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Angel in FL

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Posts posted by Angel in FL

    Have any of you bought the 8th grade Timberdoodle elite kit?

    in K-8 Curriculum Board

    Posted · Edited by Angel in FL

    I'm looking for things for my daughter for 8th grade.  We've done classical-ish in the past.  This year we switched to Wilostar3D, an online 3d virtual school.  It honestly hasn't been good.  So, I'm regrouping for next year.  I'm considering the Timberdoodle kit.  I like the looks of it, the hands-on aspects and the fact that they include the SWB writing book.  I'd love to hear what you thought if you've used it.

    9 year old with ASD and anxiety…. long, sorry

    in The Learning Challenges Board

    Posted

    I do appreciate all the conversation and understanding how we all approach things with our kids. I don't really feel that I have to defend myself but I do want to make sure that there wasn't a misunderstanding. My daughter has done cheer for 5 years and has always enjoyed it. She's had her frustrating moments but we all do. Her move to this gym was to try to give her an age appropriate gym for her skill level instead of an older team at her original gym. The new gym was just way intense in the way of conditioning, and a lot of kids can handle that. My daughter couldn't.  Her old gym was intense but in a different way.  She did fine with that. We've known she's had issues and have been working on those for a while. The issues just spiked at the new gym.

    Would it have happened anywhere else at this time? Maybe... The doctors say that she's at the age where anxiety peaks. Who knows. If we had left her at her old gym, she may have been fine. Or it may just have exploded at another time. Still not sure on the school front.

    But... The situation didn't go on long and yes, I did try to let her work through it for a few weeks because that's what the dr said we should do. Was it heartbreaking? Yes. But all of those weeks weren't that bad and she did well some of the time. When it escalated, I took her out.

    For school, it baffles me because she has loved school since she started in mid 2nd grade. I guess it all hit the fan at the same time. The school could have been better to her/us but they weren't. Maybe I was fried and should have given it more time there to work out but she was in a state and I went into protective mode there too.

    I guess I just didn't want you all to think that she was pushed for a long time to do something she didn't want to do. As a matter of fact, she says she still wants to cheer as well as go to school. That's what she told the psychologist. So, if and when she's ready we will approach both of those things at whatever pace she wants, with the doctor's guidance.

    Until then, she is home, calm and safe.

     

    Edited to add… if I had my way, she would have been a dancer.  lol.  That's what I wanted!!

    • Like 3

    9 year old with ASD and anxiety…. long, sorry

    in The Learning Challenges Board

    Posted

    I hope your session with the new psychologist was promising. At the beginning of this school year, DD10 was having screaming and crying fits nightly. It was her first year in school with dyslexia, and she reacted in an extreme way when she got her first failing grades and saw her disability written in red all across her papers. She had always been a trooper through the difficult years of learning to read. While homeschooling, she had maintained an image of herself as "smart." And then it was shattered. It was horrible. Worse than I expected. We were able to help her manage her emotions and worked with the school, and she's doing better now, though we still have some struggles.

     

    Anyway, DD's situation was minor compared to what you are going through with your daughter, but I wanted to tell you that I empathize with you. I know it's hard, but I also believe there is hope. 

     

    :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

     

    It was definitely promising, thanks!  He was a great listener, sounded very promising and my daughter responded really well.  We start regular sessions next week, I am hopeful she will be over the bulk of her anxiety before too long.  Now, I am not expecting miracles immediately, but he did have good things to say and I'm hoping it won't be a long time.  As of now, she is feeling safe and calm without school and that gym in the picture.  Once she has learned some coping skills, we will begin to see what she can apply them to and move forward.

