Our plan has changed a bit as we have sorted out fall opportunities, so I'm writing a new revised post. I am leaving the old post, way up at the top of the thread, unedited in case that plan is useful to someone in the future. Honors Calculus (1 credit) - MIT OCW Biology (1 credit) - Several lab-based summer camps, plus home based and Great Courses Astronomy (1 credit) - Dual enrollment Ancient and Medieval World History (1 credit) - Build Your Library + Great Courses English 9 (1 credit) - Build Your Library + Lantern Mythology (0.5 credit) - Build Your Library + Great Courses Advanced Spanish Conversation and Composition (1 credit) - Private lessons + private tutor + home Education (0.5 credit) - Being an assistant teacher in immersion Spanish classes + some reading Art (1 credit) - So many classes: Creating Art through History + Graphic Design + Duct Tape Art + Free Choice Art + Comic book Drawing Game Theory (1 credit) - A logic/game theory/chess class + Great Courses and reading Robotics (0.5 credits) - Lego Mindstorm projects + Great Courses He also wants to try out Ultimate Frisbee

We have had limited success with therapy. By far the most useful therapy is my own. My therapist helps me cope with the situation. Other small benefits we have seen from the kids' therapy: - Having another outside adult to back up "unfair" parental expectations like no storing tubes of toothpaste under your pillow. - A medical professional interacting with the child to screen for depression/suicidal ideation. - A sounding board to help think through boundaries/routines/behavior charts/etc. - A medical professional who can reinforce my point of view to the psychiatrist. All of the kids' therapists have been surprisingly uninterested in actually teaching skills, so I have taken up this slack. There are a ton of materials on Teachers Pay Teachers and Amazon. Workbooks like the What to Do Guides. Teacher created materials to work on perspective taking, planning, time management, etc.

We also used Miracle Blankets. My most autistic, dysregulated baby had to be swaddled until 7 months. For our own sanity and sleep, we got very good at swaddling him in a way he could not break out...and he was a strong 22 pounds at that age!

There is a difference between never attempting it, and not attempting it quite yet. It has only been a few weeks, and even routine visits are still upsetting her. I would be very hesitant to dysregulate her unnecessarily when she doesn't currently have a place of stability to fall back on. My grandfather entered assisted living kicking and screaming only once the court granted my father guardianship. Gramps did not settle easily - trying to run away and calling 911 and the FBI so often that his phone privileges had to be revoked. The facility said to give it time...and they were right. Gramps never was happy there, and perhaps never even really accepted being there, but after several months he did adjust to the routine and fine stability there.

Three of my ADHD kids have tried several non-stimulant meds. On their own they do very little, though two of my kiddos do use them as supplements because they have maxed out the dosage of their stimulant meds.

Peter is an accelerated, pure math kind of kid...but AOPS also isn't for him. He has never taken any of the classes; here in Eastern Time they run from 7:30-9 PM, which would never work for him and his med schedule. He also does not deal well with time pressure, so rushing to solve problems and type in answers before the class moves on would be a deal breaker. But the books aren't a good fit either. He loves deep math and problem solving, but not the discovery method. So he happily uses the books and Alcumus for problem, but always wants to learn from a different source.

He would probably be ready for some of the grade 6 University of Waterloo Math Circle lessons and problems. Balance Benders are great.

When my kids were getting their ADHD meds through the pediatrician's office, the office made us jump through those hoops. We had to request a refill every 30 days and then physically go into the office, sign a form, get handed the paper prescription and take it to the pharmacy. At the time I was sticking with the pediatrician as the prescribing physician because I thought involving a psychiatrist would just mean more expensive visits. I was right, but the switch has definitely been worth it. The psychiatrist does want to see my kids every three months (the pediatrician only wanted to see them every 6 months for med checks), but the psychiatrist digitally sends in 90 day prescriptions for ADHD meds. This is so much more convenient...and realistically, we are often changing meds often enough that we are seeing him every 4 to 6 weeks anyway, so not being able to go 6 months between visits is a bit of a moot point.

My super mathy kiddos also use Foerster's for Algebra 1 and 2, along with playing on Alcumus to add a bit of AOPS challenge. I haven't found a Geometry book I like, but thankfully so far my kids haven't been very interested in geometry. So I have gotten away with James Tanton's Great Courses lectures: Geometry: An Interactive Journey to Mastery, plus more Alcumus. And next year my oldest is going to use MIT OCW Calculus.

Our virtual school is a very laid back, loosey goosey kind of organization. DS had already been a part time student in the organization for many years, so they knew him and me. When I registered him as a full time rising 8th grader, they just asked me what I wanted him to take. We did have to work around their typical high school sequence - 9th grade is physical science, so if he wanted to take a different high school science, he had to test out of that first. Yes, the physics exam was administered by the school. This is actually a virtual program offered by a local school district. DS had worked through a high school physics course at home in 7th, and at the end of the year I just took him to the school building where they gave him their Physics final exam. He passed with flying colors, but all they could give him was credit since he had not done labs with them or anything. That was fine with me, I just wanted to open up what he could take in 8th.

