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Seasider

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Posts posted by Seasider

  1. We're expecting winds up to 60 miles an hour starting overnight.

     

    I'm just so glad I had a 60yr old sycamore that was leaning towards our house (and my son's bedroom) taken down this week. Our ground is very saturated from rainfall. They're expecting lots of down trees in our area. I'm going to expect lost power as we have a lot of old trees in the neighborhood.

     

    We're not expected to get snow but I understand that they are predicting blizzard conditions for New England and the North Eastern Seaboard.

     

    Stay safe everyone.

    Am I remembering correctly that during your house-hunting phase, you commented about the trees that would likely fall in a storm at one of the properties you looked at?

     

    Y'all all stay safe and warm.

  2. (((Rach))) Been thinking about you.

     

    I did not learn the sex of my baby (and truly, didn't feel the need to ask, we had already decided to be "surprised" that pregnancy and seemed fitting), but there was/is a solid firm belief in my heart that it would have been a boy. I agree, naming really helps! It gave me a sense of the reality of it all, something to benchmark what happened, kwim?

     

    Feeling tired - even for longer than you might expect - is really normal. Hug on those cuddly kids and let them ooze love all over you, it's wonderful medicine.

    • Like 1
  3. There's no reason that I know of for her visit, she usually stays for only a week when she normally visit. Had I known she was not going to have an end date, I would've asked her to come at a more convenient time. Originally, we didn't even know she was in our state, DH's younger sister lives here also but, in a different part of the state. She was at her Dd's house but started feeling unwelcome because they were asking her when she was leaving, I suspect there's more to it than that. I thought about taking an early spring break but I don't want to do that because I'd still have co-op classes. I'm only homeschooling the youngest two, a high schooler and 4th grader, the older ones work and are doing college classes. Here's the thing, my mil likes to be useful but she also likes to complain, lol so she has made a meal, but she doesn't do any laundry or any of the other stuff.

    This is so nebulous. Sounds like she's been there more than a week? There's more going on. If I were you, I'd be totally straightforward.

     

    "MIL, what's up? Is everything ok in your world? Are you sick and making your farewell tour? Did you get evicted from your permanent residence? Are you lonely? There's something underlying your lack of a schedule and we need to talk about it, because the kids and I have a schedule and things are not working well like this. Talk."

    • Like 20
  4. Unfortunately, fortunately, my dh is retired. So picture me trying to rush through school so she's not sitting on the couch alone while he's in the bedroom gaming, lol

    Yikes! I'd be pulling the plug on that!

     

    What if you just packed a suitcase, tell them how thankful you are that they're both there to watch the kids, and....voila! Vacation! 😄

     

    Seriously, though, I can see why you are frustrated. I hope you are able to get back to normal soon.

    • Like 8
  5. (((Rach)))

     

    Be gentle with yourself. Take the time you need to grieve. I pray telling your children will go as smoothly as possible. IME, it was a difficult thing to do, but very bonding for our family. It's okay to let them see your tears. They will love you so well.

    • Like 6
  6. I've seen similar articles.

     

    One thing about being kicked outside all day. I was and so were my friends. We were pretty free to wander throughout our suburban neighborhood, going from house to house. During those days, where I lived, there was almost always a mom home in every house, and we knew everyone. If anyone got in trouble, help was available. Conversely, any misbehavior would most likely be witnessed, and reported back to our parents.

    Truth!

    • Like 1
  7. ....it permanently changed my relationship with my Mom, so know, your kids are watching and paying attention to how you deal with it too. I’m not saying that to come across in a negative way- but as an adult child watching how my mother did and did not cope with the situation, there was no way for it not to color the way I saw my own mother afterwards.

    :(

    Could you describe this a little more fully, please?

     

    ETA I guess what I'm wondering is whether the perceptions you drew as a child/youth changed as you grew older and came to understand that these situations are often way more complicated than they may appear on the surface. (Of course your situation may not have been affected by other factors, just wondering.)

    • Like 2
  8. Just another thought ... are you sure it is a long term cognitive issue? Or could it be related to pain medication, a possible UTI, or simply, the stress of recovering from the fracture. All of these can hamper the cognitive function of an elderly person. BTDT with my mom. We had a better relationship in her later years, but there were some trying times. I did have to treat her being difficult the smell way I would treat a toddler. Patience and understanding. I tried to see things from her point of view. And ... a big help here ... I insisted that she allow for help. I was homeschooling younger children and I could not take care of her and be a parent, let alone get any homeschooling done.

     

    Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

    This is an excellent point. Hospital delirium is a real thing and not quite the same as dementia. Please try to get a consultation with a neurologist.

     

    I also agree with the suggestion of making sure the right documents are in place - POA, your name on HIPPA releases, that sort of thing.

     

    Do not beat yourself up. Caregiving is very hard. Being her advocate is a wonderful gift - that in itself is a Big Thing.

    • Like 8
  9. I recently shopped for a piece of furniture and took a photo of an item I liked in a furniture store.

     

    After that, I started getting pop up ads on fb and safari for very similar items ( size, shape, unique color). I had never searched the web for such an item in my device. All I can think is that fb has access to my photos.

    • Like 1
  10. Thanks. She's moving into a care home after a spell in hospital. The family has reached the limit of its mental resources, so the move is the right thing. She's not happy, and who can blame her? She will have a lovely large room in an old mansion, with views over an estuary to the hills in one direction, and up the river in the other. The carers seem human and it's only 20 minutes from home, so I can keep an eye.

    Laura, you have served her so well. Enjoy a season of self-care with no regrets! You have earned it.

     

    And her placement actually sounds marvelous.

    • Like 2
  11. Why would that make you weird? :-)

     

    I read it and handed it off to my husband. Then our son started it but didn't care for it. So I could see it as a movie date night. I don't even remember the last movie date night; probably before we had kids.

    I think there's so much narrative at the beginning, it's a slow start. But the background had to be laid. My son gave it to me after he finished it and I wondered that he stuck with it long enough for the action to start.

     

    I personally am enjoying the blast from the past (not completely finished with the book yet). Cline (and the Stranger Things writers) hit a gold mine of a target market. It appeals to us for the nostalgia, the younger ones for the gaming culture & action, and to all for its David-vs-Goliath elements. And a Spielberg film. Date night!

    • Like 1
  12. Thanks, all. You kind of confirmed that I'm not crazy to think this was outside of normal.

     

    MIL is a crazy, must follow etiquette, do it how it should/should not be done, make sure we look good to other people type of person, so SIL isn't clueless. She's also not flighty. She is completely type A, planning the entire wedding, which is also being held at MIL's home, and has spent most weekends there prepping the place (painting, landscaping, etc.) for months. It will be very Martha Stewart, top of the line, no expense spared event. This family is not at all about potluck gatherings. I think that's why I was so surprised. Honestly I thought it would be catered--it's more their style. And Garga, I think you are right. I think we will all be expected to play a part in the wedding work as well. IDK, it's not really how I roll. I would for sure accept and even probably ask my sister, mother, best friend to help if it were me, but I'd consider everyone else to be a guest to the party.

    In that case, I might reply by saying oh so sorry, I don't remember committing to bring food, we are actually going to XYZ the (hours, days) before arriving at the shower so we won't be able to assist you in catering this event. Hope that's not too inconvenient for you.

     

    I understand it you may be agreeable to bringing something, but this reply would kind of set the tone for your possible reply to future expectations.

     

    And fwiw, I understand etiquette perhaps "evolves," but for someone who is accustomed to following the normal rules to suddenly bend them all at her own convenience....yeah, weird.

    • Like 4
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