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TarynB

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Posts posted by TarynB

  1. 3 hours ago, pinball said:

    Your family has been severely negatively impacted by generational trauma. You’ve described it here enough.

    Just as you came to understand the damage done to you as you got older, it sounds like like your kids are realizing the damage done to THEM. You are very good at listing all the offenses don’t TO you. You need to turn that skill around and see what you have done to HER.

    Your daughter is struggling. From the outside it looks like she wants a relationship but doesn’t know how the specifics of that will play out. 

    One thing that people who have lived with chaos and dysfunction as children do is recreate that chaos and dysfunction as adults. It’s hard to break the habit even when you recognize it. I think that is what your daughter and you are both doing. 

    Don’t involve your other kids. 

    Send a card and sign it the way you’d sign cards when she was a kid…whether it was “Love you so much” or “Love” or whatever…and then Mom and Dad.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    As someone who has been on both sides of this situation (child and parent) and has seen it play out with other relatives, I believe THIS is the way to handle it if you want to ever have a relationship with them in the future. It seems to me your child WANTS a relationship with you, but you are the parents, so they still feel "less than" you. They are reaching out just enough to keep a connection because they feel afraid and/or unworthy in your eyes. It is hard for you too, no doubt. Always take the high road - you are the parent, and they see you as in control no matter what and no matter how old they are.

    And def. don't involve your other kids, IMO. That just adds fuel to the fire, people taking sides.

    • Like 7
  2. With pets, I have switched to using a duvet cover plus a comforter, BUT I don't put my comforter inside the duvet cover. I just use the duvet cover on top with a comforter separate underneath it. Then when it needs washed due to pets, it is all much easier to manage and lasts much longer. And it all still looks the same as it would with the comforter inside the duvet cover when the bed is made. 😊

    • Like 1
  3. I had this problem with our Toyota Highlander. I pulled the headrest off the seat, spun it around backwards, and then put it back in the mount. So, just turned it 180 degrees and then put it back on the seat. It works much better for me! So maybe try that, see if you can get yours reversed too and if it helps with positioning?

    • Like 2
  4. Thank you so much, ladies! I can't tell you how grateful I am for all of you sharing your advice and experiences. I am looking into all of it to see what will work best for me and my travel companion. I'm typically one who spends weeks planning out my travel, so this short notice is a bit stressful, and I appreciate any and all help! 🥰

    • Like 1
  5. I'm going to make an unexpected, rather short trip to Marietta, Ohio, next week. I'm from the southern Plains, never been to Ohio. I'm excited but a little nervous and can't make up my mind which airport would be best to fly into and out of. I'll be flying out of either Oklahoma City or Tulsa. Any Ohio peeps who could share some advice? Thanks!

  6. I am very sorry for your loss.

    As a genealogy researcher, and as part of a family with divorce and estrangement issues too, I would suggest including all children, and don't leave out their mother even though there was a divorce (not sure if that might happen, just wanted to include that).

    When a close family member of mine passed, and the replacement wife took over writing the obituary, certain biological connections (people who are still living) were left out of the obituary. It still hurts.

    Since published obituaries are a critical piece of information in doing ancestry research, someone in the future who comes across my relative's obituary may be left very confused about their true family ties. 

    • Like 5
    • Thanks 1
  7. 10 minutes ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

    Sure! Sorry for the giant text, I cut and pasted it from a doc and I can’t figure out how to change it 😄 I’ve made with both creamy and chunky peanut butter with good results. I think you could probably use regular rolled oats too, but I like the texture old-fashioned gives. 
     

    Oatmeal Peanut Butter Cookies 

     

    • 1 C butter (2 sticks)

    • 1 C brown sugar

    • ¾ C white sugar

    • 1 C peanut butter

    • 2 eggs (3 if doubling)

    • 2 tsp baking soda

    • 1 tsp salt

    • 1 ½ C flour

    • 1 ½ C old fashioned oatmeal

    • 2 C semi-sweet chocolate chips

     

    Cream butter, sugar, eggs, and peanut butter together. Add in dry ingredients and then chocolate chips and bake at 350 for 10-12 min.

     

    @Forget-Me-Not thank you so, so much! I'm excited to make these! Thanks for sharing!

    • Like 1
  8. 2 hours ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

    Oatmeal peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. Not fancy, but probably the one recipe I’ve been asked for more than any other. 

    Would you be willing to share your recipe here? My college son would love these, I think, and I'm going to visit him soon. 🥰

    • Like 3
  9. 19 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

    Would this allow you to access and play your Spotify library? (My car is a 2011 and doesn’t have all those capabilities built in).