His official public school transcript now shows that he got A's in Pre-Calc, Honors American History, Honors Chemistry, Economics and US Government as an 8th grader. It also shows that he tested out of and got credit for Physics. (Normally I would not want Physics to just be for credit, but he plans to dual enroll Calc based Physics as a tenth grader, so testing out of physics made sense since it allowed him to take honors chem this year.)

Is this her first child, or does she have other littles that will have to be fed?

Next year is going to be a transition for us...HA, aren't they all!! My oldest was in virtual school this year for 8th grade, and HATED it. It was boring and a very shallow education, but ironically, because it is official public school, it put a lot of prestigious high school classes on his transcript and set him up to dual enroll next year as a 9th grader. So, next year he will be doing a very "spiky" course load, with really advanced math, Spanish, technology and astronomy (his passions) and mundane get'er'done other subjects: Honors Calculus (through MIT OCW) Biology (home made) Astronomy (DE) Ancient and Medieval World History (Build Your Library) English 9 (Build Your Library) Mythology (Build Your Library) Advanced Spanish Conversation and Composition (Tutoring and at home) Education (Building on his hours as a Spanish teaching assistant in younger classes) Art (mostly pottery and digital art) Robotics & Artificial Intelligence (Hands on classes) My rising 7th grader will be in the gifted and talented program at the public school again. My rising 5th grader is my musician, so to pay for all his lessons he will continue to participate in the virtual school. Thankfully, at his age they offer BookShark which I can deal with. I am putting both him and his younger sister in BookShark levels that will cover the first half of world history to keep all my homeschoolers in the same time period. He will also do ELA and science through BookShark. Math will officially be through the virtual school's high school option, Edmentum, because he is ready for algebra. But actually I am taking him through AOPS algebra, and he will be allowed to just test out of Edmentum algebra. For Spanish he will spend a day at our local homeschool Spanish immersion program. Then he will be taking two piano lessons, a violin lesson, and hopefully a music composition lesson each week. My youngest will be either a very old 2nd grader or a very young 3rd grader...with skills that range from 1st to 4th+ grade levels. She will be mostly in BookShark, plus the Spanish immersion class. She will probably be starting on a competitive gymnastics team next year which will be a big part of her schedule.

Spencer's competition season is coming to an end. A couple weeks ago he did his piano achievement testing and got the highest score in the level three years above his age. This morning he performed in the music teachers' forum competition and got first prize in the junior division that goes up through 6th grade. He played Béla Bartók's Dance in Bulgarian Rhythm #2 and won $50. (This is him playing the piece this afternoon.) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1i0FrtS3T-T7b88L10CmhtfYMOD11AVlD/view?usp=share_link

I also like the Math circle lessons and problems from the University of Waterloo as a way to go broad. Spend time thinking about math in very different ways.

Exactly. And as to the bolded, I would even amend it to "You can set guidelines for how you want your kids to address a future step-father." Because if you introduce him as Tom, and they passive aggressively call him "Czar Thomas" or "T-man" or "your husband", there really isn't much you can do. You can, of course, use carrots and sticks to try to encourage them to do what you want, but if they choose not to be swayed, it is largely out of your control. Trust me, Heart, I understand really, really wanting a child to stop a behavior. My 100 pound eleven year old regularly hits and kicks me and tries to throw furniture through the sliding glass door. But legally and ethically there is nothing I can do to stop him...so the only thing I can do is manage my own expectations and reactions. And if another adult in DS's life thought that they would just introduce the idea that they weren't comfortable with physical assault and that DS would just fall into line...well, I would think they were out of touch.

Just curious, but what is the alternative? You can't control what words/names come out of someone else's mouth, so how do you proceed if you aren't going to let the child choose what to call their step parent? Obviously you can "forbid" it, but that seems largely unenforceable. I don't have any experience with step parents, but I have a ton of experience having to choose my battles with oppositional, disaffected children. My mantra everyday is "don't take it personally". If I give even one hint that something bothers me, they will take that as their cue to exploit my weakness. So when a behavior upsets me, I first ask "Is this even within my control to change?", and if the answer to that is yes, then I ask "Is it important enough to me to strain our tenuous relationship?" If both answers are not firm yeses, then it is in my best interest to change my perception and expectations.

Lantern doesn't tell you what you have to do, but it gives very specific guidelines for you to follow if you are flailing. So, the lesson will, for example, give six different specific types of hook sentences along with examples of each. Your assignment is to make sure to use a hook sentence in your writing, but it doesn't have to follow any of their models if you can come up with your own idea. But if you are stuck, their examples are there as scaffolding. Over the years of my kids taking Lantern classes, I have compiled all those lists and guidelines into something of a writing flow chart. So, now my kids can just go step by step: Here's how to pick a topic, Here's how to narrow it into a thesis, Here's how to break your argument into paragraphs, etc. Granted, this does not lead to Pulitzer Prize winning essays, but it does get my kids writing solid, cohesive, organized essays without too much stress.

