OMG, you must know my relative. No, there is no fix. The problem is not a lack of knowledge, it's a lack of desire to live differently (unless live differently means winning the powerball). My best strategy is to act deaf when they talk about finances. When I listen and respond I regret it every. single. time.

My oldest son is 6'10" He literally hasn't been able to go out in public for years without someone asking him how tall he is and if he plays basketball. People will literally chase him down in the store, as if they were running to catch an airplane, just to ask. Sometimes, just for the heck of it, I will count how many asks in 1 trip. He's very gracious about it, but I keep telling him I will give him $5 if he replies with "what is basketball?" I mean, I get that most people don't see such a tall person very often (though it's not like there aren't plenty of them out there), but it never seems to occur to them that it's not new to him. My husband says he just makes people lose their filter. I've seen people in the grocery store slow down and go "OMG!". It is literally every time he goes in public. If I'm doing errands I have to account for so many minutes of driving, so many minutes in the store, and so many minutes of listening to strangers extoll on my son's height. Gets old.

I'm so sorry. I hate feeling that way, too. If you can, try to take a nap. It won't solve your problems, but it will help you cope with tonight.

I do not like text conversations. It feels broken up and disjointed to me, totally unnatural. Plus I feel like I can't do anything because I'm constantly being interrupted by the stupid text alert. I don't mind text for real messages (get milk, running late, etc), but if you want to talk, then let's TALK. I also don't pretend that I can multitask while I'm on the phone. I might occasionally do something brainless, if it's at hand, but I don't put pressure on myself to be productive while I'm on the phone, either.

Thank you for this. I have a pear of cut off yoga pants that I use, but they have seen better days and I've been wondering what I would replace them with.

Which is all fine, as long as you understand that others aren't weird just because they don't necessarily want to live with their kids for the rest of their lives, or even for very long into adulthood. I love my kids. There are no major issues with my kids. But I will be happy to have them out on their own, too. I don't really want to have a 25 year old living in my house.

Federal loans up to (I think) $7500/yr, so nowhere near enough for most schools. Almost all other loans require a parent to cosign, because the student has nothing that makes them credit worthy.

I think there is a lot of justifiable fear of the "basement dweller", too. Far too many of us have seen adult children living at home, being useless, not doing much (or anything), and having their lives totally stall. I have a cousin in her mid-30s whose parents allowed (I daresay even encouraged, because of how messed up they are) this dynamic. She's still living in her childhood room like a 15yo, complete with video games and stuffed animals. She hardly ever held a job, and nothing more ambitious than sales clerk. There was nothing wrong with her, other than a lack of ambition and need for guidance. But her parents allowed it to continue, and now she's so far in the hole about it (emotionally) she can't even begin to deal with it. I pray for her all the time that she will get some counseling, but she's passive and her parents don't really care. I can't imagine what will become of her when they die, or if they should have a falling out. No, I am not at all saying that all young people living at home are that. But that is the fear that drives people, I believe, when they talk about tossing their kids out and such. It's not irrational to want your kids to not stall, and so many seem to. Our 18yo is in college and home for the summer. We have no exact timeline for when he leaves, but we've been clear that him living at home is predicated on the idea that it is helping him to progress in some way with his life, and if that stops, then he has to go. We won't allow stalling.

Ya'll have blown my mind. My son actually is just home from his freshman year at college. It never occurred to me to make a high school diploma, like an actual piece of paper. We always figured his college diploma would make his high school achievements obvious (and just how worthwhile, we figured, could it be if I could print it on my 10 year old inkjet?). I guess we always figured a high school education was a given and not much of an achievement, so we didn't really make a big thing of "graduation" (other than, "thank goodness that is over!"). Now I'm wondering if I have totally blown it.

My son's job (not glamorous, just Popeyes) allows him to go on leave during the year and pick up in the summer. This summer he's doing manager training when he gets back. Not having to find a new job each summer and having some management experience (even if it is just fast food), along with a long-term job on the resume, seems to us to be worth more than any unpaid internship. I'm not saying he would never, ever do one, but it would have to offer something pretty special to make it worth it. IMO, the companies that have these internships are just taking advantage of a hard job market and college students desperation to get a job out of school and start paying on their loans.

IMO, college visits are like a sales pitch for a time share. They just show you the lovely campus and hide the ugly frat house (or whatever). I don't think it usually provides much in the way of useful information. Before I would spend the time or money on a visit, I would make a list of the things that you want to know that CAN'T be found on the website, and then ask myself if any of that would change my mind. If you still decide to go, try to arrange to see those things, rather than waste time on the usual tour. Then I would see if there is a way to find and speak to current or recently former students.

I think the OP says they didn't do all the labs, that doesn't mean the mom is lying. It means that like any teacher she made a choice about how much class time to devote to labs. Just because the labs are available doesn't mean you have to do them all. Or maybe I'm misunderstanding? Did she do "less labs than available", or "no labs"?

