You all are very sweet thank you. I am feeling a lot better today. It is hard to for me to make new friends because I am so busy with all of the kids stuff. I don't usually "fit right in" anywhere because we are 1. large family 2. biracial in a mostly uptight white area 3. we have a child with special needs 4. tattooed and just offbeat in general 5. well you get the idea ... so when I do meet someone that I click with who accepts me and my crew then it is like a special treat and then to have it be a user relationship just...sucks.

I just want to whine and cry a little about how hard it is to make/keep decent friends. As I get older my BS tolerance gets lower but it seems that if I am not willing to put up with endless BS then I end up alone. Had a very close friend that acted like a real jerk to me and we didn't talk for awhile, then we "sort of" got back friends, then I noticed today she must have put me on her restricted list on FB because I can't see anything on her profile. It really hurt my feelings, esp since she was the one who wronged me in the first place. Before our falling out we talked on the phone every single day and she also would drop by at least once a week . She was the kind of friend I could call if I was crying, kwim? She got involved in a very toxic friendship with another woman and I kept warning her that things were spiraling out of control. Then she asked me to do a favor for her and I did it, but she flipped out on me and was really nasty to me AND my kids for no reason, we were helping her! After that day things got really ugly between her and the toxic woman, and after the dust settled from that situation I tried to talk to her and go back the way things were, but it never happened and I am just really really hurt because I thought we were close and I guess reality is she did not care about me at all, I was unceremoniously dumped when she had no more use of me. It seems like I only make friends who want to use me for what they can get, free babysitting, rides, stuff, etc. Then as soon as I realize it is a one way street and start saying "no" to stuff, then poof, the friendship is gone. I am so lonely, most of the time it is just me and my kids as DH works a lot and you know how overwhelmingly busy life as a homeschooler can be. I feel like maybe I would rather have sh***y friends then no friends at all.

It sounds like he could have tourettes syndrome. I have a TS son and he sounds a lot like him. I would try a nuerologist they can dx TS and possibly anything else that is going on.

I bet you have some little "grazers" in your house. I have a few like that and they drive me crazy. I just dole out food to them. For the smaller ones I will cut an apple or bananna in half, half now and half a hour from now when they ask again. People are different my dh will fill up his tank with a big meal and run almost all day but I need to eat small meals through the day to feel my best. I cut my costs by making a big batch of muffins or a big pot of popcorn and give small amounts through the day. My grazers eat all day long but it really does not add up to a ton of food per kid because it is small amounts. All of my kids are fit and trim, high energy kids. I do have a lock on my pantry so I can control what is eaten, my littles would clear out the cereal and chips if they were accessible. Don't worry you will figure it out :)

A fan? If you have an extra one. I always wish for a fan bc when we stay at other people's homes I keep the door closed for privacy and it gets stuffy. Plus the white noise helps me sleep.

I haven't read through all the posts so forgive me if this is a repeat. I have an autistic child also and two with medical issues so we have our share of appts. I will share what has helped me get things under control and maybe there is something you can use. 1. multiple medical appts: Try to schedule all your appts in the same month. We have annual and bi annual doctors so we see everyone in December and again in June. We take both of those months completely off from school. That way I have time to also do some school planning, celebrate Christmas the way I want, and in June do some dejunking and organizing. 2. Accept that this is your life right now. That was a biggie for me, *wanting* things to be a certain way that was not realistic. My family is different and therefore our school/life is going to look different from other families. 3. Streamline. Streamine EVERYTHING you can including school. We have used audio history cds so the kids just listened in the car and we talked about it, and I would throw in whatever history I could find on Netflix, etc. Was it my dream history currciculum? No but they were still learning. We have also used computer based curriculum so kids could work independantly on some subjects. Other things we have done to streamline is: cut down on amount of clothing, have a meal plan, and have kids do most of the daily chores with everyone giving the house a clean up on Sat. 4. babysitter. My dh watches my kids for the afternoon on his day off so I can do school prep, meal prep, etc. for the week. If your dh is not available for that maybe grandma or a nieghborhood teen. It is amazing what I can accomplish when I am not being constantly interrupted by kids.:glare: It was hard for me to accept that I can't do it all, I just can't. Once I accepted that I started looking for ways to delegate and streamline and that is when our life really started shaping up.

yes and you could also: 1. Get up at the butt crack of dawn every day to drag your children out of their warm beds to wait on the bus (or multiple buses) 2.spend more time cleaning up puke and wiping snotty noses from all the extra germs they will be exposed to 3. Let's not forget combing nits out of their hair if it's lice season 4. Pester all of your friends and relatives to buy candy/flowers/ coupon books /or whatever each kid is selling 5.explain to your 10 year old what various explicit words and phrases mean, because he/she will hear them from other kids 6. Spend your "family" time helping your kids with homework 7. Dealing with horrible bratty behaviors and all variations of back-sass learned from other kids That just a small bit of what I remember from my days as a ps parent. IMO you have no time because you have a bunch of kids, kids are a huge time -suck regardless of what educational method you use. that bit that they are gone during the day flies by, It always felt like I rushed around and did a bunch of chores and then boom, they were back, grouchy, needy, and oh yeah it's time to make dinner, homework,baths,bed ( you have to get everyone up to get on that bus,remember?). At least this way you know where they are and that they're safe. :001_smile:

