MeanestMomInMidwest
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Posts posted by MeanestMomInMidwest
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I use it as is. Works fine.
I did this once and my kids accused me of making "spaghetti pizza." Apparently there is a subtle difference that I cannot discern. :glare:
To the OP: I don't know what to do to it to make it less spaghetti-ish and more pizza-y, but I'll be :lurk5: to hear any suggestions.
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This post may or may not be helpful.
I have the Nook and am considering a second because my oldest keeps stealing it when I want to read (at night).
B&N Tech Support told me that as long as the new Nook was registered under the same e-mail address (same account) then they would have the exact same e-library. Now I'm not sure if I want to register with a separate account and just keep the kids resources on one and my personal stuff on another so he doesn't have to wade through all my titles to get to his. So the pondering continues....
I say may or may not be helpful, because it seems as if Kindle & Nook are neck in neck in doing things similarly. At any rate, a quick call to tech support should do the trick.
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In that case, you look ravishing today.;)
:D I am realizing what a spin-off we have gotten to. Whew!
Even online, it makes me smile. Thank you. I feel safe in assuming that you don't really want to ravish me, right? :tongue_smilie:
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If it is done laparoscopically your recovery shouldn't take more than a few days. Sometimes a lapchole can be done on an outpatient basis, and rarely requires more than one night in the hospital. Don't be afraid to take pain medication before the pain gets too bad post surgically because most pain meds work better on mild to moderate pain and not so well on severe pain.
Good luck.
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:001_huh: sure I'll ask how I look in an outfit.
I am not looking for perky adjectives.
A simple, "You look fine/good/nice/pretty." is sufficient.
Why would I give a care if she thinks I'm perky? If dh has a problem with my books, that's one thing. Everyone else's opinion on my perkiness is not even a bit important to me.
Well, see, if I ask MY husband how my new bra looks, he would reply "it would look much better on the floor." :lol:
I would ask a female friend for an objective opinion, and I am concerned with perky, as in I don't want my breasts to be at my bellybutton, nor do I want a bra that makes me look like Mrs Unibreast. And my friends know my bodily concerns so they would go farther than "nice, pretty, etc" and say, "It makes your waist look small" or "that color really makes your eyes pop."
We women spend a lot of time and effort tearing one another down. I am beyond happy that I have a small circle of girlfriends who build me up and compliment me on my appearance (not that this is the only area in which we build each other up, but it is the area of discussion in this post).
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No, the original poster to who I responded did..she was setting up 'happenstance situations' and asking if one never was turned on or stimulated in some way by it. My point is who asks how a new bra looks, apparently she was going for perky and such...not...'it covers you well, it looks like it will give you good back support..." in perky I was saying you're only asking for a response that is ultimately sex seeking...as I described.
No, not at all. We're over 40. Perky is not sexual. Perky is preferable to saggy. Pretending one is not concerned with outward appearances doesn't make it so. If I ask a friend how I look in a new outfit, I certainly don't want to hear "well rested" or "healthy."
I guess "sex seeking" is in the eye of the beholder. If one is constantly looking for sexual undertones one may find them where none is intended.
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Here is where the road divides...no one was berating your approach but you seemed to be incredulous to the fact that women do not interpret scenarios like you do. I have never and would never ask how my breasts look in anything. Would I choose your scenarios for my children? No, I do not encourage immodesty and pretty much all the scenarios you described were attaching a sexual tone to some of the most innocent actions. So in my view you're giving sexuality a higher value than modesty. Just because I choose to put different values elsewhere does not mean subjugation of anything..in my view it is raising women to a higher status..again 'far above rubies'...so for me and my family, modesty wins out over 'denying our sexuality' as you put it..but in fact, I put great value on sexuality that is why I preferred to save it for one person, it is a gift that no one else has been given and I do it out of love for my partner...
I see it as a precious gift...for me, giving it to others and putting a physical desire first diminishes the gift...that is not berating your approach but trying to explain how we can both disagree on this issue and not be shocked that others do not believe the way we do.
Tara
It seems as if you interpreted my post as accusing you of berating, which I did not intend. I apologize if my post was poorly worded enough to cause offense. My intention was simply to provide another POV in which women can be casual and intimate without sexual undertones.
I do, however stand my by last statement. And I add this: Why is locker room nakedness/horseplay acceptable among men but not women?
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No, it's not part of sexuality, BUT realizing that these things *lead* to sexual feelings is part of educating our dc, imo, whether we choose to teach abstinence or not. Being able to see the difference between physical attraction & "relationship" (based on the internal stuff) can help people (incl teens) to be...more in control of their feelings.
