Jump to content

Menu

Seasider

Members
  • Posts

    9,181
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

Posts posted by Seasider

  1. I did not have bronchitis until suddenly, a few years back, I developed a pollen allergy. Before it was diagnosed and treated properly as an allergy, I would derail into bronchitis and be treated with antibiotics. By the third or fourth time in a year, my doc finally said these episodes had to be connected and started me on an antihistamine and nasal corticosteroid, which I now take when seasonal allergy symptoms start to bother me. I haven't had bronchitis since.

  2. I agree with you that her behavior was completely inappropriate. I don't think she should be a judge engaging in that kind of behavior. I don't condone it when men do it and I don't like it when women do it. Why is it so hard for people to keep their mitts to themselves?!?

     

    That said, I don't think that says anything about those who rail against that behavior on the part of powerful men at all. Those advocates didn't kiss the guy or, so far as I know, excuse her behavior. Why would they get a black mark, exactly?

    Sorry if I confused. I did not mean to say that she put a black mark against the whole movement. I meant to communicate that she was acting in a way that reveals she herself loses credibility if she wants to be in league with those standing against harassment. I'd think one of the strong women standing against harassment would have a hard time endorsing Perry's AI antics. That she is counter to their message.

     

    Hope that better communicates my thought.

    • Like 1
  3. The headline doesn't tell the tale. The end of the article does. This guy is in the classic can't-win position. If he claims harassment, would it hinder his future in the music business? Even if not a great singer, he could have a career as a songwriter, musician, etc. Unless a powerhouse like Perry gets him blacklisted.

     

    And is this what we want for our sons, daughters, loved ones? That harassing behavior is defined *only* by the victim? Whose ability to speak plainly without consequences may be compromised?

     

    I am honestly not such an outspoken advocate, and roll my eyes at a lot of the ridiculous exhibited by those in the entertainment industry. But, as evident from the last year of media coverage, celebrities, especially women, have taken up the battle cry against such behavior. Perry's behavior here is a black mark against those standing up against harassment and should be called out as such. I sure hope this year's AI viewers are willing to switch channels and let the production company, network, etc know why.

    • Like 1
  4. A power imbalance doesn't make something predatory. That's just not what it means.

     

    Is Katy Perry a predatory person in that way? It's possible, but I don't know enough about the way she usually behaves to say that seems to be the case. My impression is she does whatever gets her public attention, but I don't know if she is normally thoughtless about how that affects others.

     

    Really, if something is bad or inappropriate or cause problems, there is nothing to be lost from saying why that is without imputing individual motives that aren't accurate.

    She did this to the guy immediately before his audition, which she would sit in judgment of. She raised her arms in victory for the stolen kiss. Her sexually aggressive behavior towards contestants has been documented (and flaunted, in additional poor judgment by AI's producers).

     

    FWIW, I am not the one who used the term "predatory" so I will not get sidetracked into a discussion of that definition. However, her actions fall into the clearly established parameters of sexual harassment.

     

    http://www.un.org/womenwatch/osagi/pdf/whatissh.pdf

    • Like 7
  5. Was it a mushy kiss?

     

    I don't have a problem with social kisses, but I think mushy kisses are kind of rude in that setting. It's one thing to misjudge on a date, but that is not the same as someone you don't know in a social setting.

     

    But it's true that women are given more leeway on that then men are. Madonna did the same to Drake a few years ago IIRC.

    It was an unwanted kiss. Not cute, Katy Perry. I hope she feels significant repercussions from this. IMO, has lost her credibility to make a stand against inappropriate treatment of women in the entertainment industry. She can be a #metoo, but she just put herself on the perpetrator side of the hashtag.

    • Like 4
  6. I would not call that behavior normal.

     

    I hate to say not all boys... but my middle school boys and their male friends would never in a million years have acted like that. None of the middle school boys I know now would. The majority of the middle school boys I've taught - and I used to be a middle school teacher - would not have acted like that.

     

    I would actually term the second incident where she was physically restrained an assault. I would not normalize these events to her at all. This is not boys will be boys. That's not even a thing. No one should physically restrain someone to aid in trying to hurt them. My kids play capture the flag with their friends - mixed gender groups sometimes - and it does not ever get like that. She needs to know that she doesn't deserve to be treated that way and that no one should lay hands on her like that.

     

    I don't know what the group is - a co-op? something else? - but it sounds like a group with some toxic behavior patterns going on.

    Same and I agree.

    • Like 4
  7. Grief is not linear. It doesn't wane on a gradient. Give yourself room to process the random jabs and waves of emotion.

     

    It sounds cliche, but time can truly soften the raw edges.

     

    I'm sorry for your losses, and how close and real they seem at this moment while the estate business is being handled. Gentle hugs.

    • Like 5
  8. OP

     

    I don't think you sound defensive at all. The hive is great at giving suggestions and solving problems. However, the hive also has a tendency to go beyond the scope of the question and ask more questions or answer questions not asked. Sometimes/often times this is helpful, because it helps the OP see a different option. Other times, like this one, going beyond the orginal question is not helpful, because every time a question is asked/suggestion have to say it is not allowed by your son's employer. (I guess standing/pacing for 8 hours might be allowed, but I don't think that by itself would keep a sleepy person awake. I say might, because my oldest's lifeguarding job required her to sit in the lifeguard chair, so no pacing.

     

    I don't think this job is right for any one.

