MeanestMomInMidwest
-
Posts
1,556 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Classifieds
Store
Posts posted by MeanestMomInMidwest
-
-
I wasn't trying to be offensive with my statement. The particular post in question came from someone who is not American, hence my comment. I am sorry that it came across so badly!
I know plenty of people who married young, but most of them did not come from the perspective of families who assume their dc will go to college and have a career. Suburban was the wrong word - I don't know what word would describe it (I think middle class would have been enough.) And by middle class I didn't mean any particular income level but rather a mindset - our children will go to college, have a career, do better than we did, etc. By income, we are not middle class at all, but from a societal standpoint I am middle class due to education and background. A middle class parent assumes that their children will stay dependents until they finish college and maybe even grad school.
I would say that less people get married young now than even 10 years ago because a young couple can simply move in together and have children. I know *tons* of people who have done just that. They are 18-22, live with their SO in their own home, and have children. They just aren't married - it isn't a societal expectation anymore.
I think the only things that have changed in 100 years is that couples who get pregnant are no longer expected to marry, it isn't a scandal if a couple lives together without being married, and most people have access to and have no moral problem with artificial bc. The behavior hasn't changed in 100 years, just how it is viewed.
Of the people I know who married young, most did so because living together without marriage was not accepted in their belief system. My SIL's parents did not want her to marry at 19 - they asked her if she and my brother couldn't just live together for a few years first. It wasn't morally acceptable for my brother and SIL, so they married.
Okay, I understand... I also owe you an apology because I was a little quick to take umbrage. Sometimes I get frustrated because I experience many people who define the world by their limited experience. And yes, I realize the irony of me assuming you did that, based on my limited experience! :tongue_smilie:
-
It is the norm of today where I live.
Not in my circle of friends though. I don't actually have friends.
I'm sorry that you don't consider any of the number of people you know who obviously have at least young marriage age in common with you as friends. Unless you feel no loss at that fact, then to each his/her own.
-
I would say that it is more the norm than you think. It just isn't the norm for middle class, suburban America.
I think it is ridiculous to tell your teens/young adults "don't have premarital sex" at the same time you are telling them, "don't marry until you finish college and are settled in your career!" That is about a 10-15 year gap between physically ready and "life" ready.
Sorry. I stupidly assumed we were speaking of American culture. I guess we'll have to check the census records. And BTW, I am not in "middle class, suburban America." United States, but not suburban, and the definition of middle class is changing.
-
What age teen is everyone talking about?
I have always thought that 17 and above is a fine time to get married and have children. I was married at 18, and had children .
Nearly everyone I know( female, not male) was married from 18 up.
The first thing I thought when I read your post was, "What century do you live in?"
:001_smile:
But seriously, you realize that your experience and circle of friends is not the norm today, right?
-
Rosie - I get what you're saying and it made a lot of sense to me.
If I waited until I felt confirmed as a person, or really knew who I was and what I wanted to do with my life, I wouldn't have had sex until I was .... well until I was in my mid-30's.
I think you've hit on something with biology and society being out of synch.
-
This is actually one of those conditions that legalized marajuana would be the perfect treatment for. My grandmother's doctor recommended it to her way back in the 80s. He said if she didn't want to try that then have a glass of wine each night as that can also stimulate the appetite. When I lost 30 lbs after my mom died my doctor told me that they would put me on a med to gain weight if I didn't gain some in a certain amount of time. There aren't any meds that are specifically made for that purpose but there are a lot that have that as a side effect.
Marinol is a prescription drug used to treat nausea and vomiting in chemo patients and loss of appetite in certain groups of patients (including elderly). The active ingredient is synthetic THC.
-
I felt my tone matched the poster I was responding to. She was being straightforward' date=' so I was too.[/quote']
well, I'm not one to argue with feelings
-
Well that is certainly one way to look at it. However' date=' fallen though this world may be, teens are still made in the image of God, with the capacity for rational thinking and self-control. They are not rutting animals. Soooo...I choose not to take the blue pill in how I view my children's capacity for moral choice. You are welcome to teach your own as you see fit, though.[/quote']
I don't know what the blue pill is, but the condenscension in your post really doesn't seem necessary.
-
is she regular with bowel movements? As Joanne said, part of the aging process is the slowing down of bodily functions. This is why many older people are practically obsessed with their bowels. If they don't move (the bowels) the elderly person will end up feeling full. Infrequent bowel movements can also result in impaction and other issues. So, if you have the kind of relationship that allows you to talk with her about her bowel movements, I'd ask if she was regular. If not perhaps she needs something mild every day so she can have a BM every day.