If I were to go watch a movie w/ some guy & share a blanket, I absolutely know that there could be attraction. But I love my dh, so I count doing something like that as STUPID.
It doesn't have to be just physical, either, though. Content of conversation, etc. contributes to attraction.
Are you of the mind that a man and woman cannot share an intimate friendship without it eventually turning into something sexual?
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No to all of these except the tent thing, but I was climbing a 14k mountain and at treeline it was pretty darn cold...we were both in 0 rated sleeping bags...so not at all what you're describing....
The issue I have with all of your scenarios is that it leaves out modesty..I would never tell someone how 'hot' they are because I do not think in those terms...that is what our culture wants you to say to 'sell' ya something or appeal to your basest physical drives...I think we're above being animals...most of the scenarios you point to above do not put modesty on a high pedestal...I do...'far above rubies' is where I'm going...so while many in this society may be stimulated by wet t-shirt contests, choose to go skinny dipping, misconstrue a sympathetic hug as a sensual moment...their mind is not where mine is...if I'm hugging someone out of care/concern I do not think 'how hot this person is'..it just never enters my mind...it goes back to what we are aroused by..to turn me on means a loving/giving/selfless person who runs out to the store to get binder clips when I'm in a need, calls and asks if I need anything while he's out, rubs my back when he knows I've had a rough day...it's not the wet t-shirt...it's what's inside and behind their actions...
Tara
I have told female friends they're "hot." I have also had a female friend ask "how do my breasts look in this new Victoria's Secret bra?" to which I have replied, "very perky! Nice!" Nothing sexual about it.
Of course, I would never berate someone for being extremely modest (even though I don't understand it), just as I would expect that nobody would berate me for my casualness with my dear female friends, which in the context of our relationship elevates our womanhood and cements our friendship. I'm pretty sure there are many would will disagree with me on this point, but I think some of the ultra-modesty stuff goes hand in hand with denying our sexuality, and is part of subjugating women.
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My dh would love a night in the house alone with me. Can you arrange to send the kids somewhere overnight after dinner?
Or, if $$ are adequate, a night in a local hotel. My dh would also love this because not only would he get unrestricted access to me (hint, hint), but after that "unrestricted access" he'd get to watch cable TV, which we don't have at home!
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And I justify our slovenliness with this study:
Untidy Beds May Keep Us Healthy
Failing to make your bed in the morning may actually help keep you healthy, scientists believe.Research suggests that while an unmade bed may look scruffy it is also unappealing to house dust mites thought to cause asthma and other allergies.
A Kingston University study discovered the bugs cannot survive in the warm, dry conditions found in an unmade bed.
The average bed could be home to up to 1.5 million house dust mites.The bugs, which are less than a millimetre long, feed on scales of human skin and produce allergens which are easily inhaled during sleep.
The warm, damp conditions created in an occupied bed are ideal for the creatures, but they are less likely to thrive when moisture is in shorter supply.
Somewhere there are a bunch of slovenly scientists coming up with these experiments to get out of cleaning. Good on them! Now I can justify not making beds the same way I justify not having a spotless house (dirt builds a child's immunity). Now if only they could design a study that proves some benefit to leaving dishes in the sink overnight!
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We go tent camping and have gone every year since we've been married (even w/ babies or being preggo). We all love it. We go in Spring, Summer, and fall. We've never tried winter tent camping...
Us too! Although I will confess here that I only pretend to love it... I don't exactly loath it (because dh does all the work and I usually get a few hours each day to myself), but when I say I love it, I'm really just lying to keep my family happy. I would prefer a cabin.
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The only time I slept on a Sleep Number bed was at a hotel. Worst night's sleep of my life. I woke up feeling as if somebody had been hitting me with a rubber mallet all night. Dh, on the other hand loves to sleep at a hotel with Sleep Number bed.
I love my Tempurpedic bed. I think it is the most expensive piece of furniture in the house, but I consider it money well spent. I laid on it for (literally) about 30 minutes before buying it. I also took into consideration that every other mattress we've ever purchased has been replaced with a supposedly better brand five or fewer years after buying it.
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you could lay something down before you put food on your counter to give yourself peace of mind, but I doubt any residual insecticide will affect you since you've cleaned the counter-tops.
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"I think it is ridiculous to tell your teens/young adults "don't have premarital sex" at the same time you are telling them, "don't marry until you finish college and are settled in your career!" That is about a 10-15 year gap between physically ready and "life" ready."