I read some of the posts but not all, in our house my husband does help a lot when he is here. He has a job that requirements change seasonally so sometimes I have lots of help and sometimes I have none. I realized when my youngest was born that I have to find a way to make things work when I am on my own. I do not have any outside activities during the day. That means we do not socialize much with other homeschoolers, but my kids are all in 2 extra curriculars each so we have many busy evenings. I have a basic meal plan, monday-mexican tues- italian wed-leftovers or sandwich night thur- breakfast dinner fri- pizza night sat- i cook enough to have both sat and sun, usually a chicken, or we may have hotdogs, just whatever i feel like having that week My oldest is my breakfast buddy,he makes breakfast so I can get the baby dressed and help my special needs son get dressed. He has been doing this since he was 9, we ate a lot of cereal before he learned to use the toaster and the microwave , lol. Then we do school, lunch, finish up any schoolwork, chores. The kids have chores, even the baby wipes the table! This will take some training but that is ok, it is a life skill and mom is not the maid. This setup gives me time to feel like a human being and not a slave. It felt like a spent years on my knees, picking stuff up, wiping spills, changing diapers, ugh. Teaching the children to work helped so much to make me feel happy and content instead of like the dog had it better then me!:tongue_smilie: I try not to get to the point where I am overwhelmed anymore. I have found if I let it get to the point where I am crying, wanting to run and hide, etc that a bubble bath and a chocolate bar ain't gonna cut it. It's better to go ahead and plan to have some bad days. I schedule some fun stuff every other week. It can be a field trip somewhere cool or if we're low on cash I like to plan a cooking day where we make yummy deserts or a craft day where we make some of those cute seasonal things in family fun magazine. For me it's stuff that makes me like being a mom, stuff I would miss if they were gone all day. I do think of homeschooling like it is my "job." So I have my professional interests and time that I spend working on that but after our schoolday is done it is ok for me to turn that off and just be mom, and pursue my other interests and hobbies. I hope this helps you!:grouphug:

haven't read all the replies so you may already know this, but they sell disposable underpads beside the pull ups. You can also use the washable underpads that they sell to go on cribs. This would be easier then stripping an entire bed I would think. The goodnites are the best option. My brothers had this problem all the way through high school. The 1 that lived with us had it the worst bc my parents made a *huge freaking* deal over it all the time. The ones that lived with thier dad did not have as much a problem, and I personally think it was bc in thier house it was just clean it up and move on. Sorry back to the point, underpads and pullups, and we always take an air mattress and that is what my special needs son sleeps on, I put a plastic sheet, regualr sheet, underpad, kid, sheet/blanket. I usually have to toss the pad, pullup, and top sheet. I replace those the 2 nd night and so on. It's better then completly stripping a bed every night and you only need extra top sheets, which we actaully pack ourselves and put in a plastic bag unless we are staying so long as to wash at the hotel.

Yes friends are important. At 5 years old though I think they have playmates rather then friends. Our family has not really "clicked" with many other homeschool families so the bulk of my kid's friends come from outside the homeschool world. When my oldest was preschool age we joined a playgroup that was at our community center. We also had neighborhood kids. As he got older and our family grew the kids have all been involved in various extra curriculars that suit their interests and have made friends there. We have found we prefer to invite families over rather then play "dates." Since husband and I like to socialize we make a point to "feed" those friendships that also benefit the children, by seeking out other families with kids. Whenever we plan an outing we will invite one or two families to join. Bowling, pool etc nothing fancy. We also have get togethers at our home frequently. Again, nothing elaborate, just coffee and cake with a DVD or roasting marshmallows with the kids playing in the yard. We have made many sweet memories over the years for us and the children this way.

Is this a single man? How old is he? Ask yourself why would ( a single man in his twenties, for example ) want to spend his weekend alone with a bunch of preteen boys? My husband would spend time with his own kids on the weekend, but most normal guys of any age don't spend thier weekends alone with 12 year olds that are not thiers. I personally would call the man myself and say "this is _________ mother and you are not to text or otherwise contact my son again. My son also told me you took him and some other boys on a car trip at ____ mission trip. That is completely innapropriate and I will be contacting (police, pastor, whatever action you are taking.)" Or if dh would do it. I would make it clear my son was off limits and make sure he KNEW we were suspicious. I would be wary of the baptism thing, does getting baptized at your church involve any sort of preliminary counseling that this person would also "volunteer" for?