To me, that doesn't look like a multi purpose room. It looks like a bedroom with a sitting area. IME, living in places with low ceilings, you really want to keep your furniture height at less than 50% of ceiling height. Otherwise the room look crowded (but I really prefer the open, airy feel).

"Mom, you have 1 minute to give me all of your political ranting for today. Then you're done. If you talk political I will hang up. Feel free to call back when you're done with politics for the day."

I think she has to communicate with MIL, because if she cuts MIL out, MIL and DH will continue to make arrangements that OP is cut out of until it's too late to do anything about it. It sucks, but at least this way she's still in the loop. In fact, I would be trying to cut DH out of the loop so that I would know I am not being undermined.

That's like saying by refusing to play on the freeway I am just avoiding an untimely death. Well, yeah. Duh. That's called common sense.

Which is totally acceptable! It's one thing to confront someone directly about some grievance of a reasonable nature that has a reasonable chance of being resolved. This isn't that. This person is an abuser and avoiding contact is the appropriate response. Frankly, I would be STUNNED that any counselor would be willing to actually host this session with the child involved.

1. Clearly your DH lacks imagination. Avoiding people forever really isn't that hard. 2. The man is not allowed on the property. Period. Just because your MIL is the landlord doesn't mean she can bring whomever to your home. Call her back and say he is not to be on the property and that if she brings him on the property you will have him arrested for trespassing and will tell the police precisely WHY he is barred from your residence. 3. I think you need to move. Having your landlord be a problem in-law is no good.

We never do anything for Valentines day (we're not that old, but I think we are natural born fuddy duddys). But your thing sounds awesome.

So, we need a new roof, and I'm completely in the dark about how much money it's likely to be. Our house is roughly 50'x38' rancher. Basically all one low-slope, simple roof with a small dormer/porch over the front door. Can anyone ballpark the cost of this for me? We live in the mid-Atlantic if that helps.

:iagree: Try to fold the exercise into something else. I think sleep is a huge thing and I wouldn't give up sleep for anything. Also, taking the kids outside to exercise (even if it's just walking around the neighborhood or yard) will allow them to burn off more energy in a not-in-your-face way. I actually instruct my kids to yell and scream and run outside. Then I demand inside voices inside. The inside of a house should be calm and quiet, not silent, but quiet. There is no reason that being in one's home should feel like being under the big top. It's ok to tell your kids to lower the volume or stop talking entirely. It's ok to require them to behave with calmness indoors. It's ok to tell the kids that you aren't interested in (fill in the blank stupid kid thing) and they have 30 seconds to talk about it, then they have to leave you alone about it. I say all of this because I wonder if part of the problem is that you are just putting up with too much and need to put some deliberate boundaries in place, rather than reactionary ones?

Most hotels also won't rent to under 21s.

If it was put in to protect the water heater, that means that you have lots of minerals in your water. If you bypass it calcium and lime will build up on the water heater elements and eventually ruin it. We have this issue with our water and we torch a water heater every 5-7 years. I would check the salt brand you are using and make sure that it's not got added chemicals. Salt, by itself, shouldn't cause your problems. I would also look at the interior of the system and make sure it's functioning properly. They can develop what's called a "salt bridge" which essentially means that salt has crusted up in such a way that the salt isn't mixing into the water that rinses the beads, which means the beads aren't getting cleaned properly. Also, the beads themselves break down over time and need to be replaced. If yours are old, you might be reacting to very tiny bead particulates.

I would go with light blue or light grey metal and paint the brick white (which on a rancher is an easy DIY job).