That's pretty much where I come down on it - and what I would choose, if I got to make this choice on my children's behalf, is a few premarital sexual relationships with all their attendant joys and heartaches, followed by a choice of life partner made when they are fully prepared for their profession/vocation, ready to leave off being a dependant in my household and establish a household of their own, and hopefully gearing themselves up for some purposeful procreation.
Sex is a great pleasure. Unintended pregnancy and exposure to STDs are hazards to guard against. A+B=BC in this family. It sounds from that study Rosie linked to like we're pretty typical Jews. ;)
This is a really interesting thread. I think there's a valid argument to be made for almost any POV on this issue - which probably means that there's a sound parenting strategy to be employed in service of almost any POV.
One exception - giving a kid a condom put on their penis is like giving them a silencer to put on their gun? Having sex is an equivalent transgression to committing murder? What Bible are you reading? :confused: No matter how much a family may advocate for abstinence, I don't see that there's much Scriptural support for equating consensual fornication between unwed young people with the taking of a human life in terms of the damage done either to the individuals or the community. The end result of sex, after all, is a new life - and that is only a POSSIBLE consequence of sex. I shudder at the notion of teaching a child that sexual impurity is a sin of the same kind or degree as commiting murder. That's a heavy load for young shoulders - especially if your creed teaches that masturbation is also a form of sexual impurity. I can think of no better way to condition an adolescent to believe that they are bad, weak, selfish, dirty, unworthy... you get the point. Believe what you want to about abstinence, but keep your mortal and venial sins a bit distinct, YKWIM? As C.S. Lewis said, the sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the least bad of all sins.
Nicely put. Thank you.
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I picked 'refused to move w/no explanation'.
then I would have looked confused and said,
"par Ruuskie?" I've been known to do that on rare occasions, odds of stumbling into someone who speaks Russian is usually low...
:lol:
I remember a movie scene (forget the movie) where somebody stopped to ask directions and the person said, "no habla Englise" (forgive my Spanish misspellings), when the direction-asker rephrased the question in Spanish, the person said, "Hey man, I don't speak Spanish either"
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Cain murdered Abel in the Bible and God surely didn't approve of that. David basically had Bathsheba's husband killed so he could marry her and God didn't approve of that. The fact that it has the written history of the nation of Israel does not mean that it isn't inspired.
I can't think of one situation in the Bible that portrayed polygamy in a positive light.
I will agree with your first point. As for the second: Can you think of one where polygamy is expressly forbidden?
I find it interesting that the NT is essentially mute on the topic of multiple wives (polygamy). In fact, Matthew 22:23-32 indicates that Jesus supported the idea of a childless widow marrying her dead husband's brother in order to provide the dead man with heirs. It does not state, "unless the brother already has a wife."
Also, in Timothy, church leaders are counseled to have only one wife in order to more fully dedicate themselves to service of the church, but this advice is not extended to the body of believers.
Surely, if the Bible is the word of God, with instructions on how to live one's life and multiple partners is such a grievous sin, it would be strictly prohibited? Or at least mentioned with as much admonition as worshiping false idols, wearing clothes made of two different fabrics, eating shellfish, and women speaking up in church.
Renee in FL wrote: "I can't think of one situation in the Bible that portrayed polygamy in a positive light."
As far as polygamy ending badly for those in the OT who practiced it, 1 Kings 11 seems to indicate that it was not Soloman's polygamy that led to disaster, but the marrying of wives outside the tribe of Isreal. The writer does not caution against having multiple wives and concubines, rather cautions against marrying pagan idol worshipers because these wives will cause the husband's heart to turn after the foreign gods.
And what about Deuteronmy 21 that talks about what a man should do if he marries 2 women, but only loves one. No admonition against having more than 1 wife, simply how to handle multiple wives.
Sorry to sidetrack this thread.
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we throw the covers up so the cat doesn't end up walking on the sheets, but only "make the beds" when sheets get changed or a visit from MIL is imminent
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Who is saying God was happy about it?
Adam = 1 wife
Noah = 1 wife
Moses = 1 wife
Abraham = 1 wife until his wife got him another woman for the sake of having an heir.
So no not all the patriarchs had multiple partners and not all did so bc God or Gods law demanded that of them.
And it should be noted the women always were intended for 1 partner.
I would propose that the bible is not just Gods word, it is also the written history of a people and some of this people did things extra biblically.:)
Well, that sound like a book written by men for men. Men are allowed to have multiple wives and concubines, but each woman may only have one man. :glare:
And I'm no expert, but I wonder about how one can assert that people who's actions only appear recorded *in the Bible* can be acting "extra biblically." If it's in the Bible, how can that be "extra biblical?" Or does extra biblical mean something other than "not in the Bible?"
