Jump to content



  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by Tap

  1. I did that this summer with one of those cans of lemonade powder. She was drinking a full pitcher a day. The Costco size can was gone in less that 2 weeks. I think I just need to only have water in the house. Which is best for her, but bad for me. I love having a glass of juice at night. It helps me sleep better. That is why I have tried to make it work with other items like juice boxes etc.
  2. They don't offer anything we haven't already tried. She has had some for of BT almost weekly since she was 4yo. The dietician will only get me so far, because she refuses most food and eats in secret. I have talked to OT/BT/feeding disorders specialists before and they just gave very general advice. She is just so complicated. UGH She doesn't' care about diabetes because it isn't real to her. If she has to go on insulin, she will refuse. She has PTSD level or paranoia about needles. Even weekly injections...not happening. Metformin bothers her stomach too much so she was taken off. Her A1C was 5.6. 2 years ago I am certain she is pre-diabetic now.
  3. The geneticist says she doesn't have it.
  4. LOL I already do most of that. I broke down and bought her Crystal Light about 3 weeks ago. She got made at me for something, dumped a glass on a brand new rug and on the regular carpet.😞 She admits it was on purpose. I now have permanent red stains on the rugs. When she was little, I would only buy clear or very, very light colored items to drink. I need to go back to that.
  5. When I asked them about help with life style, behavioral supports, etc. They said they only offer it to those on the path for surgery, so I didn't investigate further. They suggested finding a dietician or behavior therapist. She refuses to work with either. She refuses any raw veggie and will only eat limited fruit. If it isn't at its prime, she refuses to eat any of it. She will eat asparagus and limited broccoli/cauliflower, sometimes corn and that is it for veggies. I hide them in other foods, when I can. Cauliflower hidden in mashed potatoes etc. I use oat milk to make white sauce and she will eat more veggies if I put white sauce or cheese on them. I have to be careful with cheese though, because she was raised to have a sprinkle of cheddar on things like broccoli. If she serves/grates it herself, it is half a cup to a cup of cheese.
  6. She is at a full therapeutic day school. They all have an FBA and IEP. Every staff is trained for aggressive behaviors. Only kids with aggression/violence go there. She is often restrained and they talk her down daily from major outbursts. She is threatening more and more and has followed through several times. She once punched a large staff member in the face because he was telling her she couldn't go in a hallway (another student was struggling in there). He was a large man and she just pulled back and punched him. She got suspended the second day of school for threatening to punch principal in the face. She was restrained a few times and she was trying to leave campus. The principal and I are working together to keep her in school, but also working toward residential treatment for her. We need the paperwork to show her escalation and increase in violence. If she wasn't suspended that day, she would have likely escalated and punched someone. The next time that happens she is going to get arrested due to her age/size. The second times she was suspending it was for aggression, property destruction and vandalism. She drew up and down a long hallway with a marker and then illustrated several naked people, genitalia and cus words.
  7. She does have both. She struggles with this concept, but understands it enough if I base it on logical portions. We have little bowls that used for things like chips, dessert etc. I talk about a small cereal bowlful being a serving of most things. She will only eat out of bowls, so one regular bowl is a dinner portion. She has a tendency to grab mixing bowls for many things though if I am not home. 😞 We talk about mayonnaise for making bread not dry, and being lightly applied. We talk about dipping sauces being one squirt of sauce like salad dressing. etc. We have regular drinking glasses, but she used her own money and bought herself some 24oz plastic glasses (she was with her dad). We talk about those being water glasses. But I have seen her fill it with juice and chug it. I do try to discourage that behavior, talking about sipping juice etc. But she will do it in front of me, just to be obstinate if she is mad at me. She knows I can't really stop her, so she does it anyways. She won't weigh or measure. So everything needs to be more general. I sometimes do little things to make things less convenient. Like giving her a full serving of food, and then putting the rest away. Otherwise, she will keep going back again and again to keep eating. She is always drinking water, so little tricks like drinking before eating doesn't help.