    I'm not the poster you asked, but I bought this bluetooth transmitter (link below) several months ago for our 10 year old vehicle, and it works great! And, yes, it works with Spotify, or any other audio app on my phone. Best 20 bucks we've spent in a LONG time!

    https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07533GYH2/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1

    • Thanks 2
  10. I don’t have much guidance to offer, but I will say, my limited experience with pre-paying for funeral expenses and all the things that go with that was a big scam. My dad passed away last year. He had prepaid for everything. But somehow the funeral home he chose in advance found lots of extra fees to charge us. They said “inflation” added supplemental fees and additional costs that were not covered. Dad was a military veteran, so the VA pitched in towards the final bill. I don’t know if the funeral home was just taking advantage of the VA benefits or what, but it felt very shady and frustrating to deal with all that. 

    • Sad 4
  11. On 11/22/2022 at 11:12 AM, Ting Tang said:

    So, the suspect was able to purchase a gun despite a bomb threat arrest?  I didn't even bother to read the article.  It's the same old, same old. 

     

    Edited to remove info that now seems unfounded

    • Sad 5
  12. @athena1277 A family member of mine went through this. I'm so sorry you're dealing with it too. This link with advice from the CDC might be helpful. But I didn't see anything that addresses getting the vax after having shingles if you're under 50, unfortunately. 

    "If you had shingles in the past, Shingrix can help prevent future occurrences of the disease. There is no specific length of time that you need to wait after having shingles before you can receive Shingrix, but generally you should make sure the shingles rash has gone away before getting vaccinated."

     

    • Like 1
  13. 17 hours ago, Annie G said:

    We live an hour from Gainesville, and drive through it regularly on the way to see my dad. Lots to see and do in the area, and I think you’d enjoy it. Homes are definitely cheaper away from the lake.  Hope it works out for you!

    @AnnieG Thank you! It's nice to hear positive things from someone who is familiar with the area!

    3 hours ago, TechWife said:

    I grew up there & have family in the area. Feel free to PM me with questions. It has it's pros & cons.

    TechWife, thank you again! I greatly appreciate all the info you've sent.

    • Like 1
  14. 6 hours ago, zimom said:

    Have lived there more than once but not in a few decades. Gainesville is a great town on a huge lake, Lake Lanier.  I still know a couple of people there, one in realty.  

    @zimom Wonderful to hear that it's a great town. Thank you! And DH loves to fish and hang out on water, so having that lake close by would be a major positive for him.

    4 hours ago, KidsHappen said:

    Several of my dd lived there for several years. They all liked it. It is a very large suburb about 45-50 minutes north of Atlanta. There is a college in town there and just about every retail or restaurant type establishment you could want. The is Lake Lanier and a small waterpark kind of place on the lake. There is plenty of housing and the cost of living was not terrible when they lived there. There is a large hospital in town. You are close enough to Atlanta to go to the zoo, or museums, or Ikea. The traffic in Gainesville is not horrible but in Atlanta it is. And the weather is weird. It get very hot in the summer but also gets snow in the winter, not a ton but enough to cause driving difficulties sometimes.

    @KidsHappen Thank you, I really appreciate this info! Everything you mentioned sounds like major benefits to living there. And weird weather, well, that's not ideal, and very good to know, but we have that where we live now too, so I guess we can deal with that if we have to. ☺️

  15. 28 minutes ago, MercyA said:

    I disagree. In that case there are two patients. Doctors should try to save both. Sometimes that is not possible. That is not the same thing as a direct act of killing. 

    Pro-life people I know defend their stance by saying that abortion is wrong because if the baby was conceived, it must be God's will that the baby exist. Okay. But then why/how do they ignore that logic and pursue treatment for cancer, diabetes, heart attacks, etc, etc? If someone is dying of cancer (or whatever), isn't that also God's will? Why should doctors try to save them? I don't understand that argument. I'd really like to understand that reasoning.

    • Like 4
  16. 19 hours ago, Selkie said:

    Dinner - Creamy Italian gnocchi soup (Monkey and Me recipe) with lots of veggies (carrots, green beans, green peas, corn, garlic, onion) and spinach gnocchi.

    @SelkieThank you for mentioning this Monkey and Me recipe for gnocchi soup. It looks so delicious! (And BTW, your posts are always very inspiring to me and I'm working on following in your footsteps health/diet-wise. So I really appreciate you.☺️ )

    • Like 1
    • Thanks 1
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