[Free Range Parenting Legalized in Utah]

Yeah, the whole rear facing until 2-year-old movement made me wonder who these compliant, tiny kids were who could rear face that long and not have their knees folded up to their chins.

Science played a part.

[Splurges that don’t seem as wasteful as before.]

Good espresso. Every day. It makes my heart happy. A cappuccino a day keeps the grumpy mommy away.

 

 

This.

 

And

 

Tea

 

High quality spices.

 

I have socks that cost more per pair than I care to admit but not dealing with raynaud's in my feet is worth it.

 

Shoes that fit my feet. This has become harder and harder with the gel insoles and shoe technology etc that make almost all brands of sneakers impossible for me to wear without extreme pain. Actually, I think this is more a splurge for my husband so he does not have to listen to my rantings about shoe manufactures.

 

Sheets from this website: https://www.bedgear.com/shop/performance-sheets-and-blankets.html

 

Massage and chiropractic care to manage my physical pain for an injury I sustained while moving. If I ever move again I will splurge on professional movers.

[Asking young adults to contribute to household]

Different situation. After extensive testing the results are that they have no disabilities.

 

We did not charge the adult step-children rent because like you I am not a fan of the idea of it. I am not sure how well that worked though, they did not look for a job or partake in job training, college, volunteering, or do anything outside of staring at screens.

 

What we did was slowly increasing the things they had to pay for (cell phone, medical, etc) did not help motivate them. I stopped buying foods they would eat, which was easy as they would not put forth any effort to cook or prepare food. For example, instead of buying preshredded cheese and cooked flour tortillas I bought a block of cheese and uncooked flour tortillas. We stopped driving them places. We stopped waiting and found places for them to apply and made them go.

 

No jobs but they found someone else to pay for them to have a place to live and to buy them food.

[Cooking question...Parchment circles for baking pans]

I do not cut my parchment paper, I let all the edges hang over the side. I did not even know it was a thing.

[How much would you pay for solar panels]

$40k seems very high, compared to two other locations that we have priced out panels for. Have you checked competitors for additional bids?

 

Panel technology is changing fairly rapidly and if storage banks become available soon, as Elon Musk says they will, I would hold out a bit longer to take that into consideration of your configuration.

 

I would also put on a new roof before I put on panels....

All of this and adding in to look at the website for Tesla solar roofs. We have talked to them and they felt they would be everywhere within 5 years and the deposit is 100% refundable if something happens.

[Appropriate gift for my friend's mother (my friend died)]

My recommendation is a letter detailing your favorite memories with your friend and any pictures you have of her..

This!!

[I just wanna do what I wanna do in my own house (sigh, whine)]

Don't play rummy. Just don't. I don't play games with DH's relatives when they come to visit; it annoys me so I don't do it. I beg off with some random excuse (oh, sorry, can't, have to do the laundry!). Give her your car keys at let her take herself wherever. Tell her DS will be sleeping on her bedroom floor from now on, as you're having trouble sleeping.

 

The DH I can't help you with.

Hmm, you must be nicer than I am, I would politely decline rummy and invite her to play the most complex game in my personal collection. Currently that would be Mage Knight with the two rules books and fairly steep learning curve for non gamers. It takes up the entre table to play, has a solo player mode, and if the person does not know the game they will have no clue what the objectives are or if/when they have been completed so the game can stretch for days and days. If that did not work I would start a Descent 2.0 (with all expansions) campaign and claim it cannot be stopped until every possible scenerio has been completed or I would borrow Diplomacy or the massive Axis and Allies with expansions.

[Paying monthly bills with credit card]

I think unless you have lots of expenses you are not going to earn enough rewards to pay for a vacation by just using one card. We hack so we are opening new cards to get the spends on those.

 

The CSR had a 100,000 point on 4k spend. Dh and I both got one. Spend 8k and got 200,000

 

We both got the United cards for 70,000 points after 4k or 3k spend. So that got us 140,000 united points.

 

Some cards you can get 60,000 points by putting one purchase and paying the AF. We just did American Airlines card that got did that, so now we have 120,000 American Airline points.

 

 

We use our rewards to pay for my international travel addiction.