  8. That is the plan! She was suspended twice in the first 2 weeks of school. I think she attended 2 full days over that time and a few half days when she was sent home for her behaviors. She then refused school for a week or two. Going back one hour a day was the compromise. We will increase from here, but so far she is refusing any more.
  9. There is no way to transport her. She can't ride with an Uber or such, due to her violence. She has to have someone with her and I am at work. Also, she is in weird age group where most classes stop at 13 for kids and start at 16/adult. Most special needs programs require an adult chaperone for people like her. I can't just hire an adult to accompany her, due to her violence.
  10. Yes and I agree to all the above. She has her blood draws done at Doernbecher (and attempts at Randall's children's), and they have been amazing. But she is large and violent when someone tries to get a blood draw. She has PTSD from when she was restrained as a little kid. We have to go and do full sedation like the do for surgery. We have tried countless other ideas and they have all failed. Seriously...we have tried all the conventional ways. The only one I have considered but not tried is hypnotism, but that would require her trauma to be resolved before it would work. She won't work with a therapist, so that is out. The best of the best have tried and she will only do a draw if she is completely sedated. The anesthesiologists are now refusing to do any more sedation for blood draws due to her obesity (breathing risk). That was about 2 years ago and about 25-50lbs ago. A blood drawn in this case is considered elective, so they can refuse. There is also data that shows that repeated use of anesthesia is not good for the brain.
  11. I am heading out the door to work so I only have a few minutes to answer. I will lump a bunch of answers here. Here school is a therapeutic day school, so they are supportive and provide phenomenal counselors, but she refuses to talk about anything with anyone so that option is out as a resource. They also know that the things she brings to school to eat, are picked out after I leave for work. She saw a geneticist, but they weren't terribly helpful. Mostly because she refuses to have blood draws. They tested her with a cheek swab for one issue, but it came back negative. They are willing to keep seeing her, but since she won't do a blood draw, it really limits what they can do. Her medications are managed by a psychiatrist. We have talked multiple times about the weight and med link. (I also work in pharmacy) We have changed her meds a few times to see if that helps, but doesn't make any difference in the long run. We have not tried weight loss meds because she is very high risk for some other issues. I know I need to work with how we talk about things. This is where I know we are at. But she refuses. That only leaves teaching her about nutrition and what a normal portion size is. She is a big girl, so I don't expect her to only eat a portion as described on a box. But, if she has cereal it isn't in a soup bowl, it is in a mixing bowl. ETC She doesn't have any known physical trauma, but she has been taunted about her weight since she was little by other children. Add in her autism, behaviors and everything mental, and she has had a very rough life. Since it just the two of us now. I have started greatly limiting the food in the house. Things like Juice, chips, ice cream are no longer around at all or in a very controlled, limited way. I know that surgery is an option in the long run, but we need to get the way she eats under control and see what happens there first. She needs to at least recognize there is a problem. BY working in pharmacy, I see so many patients who tried surgery and had it fail, because they didn't change how they ate in the long run. Thank you for everyone's advice. I really appreciate it!