When I went to school "with labs" was implied in all sciences, but the truth is we only did 2-3 labs per year. And from what I hear from my school friends, that's pretty common. I imagine for a non-STEM student it doesn't matter much.

The first thing I would tell son is to send a text to the room mate, that ONLY says that "my policy is to handle all conflict issues in person, so if you would like to set an appointment with the RA, I will be happy to meet with you both. Do not text me again." And then block roommates number. When people text, they allow themselves to act like idiots. Nothing is going to be resolved through text, so I would just end that line of communication as being both unproductive and wasteful. Then they should meet with the RA to mediate the situation, before anyone thinks of moving. Moving should be the LAST resort, not the first. It will do neither of these guys any good to just run away from their problems with other people. In real life, you almost never have the option of just getting rid of a person with whom you have conflict. This could actually be a huge growth opportunity for them both, if it is handled in the right way.

This is what I do with my Great Pyr, who is probably twice the size of your dog. 1. This is a two person operation. Person 1 trims and controls the dog's foot. Person 2 holds the dog's collar and distracts with a kong full of peanut butter. 2. I trim by standing over the dog's back, facing backward (looking at her tail), with my knees at her front shoulders, squeezing them gently. Kind of like a milk stand for a goat. My husband holds her collar to keep her head oriented forward, and feeds her peanut butter out of her kong. 3. I life the foot backwards, towards her rear, so that the pad of her foot faces up and I can easily see the underneath of her nail. I trim with scissor style clippers as quickly as possible. Any nail that looks hollow underneath is definitely safe and you can trim all of that part. Then use your best judgement and what you can see to trim just a little bit more (like 1/8th inch). I use the scissor style because the guillotine style just take too long to get over her nail and slows down the operation. Lifting the foot backward, more like a ferrier, seems to freak her out less than trying to pull her foot forward from in front of her. If she gets squirrely, I use my knees to gently squeeze her shoulders and hold her in place. Note: this is for squirming, not for a full melt-down, freak-out, bucking to get free. 4. As much as possible, do not let the dog loose while they are squirming for freedom. That just teaches them that struggling to get free works. Even if you are done, wait until the dog settles. 5. If you can do this once a week, you will eventually get all the nails. The more you do it, the better the dog will get, the more nails you will get at a time. 6. If you can, walk the dog on the road/sidewalk. This helps grind on the nail a bit and reduces the frequency of clipping needs.

I guess I just have a different belief. I believe there is no such thing as a "family belonging". There are things, some of which I give my children a certain amount of access to. There are things which my children either bought themselves, or had given to them, which are theirs and (for the most part) they get to control access to.

Well, sure it's nice to share. But one is not entitled to decide that someone else is sharing their belongings. And I actually think it's perfectly fair to insist on control of the music in your own car. What isn't fair is for someone who is not the owner to insist that they have a right to tell someone what they should listen to in their own car. Any more than I would go to someone's home and insist that they change the music there. Funnily, even if I was listening to no music I would have required the child to put the headphones away. Wearing headphones in other people's company is just rude.

Whoa! Are there any actual offspring, or is this theory?

So you think that a person does not have a moral entitlement to the control of their own belongings? If that is correct, then I would like your home address and list of all of your valuables.

I'd say tacky left this one in the rearview mirror. Rude.

Can't wait for Season 4. Season 2 was kind of a drag, but season 3 got back on track! Yay! It makes me want to watch Boston Legal, just so I can get more James Spader (the girls is a total drip, I don't know why they don't write something good for her).

Entitlement is not a bad thing, as long as it is appropriate. It is her car, so she actually IS entitled to decide the music all of the time, period.

:iagree: I would also add, to try really hard not to take it personally. She's not doing it to make you crazy and it's not an indication of a parenting fail. It's just a phase. If you give in and give her what she wants, THAT will be a parenting fail (probably). In the meantime, stop explaining to her. Stop rationalizing with her. Explanations are for those who sincerely want to know. She doesn't want to know. She wants to argue. There is no benefit, to you or her, in giving her the argument that she desires. In fact, you could go further and agree with her. When she says that she has less than others, don't try to talk her out of her beliefs. Just shrug your shoulders and agree that it's disappointing to not get what you want, especially when other people around you are getting it. Then move on (physically, if possible) to something else. If you really want to work on entitlement, I suggest upping her chore load (I'm a big believer in a hefty chore load for kids in general). Nothing like a bigger chore load to make you appreciate your play time more. Also, this: it really is ok to tell her to stop complaining. Don't try to convince her you are right, but you have a right to peace and quiet in your home. If she wants to be miserable, she needs to do that in the silence of her own head. She is not entitled to spew her self-inflicted misery on others.

I learned that I really do not like Penny Candy or Bluestocking economics books. I also learned that the US national debt is over $60K per citizen.

We never rinse our dishes. Washing dishes to put them in the dishwasher makes no sense to me. We just scrape them off and load them. No problems.