Here are the Cliff's notes: two daughters, one a junior and one a freshman. The older excels at academics, the younger struggles. The younger has had a myriad of health issues but is currently doing great and is off all meds. Tremendous blessing. The older is very self-motivated and grades are very important to her. I spend the majority of my day with my younger daughter trying to bring her up to speed. My husband keeps telling me to be positive and that she'll catch up. I had them both take the ACT in December. The older made a 32 and the younger a 17. This is after extensive work to help the younger make a respectable score (for her own self confidence). Because she and I war over school a lot, I also wanted her to begin to wake up to what will be expected of her. When she got her scores today, she was upset. (I wasn't thrilled but have been trying to appear positive...she did way better on practice exams.)These are my concerns: she just seems so darn apathetic about school and slow at everything. Time means nothing to her. When I urge her to manage her time responsibly, she gets angry. Then I get angry because she's disrespectful. It seems no matter how adult I try to be, her lack of caring just gets me. I know it's a front and she really does care....I just can't win. I push her, she gets mad. I don't push her, she fails and feels bad. I've always tried to just do what was in my kids' best interest, but now I'm not sure that I'm getting anywhere. BTW. Her math score was 20 and she's already halfway through Saxon Algebra 2. With a strong B. She's decent at math. We won't even talk about the science section (which is basically glorified reading comprehension). When my older daughter first took the ACT in 8th grade, she made a 25. Is my perspective just skewed? Or do I need to start from square one with daughter number two and reassess everything? I want so much to help her succeed. One more BTW....see who gets all the attention? How sad is that?

Beautiful videos. My kids just gave my MIL this set because we enjoyed them so much. The set is expensive...around $60. I'd love to own them myself (we did netflix).

Thanks so much. I appreciate your help.

A friend of mine has struggled with a daughter who refused to go to school. Over the last year (or more) I've watched her struggle to make her handle school and desperately try to 'just get her graduated'. The daughter has some health problems and I suspect, some social difficulties. (Don't most high school girls? It's a jungle.) Some of the health problems are legit, others....well, I'm very skeptical. Many times I've wished my friend would have taken away her kid's car, computer, dinky little job, etc., but I suspect she didn't have much backup at home (just a feeling). She also works her tail off to pay the bills. This week she officially signed papers for the daughter to drop out of school (and she was a senior!) I'm so worried about my friend because she seems so depressed. What can I say? I've told her that different kids choose different paths and that her daughter will find her way; however, I can see that this kid is really going to have a difficult time finding a job or functioning independently. Meanwhile, my kids are getting along great (even though we're weird homeschoolers), and I just feel so sad for my friend. I suspect she's going through a grief process. Any ideas about how to help without sounding like Pollyanna?

They came! They came! :)

AAAAUUGGGHHH...the suspense is killing me! :willy_nilly: Anyone get theirs in today?

I'm sick. Bronchitis. Took kids to their event anyway...husband went hunting....noble me. Supposed to be picked up from church at noon. I get a missed call from one of kids at 11...can't reach when I try to return call.....decide they 'need' me to go get them early. Sit by my sick self in the car till noon thirty waiting on them. Turns out they had pizza...that's why they took longer. Were they concerned about their ill mother waiting for an hour and a half in the cold car? Could they call to explain? Heck no. After all, they had pizza. Feeling pretty non-noble now. More doormat-ish. I may go on strike. :angry:

Sounds like pretty junior high behavior to me. Congrats on taking the high road. I see girls at church doing this to others and it makes me so irritated. How thoughtless.

Thanks for posting this. I'm at my wits end trying to get my 13 not so dd to develop arguments for an essay. She's arguing with me about everything and getting nowhere. Arguing about arguments....the irony is killing me. Can I meet you guys wherever you're meeting? Or better, why don't we just all swap kids periodically. You know they act better for everyone else but us. :001_rolleyes: (Oh, an eye-rolling one...how appropriate to describe my kid today.)

Sounds great! Wish I was so imaginative.