  12. I know I will get some things wrong in this post, so forgive me if I use the wrong word or inappropriate vernacular. I have wanted to post this question for a while but figured I would be berated for doing/saying things wrong, so please be kind. It isn't meant from a mean place, just the place I am. DD14 is 5'11" and 325lbs (update 335lb, I just had her weigh). She is genetically my great-niece. Both of her bio parents have weight issues, but are average height and are maybe 5-100lbs overweight). She is on medications that make the situation worse, but honestly she was truly a big girl from birth. My x-husband and I are naturally tall, slim people and so are our bio-kids. I cook from scratch mostly and buy healthy ingredients (whole grains, lots of veggies/fruits, healthy meats etc). I know about nutrition but not diets (using that word in a very generic way) I also buy some junk food too, but in moderation. It was never a problem with my older kids but for dd14, she has very little self control. This is where I am struggling to find a balance. My personality, and my kids have always been the type to self regulate without much thought. No one was ever forced to eat the meals I prepared, they were always allowed to make thier own dinner instead if they desired. My older kids would have always picked a home cooked meal over a restaurant (unless it was a fancy dinner out). I never had food issues with them, so this is new territory for me, even though it has been going on for several years. I am in trouble with dd14. She is the complete opposite in most ways and since she was raised with the same standards/rules, I have completely ship-wrecked in regards to her diet. She craves different foods that my bio-kids...for instance I have exclusively bought whole grain/seed/nut breads for 20 years but she refuses to eat anything with a seed, nut or oat on it, so she will only eat white bread. (A habit she picked up in public school /bio-dads). If I don't buy her white bread, she refuses anything with bread. She loves fast food, to the point of asking for it every time we are out. Even lying about the last time she ate, to get me to buy it for her. She completely binge eats. She used to lie to me to cover it up, but in the past year, I have started calling her out her lies(not in a meal way). For example, she will eat a whole family size bag of chips in 1-2 sittings, and then tell me someone else ate them too. But when I check with others, they didn't eat any. Since dh and I divorced, it is harder to blame other people since it is usually just the two of us here (or maybe my son, who rarely eats snack junk food). One reason thigs are getting worse, is that I am encouraging her to cook for herself and to feed herself when I am gone. I am finding that she adds a large quantity of fat/cheese/mayonnaise to many foods that don't require it. For instance, she asks me to make fried potatoes quite often. I make them from scratch, but precook the potatoes in the microwave and cook them in a cast iron skillet, because it uses hardly any oil that way. I make them for her before I leave for work, and she eats them with eggs before school. The other day, I saw here get a huge tablespoon of horseradish then mix it with 1/4 to 1/2 cup of mayonnaise. Then she stirred that into the friend potatoes. 😞 I protested but she did it super fast and declared that she ate them that way all the time. I just didn't realize, because I am not there. Today, i asked where the lunch meat had gone that I bought 2 days prior. She ate the entire pound in one day. This was natural lunch meat that cost $9lb! Then told me she found a great new way to eat it. She is putting the meat in a bowl and using it to scoop up mayonnaise. 😞 No bread, just lunch meat and mayo. I guess I can not buy lunch meat but it was one thing that I thought was helping her make her own lunch. Now I wonder what she was taking to school? Meat and mayo? She doesn't even need a lunch, but insists on eating constantly, so so she takes a lunch anyways. I make her a hot breakfast every day (often 4 scrambled eggs) and she goes to school 30 minutes later. She is only going to school for 1 hour right now. She is taking 2 sandwiches to eat. She gets up at 7am and is home before 10am. I can make a healthier or lighter snack, but she just waits for me to leave and fills up her lunch box with anything she can find. Or will fill in from the snack cupboard at school. (Teacher provides snacks even tho they are high school because many of the kids are very low income and don't eat at home). I used to always have 3+ flavors of ice cream in the house when the older kids were around. I buy whole milk natural ice cream so my kids were taught a serving is a single scoop. It is rich, so for them, it was never a problem. She will sneak it and eat half a gallon in one sitting. I started buying her her own (milk free versions) but only buying pint size to help with portion control, and letting her know I will buy her 2 per month, so she can eat them fast or slow, but that is the limit. She ate them in 2 days. This past week, I bought her ice cream and the equivalent amount for ds and I. I wrote individual names on them, so she couldn't claim ignorance and eat them all. She proclaimed that it didn't matter what I wrote, she was going to eat them anyways. Dinners are 1/2 to 3/4 veggies, but that is only meal I am home to actually control what she eats. She sneaks around after I leave the room or go to bed to get more food. She only goes to school for 1 hour a day due to extreme behaviors, so she is home for 9 hours a day without me. I bought salad dressing for salads but saw the empty bottle on the counter barely 2 days later. In 1.5 days she went through a 16oz bottle, on