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flutterby

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  1. I am not certain of the "official" label, but there is something that refers to when a child is overly stimulated by just about anything. Sensory or sensitivity issues? Some of the issues you describe I could have just as easily thought you were talking about my ds who is 10. We went through a period of VIOLENT outbursts and just not knowing what to do... and that is with dh as a therapist. And "dropping it" to avoid an outburst isnt always possible. So you do what you do. You learn and you move on. We have worked sooooo hard on behavior mod, positive incentive, ignoring, you name it we have probably tried it. And if I am honest NONE of it seemed to be working at the time. But apparently our efforts have paid off. Are things perfect now? No... but better by a million miles. Thankfully I cant remember when he had his last physical outburst. Verbally he still kicks off occasionally, but he doesnt black out anymore and that to me is a miracle. He remains conscious of what he is doing and regrets it later. What came to mind when I read your original message was something that happened just the other night. I just recently discovered WTM and decided to switch our curriculum and follow this new path. Previously it had been a bit... completely... eclectic. Not unschooling, but just whatever I could find that I thought would be appropriate... it worked well enough until now. But he HAS to have structure. He knows every single morning exactly what is going to happen, how it will happen and when. For someone that was spontaneous like myself having a child who went berserk without structure, this took a lot of getting used to. So imagine the scene a few nights ago when I sat down after dinner and started to explain my new notebook system I had spent a week assembling... his eyes glazed over and I could feel his frustration building. "Mom, I hear the words but they are not going in. You might as well be speaking Greek." I started getting frustrated until I realized it was pointless. It would only end with the both of us in tears. So he asked if he could look it all over in his free time and then ask me about each section when he was in the space to hear it and understand it. Bravo to him for self-awareness. That is a HUGE step for us. It has been a few days and I am having to hold my temper in check as I am the type of person where everything seems obvious (except the UK testing system) and should not need explanation. He is the type where it may need to be explained in several different ways. Sometimes he needs to type out his stuff and others tell me verbally... though he is extremely articulate in his writing. I think you have gotten great advice from other moms here and I just wanted to through my hat in the ring as support. I know that for my ds it is critical that he be given the space, time and situations that HE feels support his understanding. That means that he doesnt do a lot of work at a table, but if he needs to he does. It also means that he cant do it if I am in the same room teaching his sister something. Or if he is asking a question he cant filter out other noises so I have to sometimes repeat myself. Or go to another room. I also have to get REALLY creative in my explanations, or when I just cant do it anymore... send him to dh. Who like your situation... they are both very similar... so that sometimes backfires into huge fireworks of neither one hearing the other. Yet other times because they ARE so much alike it clicks! I know it sounds rather simplistic and I am sure you have done this, but have you asked your ds what would work for him. If he knows that not doing it (unless there is a VALID reason for not doing it... and I do concede occasionally with a valid well thought out and articulated discussion) is not an option... what does he think he needs in order to be successful? What time of day is it easier for him to do it, where, how, with whom, for how long a time period? Does he recognize when he is losing it? Does he recognize what triggers his outbursts? Maybe asking him to keep a diary of what was happening just before the out burst and what other choices he could have made if he knew they are available to him. Sometimes I think our kids dont know they have other options available to them, or that what they are feeling and how they are reacting are not generally associated with "normal" behavior. Though on the flipside they can tend to carry a lot of shame and guilt about it as well. When my ds realized that we were on his side trying to teach him how to manage himself, things started to change, but I also think there was a certain degree of maturity with that. He is by no means perfect. Tonight he got mouthy, but quickly recognized he was exhausted not having slept well with the thunderstorms so thought he should go to bed... but then was still mouthing off on his way, trying to defend his decision... which no one was disagreeing with... oh well... baby steps. I apologize for the length... I could still share stories about dd and her stuff too... but that is enough for now... best wishes to you and always remember what works for one child may not work for another, and you know your precious angel best. I totally know that feeling of just wanting peace at any cost even if it means sending one to ps... but he sees the torture he would be in there and begs us not to give up on him. How can you argue with that? :grouphug: ~Jenn
  2. :001_smile: Yes thank you very much once again ~Jenn
  3. Hi Laura, I have tried to pm you twice and I am not certain it worked. I am new to using forums so apologies if it did work... :blink: I will get myself sorted out eventually. ..... hopefully... ~Jenn
  4. Laura, That would be a God-send. I will pm you. Thanks!
  5. Thanks so much Laura for your response, I thought maybe it was just me not "getting" the system. I too felt so much of the KS3 lacking. Someone mentioned to me about ds moving forward with at least the Biology IGCSE but I hesitated for want of knowing where to start really. And then with the recent mention that they may do away with the GCSE's I thought why bother. I know he would love to really have an achievement like that under his belt and I feel pretty confident he could do it, but then I am left wondering then what? But your comment has helped me to rethink my idea about doing the US middle school science, I think it would just frustrate him with its simplicity. It helps to know your son did just fine! Is your son then going ahead with the GCSE's or do you understand how this switch affects the curriculum yet? Thanks again for your assistance. :) ~Jenn
  6. Just wanting to say hello.... I am new to the forum and classical ed having done the eclectic (not unschooling) thing for awhile. DS is getting to the point that his voracious appetite for knowledge is more than I feel I can supplement without order and structure. So here we go... We are in an interesting situation as I am from the US originally and DH is British. So I have struggled for the last couple of years trying to wrap my head around the KS and GCSE and all of that. I am teacher trained in secondary science but something is lost in translation for me :confused: So I was so grateful when another local home ed mom showed me WTM. There are a few of us in the London area doing this now... but I am with those of you who also observed the huge unschooling movement and as both of my have ASD it just doesnt work for either of them or me quite frankly as we are also full time carers for my MIL. I am very very fortunate that my parents are quite happy to send me stuff from the US if I have it sent to them. But with a science curriculum I am still scratching my head :001_huh: ds 10 reading/comprehension is fairly advanced and he has done some flexibooks off kindle "for fun" in Biology and Chemistry only recently discouraged when he got to the part he needs to know calculus... I asked him if we could at least slow down to learn Algebra first. So I have given up on trying to sort out a UK Science curriculum and will now dilly dally with the US ones for a few weeks trying to decide whether to go "back" a bit to a middle school program or do a high school level Biology... We have been home educating for 5 years and I feel I was feeling pretty competent/confident in my abilities until now. DD 7 stretches me as well, but not as much. I think that is why I am so grateful for this program as it allows me to supplement on their respective levels and yet gives the foundation/structure I need for sanity. :lol: Anywho... great to see we are not alone. :D ~Jenn
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