I read ALL the answers and the messages carefully and I was touched by your sincere wish to help. I'll reconsider my decision about medicines, after the discussion with the therapist this week. However, I'm concerned that I'll turn into someone else once I get such treatment. Scoutingmom wrote it much better than I could have said it. Besides, there's a thought that keeps nagging me: is there no other way? I mean depression did not appear in our century, what did people do in other times? What will happen? Will we all get to rely mostly on meds for our more or less serious mental disorders? Don't get me wrong, though I tend to avoid drugs (in general) I wouldn't hesitate once I was sure THAT was the way to end this recurrent depression. On the other hand I can't help wondering what happens once you finish the treatment...

Thank you so much for your help. I think this post can be deleted.

I feel very grateful to you because you took the time to write about your personal experience, I'm even more grateful because I imagine that some of the lines you wrote were not easy to write at all. I feel I owe you an explanation for my request, so here it is. In our case it's me who's fighting the depression+anxiety (more or less successfully) by psychotheraphy whenever I can afford it, prayer and my friend's help. I'm still breastfeeding so I refused the medicines suggested by the psychiatrist, but I am using Saint John's wort tincture, together with trying to be active physically (whenever I have a free minute). I also refused the medicines because I'm not sure I trully need them, Our recurrent marriage problems have not been solved over the years, does that mean I need medicines... or do I need a solution for my life, to be able to live peacefully with myself and the people around me? I strongly question our relationship and it's not the first time, and I wonder whether I still love my husband or not. The fact that we have 3 children (under 10), that our financial status seems to always be on the point of collapse and that our parents would be devasted be a separation makes things even harder. My husband (who also goes to the same therapist to treat his anxiety issues) is a wonderful father, and a good husband (according to the majority's standards), however I don't feel comfortable or protected in our marriage, most of the times I feel I need to be the man of the house and I hate this. Plus I've become more aggressive and mean, which I completely hate. And yes, we did speak of this over the years, but with no big change... There are other issues, but I'm not sure it's a good idea to describe them.

I have no idea where the first post disappeared. There were 16 answers and I read them all. This morning I was preparing to reply, but I can't find it anymore. Did I post in the wrong thread? Was it deleted because it bothered someone? I just can't understand. Anyway, I am grateful to all the generous ladies that answered, I'm sure that for some of them it really wasn't easy.

I'm interested too so if anyone has more stories...

I was wondering whether anyone is willing to share their story about how depression affected their marriage... Did it make it stronger or did it break it? I'm standing at the crossroads and though no two lives are identical, I feel the need to read other people's experiences.

Thank you for the many suggestions you've offered! I'll have to write them down, the first being to reduce the parents' stress amount. I also think I should reread Sibling Rivalry by Adele Faber...

I was wondering how you manage to create a beautiful relationship between 2 sisters: one is 8 years and a half, the other is 4 years and a half and sometimes they can be so harsh with each other. Especially the older one. They both love the baby and treat him as nicely as possible but they only sometimes treat each other nicely... Any suggestions?! What do you do when conflicts arise?

Congratulations and may you enjoy many years together!!! Do you have a 'secret' recipe for such a fantastic marriage? It is so encouraging to hear about successful couples!

I pray to God to give you all back multiplied the help you offered me! I am grateful beyond words and determined to find peace with myself.

No such option here and the medical insurance does not cover it either. 4blessingmom the expectations-not just related to homeschooling, but to all areas of life- IS a real problem. They are high but I don't know how to lower them. What if I demand too little... LLMom I've started reading your encouraging blog,

Lisa, I should have been clearer: I refused to deal with any documents and enrollment procedures, but I do all the rest+ help with homework if needed (my husband helps with homework too). Homeschooling here is not legal but not illegal either :) we enrolled her in an American umbrella school for 2 years and the enrollment in our public school went smoothly. After talking to you on the forum I've been trying to find a psychologist, but they have such high rates that I wonder what middle class person can afford to pay them (:. Still trying to find a solution because I still want to enjoy the life given to me :).

Elizabeth, thank you for your help, but since we're only learning English as a second language and we're using The Ordinary Parent's Guide.... phonics won't be a problem. At least I don't have to worry about that :) I have others on my mind now. I do agree though that sight reading is not the best option when learning English...

I've checked the afterscool forum, so glad it exists! I'll see what I can do about the depression, it seems that's the best starting point. I am so grateful for your encouraging words!

I am amazed to see so many encouraging messages. Thank you, thank you! I am doing my best to be objective but it's really hard. I can't pretend that my husband was completely against homeschooling, but he definitely found it more like something optional while to me it was a way of living. I feel I have failed both as a mother, as a teacher and as a wife. And eating a bar of chocolate in 5 minutes is useless. We have no homeschooling families around (actually homeschooling is not quite legal so co-ops are out of the question) and the money we earn is spent on covering only the basic needs. Counselling is quite expensive here... And yes, I did my best to stay away from solving school related matters, I said it's none of my business on a very mean tone.