Hannibal~I did actually throw this book at the wall while reading it...twice. Harris dishonored one of the major characters with this charade. After being ruthlessly boring for the entire novel he went to completely ridiculous in the last 70 pages. I'm not particularly fond of Wuthering Heights and some other classics, but at least I didn't feel disgust when I finished them...just annoyance.

My mother has taught me crochet and knitting at different ages and different aspects have been clear to me at different times. When I first learned at 5 or 6, single chain crochet made sense to me. I think I could even do a double. I made a ton of "headbands" and the neighborhood kids made my mom teach them too. Within a few weeks I forgot how to crotchet. I tried a few times over the years and neither took. When I was fresh out of college she showed me how to knit and I knit on a "scarf" on and off for 6 months. I forgot how by Christmas and threw out the 4" scarf. Every 5 years or so as an adult I had her show me one or the other. None of them stuck more than a day or two. I have a hard time visualizing the actions and following through. The year before last my mother gave me my great grandmother's tapestry knitting bag and needles. She decided she preferred quilting. Last Halloween, ds4 was sick and needed a lot of watching over so I spent a week just watching knitting videos and practicing. I now knit daily. I don't remember how to crochet but it makes logical sense to me as a knitter. I just prefer the look and feel of knitting right now.

Your state extension service (ag usually from the state college or the state dept of natural resources) has lots of good information. If it seems overwhelming see if they have a section for 4-H. That's geared towards kids so it really is beginner info. I really love gardening blogs. Do a search for "_____(your state or region) gardening blogs." A lot of people are just keeping track of their journey so you'll get a lot of information. Also, GardenWeb.com has a ton of forums for everything. You find something for everything. It's a great place to ask questions if you can't find anyone in real life to ask.

Julia. One of my favorite girl's names as a child. I would love to be Julia. Past names were a mixed bag but almost all good. Flora (love it). Esther (huh)? Etta (like it). Tabitha (love it). I'd be happy with many of these names. I'm not as happy with the (very popular) nickname I went by as a child. Harper isn't so bad, but the rest are pretty common as well (Lisa, Tina, Heather). Dh: Luca ..... hilarious DS: exactly the same DS: Thomas DS: Malcolm DS: Christian

Square foot garden is good. Less technical, but similar technique, is Lasagna Gardening. The Garden Primer (Barbara Damrosch) is also pretty good. I would say it had better general gardening information than SFG (which covers more about his raised-bed method). One book that helped me relax and just enjoy it was Ruth Stout's No-Work Garden book. You won't learn much technique there but she's so chatty and fun and gives you permission to just ignore certain things.

Your state public radio may have a show for your area. They tend to be much more basic and people can email or call in with questions. The Master Gardeners have classes. You should be able to take a few in your area. Do a search for a _____ (insert state name) Gardening Book. Especially the ones that go month by month. They tend to go much more simply step by step.

Tampons were always super uncomfortable and invasive to me. I tried them several times in college, and then again after my first two were born. Plus there's TSS. I knew a really fastidious girl in college (the kind of person who changes them contantly) who was hospitalized for 3-4 days for that reason. They just dry you out. Yuck. Not that pads are fun, but tampons were always worse. I went to cloth pads in my 20s and that made pads much more bareable. Switched to a cup after 3 kids, even better. (So here's a cup user who still doesn't like tampons.)

I've always been amused that my SIL's unusual name came from a tombstone in California. MIL fixated on it. They're unsure if the person was male or female.

My father insists the names of his first 3 (out of 4) children came to him whole, in a dream, when he was 13 or 14 years old. The dream tapered off before my youngest brother was born (he was a surprise later baby when he did come). Back in the '70s, my father had a slightly joking/adversarial relationship with my mother's OB and they would joke about the sex of each of us and my father always turned out to be right, much to the OB's chagrin. Despite this family story, I do know he and my mother debated about the names, and my middle name is also a slight nod to my maternal grandmother's wishes. She was strongly pushing for me to be MaryAnn (one word). Both of her grandmothers were named MaryAnn. My oldest and favorite doll was named MaryAnn (she gave it to me). Whether my father won over all these discussions (probable) or his view shifted (also possible), I don't know. Definitely my middle name is the rather dull Ann. My mother did win out in some ways though. Everyone always called me by my very, very popular nickname. I only reclaimed my first name when I went to college.

Games: Sushi Go!, Bohnanza, and Mustache Smash Read aloud for 8 year old girls? Encyclopedia Brown, Little House books, Amelia Bedelia, EB White books, Roald Dahl books, Shel Silverstein, Beverly Cleary books (Ramona, Mouse and Motorcycle), Mr. and Mrs. Green, George and Martha.