     

    Thanks again, and I'm glad your daughter is doing better. :)

    • Like 2

    9 year old with ASD and anxiety…. long, sorry

    in The Learning Challenges Board

    Posted

    Angel, you did what you felt was best for your child! When going through what you and your girl experienced, it's really hard to know what the best way to react is. I noticed you mentioned that some girls were almost throwing up and many were crying. Yet, I assume, all those girls are still going back there and the parents are accepting it. I have occasionally watched some of the Abby Lee Dance Company episodes. The way she treats some of the girls is mind boggling to me, yet the mothers put up with it. They have their own catfights comparing their kids while trying to look all nice and friendly towards each other. Yet they keep going back because they want to take advantage of the Abby Lee name and what that can do for their girls. You WITHDREW your child from that environment and from a school that was not supportive or considerate of her needs. In my books, you stood up for her and are still standing by her as best you can. Hang in there!

     

    :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

    Thank you for saying that.  I have been beating myself up quite a bit over the last 6 weeks or so. 

    9 year old with ASD and anxiety…. long, sorry

    in The Learning Challenges Board

    Posted

    Wow. I would have had a meltdown if I was forced to work like that. Is there any way you can move her back to her old gym? Or one that's not so focused on "building champions"? Or maybe put her in recreational gymnastics or dance so she has a physical outlet that's not so demanding? That's a lot of stress to put on a person, even without ASD. Some just can't handle it, and making her go back to a place with such extremely negative emotions attached is probably never going to be successful, no matter how good she is or how many of her friends are there.

     

    In the interest of full disclosure, I'm high-functioning ASD (Asperger's). I loved ballet as a child. Loved it. I wanted to do it all the time. But then I ended up with a teacher who (as I recall - I was in preschool, but the memories are still vivid) was always unkind to me. Every class. Nothing I did was right. I don't recall a single positive memory with her. I shut down and refused to dance. I couldn't even talk to my friends when they were dressed for dance class. A few years later, I decided I really wanted to try it again, and went to a different studio with a different teacher. Since it wasn't a place or a person who was familiar with the bad memories attached, I loved it. I danced until I went to college and couldn't afford it anymore. So, I can see how she really, really wants to do cheer and is depressed and anxious because something she loved/loves has been poisoned. Ask her what she wants to do. Does she want to go back to her old gym? Maybe take a break for awhile? Do something completely different, like swimming? Just don't offer the option to go back to the gym where she had the meltdowns. She may say she wants to go back, because it's familiar, but I can almost guarantee it's going to be too much, every time. 

     

    Oh, she is definitely not going back to that gym.  It's over there.  As of right now she's taking a break and not doing anything.  I hate that because she has enjoyed it so much but my big worry is that it carried over into school, and I'm concerned about what else she may withdraw from.  She's had anxiety, but this put it through the roof.  

    9 year old with ASD and anxiety…. long, sorry

    in The Learning Challenges Board

    Posted

    My daughter was home schooled until mid 2nd grade.  At that time we put her in school because she needed more interactions than I could give her because of taking care of my mom.  She wasn't able to get out and do things as much as our older sons had.  She did competitive cheer and had a circle of friends that way but she was always extremely shy, emotional, etc.  She did great in school, loved it and continued to do her cheer.  We got her dx as high functioning ASD in December but she still had no problems at school.  Educationally she was great, she didn't melt down at school and actually thrived in the routine and structure.  When we told the school, they said there was no need for a 504 because she had no issues.  If she ever did, they would work with us right away.

     

    This past summer she changed cheer gyms and while she was on a team with her age peers, the gym is very much into "building champions" as they call it.  Meaning they work them hard, very hard, with physical conditioning. She would get upset during practice, but a lot of kids would too.  One day, in early August, after a two hour practice, as punishment for it not being a good practice, the coach made the girls do 50 burpee / backhandsprings.  My daughter made it through exactly 18 and then had a complete meltdown.  Other girls were almost throwing up, some were crying, but none like my daughter.