    I for one am glad we went "beyond the scope" of the original question. The additional information gained resulted in my change of opinion from unimpressed that he fell asleep on the job to get that poor guy out of an unsafe work situation.

    • Like 1
  9. I thought so, but I wasn't sure.

     

    How confident are you in the diagnosis? Have you had a full physical with your primary care recently?

    Not to beat a dead horse, and I think I may have asked this before, but you've seen an ophthalmologist as opposed to an optometrist, right? Have they assured you there's no corneal damage?

     

    If so, you might want to look for a blepharitis specialist. Perhaps a university hospital clinic. Everything you describe, right down to the part about things feeling better with contact lens, sounds like anterior blepharitis.

  10. '

    I prefer Miss Manners myself.

     

    one reason registries are getting more popular is people aren't marrying from their parents home where they have nothing. and people really are more spread out so it's less common to talk about the "i need __ to set up a household". .

    Well tbh this makes me less inclined to look at the registry, because for a couple that has already established houehold(s) because they've lived independently for years, it seems more of an "I WANT" list. I bite my tongue, though. Dh and I have a standard gift we like to give, actually there are about 4 things. We decide which of those options suits the particular couple and voila, done. Each of these are nice but easily returnable/exchangeable.

     

    Funny, last time we used a registry it was dh's wish to do so. So I just went along for the ride, so to speak. To this day (more than a year down the road) he is still perturbed that he took the time and effort to go out of his way and send just what they wanted, but that gift has been in no way acknowledged. Nada. Now it's back to our standard options.

  11. He works 5 a.m. to 11 a.m., but his replacement is routinely up to 2 hours late, hence the 8 hours. Somehow that's not fireable, but since his shift is 6 hours, they don't need to give him a lunch break. If he needs a bathroom break, a member of the maintenance staff covers for him, usually at some point when the pool is empty.

     

    So, our state has 2 different kinds of lifeguard jobs. One is the kind you see at Great Wolf Lodge, where someone is actively guarding, and then there are rules about how often you have to rotate them out, etc . . .

     

    But the other is what I call a "pool babysitter". They check the pool chemicals, and stay in the pool area and are responsible for calling 911, and doing CPR, but they aren't technically watching the pool, so they don't need breaks etc . . . and someone CPR trained can cover for them.

     

    At the pool at our building the "pool babysitter" reads most of the time, and apparently that's legal, but DS's company has decided it gives them a bad reputation if someone looks in the window and sees the lifeguard reading.

     

    DS does watch the people swimming. It's the most exciting thing he has to do, beside mopping, but it's not quite the same as a lifeguard at a large public pool.

    I'd advise him to resign. The fact that his replacement is two hours late is not his error. His being required to stay without a lunch break seems like some sort of reportable violation to me (I mean his employer being reported, not him, like to OSHA something).

    • Like 13
  12. A tongue tie can prevent one from doing that conscious and subconscious self cleaning that we all do with our tongues around our teeth. I might suspect this especially if it's primarily the back molars getting cavities.

  13. Because 8 hours of walking back and forth is a lot.

     

    Maybe that's what he needs to do, but you can see why he'd be tempted to sit down.

    You know, this sounds like a really unsafe setup. Eight hours seems way too long to expect someone to remain energetic and attentive.

     

    Who covers him for bathroom and lunch breaks? Does he have to close the pool?

     

    (I am actually just curious now.)

    • Like 15
  14. There isn't anything else to do. He's supposed to clean the pool deck once. He's been doing it twice, beginning and end of his shift, but at some point it would be ridiculous. He can't go clean somewhere else, because he isn't allowed to leave the room with the pool.

     

    I'm not sure how else he could be industrious in that circumstance. Do you have suggestions?

    I'm mostly just playing devil's advocate, looking at things from the employer's perspective. It honestly sounds like a very boring job and I can see how one could be tempted to rationalize napping between swimmer visits. But that's obviously not ok.

     

    If he decides to stick it out, maybe he should ask for some additional responsibilities. Perhaps there's some not-obvious task they could give him to make better use of his time while on their clock.

    • Like 6
  15. Swimmers or none, I can't imagine there being anything in the job description about being paid to sleep on the job. There's an old saying among hourly workers: if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean. In other words, sleeping/slacking on the job is not something an employer generally wants to pay for. Desirable employees find ways to be industrious.

    • Like 15
  16. "Sophia" is the Greek word for wisdom. It functions both as a normal noun (describing the concept) and as a proper noun (as personification, or as a reference to an intangible being, or as an aspect of the Trinity, or as an aspect of one of the persons of the Trinity).

     

    As such "Sophia" has been in and out of the Christian tradition (in various forms) for the majority of Christian history. It is possible that there is contact with traditions within second temple Judaism (Greek speaking).

    Thanks bolt. I was thinking of Sophia (as mentioned above) as akin to Lilith as a personality - stemming from Judaism, I think - and wondered if she were (as mentioned above with a capital S) a similar character.

  17. I view Eve as being the earthly counterpart of Sophia (the feminine face of God) and the essential precursor of Mary. Sophia being our spiritual mother, Eve being our earthly mother and Mary being the mother of God. The roles of these mothers are vital and interconnected. Each needed the others to fulfill their purpose. I'm not sure we can fully understand Eve without also understanding these other women.

    What faith tradition does Sophia come from?

    • Like 1
×
×
  • Create New...