chicken nuggets. I try to offer here things that include the ingredients she likes to teach her to use them in moderation (like blue cheese dressing on salad).But then it back fires and I am left stumped on what to do. Another example, I used to have juice in the house, but she will chug an entire pitcher in one afternoon. Literally, chugging glass after glass. I try to buy portion sized items to help guide her, like the juice Capri Suns, but then she just has more at one sitting. But just like this, salad dressings, and the chips, and the ice cream....I try to not buy (or greatly limit) items that seem to create problems for her, but then she just moves onto something else like mayo on everything. I asked the local hospital (OHSU in Portland Or) if they had a doctor who saw children who were obese for eating disorders and they called back and started talking to me about gastric bypass. NONONONONO, I want to help her learn to eat healthy, but I haven't found an local option for that. HELPPPPPPP! Remember, I am not home most of the day. I can't monitor her eating. I don't know what to do! We talk about healthy eating to have a healthy life. We talk about food choices and eating to fuel our bodies. We talk about not binging due to boredom and emotional state, but trying to find healthier alternatives instead. She doesn't see a problem with her size, but also doesn't like being obese. She understands, but doesn't seem to be able to make different choices. ETA: she refuses therapy of any kind. I need to solve this as much as possible with my own actions/conversations with her. When I say I need to know what to do...I mean it literally.
  13. A nice thing about this, is that if you like to decorate for the seasons or holidays...you can change the tray to match the theme. 🙂 Especially if you get wooden trays that are designed for painting. You can customize them for your own style with paint and decoupage.
  14. Try 'doll house' in your search. They are often very detailed and you may find a seller willing to give you a bulk deal if they have what you need in different sets. Maybe try this etsy seller. They mention handmade, but I am not sure if they handmake all the items. Maybe having a puppy version would be less specific and easier to fudge it a bit. If they are able to customize a bit they may be able to 'create' the breeds you need.
  15. I used a serving tray on my desk for years to contain items. Maybe that is what you need? The one I had was about 12x16 inches long, and 2 inches deep and was painted to match the desk on the outside but the inside had a beautiful image on it. https://www.wayfair.com/kitchen-tabletop/pdp/ivy-bronx-sultan-long-rectangular-tray-w000021834.html?piid=
  16. I would put a long couch table, side board or buffet table under the long windows to hold your books and other loose items. That way your counter stays clear and you have a place for the items that is close by. Then you could use the top to display some items without cluttering your counters. I just grabbed a quick idea off of Wayfair to show what I mean. https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/pdp/gracie-oaks-christensen-5197-wide-2-drawer-pine-wood-buffet-table-w002221501.html
  17. Like others, put them on Freecycle or other free groups. Say that you don't know what is complete or not (unless you do). If they are not gone in a week, toss them.
  18. For laundry baskets on stairs, I like the hip hugger style. This way I can still see the stairs and keep the load close to my body. The other style I like for small loads is the soft-sided plastic, collapsible style that has carry handles.
  19. For us, when the kids were little, I did laundry on one day. Everyone had thier own basket in their room. I sorted everyone's things, washed, folded on to my bed. At first I put them away but over time they put their own away when it was age appropriate for them to do so. When they were about 7-8 they started doing thier own laundry. Any special wash items were brought to my room or put in a delicate bag. The older fleece jackets were really bad about pilling so those were more of a concern 15 years ago than now. They washed and dried thier own laundry. I like to hang all the shirts, so they learned to lay them all in a stack on thier bed and I came in a hung them up in about 3 minutes of time. As they got older, they took over this step themselves. Having them do thier own laundry reallllllllly makes a huge difference! Do not mix clothes!!! Even if you do thier laundry for them, try this! It is so much easier. If they can't reach, either move your washers to be side by side instead of stacked, or put a plastic stool in there for them to use. I do not wash towels with laundry, ever! I hate pills on clothes!! We have 3 main types of towels. All the nice towels are exactly the same. White towels from Costco. Hand towels, wash clothes and bathmats for the main bathrooms are the same (except the downstairs guest bath). These go in the master bath and overflow in the hall cupboard. When I wash these towels they all get swooped up and washed together. The other bath ones we have are kid towels and go into the kid bathrooms. We have probably a dozen beach towels from the Disney store. They aren't bulky but are cute and the extra size is great for drying off kids. More of these fit in a load, because they aren't thick. We do have a few thick beach towels but they live on thier own, are for outdoor beach days only, and get separate wash because they are full of sand. Kitchen towels and the downstairs guest bath towels get washed together. I make sure the guest bath towels can handle bleach so I don't have to worry about that. I washed towels when I needed to, not always on the laundry days.