     

    From that time on, she would say she had a stomach ace on the way to practice, she would tear up when it started and during conditioning she would cry.  She sat out a couple times.  For a few weeks, it progressively got worse.  She wanted to go, but she was so scared they'd have to condition hard again.  Then, they started conditioning at the beginning AND the end of practice.  My daughter lost it.  She would be fine, but as we were driving there, she'd get nauseous, start breathing funny, and it got the point of her almost hyperventilating.  She still wanted to do it, she just couldn't.

     

    It all hit the fan the first week of school, along with transitioning to 4th grade, new teacher, new kids… all of which can throw kids with ASD off.  At cheer, that week, she couldn't go to practice.  I mean, she wanted to, even if she saw they weren't conditioning, she would cry if she started to walk to the floor.  She'd watch them, but couldn't bring herself to go.  If you tried to force the issue, breakdown.  That Saturday, the coach took her out to the floor, was going to let her calm down but she kept losing it, parents complained, she screamed, I sat and cried.  I couldn't take it and had to go get her and take her home.   She was so upset, she barely slept for days, I mean like 3 hours in 3 days.  

     

    That Monday, we couldn't  get her to go to school, she lost it.  Again on Tuesday, she stayed home.  We were in contact with the school trying to get them to help us, because remember, they said IF there were any issues that arose at school they would help.  Right?  Wrong!  We tried for 1.5 weeks to get her to school, even to the point of forcing her out of the car and leaving her in a meltdown.  The day they said she was being manipulative and would get in trouble if she cried again, we withdrew her.  At that point, we needed to focus on getting our daughter back.

     

    Meanwhile, cheer…. the owner called the Monday after her big breakdown (the same day she started avoiding school) and told us that our daughter was wanted on the team, they needed her because of her talent and wanted to make her comfortable (they know she has ASD).  They offered that she didn't have to condition anymore if that would make her comfortable and able to participate.  We talked with my daughter and she said yes, happily!  The first practice back the same thing started to happen but she was reminded she didn't have to condition.  She made it through 1 practice, barely.  After that, she just couldn't get over the fear, anxiety, trauma, I don't know what… but we tried for another week or so, she just can't get past it.

     

    So now, our daughter, who had come a long way socially, thrived at school and at her sport, is now back at home… schooling, she withdrew from her activity, is losing touch with her friends and is having a hard time sleeping and just seems very down.  

     

    We have been seeing a behavioral pediatrician and a psychologist for a while, the psychologist mainly just meets with my husband and me to work on strategies for her.  Honestly, I don't think it's been helping much.  The first week she avoided school, the behavioral ped put her on Trazodone to help with sleep.  It did help but she's still been down and withdrawing more because of (we think anyway) anxiety.  They took her off trazodone and she's been on zoloft since Wednesday.  

     

    Tomorrow we're meeting with another psychologist who deals with anxiety and does CBT.  We are having a consultation with him and I'm really hoping this will help her.  It breaks my heart that in the last 6 weeks, she has hurt so much.

     

     

    I'd love to hear any thoughts, suggestions, success stories of you or your kids, prayers, anything.  I'm truly hoping the zoloft is only temporary as that's kind of the thought process but I just don't know.

     

    Thanks for listening!

    Anxiety in Autism

    in The Learning Challenges Board

    Posted

    Here's a little information:

    http://www.worrywisekids.org/node/22

     

    I'll share what I think I've learned-

     

    1.  Our emotions rise and lower on a scale.  At some point, our emotions reach a tipping point to panic or anger and there's no going back.  CBT will help you recognize before you reach that tipping point and act then to reverse the process.  Once you are post a certain point, regaining control is difficult.  At some point any further setback is so overwhelming that the person simply cannot function at anything other than an instinctual fight or flight mode.  I have learned to recognize when I am at this stage and turn over decision making to someone else. Recognize when you are still in control and act, recognize when you are out of control and get help.

