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Everything posted by Entropymama

  1. I'll give you a slightly different path. My brother in law joined the Marines at 18 to be a firefighter. They handled all his training, etc. and he spent (I think) 6 years in. When he got out he joined a fire department near Seattle. It was lean for a few years, but he was able to get a good position. He then took night classes to qualify as an EMT and, recently, a paramedic. I do not believe he has a degree, he just had to get extra training to qualify for the next step up. He makes good money now, enjoys his work, and likes that he works 24 hour shifts because it leaves plenty of time to be home with his kids.
  2. Of course the disappearing feature can be used in a naughty way - we've had talks with our kids about how nothing is ever gone forever. My understanding of the disappear feature is because it saves space on the phone. I thought it was silly, but teens take scads of photos and they really can fill up their memory with them. Especially since 'streaks' are popular - you send someone a snap every day and see how long you can go on your streak. A picture a day times half a dozen friends with which you have streaks is a lot of photos.
  3. Drug testing is often contracted out, as are polygraph exams, depending on the city/county. I imagine there are ethical concerns, but they could be overcome.
  4. The excerpt didn't come over with the quote, so I've copied it: [T]he overwhelming problem with online porn culture is that it promotes a truly intense nihilism in young men about bodies and their own sexuality generally. To be blunt, the entire culture of porn online exists to reduce the male orgasm to the status of defecation – a bodily function to be attended to on a regular basis in privacy to give mild physical relief, but something with no particular value or meaning. And female bodies are likewise so reduced along the way. Sex reduces to plumbing – it is entirely disenchanted. It’s worse than depravity – depravity suggests some kind of actual authoritative meaning to transgress against. The long term effect of porn for a lot of the young guys I encounter is just a pervasive numbing meaninglessness, attached to a kind of limp hedonism. They’re adrift, and their own degrading relationship to their own sexuality because of porn is a major factor in that. This is excellent, and it perfectly explains my own objection to pornography. The vast majority of people on our planet agree that sex is more than just a biological function. Even those who reject a Christian world view generally agree to some kind of spiritual function to it - the joining of two people, not just an enjoyable physical experience. Science backs this up - chemistry, neurons, emotions, etc. Porn disregards the idea that sexual intimacy is anything but a physical interaction, one that can be exploited for monetary gain. It turns something intimate and generous into performance. As Marbel stated, the participants are no longer focused on one another, but on an audience, on what can be gained. There is no thought to the pleasure of one's partner, or even, really, to one's own pleasure (which would be selfish, but at least understandable) but to the pleasure of whomever is paying for it. It robs both the participants and the viewers of the joy that is real intimacy, and that is a travesty. I reject the entirety of the worldview that reduces sex to something so base.
  5. Just chiming in to add my vote - quit and use your toddler's diagnosis. It's graceful, it's something they can't argue with, it has no bearing on your cousin. You can do it! You'll be so glad you did.
  6. It's been about ten years since we moved, but we lived in Phoenix, Mesa, Tempe and Queen Creek. In every location we had a monthly pest service (or quarterly? I can't remember) and so did most people we knew. We only ever had bugs in the Queen Creek house, because it had been farmland. We only ever saw a scorpion once, and it wasn't inside. This is anecdotal, obvs, but I'd say your bug issues aren't much worse than anywhere else in general. Our kids often slept on the floor in sleeping bags for fun. But of course it depends on the house you're in.
  7. A few years ago, when we lived in CA, I was informed by the girl at check in that since my dd had turned 12 her medical records were now private and I wasn't allowed access to them unless she consented. I was also informed that I was no longer allowed in the exam room with her and the doctor. At the time I was appalled. Not only did it make it much more difficult for me to provide my child with health care, I couldn't believe they would bar me from the room. I was livid. As it turned out, though the policy was in place, it wasn't carried out to the letter. I asked the pediatrician about it and he said it was up to dd, and she preferred me to stay. It was no big deal. It was frightening because we were new there and didn't know any of the doctors. I can still see how a creepy doctor would use such a policy to his or her advantage, and I think the pendulum has swung too far in that situation. And 12 is just too young, IMHO. On the other hand, now that my dc are getting older, I do think it's important for them to have trusted adults apart from their parents to talk to. I'm not entirely sure, but I think this may be generational. I have been appalled at the things my grandmother is okay with because someone in authority says so. (She also grew up in an authoritarian home in the 30's and married a Naval officer, so maybe it's lifestyle.)
  8. We really liked Peabody and Sherman. I can't think of what would be dark ... there is one joke that has sexual innuendo, but I think it would go over most kids' heads.
  9. Fasting has helped me overcome comfort eating to an extent. I like sweets and coffee, and I go to them when I'm emotional. I'll pick a couple weeks at a time and fast all sweets and coffee. If I do feel the emotional urge to eat, I am forced to find something else to meet that need other than food. This helps me later, when I'm not fasting, because I have other things to turn to and because I have built up an endurance, if you will, against emotional eating. This might not be helpful if you're already under stress, but I find that having a different reason not to stress eat (I'm fasting, rather than I just shouldn't) is very helpful.
