exactly this. We deal with a cascade of events triggered by dealing with a dysfunctional family: of first, being taught to quickly do whatever it takes to make the parent happy and un-mad at us..this is so ingrained in me to jump to and fix *it* somehow so parent will be happy with me again and so there will be no drama (no yelling, screaming, stomping out) next- I have been trained all my life that I am probably bad because it is my fault...I am not being a good girl and third, I have grown up stuffing my emotions and not crying in front of anyone- if I don't cry or address the problems, they are not really there or tangible and fourth- I have been conditioned to take cr*p treatment and then thank the parent. it is really, really hard to stop the pattern and stand up to a parent. We feel guilty, un-lovable, un-christian, mean. It is really hard that most people seem to think we should forgive, forgive, forgive and be a doormat forever because they are *family. And sadly, we put ourselves into that category by judging ourselves and telling ourselves that maybe it is not *that bad... I do get it OP and I know it is hard. Stand up for your kids though, I stood up and decided that it stops here, I had no choice but to take it, but my kids are not going to be mistreated on my watch.

learniandgrow, I grew up with a lot of dysfunction and abuse, and I know that people who grew up in normal families don't always get it, specially true if the majority of abuse was not physical but emotional/verbal. We can't show the scars they left on our souls/minds. I realized as an adult, that my ability to judge when I was being treated badly was broken. I've struggled with this on and on as a mother, dealing with my parents and I decided that I don't want my kids to grow up with broken cr*p meters - so I've taught them not to take bad treatment from anyone and that we can be polite but still walk away and back out of relationships if we need to . People who bully, are mean, make you cry, blame you for stuff and just mess with your ability to see the world....gone. praying for you as you learn how to deal with this, I know that the extra-extra guilt loaded on top because they are your parents- is a heavy weight and it is hard to actually act. I decided to not accept the guilt - the ball is totally in their court; act kindly/ nicely and don't be mean or you won't see us much. - I didn't even bother to explain, I just started cutting down our exposure and didn't leave my kids with them unsupervised anymore. I think they might be figuring it out, they are much nicer these days.

sorry, I just scrolled up and saw the directions to include a wordy post... here's my wordy post contribution: Math Woes

mine is up WW-lavender fields forever from our trip to San Juan Island last Sept. - I was thinking I should do something with the artsy photos of flowers...

I am so happy for you, Nance!!

Garga, yeah, I've never felt like Mother's day is ever about me, it's about my MIL and my step mom and (used) to be about my mom. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Nowhere in there is any time for me and what I would like to do.

I get it, Mommy22- mother's day became 'ick' to me in my tween years when I realized I couldn't find a card to express my relationship with my narcissist mom and evil stepmother. I totally get it. This is my first mother's day since my nm died- I feel sad that she never appreciated me or my sister while she was alive. Stepmom....I'll try to get something to please her and survive the passive-aggressive digs that she doesn't see us enough, laugh at her mean comments/put-downs to me (or not) and ignore while her and my dad argue. fun fun fun. I do get to see my great mother-in-law, who is a gem, so my day does have a bright spot. :) if it goes badly enough, I'll end the day with a Mike's....

I agree with others who are saying to walk away. If you are doing this, hoping that being nice and saving them will earn their love and gratitude, I think you are mistaken and will hurt your own family trying this. I understand wanting the land to stay in the family, but it sounds like you are walking into a big mess and are about to be taken advantage of, too boot. if you do decide to go forward, get your own mortgage, your own financing and hire a lawyer to do a title search first to find any liens on the property. Do not joint own it with them, but draw up a separate agreement for a lifetime occupancy for them.

my dog is allergic to rice, which is in almost all dog food. We use Natural balance dry food - the sweet potato based flavors. Also some avoderm, but only the kind without rice. While we were figuring out her allergy, I was feeding her homemade food of sweet potatoes, tofu, lentils and added vitamins. From there we began introducing dog food with different meats but no rice. I still make the homemade stuff in the crockpot and add it to her dry food.

there is a place near me that sells it, I'm in Ca. Don't totally take my word, but I was browsing around and I thought I read a short snippet saying that Annie Sloan had copyrighted the name chalk paint....so, if that is true, you might have better luck finding the same kind of paint under a different term....but my brain can't figure out what kind of term would be equivalent.

I second St. John. We went on a cruise, visited several islands and this one was our favorite. It was quiet, you had to take another boat to get to it. Beautiful! We are planning on going back some day and spending all our time on St. John.