     

    2.  Our mind creates pathways.  The well-worn paths give us comfort and are the ones we select most often, particularly if stressed.  Don't create negative pathways.  Negative thinking needs to be corrected and reversed.  Otherwise you continue down that negative path.  So if in a panic my child says "I can't do this, I'm an idiot" we don't scold them for having the feeling but we correct the thought path.  "If you can't do this, it's OK.  You are wonderful just the way you are. But we are going to keep trying to do [whatever "this" is]." 

     

    3. Food, rest, and security are important.  Comfort foods, safe spaces, familiar things can all contribute to soothing someone.  Knowing that there are certain things in life that can be relied up- even if it's a favorite game or food are important.  They serve as touchstones when we are lost.  Having a pet can be helpful- unconditional love and all that. 

     

    Let your doctor know you are paying out of pocket.  Ask for specific things to work on at home and books or other materials he/she might recommend.  Understand that you may receive only one small homework assignment at a time, because you are working through a process that will take patience.

     

    Thanks so much!

    Anxiety in Autism

    in The Learning Challenges Board

    Posted

    We are dealing with serious anxiety right now with my aspie girl who is 9.5.  So much that she has had to stop doing her activity, which is competitive cheer and we had to bring her home from school (she has loved it since she started in 2nd grade).  I'd love to hear of experience with CBT.  We have an appointment next week for a consultation with a psychologist for cbt with her.  She was diagnosed on the spectrum in December and has had some anxiety but it has gotten so much worse in the last 6 weeks or so.  I'm a little worried because it's all going to be out of pocket but I can't not do everything possible to help her.

    4th Grade Planning Thread

    in K-8 Curriculum Board

    Posted

    4th Grade Year for my ds..... A little behind in planning this year!

     

    Math: Saxon 5/4 (using the book as is.....or.....using VHSG instead. He absolutely LOVES math with VHSG!  I'm so grateful to all the volunteers there!)

     

    LA: IEW All Things Fun & Fascinating, Fix It Grammar, AAS, reading from a shelf of books.....cursive

    MBTP guides:  Morning Girl, Little House in the Big Woods, Stories from Africa & Asia, & Tornado.

     

    World Cultural Geography...using BYL 7 (tweaked) GeoScribed notebooking pages

    NC History (co-op class taught by me) See our blog for ideas

     

    Elemental Science Earth&Space, lots of videos

     

    YMCA Weekly PE, finish OM Health

    Guitar Lessons

     

    Spanish Immersion (co-op)

    3D Art (co-op)

    Cooking-1st semester; Sewing-2nd semester (co-op)

     

     

    Takes care of his chickens, Volunteer @ Ronald McDonald House with family, Typing, Always building/making something with his hands.

    What is VHSG?

    Where do I go first to find answers for my daughter?

    in Special Needs Board

    Posted

    Thanks, I'll take any suggestions.  Lots of the symptoms of ASD fit her to a tee.  But, she was also adopted from China at 10 months old.  Maybe there are issues from that as well?  I feel sad for her a lot of the time, she is so funny and sweet but that does not come across to a lot of people.  What comes across is someone who won't speak, or even acknowledge them.  And then, people also think she's just a brat.

    Where do I go first to find answers for my daughter?

    in Special Needs Board

    Posted

    We've always known she was shy, over emotional, a bit unique but she's also very smart and loving.  I've been to worry even more over the last year and some things have just gotten to the point where we need answers.  We have tried every discipline and even reward method that we used with our older sons.  Nothing seems to work.  She is logical but when she melts down she ends up shutting down and things are just not good for a while, like total shutdown.  After the fact, she can talk reasonably to us about how she should have handled situations but it doesn't change.  

     

    So, if there is a problem we need to know so we can help her.  If there is not a problem we need to know that too.  I'm going to call the pediatrician tomorrow.  From there, would a pediatric neurologist be able to do some testing?  They would most likely be covered under our insurance.  Or would I need to go to a Behavioral Pediatrician or a Neuropsychologist?  Both of those would be extremely costly but if we have to make a way, we'll figure it out.

     

    Thanks,

    Angel

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