DH and I both enjoyed Saga last year. It's really well-written, but it is probably about as far as I can go, personally. I'm not in a hurry to catch up to #27, or whatever they're at now. I read that the illustrator almost didn't do the first one because of the child trafficking, but after some thought she decided it was an important subject and went through with it. I'm glad she did. There was at least one point where I almost put the thing down, but her art was so over-the-top it felt more ironic and ridiculous rather than exploitive. She did a great job building it up for the punch, kind of like Ursula LeGuin's story "Those Who Walk Away from Omelas." I really enjoyed the humor about birth. It's a very adult comic (and I don't just mean the sex...tons of comics have sex/nudity/violence...the tone of this comic is older and more female-positive which is not standard in this world). I found it interesting that something as simple as a romance novel challenged one person's worldview the way it did. Do either of you plan on reading more of the series?

I wanted to say I'm sorry for the death of a friend and the struggles with age here. DH's mother is near the end of a battle with early onset dementia and we struggle along with her. It's a good struggle. We love her and want to make things positive for her. When people lose their ability to communicate you put love in a hundred metaphors and hope that one of them catches. You hope to see the love received and reflected back for one moment. I think Vetinari is most Machiavellian. :) I think inspiration is about connection. Sometimes a poet is good but we don't connect with them (for whatever reason...different experiences, understanding, etc.). It's really a charge when you do connect with a poet, isn't it? I'm not a gambler at heart, but poetry is a beautiful gamble and I love when it pays out. I'm reading Jorie Graham right now. The Way Things Work is by admitting or opening away. This is the simplest form of current: Blue moving through blue; blue through purple; the objects of desire opening upon themselves without us; the objects of faith. The way things work is by solution, resistance lessened or increased and taken advantage of. The way things work is that we finally believe they are there, common and able to illustrate themselves. Wheel, kinetic flow, rising and falling water, ingots, levers and keys, I believe in you, cylinder lock, pully, lifting tackle and crane lift your small head-- I believe in you-- your head is the horizon to my hand. I believe forever in the hooks. The way things work is that eventually something catches.

It shifts back and forth. Last time we had Netflix streaming it was pretty poor. I couldn't find much to watch. Up until recently Amazon had everything but the most recent season of BBC and HBO shows streaming free, so there was a lot to watch, especially if you haven't done cable extras in the last ten years. Movies cycled in and out with new ones coming in every week or two. Usually 1 or 2 newer or more popular ones and a wide range of other ones. The children's selections are particularly good (which is why we sprang for Prime actually). At the moment we're doing Netflix again, and I think at this moment there's more there for teens/adults. Honestly, I don't think the movie selection is much better than Prime, but there are different tv shows there so for a non-HBO watcher (me) there's more to watch now that all those BBC shows have been pulled from Prime.

I do agree with clementine. What do you want in a friend? It would be easier to decide what kind of person you like and then look for some organization you can join to meet those people. It really sounds like you need some new connections and a new direction for your life. What do you love?

My first thought was The Forest People by Colin Turnbull or A Primate's Memoir by Robert Sapolsky, although they fall more on the anthropology or social biology sides of Sociology spectrum. I think they came to mind because of your Congo studies. The Forest People is a '60s memoir/study of living with the Mbuti Pygmies (Congo) which was very human and enjoyable. Sapolsky's memoir of his youth studying baboons in Kenya is also lighter with lots of elements of humor and social biology/biological evolution. Both are memoirs, so they generally stay out of specialized vocabulary, but both have lots of interesting thoughts and some humor.

Me, 5: We have to tell our teacher what work our Daddy does. My mom: He's an auditor. Me: Auctioner Mom: NO, AUD-ih-TER. That means he checks the math people do for their money. But DON'T say he's an accountant. He's NOT an accountant. Teacher: Honey, it's okay if you don't know what your dad does. Me: I DO know what he does. *several more minutes go by* Teacher: What does he work with? Is he a truck driver? Me: NO. And he's not an accountant. But he works with money. And it starts with A. Add-er? Teacher: Are you sure he's not an accountant? Me: HE'S NOT AN ACCOUNTANT! I'm not sure what the big deal was with the accountant thing. I'm pretty sure they wrote BOOKKEEPER on the poster so drilling a 5 year old to say Auditor was kind of pointless. I wanted them to write A Money Guy but they wouldn't listen to me. It was all I could do to keep them from writing ACCOUNTANT, whatever that was. Something about counting, probably. If he liked adding, I don't know what his problem with counting was.

I was reading about a study someone did on people that respond in the comment section on the Internet. There's a correlation between traits like sadism, Machiavellism, other sociopathy and trolling. It's not that there are a lot of those people but they spend a greater amount of time indulging their needs to hurt in a "socially acceptable" (not direct and won't come back to hurt them) way. Narcissists were also included in this group, but Narcissists don't spend the time the others do. The greatest correlation was between sadists and Internet trolling. It's a safe way for them to vent their personalities.

