just about every year! Get 'em!

I usually try to go for a lot of little things. That way I can't go all wrong, and maybe something will make them happy! -Cool flashlight -i-tunes card -gagety tool /knife -fleece blanket -outdoor camping gear -socks (sorry, my kids always get socks) -clothes -candy -some sort of cool desk toy -board game -lamp -gas card -floor mat for truck -smelly things for truck ... I'll keep thinking....

Our 4 are fairly close together... so I was pretty overwhelmed when expecting #4. And we both agreed she would be the last one. I was not a good pregnant person, I threw up EVERYDAY, had anemia, and usually went on bed rest at the end. That does not make for a very useful mommy. The stress was pretty evident. But I think we made the right choice. I never really had baby fever after that. I'm not sure if that is useful, but... that's how it worked for us.

My oldest daughter took some acrylic painting classes this summer, and has discovered her new passion. Christmas & her birthday are coming up, and I wondered what we should get her, as I know nothing!