  20. I like the sound of the baritone chimes but only in limited quantities. The higher pitches are grating on my nerves since they are harder to ignore. We had a neighbor who had a small set for a while and while it wasn't completely obnoxious, it was annoying to have the neighborhood filled with sound for no reason. I feel the same way about people blaring music. People and animals aren't generally silent creatures. So, conversations, barks and cars/yard equipment are all part of a neighborhood. My problem with chimes is that they make noise for everyone outside, whether the owner is listening or not. Even with loud music, if the owner leaves or goes to sleep, they turn off the music. With chimes, they just keep going....constantly. Even if you think you will remember to bring them in on a windy day, it is really unlikely. Or forgetting them outside when people travel. Chimes are something that people seem to get a mental block to, so it is easy for the owner to kind of forget about them. We get a West wind in the evening here. When I get of work I like to sit on my patio and watch a bit of Netflix. Since that is when we get the daily wind, that is when I would have to hear the chimes too. 😞 I suppose I would get used to them, but it would just add more sound to an already noisy neighborhood. We live in a neighborhood without an HOA, so they are allowed here. But I think they are banned under most HOAs for a reason.
  21. You guys Rock! 🤣🤣🤣 I have a feeling I will be spending a lot of time on You tube while I make a very hard decision. LOL Then choke, when I try to find them on LP and an have to pay more for an old record, than a current one.
  22. DD22 loves things that are retro. Not because they are 'cool' but instead, she truly seems to be enjoy things that were classics....because they were amazing! When she was 5yo she started her love of shows like Bewitched, I Dream of Jeanie, MASH, Andy Griffith Show and other delightful entertainment. LOL She has a record player and listens to soft folksy music like Jack Johnson. For Christmas, I want to get her an album or two that is from the above mentioned decades. I am thinking maybe something like CCR, Stevie Nicks, Fleetwood Mac etc I think it would be fun to see if she enjoys the music, as much as the TV shows, from eras gone by. Anyone want to chime in with some ideas?
  23. It will be interesting. DD22 has called me 'MO' since she was in high school. When she and dsil talk about me, they call me "MO" so I am sure my grandkids will have a nick name for me too. Ds27 has called me mom since I can remember so I could see his kids going with a more traditional route. I am fine with whatever they call me. ~~MO comes from a Magic School Bus episode about sound, where they sing "LO de LO de LO" (alto voice) and "HI de HI de HI" (soprano voice). I started calling her "LO de LO" so she called me "MO de MO". Hence we call each other LO and MO. HAHA. She has always had some atypical nick name for me growing up, so I am sure he kids will too. 🤣
  24. I know they use it in Veterans but do they also use it in non-violent causes of PTSD related nightmares ?
  25. I have some level of nightmares or anxiety dreams every night. Any one found a way to reduce similar dreams? The only thing that helps is leaving a laptop playing shows I already know, so when I wake up, I can listen to it until I go back to sleep. Reading, music, podcasts or trying to meditate/lay quiet doesn’t help. Same result or worse. The dreams are anxiety or caregiver pTSD related.
  • Create New...