  10. I understood that the alcohol content was more like 2% in beer and cider, and that wine was often 'cut' with water. You'd have to drink an awful lot of that to compare with a mixed drink of today, or even a glass of wine. Still, it would be interesting to know, if you could ever get the data.
  11. Ugh. Thanks guys, looks like we're headed in to get swabbed tomorrow.
  12. No cough or runny nose. That looks like the same list I looked up - the red spots had me concerned. My question is, is strep the kind of thing you can let ride? Or is it necessary to take him in? He doesn't seem too bad, headachy, tired, fever about 101 but goes down with medication. I'm usually a 'let it be' kind of parent when it comes to sickness, but as I said I've never dealt with strep before.
  13. Dd3 had a fever over the weekend, no other symptoms, went away quickly. Ds9 had a fever yesterday and today, headache, sore throat. Ds7 has a fever today, headache, sore throat, and red dots on the roof of his mouth (soft palate). We've not had strep in the house before. Should I go get him tested to be sure? Is it okay to ride out without antibiotics? We've had fevers plenty of times, but the red dots are new to me.
  14. I'd guess it has more to do with isolation. Consider that for part of the year much of Alaska gets 20 hours of sunlight per day.
  15. This is unbelievable. It should immediately be a crime, like an adult with a minor or a teacher with a student. Insane.
  16. It's so true, but isn't it strange? Imagine someone taking your purse in the church parking lot, or punching your husband. I doubt anyone would hesitate to say those things were wrong, but we always assume we've mistaken someone's intentions when it comes to sexual aggression or manipulation. Why do we do this?
  17. This is one of the arguments I heard from another parent, but I have to disagree in this context. Yes, I think my child needs to be in situations where she learns to get along with adults without a chaperone; that's why she has a job, and goes to high school, and babysits, and volunteers at church, and goes to the store alone. These are situations in which she can learn to speak for herself and manage social situations without someone telling her how, but they are situations in which she has at least some modicum of power or control. She can leave the room, she can walk away, she can look to the other people around her for support if something seems off. Getting into a vehicle with an adult removes all these safety rails. She cannot get out of the car if she's uncomfortable. There's no one there to signal her, or for her to signal to, if something inappropriate is done or said. The instructor is in a position of power over her, in an enclosed space, with no 'out'. And, if he wanted to, the instructor could direct her to drive to a place she's unfamiliar with, so she might not even be able to drive home if she felt uncomfortable and had the courage to do so. Very few young girls have the self awareness to say, "Hey, what you said was inappropriate and I want to go home now." Plus, he's right next to her, unlike, for example, in an Uber where I'm in the back seat and the driver is up front. At least in that case the extent would be that the driver might say something that makes me uncomfortable. In the driver's ed scenario, the instructor could easily reach over, for example, and put his hand on my dd's thigh. What is she supposed to do then? Anyone who's been a victim will tell you that it's much harder to speak up for yourself in those situations than you might think. Frankly, it seems blatantly irresponsible from the view of the company. Imagine if an instructor did or said something inappropriate, or even was accused of having done so. The company could be sued. I can't believe they take such risks. My dh is a pastor and he could lose his job if he drove a teenaged girl home from church alone.
  18. Do you use this on its own or with Lingua Latina?
  19. :lurk5: I'm interested in this, too.
  20. For ds14 and dd12 - both went through Prima Latina in early elementary, then got about halfway through Getting Started with Latin in late elementary before going to a Classical school for a year (so they got daily Latin there). I've just brought them back home (from a regular school, so no Latin this year) and am trying to figure out where to put them. I'd thought I'd use Latin Alive, but it's kind of pricey. Is it worth it? Is there anything else good for middle schoolers with a decent amount of prep? It's not going to be a main subject for us, so I'd like to do 20-30 minutes three times per week.
  21. My dd recently turned 16 and has just finished driver's ed. I was absolutely appalled that the driving portion of the class was to be her and a driving instructor, alone in a car, for two hours at a time. Going who knows where with someone I had never met. Even more disturbing was the fact that nobody else seemed bothered by it. Other parents simply shrugged and said that was how it had always been done, and when I called to ask if I could ride along with them, the employee acted like I was being ridiculous. We ended up getting a female driving instructor, which was better, but the whole thing was just bizarre. How, in our current culture and climate, could anyone think it was okay to put a 15 year old girl in that situation? And why am I being vilified for being uncomfortable about it?
  22. I'd seen that the first several weeks of Grammar for the Well Trained Mind was free to download, and had planned on using it to get started, but now I can't find it! Did I miss the promotion?
  23. We moved here six years ago! Welcome! I think hot dish is a decidedly MN phrase, bleeding over a bit into WI and IA. Incidentally, although I am a firm supporter of 'duck, duck, goose' (being from the PNW), 'duck, duck, grey duck' is actually more accurate. The game originated in Sweden as 'anka, anka, grattanka' - literally 'duck, duck, grey duck'. Lots of Swedes moved to MN, so they got the proper translation.
  24. I have a 16, 14 and 12 year old. They have all gone through a phase where they had outgrown toys and pretend but not yet found what they wanted to do. There were lots of days of 'boredom'. But they outgrow it, they find interests. I did offer lots of activities and ideas, but that transition is hard and it takes time.
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