Please teach me! I do some things already and have been able to cover domestic trips, but I am always open to other options. I know if I signed up for an instant cash back program and bought gift cards at stores I shop at I could gain more which is awesome, except I do not shop. Those I knew who were doing it and making the most shopped competitively.

 

We are minimalists and I cannot tell you the last time I set foot inside a big box store except to buy dairy products. Even our groceries are not bought through chain grocery stores. Except the dairy, then it is Costco.

[Paying monthly bills with credit card]

I know there are at least three bills where this would not be allowed for us. I'm surprised they are able to pay ALL of them this way.

I wonder as well. We pay as much as possible with the credit card and then pay it off. I specifically asked if I could put the mortgage on a credit card and I was told it was not allowed. Same with insurance and something else I did not care enough about to spare the braincells to remember.

[Talk to me about living in Florida...]

Lexi, you are in Oklahoma, right?

 

I grew up in OK and now live in the Kansas City area. If you are looking for a change, I want to suggest it. Great place to live.

Great BBQ!! I need to get to Joe's again. Last year we discovered Burnt End Reuben's.

 

I love Des Moines, it stole my heart years ago and is a great place and it is just a day trip to get Joe's.

[Talk to me about living in Florida...]

I am not from Florida. I have never lived in Florida. The closest I came was when DH's employer was looking to move his job there. I visit Florida fairly often, more so than any other place. I have learned a few things, most important, there is no relief for those who suffer from enviromental allergies. I sneezed my way to a pharamcy on our trip in January when Florida was in the midst of a cold spell.

["It almost never works out well" comment on 2nd marriages with kids]

I am looking at my experience as a step mom and the hell I have gone through and am only starting to emerge from and I have to wonder what part mental illness plays in a successful blended family.

 

My son had almost no trouble blending families.

 

My step kids were adults when we blended, and by the accepted timeline of our society they should have long been independent and working full time with college behind them. That was not the case, both have significant mental illness and addiction issues. It was stepmom hell. No matter what I did, it did not matter. All the time and labor I put in to helping them fix major financial issues, or getting them jobs handed to them, or patiently explaining basic things that are preschool level life skills, it did not matter because mental illness.

 

Now that they do not live here they have started treating other people as poorly as they did DS and I and crying to others about how horrible their family treats them and how we all hate them. This is not a result of blending families, this is a result of mental illness and addiction. It is very sad to watch young people with potential self destruct, but they would have even if DH had stayed single or if DH and his ex stayed married.

 

And I am sad. This is not what is common in my family and social circle.

["It almost never works out well" comment on 2nd marriages with kids]

I think it's important to distinguish between the two things. Adoptive parenting is different that bio-parenting, even in households where both are happening at the same time. That's separate from loving your bio and adopted kids the same; it's absolutely possible to love them the same. Better to avoid putting the two things in the same sentence.

 

And as much as step-parent swear it's true they love their step-kids the same as their bio-kids, I've never once seen any make the long term effort to maintain as much of a relationship as possible when they get divorced. You may not have the legal means, but I've never seen one even try when the divorce was relatively amicable or when the step-kid turned 18 and could decide for themselves. So I don't really believe it.

I have seen a divorce where the step parent kept in touch with their former step kids.

[Billy Graham has died]

An interesting read. Sutton appears to assume to know what God's stance is on environmental issues.

You missed the point then.

[Billy Graham has died]

Another point of view of the legacy of Billy Graham

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/feb/21/billy-graham-wrong-side-history

[Billy Graham has died]

Who has done the same thing? I can't thin of anyone who has had the number of crusades with the numbers of people attending them.

 

I am not going to excuse things he has done, but I do want to know what you are talking about with the OTHER stuff he hasn't denounced?????

 

He preaches the gospel of the Bible, which is to repent for sin and turn to Jesus, who died for those sins. If you find that offensive and harmful, I don't think your beef is with him.

 

I in no way find him infallible. Not at all.

https://m.clclt.com/theclog/archives/2018/02/21/billy-grahams-other-legacy

[Billy Graham has died]

When did I say he was “awesome?†:confused:

 

I never said anything of the kind. If you read my posts, you will see that I specifically said that I know very little about Franklin Graham and that I probably wouldn’t agree with his political views, but I thought I had heard about him having started charitable organizations, so I was wondering about that.

