I wouldn't keep my child in a class where the teacher didn't like him. Kids need to feel welcome, wanted, safe, and cared for at school.

Chicken poop. Hate it. Especially on my porch. If anyone had told me just how much they poop I wouldn't have kept chickens. I'd fence them in with a yard around their coop. Chicken wire and some stakes should do the trick.

Some people even sleep in their workout clothes. Then you could just grab your gym bag and stumble out the door. Go for it! It feels great to be in shape. It'll be worth the results. Good luck!

You nailed it. Yup. That may be my new term for his school.

Yes. The only places I can think of where you have no say about who you spend your days with are prison or the military. One can quit a job, or lousy, disrespectful employees can be fired. If you neighbor harasses you, you can move. But if you are placed in middle school classes with kids who are foul-mouthed, obnoxious, violent, and disruptive, you just have to put up with it! Ridiculous. The school even has prison-like lunchroom rules. The kids MUST be seated after a bell rings. If they aren't near a seat of their choice they are required to sit in the nearest chair. They can't stand up or walk anywhere until given permission. This turns my stomach. I know it's because they are trying to control the kids who tend to fight. But I don't want my kid caught up in the rules designed for kids who can't control their aggression! He is a sweet, funny, friendly, kind, thoughtful kid and doesn't need to be treated this way. Ugh. I need to make a decision.

And really, he has plenty of friends already. We are fortunate and thankful to have a great community of nearby friends and a wonderful church family. He also plays football, rugby, and is active in his boy scout troop. He has several nice friends within walking distance of our house.

We have already discussed the possibility and he thinks that's what he wants. I do worry that he'd be a bit lonely. It would be very different from the 'old days' of our homeschool when his brother and I were both home and we had lots of hs friends. It would just be him. Anyone doing something like this? A young teen home alone for hs half day while you work?

The thing is, I'm not inclined to tolerate my ps carp, either. So I don't know why I'm hesitating! And you're right that he doesn't need me home all morning. I am concerned that he is not a super-motivated kind of guy. Thanks for your encouraging reply.

That's just what I'm going to discuss with my husband tonight. I'm not sure why I'm hesitating -- probably because I know he has some very good teachers. I was so relieved to not be doing all the work of hs anymore. Sigh...

:sad: I just posted a few weeks ago about how my now-public-schooled boys were doing okay in their new schools. Well, little did I know, my younger son had been holding back the truth. I have a new half-time teaching job that I love (teaching developmental preschool); he didn't want to complain about his school because he didn't want me to quit my job to hs again. He saw how much I loved my new work and didn't want to "wreck" it for me. :( I knew there were a lot of discipline issues at the school --physical fighting, foul language, disrespect -- but I didn't know how much all of that was bothering my son. My perky, bouncy, smiley boy has started having stomach aches and having trouble sleeping on Sunday nights. He has spilled his heart out to me a several times about how hard it is to be in such a negative environment all day every day. He says he feels stuck. He is kind of disgusted by how some of the kids behave. He has lost that sunshine-y way that he has always, always had. His grades are very good. He is not being bullied. He has made quite a few nice friends and has a great time at lunch playing football every day. But the environment IS awful, and it's wearing him down. Next year he'll be at the high school with his big brother where my husband teaches. We are very happy with that school and the positive environment there. (Of course it has problems, but nothing like the middles school.) So. The debate in my head: do I pull him out for half-days of hs? (I could do so easily as my teaching job is over at 11:30 each day.) Or do I keep him there so he can build friendships and be up-to-snuff with the style and expectations of 'regular' school? He is 13. Could some of his new moods be plain old hormones? My older son was certainly a grump for a few years. Any input would be appreciated -- especially from those of you who have homeschooled for some time.

Well, these were interesting replies! I especially like the "bring a cocktail" idea and I think I'll be using it. That'll be fun and creative and won't hold things up if people arrive a bit late. I also like the chocolate idea. They all love chocolate and it would be fun to have a little chocolate tasting buffet to go with some red wine. :) And one of them always chooses beautiful flowers, so I may ask her to do that. I admit, I kind of long for the days when people had what I think of as real parties -- not just potlucks. But, I'm willing to adjust! Maybe I'll ask them to let me do a 'real' party for them for my birthday.

Love that! I turn on my John Denver CDs and they clear the room every time!

I know you've chosen to take a week off. Something else to think about -- some of the behavior (guessing) may be the result of fatigue. Little kids get tired while learning the complex task of reading. Depending on how long the lessons take, you may try really short lessons for a while. Perhaps set a timer (or, even better, have her set it) for 5 or 7 minutes. Help her understand that she is expected to cooperate and work her hardest for those 5 minutes. Try to be specific about what you mean by working hard (i.e. focusing on the letters, looking at the page, listening to her teacher/mom, saying the letter sounds, etc.). She may feel better and ready to really working knowing how long the lesson will last. And it may be that those short, highly focused, cooperative lessons get better results than the longer lessons that she dreads and resists. Good luck!

She's little. Lots of little kids don't want to do reading lessons. Maybe they just want mom to read to them and they want to play and pretend to read and write. There is plenty of time, and she sounds like a bright little girl who will be a good reader! Consider taking a break. The battle over the lessons won't be worth it if she learns to fight reading lessons.

Glad they changed things up for him. I work with special needs kids in a developmental preschool, and the best information come from the parents. We are always glad to hear what's going on at home and happy to adjust accordingly. School is such an artificial environment -- the home stuff is the real thing. It's especially helpful to see videos of home behavior. Helps us really understand what the child is capable of!

