I don't really get it. This conversation seems a little bizarre to me. I think I may have met the kind of person the OP is describing, just never classified them as fake anything. I have met people, mostly women, who seemed a little over-the-top woo-woo to me, almost like a caricature. Like a character from Portlandia, maybe. But I've always just taken people at face value, enjoyed their company (or not), and moved on or just enjoyed the occasional situational contact if we don't click. Maybe it's that I don't really meet them with a particular expectation based on their zen (or anything else), so I don't think they're "fake" anything, kwim? Maybe they're just not my cuppa. I think the idea has been bugging me because it seems unkind to me to call people fake, as though we've got a line on who is real and who isn't. We're most of us doing the best we can.

We just had slow cooker coconut curry chicken last night. Cube chicken and put it in the crockpot. In the food processor, purée: One onion, a bell pepper, a couple hot peppers if desired, a can of coconut milk, 1/4 c. (ish) tomato paste, a Tbs. garam masala, a Tbs. curry powder, salt. Pour over the chicken and stir, cook on low for 6 hours. I usually serve it with brown rice and/or naan, and raita (cucumber-yogurt dressing).

While I understand the distinction you're trying to make, the idea that Muslim women cover out of fear (= bad), and Christian women cover out of faith (= good/acceptable) is incredibly reductionist. The OP is actually asking about different attitudes from non-covered women toward head-covering Christian vs. Muslim women in (presumably, because head covering is not a majority practice where she is) a non-Arabic country. Not all Muslim women choose to wear hijab, especially where it is not a majority practice, and Muslim women who cover do so by choice, and often it can be an expression of deep faith, just as it can be for Christian women. As neither are residing in a larger culture that practices/insists on head covering, I think the only safe assumption about a women wearing a head covering is that her head is covered. To assume faith or lack thereof, or fear or lack thereof, based on the particular religion practiced is presumptuous. This is really important to my heart because any implication that the many lovely young Muslim women I've met and welcomed into my heart are fearful rather than faithful or are not treasured by their families, simply because of their faith or country of origin, makes me sad.

The young Muslim women I have known have chosen to cover voluntarily, even while visiting the USA. (A couple of their friends chose not wear hijab while here.) For them, it is just how they dress. I had a head scarf from Morocco, and asked a pair of exchange students to show me how to wear it, so we discussed wearing hijab specifically, and they said that they felt called to cover their hair, and that they were allowed to choose when to start. For them, it was like a rite of passage, marking a stage in faith and growing up. I assume wearing hijab in the US was for them a little like I might feel visiting a beach at which it was the norm to go topless. I would probably not do so because I would feel uncomfortable, even though it is the norm in that environment. FWIW, the young Muslim women and the young Muslim men we've known and housed and welcomed into our family all spoke warmly and lovingly of their families and of practicing their faith. Wearing hijab for fear of being murdered, or the idea of killing a beloved family member over a head scarf, is as abhorrent to loving Muslim families as it is to ours. Lumping the few "honor killings" that make headlines into the practice of the Muslim faith is just as misguided as lumping the extreme abuse and child death cases caused by following parenting practices espoused by certain Christian authors into all of Christianity.

Wha???? Can you file some kind of protest or appeal? Surely the psych can't charge for a visit s/he spent with another patient... 😲

Or, The comments I get are usually the opposite: Due to incredible stress right now, I am barely able to eat. I'm pretty tired of making noncommittal noises when people say, "No wonder you're so thin. You don't eat." Almost like it's a compliment, sometimes. Or, "I wish I could eat like that." No, you really don't. Believe me, I would love to sit down and really enjoy a full meal or a piece of cheesecake again without feeling like I am eating sawdust. But I don't feel like explaining that my stomach is constantly in knots as I try to keep life from falling apart.

Never been to USVI, but we went to Puerto Rico last winter. We rented a house in the rainforest for a very reasonable price, and used that as home base until we went to the island of Vieques for a couple nights. We had a great time.

I love that dress. I almost ordered it last week. :)

Ditto on the shower and a sandwich. That's all I have to say now, and whichever boy has become unbearable, er, overwhelmed, goes to take care of himself--usually literally a shower and a sandwich, but sometimes a walk with the dog or a snack or he just takes a deep breath and moves on.

I would wonder (and probably ask, if it was someone I know), "Ouch! What happened?" Abuse would likely be on my mental list of potential explanations, but only as one of several possibilities.

Seeing vegetables in your front yard should not in any way inconvenience neighbors or passersby, so I say not rude. When I see vegetable gardens in others' front yards, I slow down to admire. :) I've got three garden boxes and a side strip garden in my front yard.

Or clicking their teeth on their spoons. STOOOOOOPPP!!!!

I've had my mammogram appointment reminder on my desk for three weeks. You've inspired me. I'm going to get up and call right now.

Wow. We can usually get in within a day or two.

I want to party with Sparkly!