I agree that a ton of great concepts are taught in those types of videos; I just think they are a lot more subtly interwoven than in something like The Way Things Work. There are no bolded titles announcing that you are currently learning about Momentum or Electrical Insulators - it is much more whole-to-parts immersion in scientific concepts. Another similar channel that I like is Stuff Made Here.

For science read alouds, simple fact transmission has never been a particularly high priority for me. Obviously, I want the books to contain correct information, but I don't aim for comprehensive or "useful". Watching a video of Mark Rober engineering a squirrel obstacle course probably doesn't directly hit many of the middle school science content goals, but I think it instills much more important science ideas. I want my kids to appreciate that science is answering questions. That it is systematic trial and error. That it is thinking about and studying interactions. And most importantly, that science is something everyone can do in everyday life. So I tend toward "science" books that pull back the curtain and let kids see the process. All my kids LOVE Randall Monroe's books and the Horrible Science books. I read aloud a lot of books like The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, The Disappearing Spoon, Bomb: The Race to Build--and Steal--the World's Most Dangerous Weapon, How We Got to Now: Six Innovations That Made the Modern World, etc.

Is APUSH the only class the good teacher teaches? Could your son DE US History and plan to take a different class with the good teacher?

I think hoola hoops could definitely work. I would probably establish the rule first thing that the hoola hoops MUST stay on the floor until you blow the special whistle/flash the lights/etc and then everyone should immediately show off their best hoola hooping skills for 30 seconds...if that is something you have space for. I have also found stations to work well with kids on the edge of dysregulation. One clearly designated station per child with activities that can be completed for 2-3 minutes to keep everyone moving before they get bored.

Also be ready that this could backfire big time. For my ADHD kids, active, exuberant play is the hardest time for them to stay regulated. Their impulse control is already low, and when they start moving fast, they have even less time to process decisions. In a split second it goes from controlled, purposeful running, to a stupendous head-banging crash with a peer when they forget that they have to run around obstacles. Or something like parachute play starts with controlled movements, but when they feel the parachute “pull back”, it quickly escalates into tug of war before they can stop themselves. When my kids’ meds start wearing off, that is the time I plan the most structured activities, because when a child lacks internal regulation they need a lot more external regulation provided for them. Those are times I have everyone sit on spaced out towels so they have visual boundaries for their bodies and enough personal spaces that they can’t reach each other to poke and aggravate. I plan activities that can allow lots of fidgeting and movement, but not wildness…yoga, tapping and drumming, spinning tops, walking/jumping in place, tossing very light balls to each other while staying on their towels, cup stacking races, etc.

I think of learning information like a wave washing onto the beach. It starts shallow and gentle. The first time my kids encounter a concept, I introduce it at a grammar stage level, no matter how old the child is. We talk about definitions and vocabulary. For instance, I introduce perimeter when my kids are 5 or 6 at Christmas time when I am hanging lights around a window. We discover that a linear string of lights can be bent around a rectangle, and that if we take the lights back down we can measure how long of a line it takes to go "all the way around". Next it swells and gets deep. Once my kids are proficient at addition, they can go deep into the whys and hows of perimeter. They are ready to think logically about it to realize that rectangle perimeters can be found by adding two adjacent sides and doubling. They can be challenged to design the biggest enclosure that uses a set amount of fencing. Finally, the wave is mostly passed (and the child is deep in learning about a new topic), and the last remnant of the first wave is spend reviewing the concept at a deep "rhetoric" level as it can be tied into new learning. Long before I introduce pi, I challenge kids to find the perimeter of a circle and defend whatever (imperfect) method they use. Because rhetoric level math isn't doing really hard math that you have been taught, but solving problems using methods you have never been taught. So, my kids are working at all the levels at the same time in different topics. My 7 year old is still at the grammar level of writing strong, diverse sentences. She is at the logic stage of working with perimeter. And she is at the rhetoric stage of color mixing/theory, having learned the terminology, experimented with the whys and hows, and now fiercely defending her proposition that pink should be considered the third primary color and red simply a shade of pink rather than the other way around. 😄

I would also take the school's assessments of his skills and challenges with a grain of salt. - Maybe he is weak in "applied mathematics", or maybe they were asking him to apply mathematics to situations he couldn't relate to. - Maybe he is weak in reading comprehension, or maybe they were asking stupid questions about what color the character's shoes were instead of giving your son the opportunity to tell them about all the things he did comprehend in his reading. - Maybe he is weak in composition, or maybe their expectations were wildly age-inappropriate. - Maybe his social skills are weak, or maybe a classroom setting just isn't where his social skills shine, and he will do better in small groups for shorter times. I have four kids with severe ADHD and other special needs. They require a tremendous amount of accommodation - homeschooling them is a constant dance of research, experimentation, and tweaking. But, over the years, all of their traits that schools would have labeled as struggles and deficits, we have been able to turn into positives. They might not act or think or socialize like their neurotypical peers, but with time and support we've been able to help them find their own ways to thrive in the world.