 

It’s pretty clear that you detest both the late Billy Graham and his son. That’s fine. But others of us may be open to the idea that just because we strenuously disagree with people’s stances on some very important issues, we may still be able to appreciate the good work they do in other areas of their lives. It doesn’t necessarily have to be all-or-nothing.

 

Thank you for the link, though. I will check it out.

All or nothing? They were nothing but hate mongerers who put on a show around and for specific people to promote an agenda which is/was little more than hate painted pretty.

 

No amount of good deeds can offset the legacy of hatred that Bily Graham pepertarted and his son continues. He used his position to spread misinformation and fear to further his own agenda at the expense of other people. His actions and resulting ripples that can still be felt today needs to be remembered, putting him on a pedestal is doing a disservice to those who bore the brunt of his hatred.

[Billy Graham has died]

:iagree:

 

And forgive me if I’m misinformed about this, but didn’t his son start a few highly regarded charitable organizations? I’m almost positive that I wouldn’t agree with the son’s political views, but I don’t want to vilify him if he has done a lot of good things to help people.

Starting charitable organizations does not make a person awesome.

 

https://www.glaad.org/cap/franklin-graham

[Narcissist/estranged mother left a message on my machine]

I prefer: don't engage with the illness.

I will acknowledge that your phrasing gives a clearly defined line between the person and their illness and is progressive and can help reduce the stigma associated with mental illness and I applaud you for your ability to do so.

 

I am not there. I will still use the line "don't engage the crazy" as a reminder to myself of what I have endured and a warning to run far, far away because no matter what, it is a trap.

[Narcissist/estranged mother left a message on my machine]

That sucks.

 

 

And you have an answering machine?! Wow!

[Billy Graham has died]

Honestly, I hope the seeds of hatred he sowed die with him. But as said above, our society has a taboo about speaking ill, even if it is true, of the dead and the number of people singing his praise while ignoring his faults and the lasting negative impact his of words and will continue to have bothers me to know end.

[Are energy drinks OK for your teens?]

I do not buy them. My son does not like sugary drinks and is too cheap to buy them himself.

[s/o Death by diet....How do we stop it?]

Well I might as well admit it. We were child abusers. Often. My lads scoffed when a fellow geocacher said a cache was a LONG distance from parking once and when they asked, he said "a mile." We were so terrible that a mile was a really short distance in our vocabulary.

 

We abused them so much and so often that we created a cycle. They now take their friends out for similar abuse in various parks - even posting pics on FB and similar.

I guess I am still a child abuser. My poor son, I even make him walk almost a mile to take his dog to the dog park rather than driving him and the dog.

[s/o Death by diet....How do we stop it?]

I've really enjoyed reading everyone's various points, I've ran out of likes.

 

This convo made me think of my husband's work, they have employed the carrot approach. If we pass health exams (that have generous allowances) we get money in our HSA, $400 for me and $800 for him. Local gyms are subsidized by his work, as long as you go 8x a month.

 

 

I would be all over subsidized gym memberships if we could pick facilities. DH's work offers only one gym and it is lacking in everyway except the price, even with discounts. Sigh. I wish they would subsize sneakers for DH to walk to work, or a bike to commute with, those would be used more. Or even give a monthly allowence to be spent on general fitness so we could hire a personal trainer who works in one of the parks using public facilities.

[s/o Death by diet....How do we stop it?]

What are you suggesting it says? My dh works downtown and walks right by some rather iffy streets everyday. He says that his women co-workers aren't thrilled about this location either. So he's lying, or what? You think a 6'1" large man trained in martial arts is afraid of his shadow?

 

When is the last time you walked alone in the downtown streets of a major city at night?

I was walking around the streets in the heart if downtown in a major city this evening at 11:30pm. I guess it is technically, yesterday now. I was within a few blocks of an alley where a significant amount of drug sales happen, and I have frequently walked right past said alley. I usually am out after midnight when I run (downtown) which is 3-4 times a week when the weather permits. Never had a problem.

 

Late one night I had a horrible stomache ache so I grabbed a bus to a convience store for a 7-up. I ended up leaving right before a man and when he realized we were both headed the same way he announced himself and said he was going to the bus stop and sped up to go around me so I would not feel as though he was following me.