Hernia may also be an option.
Instead of going to the ER, it would be better to make an appointment with her regular doctor, if she has one. If she doesn't have one, it is a good time to get one. An office visit will allow her to voice all her complaints and look for the small things, where an ER visit is focused on emergent, life threatening things and major things.
-
I don't know if I can post this or not... classics that are adapted for children have not been easy to find around here lately (library or bookstores). I don't know why. I want to expose my kids to great stories but the unadapted versions don't particularly hold their attention yet as we have to stop and explain, and stop and explain.
I saw $1 paperbacks at Target and $3 hardbacks at Michael's. I picked 6 up at Target (A Little Princess, Dr. Dolittle, Huck Finn, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Secret Garden), and will be making a trip out to Michael's to look more closely at their selection (I was impressed by titles like Red badge of Courage in large print with black and white illustrations). Both were in the back to school section so I don't think the stores regularly stock them.
I was excited to find them because they are relatively inexpensive, I don't need to pay shipping on them, or have to return them (library... speaking of libraries, even in the city, ours are not well stocked with adapted classics. So sad.)
But I'm a newb, so I'm easily excited.:D
I got some of those at my Target, too!
If you have a child who loves workbooks, Target is a good place to keep your eye on. They often have workbooks in their $1 section.
-
No, it's on a completely different level. Tampons and pads and breast self-exams [which are in question now too but that's another topic] are necessary for everyone regardless of level of sexual activity. Practicing putting on a condom is like practicing for that moment, you know? It goes way beyond reading a list of birth control devices and failure rates. If you are committed to abstinence before marriage, it puts your mind in someplace where it shouldn't be. It goes way beyond practicing proper condom use, to (for girls) a reaction to the erect member, imagining who it will be with and what it will be like, etc. No one should be forced to sit through those kinds of classes. (And they are forced to go through these classes now. I was, and it was terribly uncomfortable and not helpful.)
Sorry it took me so long to reply to you. I kind of see your point, but the vast majority of people are going to eventually have sexual intercourse, whether they have it before marriage or after. Information on sexuality and birth control is both appropriate and necessary for teenagers - even if the first time they have intercourse is on their wedding night.
I agree, though, that it may be embarrassing for teens to be instructed on this in a classroom setting. My advice to parents who themselves are too uncomfortable or embarrassed to instruct their teenagers on b/c would be to find a nurse practitioner or physician who would be willing to provide one-on-one instruction.
I also do not agree that b/c instruction of any sort puts a teen's mind someplace it shouldn't be. Hey, we've all been teens and should all be able to admit that our minds were already there! It is the rare teenager who doesn't think about sex.
I stand by my opinion that instruction about birth control is not gross. maybe we'll just have to agree to disagree on what we consider gross. :001_smile:
-
Interesting reading; thank you.
I also wanted to say how much I like your avatar. Speaks volumes, that famous photo.
astrid
thank you.
the photo in my avatar and others by Dorthea Lange almost make me cry if I look at them too long.
-
But keep in mind that those numbers aren't realistic for teens, who are more fertile and less conscientious and are going to therefore experience "birth control failure" (i.e. baby or abortion) a heck of a lot more often. I've read numbers more like 25%-30% for annual pregnancy rate of teens using condoms.
And how can you educate kids in how to use condoms, other than "read the instructions"? Bananas etc. are gross. Some things you just have to experience, kwim? There is going to be a learning curve, just like there is with anything else.
It is only "gross" if you make it gross. Instructions regarding condom usage are no more "gross" than instructions regarding tampons & pads, breast self-exam, etc.
-
Here's a great article I found on teen pregnancy in context of cultural paradigms.
great minds think alike, eh?
-
This article from the New Yorker details a study wherein the researcher discovered that while religion is a good indicator of sexual views, it is a poor indicator of sexual practices. Also found that evangelical teens are more likely to state their intention not to have premarital sex, yet are, in fact, more likely to engage in premarital sex. The author also discovered that evangelical teens were the least likely to use birth control.
It is a very long article and encompasses a great deal of information, if you have the time to read it.