Just the other night I was with a group of friends. All of our children attend public high schools. One girl was approached by a group of boys offering to sell her drugs. Of course, most of us saw that as Bad. But one dad said, "well, she's going to have to learn to deal with it some time!" ?!?!?!?!?!? Some people have really warped views of necessary socialization.

I have several long-time friends who are very dear to me. We see each other often and there is no conflict worth mentioning. Every Christmas we have a Christmas party -- just adults. Only 8 people, so not a huge party. I love to cook. I'm a very good cook. I love to host parties. They don't enjoy cooking. They rarely cook and stress out and complain when they have to. These are frozen pizza, taco-seasoning-in-an-envelope, boxed cake mix kinds of gals and I love them just the way they are. So, I offer to host the Christmas party. To me, that means I'll prepare the food and everyone can just come and enjoy themselves. I will enjoy planning and shopping and cooking and serving a yummy, festive meal to my dear lovely friends and their husbands. But no. They insist on bringing major parts of the meal. They say, "I'll bring a salad/appetizer/dessert." I say, "no, really, let me host -- I'd really enjoy it! It'll be fun for me!" But they won't relent. They say they'll feel "guilty." They don't want me to "go to all that trouble." It isn't trouble to me! It's a fun party! I know my food is good. I know they HATE cooking and resent bringing food. So why won't they let me host them? FWIW, I already gave in and am letting them bring food. It's not worth anyone's feelings being hurt. But why not just accept an invitation to a dinner party?

My son just read an Romeo and Juliet in his 9th grade public school lit class. They also read Night. :) My 8th grader's teacher just assigned Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry. The first week of school my 8th grader was reading the preamble to the Constitution. I'm pretty happy with those assignments.

My boys seem to feel sorry for the kids who act so badly at school. It's been interesting and kind of surprising to me that the worse behavior is at the middle school. My 8th grader was pretty shocked at the 'girl fights.' I don't think he knew that girls ever behaved that way. I'm glad he's shocked; I don't want my kids to think that kind of behavior is ho-hum. We knew the instruction could be excellent; my husband and I are both ps teachers. :) But we feel very lucky to have 11 out of 12 teachers this semester who are really impressive. Of course there are plenty of duds. We seem to have avoided many of them so far!

My kids went to public school this year. One is in 9th grade, the other 8th. They attend large, urban public schools. I just thought I'd share how it's gone for them...it may help someone make their decision. Academics: They are getting good grades -- As and Bs. I am very impressed with the quality of the instruction and work assigned, especially at the high school. They are both working hard for their grades -- school is NOT easy and the good grades are not just 'handed out' for showing up. Math has been the hardest for the 8th grader. It's just a different style of grading, and it's taking time for him to adjust. He's doing better all the time. Spanish is hardest for the 9th grader -- I had required very little memorization in our homeschool, so that is entirely new to him. Social: My kids have nice friends, and plenty of them. They are pretty happy to go to school most days. There are some terrible behavior problems at the middle school. A few fights in class, fights in the hallways, blatant disrespect of staff, foul language...I hear these stories from my son several times each week. Not happy with that. The high school has drug problems and a few kids in my son's classes brag about criminal behavior. Ugh. Main differences between my kids and their new peers: My kids know a lot of history. :) What I wish I'd done to prepare them: I wish I'd taught them some more organization. It took them a while to learn to keep track of paperwork, assignments, homework, etc. My new life: I am very happy to no longer be in charge of their schooling. I realize that I essentially had a full-time job as a homeschooling mom. I'm teaching part-time at a public school now, but I feel like I'm on vacation. I hadn't realized how much work hs was or how much time my non-hs friends had!

I suppose "put words in my mouth" was the wrong phrase. Apologies. You implied that I didn't realize different adoptees had different feelings. The OP asked for adoptees' feelings, and I provided mine (although I probably shouldn't have...). Learned my lesson about internet sharing. Bowing out of this.

You didn't offend me. You put words in my mouth. I was clarifying.

I'm confused. I didn't say she had no right to attempt to contact her birth mom. I would never try to stop someone from finding a birth parent. I don't believe I said I would. And of course all adoptees have different feelings about their adoption. I was simply sharing mine and the feelings of my siblings and in-laws. I didn't mean every adoptee should feel just like me. I thought the question was whether a random relative should provide all the information. Have I misunderstood the original question? I'll go back and re-read it. Just re-read. The OP is wondering whether she should divulge the information. My response as an adoptee is that no she should not, she should leave it up to the adoptee. It's the adoptee's decision, not hers.

Jumping back in here... My husband and I and all (but one) of our siblings were adopted as well. Not one of us has sought out a relationship with a birth parent. Not one of us has any info about our birth parents. We are happy and fine with our current families and give our adoptions very little thought. This is often very difficult for non-adoptees to believe. I have had people try to talk me out of feeling satisfied with my status quo. They are convinced that I need to find my birth mother. I don't need to find my birth mother. I love my mother and father who adopted me. I am deeply grateful to my birth mother for giving me life and pray that she is well and at peace with her decision. That's it. If someone were to suddenly decide what I need to know and spring that on me, ...., ...., I hardly know what to say! Who the heck has the right to do that? And then to toss in the rape conception?!?!? I generally do not become emotional on this board. But, wow, no, do not tell this woman anything. She is a grown woman and can pursue what she chooses to pursue when and if she chooses to pursue it. Well. I have now bared my soul on the internet. There's a first time for everything, I suppose.