If marijuana use is legal in the family member's state, it's their choice as an adult to make an informed decision about whether or not to use it. That would be none of my business beyond sharing politely, when asked or while discussing the issue, my opinions or concerns. Not in my house. I'd likely also set a boundary about spending time together if under the influence, whatever boundary I thought suited the situation and relationship. Treating me as ignorant for respectfully disagreeing or sharing concerns, or trying to "convert" or convince me, oh heck no. That's Very Bad Manners. I would set a clear boundary about that: Happy to discuss it with you, dear loved one, (unless, of course, you're not), but you must be as respectful of my opinion as you expect me to be respectful of yours.

We do make-your-own pizza. Dh has the dough in the fridge right now.

The nonprofit board I participate in has a bookkeeper, who deals with the daily transactions, and a treasurer, who puts together monthly reports, which are reviewed by the board at quarterly meetings. They meet regularly to keep the choir finances in order. We also have a financial oversight committee, two additional people, who meet with the treasurer and bookkeeper twice yearly. The bookkeeper writes checks, as can another member of the choir board (usually the president or vice president), and the treasurer checks the bank statements monthly. One of the best ways to approach this issue, with regard to the personal dynamics, is to stress that having at least two people responsible for finances takes some of the workload off the current treasurer because it's a big job, and that oversight policies are the best way to protect relationships and organizations because there are fewer opportunities for misunderstandings, unfounded accusations, or mistakes. Is there a non-profit support organization in your community? Our organization got a great deal of help and support from nonprofit workshops and consultations. FWIW, we were told that most small nonprofits struggle to run their organizations according to best practices, so it is nothing to be embarrassed about if you need to reach out for help. Going through the consultation process was tremendously helpful in growing our organization. Some banks offer nonprofit workshops and information also.

😄 Dear MIL, We love you. We come to your house to spend Christmas Eve with you. Please tell us what time you actually want us to come, then relax and enjoy your day. That way, you won't have the ham and other food ready by 1:00 for a 4:00 dinner, panic because we're not there, put it all back in the fridge, put it all back in the oven, cook it til it's virtually inedible, then fuss and flutter anxiously about the whole thing when we arrive at 3:30 ready to help you finish the meal and eat at 4:00. P.S. Haricots verts are a variety known as French green beans, but it's unlikely that they were actually imported from France. P.P.S. I hate scalloped potatoes from a box. They have never been my favorite. Sigh. I know I sound horribly mean-spirited. Every year, I smile and eat everything except the potatoes--I even put applesauce on my ham this year--and offer help and try to be as loving and reassuring as I can possibly be. I really do honor the love she has for us all and that she wants us to have a special meal. I really don't even care about the food so much as I just wish she'd relax and enjoy and not try SO hard or worry so much about pleasing us. Thanks for a spot to anonymously let off a little of my get-on-over-myself steam. :)

Hugs. Yes. I get it. Believe me, btdt, have the t-shirt. And, something to consider for the future, if you feel it's necessary someday....people like that count on their threatened ruckus stopping you from setting future boundaries. They count on their irrational reactions stopping you from enforcing rational expectations. Setting boundaries and letting them be responsible for the repercussions of whatever tantrum they decide throw puts the responsibility for their behavior squarely back in their court. Totally not saying you *should* do something different, btw. I know it's super hard to sort it all out when you're dealing with someone difficult. Just...her behavior is hers to own. Hugs again.

I think that anyone who cannot be confronted for inappropriate behavior without making Christmas miserable has a bigger problem than being a snoop. Saying nothing sends the implicit message that the behavior is acceptable. I would have been shocked also, and would likely not have known what to say in the moment. But either myself or my dh (probably dh because it's his mom) would be sitting down with her saying something, politely but firmly. "PlateauMama told me you were looking through the our papers on our desk. We'd like our things to be private. If you have questions about xyz, please ask." The boundary is about expected future behavior. Then enjoy your Christmas and let her decide if she's going to enjoy hers. Hugs. FWIW, I have had to deal with some boundary crossing with my MIL that was even weirder. She's still speaking to me. We actually have a good relationship, and I think that's partly because she knows she can trust me to be (lovingly) straight with her.

I'll go for some muffins! Ds16 is going to make an eggnog cheesecake, so I'll bring that. Haven't watched the show. I'm not ready for Christmas, but I'm not stressed about it. Dh makes Christmas dinner, but I usually prepare a couple sides. This year, he still hasn't decided what he's making. I will be making mashed potatoes and rolls. Dessert is always easy--ds turns 12 on Christmas Day, so we'll have birthday cake.

Grab a tape measure and measure his waist. Usually kid size 18 and men's 28 waist are pretty close. JC Penney has a couple brands that you can order longer inseam if he's tall. A straight or skinny leg should work best if he's slender and doesn't mind tight legs. I have a dancer too, who HATES tight legs, and he's got long long legs (he's already 5' 9" with a 35" inseam) and dancer thighs. Fitting jeans for him is awful. Regular fit is too baggy in the hips; he hates the way skinny and straight jeans feel in the leg. Sigh....

A friend of mine works for a family shelter for homeless families and women escaping abusive relationships. They are asking for winter coats and clothing--I think this is what I will do, donate coats and cash to the shelter program.

You know, when I told my sister, she thought it was a fabulous idea. We all have so much more than we need. Being asked what I want for Christmas kind of stresses me out. So maybe this will be that start of a new holiday tradition, who knows? :)