OP, you sound like me. I haven't gotten the courage to go in yet and ask for meds, but I think I should. I tried coffee, and while it didn't magically fix all my problems (my housed didn't become suddenly clean and organized!) I did notice my thoughts were orderly and I could follow my thoughts to completion. I usually call myself "scattered" I would admit to your Dr. that you took one of his pills and how it helped and assure him you won't do it again, because your son needs them. Dr.s hear all kinds of things, you aren't going to shock him.

thanks for bumping it, I lost interest a long time ago, and never would have known what the item really was. I guess.

thanks, Eagle, that is helpful :)

Eagle, you have cork in the bathroom? Has there been any issues with water damage? I have raynaud's and I would love to have something else beside tile in my bathroom....the cold gets to me...

oh no, that sounds like a really scary incident. I agree with everyone else that you need to document and try to file a report. If they will not do a restraining order, you could look into a charge of harassment which I have heard has different criteria. I'm so sorry your little boy was scared.

we studied it in AP English, but never actually read it. Recently, a family friend boy- age 16 read it at his Classical private school and he has said it is now his favorite book. I've heard he can elegantly share about all the symbolism and profoundness (is that a word?) in the book and he has pointed out to his parents many instances of references from the book in other media...so I am pretty intrigued. When I see him this Summer I am going to ask him to make a believer out of me and tell me all about it, and then it will be on my 'to read' list.

bumping this for you... i was just going to say that I have a Hamilton Beach- just a plain ol' normal blender and it seems to do the job fine...but then I saw yours just died. bumping, hopefully someone will have a suggestion.

forgot my computer class. I went to a brand new high school for a few months, they had a computer lab full of brand new Apple computers. The teacher did not know how to use them. We would go in everyday and be told to open this typing book we had and just type something. Or we would socialize or try to figure out things to do on the computers ourselves. At one point there was some kind of big typing deal with several schools and a competition. she begged my best friend to go as her top student, and my friend won a ribbon for her typing speed...but, her mother had taught her to type at home on a typewriter, years ago...nothing to do with this class or teacher.

I had great elementary school teachers, but things started to go downhill around 4th grade...my teacher was fine, but in the classroom next to us, there were rumors going around that the male teacher was "creepy" and that he bothered some of the girls. Then, one day he was reading adult magazines at the desk (was told by friends in the class that this was a normal thing) and two of the braver boys decided to call him out on it in front of the whole class. The teacher had some kind of tantrum and then burst into tears, laid his head on the desk and had a breakdown. One of the kids went to our class to get our teacher. Never saw this male teacher again, they had a sub the rest of the year. my 5th grade teacher was really good, but he spent months taking us to the multi purpose room and teaching us to sing "Dust in the Wind" we all thought it was cool, that the song was pretty and we liked not having to do our regular work. Years later it occurred to me that it was kind of a morbid song to teach 30 5th graders. 8th grade Algebra teacher was an engineer and switched to teaching. He really knew his stuff but had a hard time figuring out classroom management and when to be cool and when to be stern. He also had an accent. On day, the fun and teasing got out of hand and he ended up with a trash can on his head and near tears. -But- everyone was ashamed of themselves and it was all sorted out and no one ever dared go that far again. He really taught us Algebra well. 9th grade Geometry class, an Ex-Nun who was well-past retirement time. She was a little deaf and couldn't hear my soft voice. She would make us stand next to our desks to answer questions or to recite proofs and she always, always ended up shrieking at me because she couldn't hear me, which terrified me. I got a D in the class, and I was too afraid to ever ask her for help. The senior boys would ask her about her dogs at the beginning of the class so she would forget about the lesson and tell us all about her dogs....yeah, we learned a lot that year. high school world history class, the teacher was retiring. He would turn the lights out and play serial movies for us like Shogun and Thornbirds. That was it. At the end of the year, he graded us according to his knowledge of what kind of students we were, I had him in 10th grade for a history class and he knew I was an A student, so he told me to keep my A I would have to write a research report, or I could take a B. I took the B. We had pizza parties in the class every other week, pulled our money together and had a pizza delivered. We couldn't do it more than that or the office would notice. high school economics and government- I don't remember anything from those classes, I don't remember any homework...I do remember some easy open book tests. The teacher was strange and like to dress like Barbie. high school biology, the microscopes didn't work, we just copied what was in the text book for our answers on the lab sheets and never had to do any projects or science fairs. the only science fair I did was in 7th grade. My highschoolers have done several in our homeschool. My AP English teacher was my favorite, and also everyone's favorite. He reminded me of a blend between the teacher in Dead Poets society and Prof. Moody in HP. He had a sign over his door with the quote "Abandon all hope all ye who enter here" and he would shout, stand on desks, throw books, but we loved him. He challenged us. He did have this near obsession with JFK's assassination and we saw all kinds of footage and documentaries, long before Oliver Stone did his movie. Still my favorite teacher ever.

wow...just wow. maybe a new Dr. and be sure to drop him a note and tell him why... of 4 kids, 1 needs glasses....but her dad also wears glasses and his near-sightedness came upon him in college. He was schooled in a normal school.

OP, I'm glad something good happened for you today. Good reports are encouraging.

thanks for the update, it sounds like it is being handled. so sorry you are going through a rough time.

so sorry for your recent loss. {hugs} send the thank you and then don't think about them anymore, and let dh handle any phone calls from them