1. The oldest. STOP taking her back and forth to work. She can buy a bike or walk. The fact that you butt heads is irrelevant. Don't butt heads with her. Just inform her that she is now responsible for handling this on her own (you can decide, in your mind, to drive her in really crummy weather, but don't tell her that up front). Just refuse to talk about once you've informed her. Also, present her with a list of non-negotiable (and SUBSTANTIAL) chores that she must do, without being reminded, as rent. Inform her that failure to comply will result in a notice to move. She's an adult. An extra adult living in your home should be a positive help, or they should get out. 2. Take the 2 year old to the doctor. If the doctor says there is no problem, empty that kids room of everything except beds and dressers and put a lock on the outside of the door. When it's naptime/bedtime, matter of factly put the child to bed and leave. Insert cheap ear plugs (which will reduce the painful noise level, but not make you unable to hear the child), leave, and lock the door. Let the child shriek for however many hours their energy level holds up. Under no circumstances open that door, or allow it to be opened, while the child is screaming. If you are worried about the child getting hurt, install a video monitor, so you can keep an eye. Yes, the child will be tired and worse for a few days. But you must teach the child that screaming for attention will never again work. I know some people object to locking children in their rooms. I think they are completely wrong. It's a bedroom, not a dungeon. They will be fine. 3. Look at Homeschool Connections for outsourcing. For $30/mth you can get unlimited access to TONS of recorded online courses. It's Catholic, but you don't have to be to use it. 4. Once you have the 2 year old sorted to at least an hour of quiet time each day, use that time to take a nap, or at least lock yourself in your room for some peace. Let the other children know that you are not to be disturbed unless they are bleeding or something is on fire (we call this the "blood or fire" rule and it applies to when mommy is in her room, on the phone, speaking to another adult, or in the bathroom). 5.The messiness: A. Some of the things that you've described in posts need to go back on your non-negotiable list, just like homeschooling (hair brushing, breakfast dishes, etc.). Daily care of basic things needs to be a part of your homeschool. It's part of your job to teach your children to be civilized, which means you brush your hair in the morning, you don't leave your dishes on the table, you put dirty clothes in the laundry, etc. B.Some stuff, like making beds, or cleaning bedrooms, just drop it. Assuming that the bedrooms are functionally messy, I would ignore it for now. If they are such a mess that you can't function, then there is too much stuff. Each kid should have no more stuff than they can take care of. I think 3 toys for small children and no more than 10 for older ones. Personally, I prefer toys not to be in bedrooms, but I know some people don't have space in the main areas.

My son is at Thomas Aquinas. You would be welcome as a protestant. I mean, they make no bones about being very Catholic, but they have had protestants come and be comfortable, because they want the classical curriculum and the good atmosphere. I've heard there have even been a few muslims for the same reason. Santa Paula is about 6 miles away, so easily reachable if you have a car. You could also check out Wyoming Catholic. Very similar, and they have a horse program which is sort of unique. It's where I would go if I got to choose now. St. Johns is nice, but very expensive (even by private school prices) for us. Plus my son wanted some place truly Catholic. The thing that I would say is take a look at their curriculum and the books that they use before you decide to go. While it's far more classical than the typical modern university, it's not really classical in the traditional sense, and their book list includes a lot of fairly modern books. They aren't "bad" books, but if you are looking for serious classical, it might not be what you want. You can find their curriculum and book list on their website. Downtown Annapolis is nice, and you'll be literally around the corner from the Naval Academy. If you can take a car, you can come over to the eastern shore beaches (where I live) when the weather warms up in May. The water will be too cold or swimming, but you'll be able to swim in Aug, and some years Sept, if you care about that.

If she had a panic attack because she went snooping into your stuff, that is her problem, not yours. Why are you taking responsibility for the consequences of her actions? You said, "I didn't realize parenting an adult was so hard....". Stop parenting her! She is 24 years old! Treat her like an adult - because she IS an adult. I get that you feel attacked, but if you can put that aside for a moment, I think what you need to realize is that your misery over this situation is entirely self inflicted. You are miserable because you think that you can change her mind and therefore change her behavior. You can't. It IS NOT possible. You will never reason with her. If she was reasonable a 1 minute conversation about the bathroom would have done the trick. All you can do is change YOUR OWN reality. This is a self inflicted misery. Stop trying to change your daughter. Change what YOU do instead.