Here are excerpts regarding what I referenced above:
"The vast majority of white evangelical adolescents—seventy-four per cent—say that they believe in abstaining from sex before marriage. (Only half of mainline Protestants, and a quarter of Jews, say that they believe in abstinence.) Moreover, among the major religious groups, evangelical virgins are the least likely to anticipate that sex will be pleasurable, and the most likely to believe that having sex will cause their partners to lose respect for them. (Jews most often cite pleasure as a reason to have sex, and say that an unplanned pregnancy would be an embarrassment.) But, according to Add Health data, evangelical teen-agers are more sexually active than Mormons, mainline Protestants, and Jews."
and
"Another key difference in behavior, Regnerus reports, is that evangelical Protestant teen-agers are significantly less likely than other groups to use contraception. This could be because evangelicals are also among the most likely to believe that using contraception will send the message that they are looking for sex. It could also be because many evangelicals are steeped in the abstinence movement’s warnings that condoms won’t actually protect them from pregnancy or venereal disease."
-
Wow, that's a long way away for me. I'm pretty sure the only thing I would be against is a young marriage.
-
I'd prefer mine not cooked. Sushi and crisp, dry white wine, please.
mmmm yes... Yellowtail sashimi
Or a salmon steak grilled rare with mango salsa and wild rice. Dh makes this from time to time. I'll have to ask him to make it soon.
-
See, I just don't get this. IF I am describing someone, wouldn't it be silly NOT to tell what color skin they have? And why is that insulting? I certainly might tell what color hair or eyes they have. I don't see anything wrong with using skin color to describe someone. Of course, I wouldn't point out skin color alone for no reason but in normal conversation, I think it's silly to avoid mentioning skin color just for fear of sounding racist.
I've got a new friend helping me in my barn. He's from Saudi Arabia. When I tell people about my barn help, the first thing I say is that he's "Arab" or "from Suadi Arabia" because he is. I do not describe most of the people I know as being "white" because I live in a tiny southern city that is 99% white, so that would be just obvious. But, if I lived in a very integrated area, I certainly might say, "She's a white girl." I just don't see the problem. We are avoiding skin color like it IS negative, when it really isn't. JMHO
What does his nationality have to do with anything, is the question I would ask. If I'm describing how a person *looks* I may add the nationality, or if I'm describing why I had a hard time understanding a coworker's accent (Nigerian), but not just, "I have a new employee, he's (Irish, Arab, Southern, Redheaded, tattooed, etc.)."
-
When you get through this you will be in a perfect place to encourage families to talk openly with their teens and pre-teens about sexual intercourse and the consequences, and to discuss birth control, because sometimes self-control is not enough.
I hope you realize very soon that YOUR life is not OVER. You just have a new family dynamic and a new perspective on good parenting.
-
Wasn't the goal of the original game to get married, have kids, and avoid the poorhouse?
-
Are you in the Midwest? I was shocked to discover what was considered "acceptable" when I moved here. Ten years later, I still reel. I still encounter that word (and not exclusively from elderly). I put on my innocent face and say, "colored? what do you mean? what color?" The speaker usually gets right away that they've used an unacceptable term (most of them know it is not generally acceptable, but think it will be okay since - ya know - everyone around them is white). Or, they figure I'm too stupid to continue talking to, which suites me fine.
When I first moved here I had to come home and ask my husband to explain some of the terms I overheard, because even though I'm sure there were racist people in my pre-Midwest life, I had never encountered some of the terms.
-
Oh, you should!
My friend is encouraging me to make a video for YouTube. We could add your verse...Sounds good!
Nah, you should. You have the talent. I can't make up songs without adding swear words :001_huh:
-
I can answer this for Kindle. You can bookmark in several places throughout a book. It will leave the book it is when you put it in sleep mode (same as if you put it face down and then picked it up later), but you can have several bookmarks and direct it to take you to any of them.
That's pretty much the same way it works for Nook, too. Once 2 or more bookmarks have been added to any one book, when reading the book, simply choose "go to" then "bookmark" and it will provide a list of bookmarked pages to skip to by choosing.
-
Wonderful! Your song illustrates perfectly why I need 2 bathrooms. One for the girls and one for the boys (I have two who have yet to hit teenage years. I could add a verse to your song about pee around the base of the toilet and toads in the sink. Once I came home to find a bass swimming in my bathtub - 'cuz they wanted me to see it)
But what about birth control?
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I'm not sure what you're saying here. Are you saying that your opinion is that teenage girls do not experience physical sexual pleasure (the big O)?