The nursing home is expected to be temporary. However, I believe nothing anymore. I mean, dad was supposed to be on the ventilator for three days; he ended up on life support for three weeks. My biggest worry right now is that dad is going to move to this nursing home and end up dying there. I don't know why I'm being so morbid about it, but that's what I'm worried about. Mom's acting like he'll be there for a week or two or three, then be well enough to come home. My mind just keeps going "What in the WORLD has happened to my dad?! He's going to a NURSING HOME?!"

Impish, this is actually a fantastic idea, thank you. Mom gave us no heads up on the nursing home. I feel like she was doing it behind me and my sister's backs. The first I heard of dad going to one was last week. She just now texted me that he's moving TODAY.

I can't say anything like that to mom. Because she'll start cutting me out. My older sister has quit communicating with mom because of how upset she is. It's gotten absurd. My older sister is at the hospital with dad either two or three days a week. My mother WORKS there at the hospital. And still the two of them do not communicate regarding dad's care. Sister just can't take mom anymore. She's staying involved as she can with DAD, while cutting out mom as much as she can for her own sanity. Well, mom doesn't like it. Of course mom won't talk to sister about it. They've just stopped talking. It's all very sad, twisted, and involved. But I can only say that if I say anything mom deems as 'offensive', she'll stop telling me stuff at all. I feel stuck.

The frustration is that mom is going to do what mom wants to do. She won't pick another nursing home for dad, regardless of what I want or do. The only *possible* way I could get dad to NOT go to the awful nursing home mom has picked is to tell dad how awful it is. That would be my only chance of changing anything. But if I do that, first of all I have no assurances mom would actually do anything different. So I could end up upsetting dad, totally ticking mom off, and he'd end up there anyway. Seriously, if I say anything to dad about it being a bad nursing home, mom will be LIVID. My only hope would be that dad would refuse to go there, forcing mom to pick a better place. I guess my best course is to just stay as involved as I can. I HAVE alerted my sister about how bad the place is. I'm mostly just disgusted at how my mom is making decisions regarding dad's care. It makes me angry, and it makes me worry even more about dad.

I'm not sure if this was supposed to be funny, but my not-quite-right sense of humor found it hilarious. Mom HAS been to this nursing home before. A few years ago, she used to take her dog, who is a 'certified therapy dog' to visit residents there. NO, she wasn't looking at how good of a nursing home it was. She picked that nursing home to volunteer her dog at because it's closest to her house. That's it. But you see, the fact that she's actually BEEN there before means it's ok. I'm just disgusted. And I can't decide if dad would be better off at an absolutely awful nursing home, or at home with mom. I'm sorry, but at this point, if dad dies before mom, she can pick her own friggin' nursing home. (I told you I was struggling with my feelings toward my mom.)

Oh! This is slightly different, but for crying out loud, if I have to try and explain daylight savings time ONE MORE TIME... "But mommy, what time is it *really*? You know, in REAL life." Every. single. year.

Just yesterday, Zee was pronouncing the dog name 'Fido' with a short i. It took me a minute to figure out what he was saying. When I corrected him, he was astonished. :p

OH MY WORD. I texted my mom to ask how she picked the nursing home because it gets awful reviews. Because it's close. That's how. She did NO research. I feel physically ill.

If you've ever had to pick a nursing home for someone, please, I need help. I just looked up the nursing home my mom has selected for dad. It gets a ONE out of five star rating from the Medicare review site. That's the LOWEST possible rating. I have no idea what criteria mom used to pick this place, but there is NO way I want dad there. Now, to be fair, there are only TWO nursing homes in the whole city Flint (where they live) that get either 4 or 5 stars. I don't know what to do. Of course I'll talk to mom about it, but knowing her, it won't matter. She's already picked it out. What resources should I point her to to help her find a different one? I'm just freaking out a little here.

Dad is still in the hospital. Today marks 3 months. He's still on dialysis three days a week; we don't expect that to change. Besides kidney failure, his official diagnosis is 'congestive heart failure'. He's on blood thinners, which has caused him to have a continuous nose bleed. It just won't stop. He's had to have transfusions. He's claustrophobic, feels trapped, has horrible anxiety including panic attacks, his appetite is low, he trembles, and his bed sore is still AWFUL. He's on heavy duty pain meds, blood thinners, anxiety meds, depression meds, and has 'wound vac' for his bedsore. They are talking about discharging him to a nursing home 'for a while', but if his insurance doesn't approve that, he'll go straight home. Could be tomorrow, could be a week. No one knows. He seems like a 86 year old man now, not 56. Every time I go see him, he's SO sweet to me. Just says how much he loves having me there, doesn't want me to leave, asks me to read the Bible to him and pray with him. It's so bittersweet. 'Cause it ruins me to see my dad this way. He's never going to be better. The doctors have told us to expect him to keep having severe complications because his health is so compromised. I feel hopeless and helpless, and have been having some dark days recently. I realize it's supposed to be 'good' that dad's ready to be discharged soon. But he's NOT BETTER. Sure, he isn't on a ventilator anymore. But I just foresee him going back into the hospital soon and repeatedly, getting sicker and sicker, until he dies. I just feel so sad lately. I hate seeing my dad like this. I feel guilty for not being more available to him. I'm struggling with anger and hatred toward my mom, who doesn't want him to come home because it will be too much of a burden on her. But more than that, I'm struggling with feeling like we made the wrong decision to keep dad on the life support for three weeks. I feel like maybe we made the wrong choice. What sort of life does he have now? How is it fair that we kept him around so that he could slowly waste away, full of anxiety and sickness? It just seems like we did the wrong thing. The selfish thing.