Oh. my. word. What have you people been DOING while I was away?!? Tang, kool-ade, Hawaiian punch, toilet seats....geez. Yes, I do know we were not setting off bombs on the moon (used term that was all over the news yesterday morning, sorry), I do know the purpose, I do know that the moon has no atmosphere, it's a LONG WAY from us, and so forth. Glad you guys had fun. You are VERY silly people. I like it. But I still don't like bombing/crashing/impacting/kicking up debris on the moon to maybe find evidence of water and spending 79 million to do so. So there. Oh, and I'd be thrilled if my little guy made a connection between something he saw in the news and something he'd studied, even if the facts weren't all there. Good job, Mom. He's thinking.

Oh, whew, it only cost 79 million.

Anyone else do a double take about this? Where do you ask for permission? Who has the authority to okay sending spacecraft spiraling into the moon in search of water? I am admittedly ignorant about such things, but I've seen no one question the wisdom of doing so. What do you think?

No, No, No! It's mine! I already claimed it! Mine are sitting at the dining table being forced to write......oh, it's almost too hideous to say.....poor little darlings....they'll be scarred for life.....THANK YOU NOTES. I was tired of suggesting it be done so now I'm micromanaging my teen girls. You think YOU'RE unpopular. Go for it. I'LL be on your side.

Wow, you've really been through it....you've done a great job. I know what it feels like to walk out in the morning not knowing what you'll find that day. I put down a 30-year-old mare this summer that I'd had since she was born. The whole process was traumatic but the sense of peace was overwhelming afterward. I hope you find the right solution. You've done right by him and any decision you make will be great. Sorry you're going through this. :grouphug:

My girls are teens now, quite modest, and shopping is a PAIN. We all hate it. My girls are slim but every top is designed to be skin tight with no room to breathe. Dresses? For church or other special occasion? Forget it. We've resorted to blouses and skirts to avoid spaghetti straps, sequins, plunging necklines, and thigh-high hem lengths. Thank goodness my girls think the wild styles and garish prints are unflattering and unappealing. Jeans waistlines seem to have crept up a bit, thank goodness. If I see one more young lady's plumber's crack....so what I'm getting to, enjoy this time because shopping definitely doesn't get easier when they get older. Just walk through a junior department.

Tee hee...just checked back and looked like you guys are having fun with this. Okay, I'll tell you some more 'hits'. Have a teen come out of woods begging for help, 'they're after me', ghouls get her. Haunted baseball game, freaky looking characters playing with fake bones and tossing whatever your imagination can come up with. The Christine car idea is good....got a barn that you could have it facing out of? You could pause the trailer right in front of it to look at something and then the lights come on with horn blaring, engine racing. One year we had a bunch of kids doing a Thriller dance routine. Hilarious. Elvis even showed up. At the beginning of the ride, Ichabod Crane came running up frantically to the trailer telling people they'd better not go....and then later in the ride a headless horseman (actually a horsewoman) rode by. Don't forget about clowns....some folks find them really disturbing. One thing I learned...forget dry ice....too expensive. Fog machine might be good. Good luck. Oh, set up STERN guidelines about how close the spooks can actually get to the trailer. You don't want anyone hurt. I've also been surprised at how lax parents are about young children on the trailer, especially letting them sit on the very front (right behind the hitch). THAT freaks me out. Enough fun. Time for Algebra 2. Shoot.

My younger child is 13. We've struggled with this for a LONG time (a couple of years). Looking back, I'm glad I've made her be independent with her math....we go over the new concepts together, she has a limited time to work on it, and if she doesn't finish, it's homework. I can always tell how she'll do by just LOOKING at her when I walk by. Some days are A's, and some days are F's. If she's distracted or moody, she usually winds up having to do it over....on the weekend. She's learning but it's not easy some days. One word of encouragement for you...a 4.0 college student (previously homeschooled) told me that the main advantage that homeschooled students have is that they don't expect to be 'spoonfed'. She said that nine times out of ten she can read the material on her own and get it, while her classmates consider that a completely foreign idea. Hang in there.

Here are some ideas we've done in the past....have a 'plant' on the trailer, at some point where the trailer stops to see something creepy, have spooks run out and drag the plant off into the woods. Setting up scenes works well if you have enough help. Maybe a bonfire scene, camping scene, just characters coming out of the dark dressed strangely gets the kids fired up. And of course the maniac with a chainsaw.

Is this perhaps a haunted hayride? The words spook and horse don't work out too well in close proximity. The words emergency room usually come close behind.