Really? You let her live for free in your home. You provide her with groceries. You do her laundry. You require nothing of her (asking and HOPING she does it is NOT a requirement). You ask and she threatens, and she gets what she wants. Her attitude isn't a mystery. She is doing what works. You need to stop making it work for her. It's not kind. The world isn't going to coddle her this way.

Doing things that move the jaw wide and put varying pressure in the ear help. Chewing gum, opening the jaw wide like you are yawning, etc. If you have an easy chair it's also helpful to sleep semi-upright, so that the fluid doesn't build up on one side. None of that will necessarily cure, but it will likely get you some pain relief.

You say she pays for her own stuff - does that mean her PORTION or her own? I mean, is she on your cell plan? Using your internet? Is she on your car insurance or does she truly have her own policies and cell plan? First, I would stop doing anything for her, at all. I wouldn't even buy groceries for her if she put money in my hand while I was on the way to the store. She doesn't want to play on the team, she doesn't get team privileges. Second, I would have a list of requirements (which, apparently, in your mind, amounts to nothing more than clean the bathroom). I would let her know that if she violates the requirements, even once, you will drop her from all shared things in the house (cell plan, car insurance, internet, whatever). No warnings, no nagging, no discussion. She will just find out that her phone suddenly no longer works. Her 2nd violation would result in a 30 day notice to move. Look, whatever you give her now or don't isn't going to change how she treats you after she moves. Maybe she'll disappear for a while, maybe she won't. But giving into her terrorism isn't going to change that. So, stop living like a hostage in your own home! Also, once she moves out, turn her room into something else. In fact, go knock on her door right now and take some measurements for the renovations. Don't be nasty, but make it known that you are already planning your life without her.

I agree with all of this, except the laundry hamper part. She can buy that herself, if she wants it. Tell her you are no longer doing her laundry and if you find it in your laundry you will assume she doesn't want it and throw it away, and that this is the only time you are going to talk about it. Then DO it.

Do you live in my neighborhood? We have the samething, because it's very rural and near the water, we have poor people living right up close to rich people. One house is about $110K, one block away a shack half the size with no real yard, but on the water, is $300K. Around the corner, a $2M house.

Yup. It's just like in marriage. When you hear two people fighting over some stupid thing, and you can't believe how ridiculous they are being over something so relatively minor. That's because people like to fight about topics, rather than issues. The topic could be "you didn't pick up the dry cleaning" but the issue is "you are unreliable and I resent being married to someone that I can't count on".

Well, that's where the info gathering comes in. The only way you are going to know is to get a GOOD, full time realtor in to give you comps. Get them to comp you the house in it's current condition and in a renovated condition. Offer to pay them a couple hundred bucks for their trouble, and be upfront that you aren't sure if you're selling yet, and that you don't have a timeline. Depending on what the realtor tells you, you then want to talk to a contractor and find out what it will really cost to reno. Then talk to the bank and find out what your finance options are.

That is exactly what I did. We have a very good friend who I've known for 15 years who also homeschools. I told my dh that if I die, just ask her what to do about eveything, because we think alike, and she will want to help. I also picked out a good boarding school, just in case.

You need to figure out what you could likely sell it for. If that number is $130K, you will definitely lose money because of loan fees and renovation over runs. Indeed, you should add probably $5K for renovation overruns. So let's say with loan fees, realtors fees, and reno over runs, you need to sell at $140K to break even. What is the point of breaking even? You've just worked for your buyer for free! You did the work, they got the house. Uh, no. So now let's say you need to profit at least $5K for the few months of work you are probably looking at. So now we know that in order for this to make sense, you need to sell at $145K. How likely is that? How upset will you be if you don't sell, or don't sell quickly? I would probably sell as-is unless I felt sure that I could sell QUICKLY at $145, or within a reasonable time frame at $150K.

A church hall? A community center? A park with a rented pavillion? But you didn't answer my question: why is it important that it be done?