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Carrie12345

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Everything posted by Carrie12345

  1. Like I said in a previous post, I manage the household finances. Sometimes that means I’m Mr. Carrie12345 online. I don’t pass for Mr. Carrie12345 on the phone. Mr. Carrie12345 (real) had a Chase card from 2019 - 2023. So I have tons of Chase emails in my records; processed payments, Get This Deal, try this product, etc. I still get email offers after we closed it. Today I got an email from Chase Credit Journey telling “me” to review my recently opened auto loan. We don’t have any auto loans. I went through all of our “soft” credit report stuff and found nothing about auto loans. I pulled my real credit reports and got through 2 without anything suspicious, but couldn’t get the 3rd because it asked a stupid question I couldn’t answer. Dh pulled his, but he got a wrong answer from the get-go, so he has to do it by mail. Surely an auto loan would have shown up somewhere in what I did dig up, right? Credit Karma, our mortgage company credit checker, our credit cards’ credit checkers… somewhere! I’m glad I’m not finding something, but that email has me freaking out.
  2. Sorry for quoting again, but I have a fabulous answer for this. Provide the best product at the best price. Isn’t that what capitalism is *supposed* to be?
  3. The question is, why do we allow it to be their job? A food company’s job is supposed to be to provide food to people. And the shoe company to provide shoes, the building company to supply buildings, etc. And at a price that allows the people “doing” those companies to afford their food, shoes, buildings, etc. The idea that food is used as a “cover” for making a relative handful of people insanely wealthy while the masses are expected to sacrifice their nutrition to sustain that wealth is mind blowing.
  4. Because there are so few owning so much.
  5. Context and subtext matter, and people err on both sides. My sister didn’t tell me she had a miscarriage for I don’t remember how long because it had happened days before one of my kids was born and she didn’t want me to have to think about that. But I would have wanted to be there for her as someone who had been through that. OR, maybe she didn’t want me to be *because I was having a baby but she didn’t want to say that. Lots of perspectives to look from. The flip side is, when I had my miscarriage, my step-step sister got pregnant and no one told me for ages. And I felt so far out of the loop. I struggle when it comes to tiptoeing. I’m happy for other people when good things happen to them. And if good things happen to someone we don’t like, it’d be more like, “Can you believe that jerk managed to ____?!?” I have a mid-20s who is struggling. Maybe we’re just fortunate that he doesn’t have relatives near his age except two of his siblings, who he’s proud of, but are not on highly esteemed tracks. Specific caveats assumed, dulling someone else’s light doesn’t make our own stronger.
  6. Wow! I don’t know if they do here, but I’ll do some digging! Thank you all for the ideas. Lots to marinate in my brain. @Pam in CT I don’t know why ferns hadn’t even crossed my mind. I’m not the biggest fan of them, but I know from the natural ones at our old house that they hold up very well even to a little nibbling.
  7. I’m outside right now working on my 6x8 greenhouse. Almost done! I think I’ll shade a spot in there and put some greens seeds in this week. Grow rack is growing. My garden beds were not put to bed neatly, so I have a lot to do whenever the next dry, warmish day is. I’m trying to decide whether to order fruit trees or just give Lowe’s a whirl. I want to try grapes this year. Definitely need small evergreens for my front garden. It looked pathetic this winter, lol. It’s hard to watch warmer people get going and not take risks to feel on track!
  8. Our deer LOVE hostas. 😞
  9. Our backyard gently(ish) slopes toward the house, meets the opposite graded ground *from the house, and then there’s a steeper sloped front yard. The opposite slopes meet just in front of where our back patio/deck/something will someday go. (Currently just tampered stone.) When there’s a lot of water, much of it flows down the channel it’s created, away from the house, and down the greater slope in the woods. But a good deal still sits in the channel until it eventually gets absorbed. Which it does relatively quickly, but not quickly enough. We’re still in and out of the backyard when it’s warm but wet, and we’ve got dogs. Are there deer-resistant, mostly-shade, water-loving plants I can put in to help control that water? It gets some morning sun, but nothing after that, and we have tons of hungry wildlife. Forgot to add, I’m on the zone 5/6 border.
  10. Yes! Dd and I are the only ones who eat Dave’s Killer Bread, but even she is barely home half-time. And I do freeze it, but that means I sometimes forget it exists. A smaller loaf would be awesome! (I do bake bread, but not major whole-grains and seeds.)
  11. I don’t know about the specific items or cost, but I do know it’d be a dream to go to grab something without finding my hand in an empty box! Or to know how many strawberries are left. Or to not lose my shrimp cocktail behind a pile of tortillas in the fridge. Or to not wonder if my 13yo is going to have a major growth spurt or a hunger strike this week.