I just got in and read your comments. Thank you all so much. I've been in a funk all day and felt embarrassed every time I thought about it. Your comments, encouragement, and suggestions really helped. Being a parent can get you into the weirdest situations. I never dreamed that I'd be trying to be an advocate/manager/chauffeur of two musicians. If my kids do decide to pursue music as a career, I want them to know their work is valuable and that they have to take up for themselves. The whole funeral thing is always so fast....there's no time to discuss fees...they just call and ask the kids to play within a day or two. There's never been a issue before with folks sending payment, and it always seems so crass to say to someone who's making funeral arrangements for a family member, 'Oh by the way, their fee is...." I don't always know if the death was expected or sudden. It's all too complicated for my tired brain tonight. Thank you all for your help. I'll try to figure out how to set some kind of fee schedule. Thanks again.

I'm feeling lousy. My teenage kids are musicians. They play for various events in my community. They donate their services for some things (church, charity events) and get paid for weddings, funerals, etc. They began when they were pretty young, and I never felt right about setting a fee for them, mainly because I didn't want them to feel like they were supposed to get paid for everything. AND just because they were my kids and I felt weird about it. :tongue_smilie: Therefore, we set up an account in each child's name (with their blessing) and any funds they earn or have donated goes into their continuing music fund. They use it to go to music camp in the summer typically....it's all we can do to make their regular tuition and music fees. I love that they work for their camp because it gives them some ownership. Back to why I feel lousy. They played for a funeral over a month ago for a lovely lady that we didn't know. Her son had heard them at another funeral and called me to ask them to play for his mom's service. Her family was quite gracious and obviously thrilled with the music the girls had prepared. The son of the deceased came to me several times that afternoon thanking me for bringing them, saying that his mom would have been so pleased, and that he'd call me the next morning to arrange something for the girls. No call ever came. I waited a little over a month, agonized over what to do, and decided that my kids had been taken advantage of. I wrote a very nice note to the son, reminding him that he'd said he'd call, that I knew it was a difficult time, and that I knew he'd want me to tell him about the 'oversight'. I explained that they played to be able to enrich their music education and what they use their donations/scholarships for. Then after a couple of more weeks of agonizing, praying, rephrasing the letter, etc., I sent it. Today he showed up at my house with a beautiful bracelet for each of my kids and a generous check toward their music fund. Okay, musicians. AM I A CLOD? (Wow, I'm really asking for it) I'm not a musician but I do know how very hard most good musicians work. I've seen a number of musicians not be paid for their time, gas, and hard work. I've even paid a few pianists on the sly because I found out that they were being expected to accompany my kids for free. Embarrassing. So why do I feel so lousy for trying to teach my kids to take up for themselves? Sorry this is so long. Off to my children's zillionth music lesson. I'll check back tonight to see if I'm a horrible clod. Thanks for listening.

I volunteer at church a lot with youth activities. A couple of years ago, there were a couple of siblings with terrible odor at every activity. Great family, well-taken care of kids...just obviously didn't use deodorent. My heart ached for those girls because many people discussed it and peers avoided them. I even saw other girls offering them their deodorent on youth trips. They just could not catch a hint. It was a real problem and I couldn't understand why the parents didn't NOTICE it. No one (including me) had the guts to talk to the parents because they didn't want to offend them. Finally on a youth trip I tried to gently address the issue with a story NOT directed at them. Eventually I noticed the problem begin to fade. Maybe she did catch your son on a busy day. I know my kids let a lot of things slide when they're with Grandma. It sounds like he doesn't have a real problem at all. However, I'm with the person who said it's not a bad idea to start good hygiene habits before they have an issue. Both my kids started by 9.

Poor kids. What a complete WASTE of their time. How about working on learning math facts, science experiments, READING, music theory, American history, world history, foreign language, spelling, etiquette.....I can think of about a million things that could actually be for THEIR benefit, not someone else's political agenda. Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, what a bunch of garbage! (to be sung to the tune of BHO).

I'd write a letter to the dentist explaining what happened. I'd let him know in no uncertain terms how I felt in a direct, nonemotional, businesslike way. If he's a good dentist and manager, he'll call you personally to apologize. If he doesn't, I'd find another dentist. There are too many out there to put up with mini-dictators. You're the customer. As long as you're reasonable, it's their job to accomodate YOU. This is one of my pet peeves....doctor offices with officious help who try to 'parent' their clients. Don't put up with it.