I propose that you can't have it both ways. The Bible is either a holy book, God's word as written by men through the inspiration of the Holy spirit, or it is simply a collection of stories which includes the written history of a people.
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I didn't word that very well. I read an article a few years back in Reader's Digest about throat cancer. Here is an excerpt:
Entire article here: http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/oral-cancer-caused-by-hpv/article86868.html
My point was that these alternatives had been promoted as safer than sex, fun, harmless, no possibility of pregnancy, etc.
Well, that's the STD, not the sexual position. This is why condoms are recommended for oral sex. condoms are also recommended for anal sex. Oral sex is "safer" if the concern is pregnancy. Any method where bodily fluids are being exchanged should include a barrier method as a precaution against STDs.
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I haven't read all the pages but I can answer the original question.
You're focusing on the parts not the whole. I'll try and give an example...take a car for instance...are we telling them how to change the oil and what will happens if we don't? Are we telling them what kind of oil to use? Full synthetic? Half? 10W-30? Do they know the consequences? I think the whole side of it should be "Are we teaching them how to drive?" Do our kids not learn from us at day one? Every step along the way we have been an instructor/encourager/nurturer...it never stops.
The difference with me is that I focus on being a good driver and as points come up while I'm driving, I explain them...you don't need to change the oil as often if you use full synthetic, if you keep your tires to the right pressure you'll save in the long run, if you have God as your navigator and trust where He's taking you...you won't go down the wrong road and get lost...
To me it is clear that God designed our bodies to be with one partner...std's, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, emotional detachment comes from having multiple partners....so I raise my children to know that God has picked out the perfect partner for them...I ask them to pray for him/her even now as I do. All along I teach them what comes from putting pleasure first (obesity, laziness, too much video game play time, etc) and I let them know when we fail at these there is always a way to make it better. It's the same with sex....then ultimately it's up to them, their relationship with God, and their priorities to carry them through. It is my role to grow their skills/ambitions/nurture their heart for God so that their focus will not be self but serving. It's a utopian idealistic place to be...I'm teaching them how to drive in life...we've also read so many books aloud and discussed many issues that have come about because of seeking self...in short, don't have sex unless you are ready and want a baby. All three of mine were under multiple bc methods...luckily we were ready.
If this is true (that God designed our bodies to have one partner) then why did all the patriarchs in the OT have multiple partners?
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The Depo shot is most effective on women of average weight and height. Under or over average reduces efficacy.
Just thought I'd throw that in there.
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Probably not with your average teenage lover. Just guessing here.
well, that certainly makes sense....but I do think teenage girls are interested in sex, even if they don't experience pleasure from the act, they surely know pleasure is just around the corner and keep seeking it?
I mean, I totally understand the whole "girls use sex to get love" and "guys promise love to get sex" aspect of this issue. But aren't the average teenage girls just as horny (am I allowed to say that word) as teenage boys, just not as able to find release?
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My local town is overrun with tourists at the moment, visiting for a big international event. I was lucky to find a place to park when I took 'Calvin' to an activity this evening. As I pulled into a parking space in the small car park, two men walked up, and one started gesturing for me to adjust sideways, parking further away from his car. I checked that I was central in the spot and stopped.
His car was enormous - a vast, shiny SUV - but mine is a Ford Focus hatchback, so there was lots of space around me. Once I was parked, he gestured to me again, so I got out to talk to him. He asked me, brusquely, to get out of the parking space to give him more space to pull out, then I could repark when he was gone. He was clearly a tourist and not British.
Looking back, I can see a few options: comply graciously, taking pity on a poor visitor who had lumbered himself with a car that was just unsuitable for a medieval British town; comply silently and ungraciously; comply but put him right on his arrogant attitude and ludicrous car choice; refuse to move with no explanation; refuse to move, explaining that if he wanted to drive a tank he needed to sort out for himself how to handle it.
What would you have done? My view has definitely been soured by this guy's attitude, and by an incident two days ago when a tourist in an Audi overtook my car in the middle of town, riding straight over a central island to do it and cutting in front of me as I was about to go onto a roundabout, all while I had both boys in the back of the car.
Laura
Well, the way I feel right now (long night of work, very little sleep today) I would refuse to move and give him some not so friendly advice about his choice of vehicles. Or maybe I would have offered to show him how to un-park a car. So,that's the choice I selected.
I seriously know myself enough to know that I would not be able to keep my mouth shut in a situation such as you have described, but I hope (HOPE!) I would not use curse words, refer to his obviously poor genetic lineage, or comment on his propensity to compensate for certain deficiencies with an excessively large vehicle.
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Me too! Thanks!