Now if I could just get SOME idea what to get dss15... Why are teenagers SO hard to buy for?!

Well we just installed ours yesterday, but I really don't have any hesitations about it staying up. The track isn't very heavy, since it's mostly plastic. Plus, if one of the brackets *did* fall off, you can get more of those adhesive strips to stick it back on. I did put one of the brackets up, and that stuff is pretty sticky.

Moose just had his birthday party yesterday. His uncle, who has three girls and therefore LOVES to buy my boys stuff when he has the chance, :D, got him this Hot Wheels Wall Tracks. Both my boys, who are (almost) 7 and 9 LOVE it. And, it was pretty easy to put up; well, at least I think so, dh did it. :tongue_smilie: And since the wall tracks are different sets that can connect together, this gives us ideas of what to tell grandparents to get the boys. I NEVER know what to say that the boys want, since they never *want* anything. Just thought I'd pass it along. :001_smile:

This is what we do. For example, our pantry has: dry boxed cereal (yeah yeah, but dh insists we have it around) pasta rice our favorite brand of pasta sauce canned veggies (we do eat these regularly; I can't get the boys to transition to frozen green beans for the life of me!) ketchup/bbq sauce/mustard oatmeal bags of flour yeast bottled water (dh won't drink tap water, so he drinks this regularly) tuna peanut butter Um, that's all I can think of right now. It's all stuff we use regularly, so I just rotate it when I shop. We used to do the 'stock emergency food' thing, but we realized that when the food got close to expiration and needed to be replaced, we didn't want to eat it. Who wants a giant can of baked beans or whatever? Not us, LOL. So we went to just stocking up on things that we eat regularly, and that works well for us. We have extra food in the house, but nothing gets wasted. PLUS, I stock up on the pantry things when they go on sale, so that helps the budget, too.

Kristin, I'd *totally* put it in the garage. Maybe set it on high instead of low. The surgical mask with essential oil is a neat idea. I used to keep mint gum in my mouth when I went to the grocery store, because the smell of the rotisserie chickens got me every time. :tongue_smilie:

I get migraines. Sometimes they're hormonal, sometimes triggered when I'm under BIG stress (the day my dad had his heart attack I got a KILLER migraine), and sometimes they're triggered by neck or back muscle pain. Mine start behind one eye, then go up around my head, down my neck, and all the way down to below my shoulder blade. I take Imitrex, which my gyno prescribes. But I've been thinking about visiting a neurologist, because I've been getting them more frequently. Also, I used to be able to take just one Imitrex most of the time, but now I ALWAYS have to take two. I'm thinking regular chiropractic care could really help, but we have a $30 copay for visits. I just can't get myself to spend $120 a month on that. Zee gets migraines, too. Has since he was four or so. We haven't been able to figure out any triggers for him for sure, but we do suspect bright sunlight is one, so he wears sunglasses a lot. He takes Imitrex, too. Blessedly he doesn't get them very often. It's so hard to see him in that pain. He gets nausea with his; I don't. Migraines STINK.

I made these for my boys before. It was fun, they thought they were crazy looking. But no one really ate them, lol.

YAY! :party: God is good. All the time. :001_smile: So happy for you and your family, Heather.

NO! That chicken would be thrown away at our house.

Seriously, it's that easy? Yay! I can do *that*, LOL. I don't need straws or dowels or anything to stack them?

And, yanno, vacationing moms are exPempt from spelling rules. :D I have a pair of pj pants that dh calls my 'circus pants'. They have multi-color stripes, and they're WAY too big on my now that I've lost some weight. But they're comfy! :P Just the *thought* of going to Walmart in them almost makes me literally LOL.

Like. :001_smile:

Pregnant mamas are totally expempt from that social rule. You're good. :D

I need help. Please. I ordered a dozen specialty cookies for Moose's birthday from a local baker. They'll look pretty much like this. Basically, 12 cookies that are Mario themed, and they'll all be on sticks. Moose wants a 'WOW' birthday cake. I thought I could make a three layer cake, and stick the cookies in it. Easy, right? I've never make a tiered cake. And I only have ONE size of round cake pan; you know, that regular set of 9 inch cake pans we all have. Any ideas? I'm envisioning a three tiered cake, frosted in blue icing, with the cookies-on-a-stick sticking out all over. Sounds like a 'wow' cake for a seven year old boy, right? But how do I (EASILY!) make a three tiered cake without buying any more specialty cake pans? Can I just bake some cake in my 9X13 pan, and cut circle layers out? Could I use my 9 inch layers on bottom, then do 7 inch and 5 inch layers by cutting up a rectangle cake? And then how do I stack the cakes so they are stable? Help me! :tongue_smilie:

Yay! You sound happy. :001_smile: