I'm right there with you! My ds6 is about to start his 1st grade curriculum, and I worry that I chose the right things. He's also a reluctant self-reader. He loves for me to read to him, but when it came to phonics - forget it! We went to lesson 70 in OPG last year, and he's a good decoder, but he doesn't have the confidence to read alone yet. We even started over from the beginning about half way through because I think I was going too fast! Talk about frustration!
I've decided not to worry too much about it though, we'll review from the beginning again and just go from there. He WILL get it! Yours will too - it just takes patience and practice. That's my new mantra "patience and practice"!
We're using SOTW1, Saxon 1 (because it made the most sense to me), WWE, and HWT. We're holding off on FLL until he's reading better, and that decision took alot of pressure off. For science, we're using encyclopedias, the internet, the library, and our backyard. And we're going to read, read, read. That's it. That's all we're doing. I did not want to stress either him or me by doing too much too soon and losing the excitement right off the bat. Don't get me wrong, I feel the pressure to do it all, but I made the decision to do what was best for me and for him. It felt sooooo good to let it go! So know that you are not alone in your stress, we're in the same boat, and I for one am confidant that it will not sink!