It is hard. I think it can be dangerous to pretend that its not. One thing I try to do is remind myself that it's okay to be sad. I'll have a good cry if I need it, then make a list or schedule and keep busy with the things I can do. Bottled emotion is the most dangerous. Prepare for the future if that gives you peace. Plan and do special things as a family. Do things you love together. Celebrate your child and your family. Exercise. Eat well. Get enough sleep. Take care of yourself. If you have a craft or art, consider taking it up again...or learn a new one. When your mind is racing it helps to have a handcraft that uses repetition (knitting/sewing/painting/scrapbooking) but also takes up some mind space to plan, remember, create. Because while emotion (sadness, anger, fear) is okay and transitory and a part of being human and having connections with people, playing the Worry Tape over and over and over in your head 24/7 can suck all the joy out of your life and all the people around you. Keep it simple right now. Focus on the little joys and contentments. Do what you can do. :grouphug: I hope the time goes quickly and your child is well. If not, the world does not end. It gets harder, but the love and fun are still there. If nothing else you grab hold of it that much harder. You learn to love the little things. Your child is always your child.

Which? Anthem? I was thinking the 2nd person novel sounds like something Faulkner would do. Tom Robbins? I think he has one like that (not Only Cowgirls Get the Blues...one of the other ones). Doesn't Camus have one that starts off in a long 2nd person address but is really a 1st person novel? The Fall maybe?

I love that Milton! I don't remember what I thought of it when I read it first in college, but I read it a few years ago and I found it deeply moving. It gives me patience. I'm not doing much reading. I finished The Moon-Spinners and it was okay. Very fast-paced but the romance made me roll my eyes. I did enjoy her vocabulary and description. Statistics Without Tears was succinct but very dense. I had to force myself through a lot of it. I did enjoy his use of logic to make people think through the implications. I'm still reading The Innovators to dh in the car and really enjoying it. That's the one on the history of digital computers from Babbage and Lovelace through the Internet. It's all about the engineers, the inventors, the visionaries, and the dreamers. Dh is reading Charles Portis' short stories to me from Escape Velocity in bed at night. Portis' humor is so perfectly backhanded and subtle. I'm looking forward to this collection because some of his novels wander bemusedly and short stories have to stay sharp. I'm trying to chose between Prudence (Carriger, came through ILL, so far not as charming as the other series), something by Novalis (Hymn to the Night? or something), some poetry by Jorie Graham (Dream of the Unified Field, I think), and a children's book called Shoebag about a cockroach who turns into a boy, kind of a Metamorphosis turned on its head for the mid-elementary set. Shoebag, right? That's the kind of mood I'm in.

This bears repeating. A lot of library systems have electronic reminder systems now. Before dumping the library I would find out if they had something like that available. Check out their website or ask at the desk. I can order a book online, get an email reminder to return it 2 days before it's due and another 2 days after, and renew the book online (if no one else wants it...2 renewals max.). If the book is renewed within 5 days of its due date there are no late fees. Depending on the culture of the library, quite a few will cut you some slack periodically, especially if you are a 'Power User.' Most homeschoolers fall into this category. Not every one will, but it's worth exploring if money is tight. (We usually call Library Fees 'tipping' in our house...as in "I tipped your account at the library today." We love our library and consider it a donation to a good cause, not an irritation.) If your library does not have an up-to-date reminder system or a people-centered culture, then perhaps you're right to move on. Not all things work for all people.

Sometimes when we've had bad news for people for awhile or been the 'needy family' it is hard to share things with people. It's awkward. It's hard to know how much to say. We don't want to experience that awkwardness when people don't know what to do or say around tragedy. It even takes time for us to process personally so it can be really hard to talk about in a casual conversation. Feel free to be extremely vague. Something on the order of "ds is doing better, thanks for asking, but we have other things going on right now. Please keep us in prayer/I'm can't really talk about right now/etc. We've really appreciated your support" and move on. I'm not a very good liar but I don't really like to talk about our medical problems ad nauseam. I notice "we're as well as can be expected right now" and end with something a bit more upbeat they might be interested in such as your son's recovery or another child's triumph. Most people will move on. :grouphug: Of course, do what works for you. Just know you're not alone. Life can be pretty cruddy sometimes.

Lots of good information here. I don't have definitions for you, but I do know that burnout can be a reason to seek help, especially if you can't (for whatever reason) recharge, organize, or change your life to acquire more balance. Therapy can help you find ways to improve your life and promote balance. Medication can eliminate some of the anxiety so you can make changes in your life. Once you bring things back in balance burnout tends to disappear. From what I understand clinical depression can be different. Therapy can help, but sometimes you're correcting years of chemical and life unbalance. It's a bit more complex. I wish you the best. Whatever you're facing, it's important that you pay attention to your needs.

Speaking of The Zookeeper's Wife, there was a Yahoo news article yesterday about exhibiting the couples' home in memorial of what they did. A few pictures included for those who read the book or are otherwise curious and an interview with one of the men who hid there.

I wonder if you're in Eureka or Arcata. I've been listening to a knitting podcast from 2 women who work at the university there called Teaching Your Brain to Knit. Part of it is about brain science and knitting and part of it is about "the Redwood curtain," ie gorgeous northern California.