  12. You say HE wants you to take over “combined finances”, but what does that mean to him, exactly? I can imagine a million different scenarios. Obviously it’s different in my household. I make $0, and I handle almost all of the finances. Dh’s direct deposit goes to his account, he sends X% to my account, I pay almost all of our bills (he gets our streaming bills), then I decide where the rest goes, including spending, investments, joint savings, joint checking, and my separate account. That isn’t to say every account gets stuffed every time, lol! He knows what he gets every other week, but he only knows what’s going on with the rest during occasional check ins. But that’s in a 24 year relationship with a long financial track record. In a newer relationship with imbalances, I think I’d stick just to household bills, determine who pays what percentage, have each transfer that amount to a designated account, and have “handling” be the logistics of managing just that. Probably with an additional designated account for contributing to joint “wants” like vacations or home projects. But I’d keep the rest separate. Finances are such a huge category for relationship issues in ANY relationship. It would seem wise to wade into that gradually and address each small issue as it arises rather than do it all at once and possibly face multiple unexpected conflicts. Especially while he’s adapting his own spending habits.
  13. My sister moved twice as a teen. I never did. She is/was basically fine, though in her situation there was divorced parents dynamics that played their own role. For our family as a whole, because we all lived within 75 minutes or less before that, it changed a lot for the worse. But not comparable to, say, unemployment or severe underemployment would have at an individual/nuclear family level. My sister loves where she moved to the second time, and refused to move as an adult even for her own family’s financial gain.
  14. I think it’s important to remember that each person speaks from their personal position, and there’s nothing wrong with that. As a kid, I remember going without a hot water heater for years. And without cable (when cable was the only way to have more than 3 or 4 channels.) Periodically without electricity. I wouldn’t *voluntarily* give up those things today, though I know I could manage out of necessity or camping. Though going without electricity presents legal issues here. I’m currently looking at trimming b/c we’re back on the entrepreneurial track. (Trying not to get hopes up. Dh has gotten cold feet multiple times before.) I need to get back to doing more of my cooking from scratch. I need to order an appraisal to drop our mortgage insurance. I have to adjust our thermostat when Dh isn’t looking 😛. I’m canceling my audible subscription and I need to cancel the dogs’ Bark Boxes. We should cut back streaming, but I don’t know which ones yet. My big one (emotionally) is cutting out grocery delivery. All of my stores have free pick up, but not having to drive 20 miles or more (an hour plus) round trip has been so nice. But too pricey when trying to save. Aiming for a big garden this year. I already own most of what I need to grow and preserve, so that helps. I’m not that into clothes and I only have 1 kid that is still growing, so that’s a big deal after having had 5 kids growing at the same time, but rarely in hand me downs that fit the season!
  15. Same. I can understand it being jarring when it’s not everyday language. It is in this house. But dh’s “WTF?!” tonight after I dropped the bread knife he “couldn’t find” (it was in the knife block where it lives) while handing it to him almost turned into one of those dumb arguments. We are loud and we are blunt. Like, all the time. If we weren’t, then it would be weird for us.
  16. There’s no logical way to have robust public transport by me. Even school buses, which stop door to door on “main roads”, have group stops in some areas that are up to 2 miles from students’ homes. We’re just too spread out. There is a door to door bus for seniors, but the route is very specific and limited. And people like my former neighbor make it run late.
  17. I lived in York, PA without a car and on the edge of Trenton, NJ with 1 car between me and dh. Both worked okay. Neither of them were places I’d voluntarily live again. I find the Marta train super easy to use in Atlanta, but I’ve never tried the buses. I don’t like the southern climate but, of my 3 experiences, that’s the one that seems most no-car-friendly to me.
  18. I live in a ski area, so no, lol. They’re the worst (most noticeable) when it’s warm out, so this is that time of year.
  19. because I am completely disgusted by the snow fleas this year. Truly, it makes me gag. Now you can all gag with me.
  20. At the time, the linked article only quoted “Jose D” with ATTHelp. I wouldn’t count that as an official statement from the company. But it is mostly good news, all things considered.
  21. I’m sorry. My son once asked a nurse to do his tetanus last because it hurts the most, and she intentionally did it first! As a mom, I know what her thought process was, but also as a mom, how dare you?!?!? Last week, the vet’s office put my dog’s sedatives and pain pills in the wrong bottles. My trust issues are big.
  22. I can’t speak for that specific area, but I’ve found homeschooling in PA to be super easy for the past 17 or so years. 😁
  23. I really urge people to look for reputable sources before declaring things. I’m definitely one to say “I’ve heard” or “I’ve seen”, but I don’t state those things as verified facts. Reuters says multiple agencies are investigating the cause as of 5 minutes ago. https://www.reuters.com/technology/cellular-outage-us-hits-att-t-mobile-verizon-users-downdetector-shows-2024-02-22/
  24. Most of the big media I’ve seen have (at least an hour ago) stuck to not knowing, but listing possibilities. If solar flares were confirmed, I would think they’d share that.
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