Hmmm. When I married (me 20, hubby 29) we never mentioned our ages and no one asked. The B&B even gave us a celebratory bottle of wine, which was delicious. :cheers2: The main thing: CONGRATULATIONS in advance.

Thank you, Jean. :) Hubby often says I'm too subtle. I think that's his nice way of saying confusing. The way theology fit was that I think I threw the baby out w/ the bathwater. I was so against a certain religious view on roles of woman, mother, husband/wife relationship etc. etc. and I took it as a package deal - i.e., the "good" woman is the subservient-homeshooling-housekeeping-family-slave. I tossed everything, but I don't see it that way now. As for respect/consistency. Not really issues. Except with the dog. I can't get him to quit following the baby around to lick up her burps. :ack2:

My 2 cents: My kiddos (6th, 3rd, 2nd) have done virtually nothing yet this school year in PS except play Get to Know You games. In high school it's different, I'm sure, but the first few weeks have been throw-away for us. Plus, when I put the oldest kiddo in school after HS it took a full semester for him to "sink" to the academic level of his classmates. With the older kids, I might solicit their input. They may surprise you. :grouphug:

:smash: Note to self: check the date.

What is a zombie thread? (I'm new, clearly!)

PAY FOR WHO YOU KNOW WILL HELP!!!! (Amen to Dr. Landis) Was that too strong? I went the insurance route the first time and it did Not go well.

Sheesh, now I know why so many posters ask folk to "be nice"! Thank you, Tibbie, for your insights and sensitivity. You nailed it - life was a mess (lost both parents, only sibling, FIL, pregnancy [3rd mc] in close succession *among other things*). I didn't give enough information, I see. The Cards is a metaphor for the Assumptions I held before all h@ck broke loose. Like God is good, and gives a d@rn, and exists! I'm married to a PhD in theology, so this alone was a Big Deal. And when that question arose many more seemingly a priori Truths of the Universe were less ... obvious. Like is organic really all that better? Truly? Weren't disposables just as good as cloth? :D My oldest was then about 8 and would slip off to the computer/TV/anything other than school every time my back was turned, and his little brother was 5 and didn't know his ABCs because I hadn't had time to teach him with chasing after a toddler and tracking down the Invisible Student. This plus all the pain (I lost 50lbs without dieting!) was ... there are no words. In short, I needed to figure out who I was *apart* from my role of mother, and decide my own beliefs/values apart from my culture of origin. I earned my Masters, started planning for a doctorate, and then WHAMO, preggers. And amazingly, I didn't mc. And now I have the most beautiful little complication ever. But she's made me slow down to revisit some of those Big Questions that I'd not wanted to think about. One is the whole Mother role and - back to the "card" analogy - I can't throw that card away, but I CAN re-shape it (i.e., my ideas of "woman" and "mother" aren't what they were before all the turmoil). I'm realizing I don't want to look back on life and think, "Wow, I have a nice career going, but my children are strangers." My little bug grows faster than I can keep up with, and every moment is a delight I wish I could hold on to forever. Is this a bad reason for wanting to bring them back home? Not that it's the only reason, mind you. Hubby and I value education Hugely (which should be perty dern obvious). BTW now that the oldest is 11 and the second is 8, I see the same irksome traits in the 8-year-old. Had I known it was a STAGE and would have PASSED maybe I would have stuck with it, but at the time I had no one to tell me. My 11yr old is delightful. Although he no longer eats only organic. We go to *gasp* McDs after school every Friday for McFlurries! And thank god he does NOT wear cloth diapers (though the baby does). :lol:

Maybe I should add, first two years of HS were fabulous. Before life imPloded. Mainly concerned nostalgia is driving this HS urge.

:confused: Explain?

I've been lurking for a while now, finally coming out with a question... But first, the background. I homeschooled my oldest for three years, and three years ago had said ENOUGH and put him and his younger brother in a charter school. Reasons for quitting: I hated being the School Warden, was going through a terribly hard time personally, was honestly really resentful of my role as mother. I sort of resented my whole life and the hand I'd been dealt, if that makes sense. It's as if my life as I knew it was a deck of cards that had been tossed in the air. All the values I thought I had were scattered. And at the time, I didn't want any of those cards. The first year of charter school: loved it, plus I still had my youngest at home. Second year, still good and now I had half days to myself. Perfect since I was earning my MFA at the time. Third year I finished the MFA, got pregnant (oops), was going on three years of therapy and finally putting some excruciating pain to rest. But the charter school, not so great. None of the kids had teachers they really jived with, the environment didn't encourage academic excellence, so we decided to switch to PS. Here's where things get tricky. With the wee baby I've started picking up a lot of those cards. Some I don't value anymore, but some are still important. One of those: these four kiddos. I'm not sure if I want to pick up that HS card and put it in the new deck, not sure if I should. I don't like th PS but the kids LOVE it. They would probably like to HS, maybe, but I'm just conflicted. I'm thinking of things like friends, consistency, all that school "stuff" and the fact that they're really enjoying their teachers and the other kids. And the lunch room salad bar! So, you seem like a wise bunch, or a bunch of wise guys. What would you say?