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Plucky

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Posts posted by Plucky

  1. My 12dd still plays with hers & asked for another for Christmas. She absolutely loves them though. My 15dd has hers on her shelf & won't part with them. I never bought the expensive clothes or accessories. I'd always try to find similar items at Target for much cheaper. The doll clothes there won't fit the AG dolls, but I can get other accessories. We made our own clothes by taking in baby clothes.

  2. I hope down the road you are able to see that everything turned out for the best. :grouphug:

     

    Our au pair only lasted 6 months before we asked her to leave. I had some issues about how she was taking care of the kids and then I found out she was reading my journal. When I confronted her she locked herself in her room for a couple of weeks until she left for good. It was awful. She ended up going to another family, which I think helped her put her life with us in perspective. She has kept in touch and visited with us when she was in town a few years later, and I'm glad she can look at her time with us and focus on the positive.

     

    Thanks for sharing that. I think this experience will make an impact on her for the better.

     

    I do plan on getting back into the extra kid game probably by January. I may do some respite foster care work over the holidays to give other families a break. Respite is very rewarding. I get to spoil the kids and we get to be the fun house.

  3. That's what I would assume as well. :confused: I'm open to being wrong, though!

     

    I'm sure it's not all teen girls. There is a higher propensity though for difficulties because they are more emotional and tend to hold grudges. Pair that up with language issues and it can be a powder keg. The guys shrug and let things roll off their back. I will be honest and say that most of the kids in our program are very, very wealthy & privileged. There are also cultural differences that are the norm for them, but are unacceptable here.

     

    I am really laid back so I don't normally have issues, but I can't let my family be victimized either. Some kids are sent here by their parents to get into American colleges and/or to get them away from family because they are causing problems and embarrassment.

  4. Yup. He needs to see it I bet. A BIG desk blotter sized calendar was my friend in college. with multi colored markers. And a bunch of sticky notes. Sticky notes are the only reason I was able to hold a job, lol. I would write each task I needed to do on a note. When the job was done I threw away the note. If the note is there, you have work to do. Works better for me than a to do list by far. I am naturally VERY unorganized, but those two things saved me.

     

    He's a guy and it has to be very, very simple. LOL I sent him a good calendar from amazon, a student planner, recommended a great app, sent a short article on organization for the college student, and told him to find the most organized guy in his house and see if he can help him get organized (there are actually quite a few).

     

    Yes, I am probably still mothering him too much. Yes, I am still emotionally emeshed with this child. I have backed off a lot. When the kid texts me in panic mode on a Sunday night after all the drama of my week already with teen girls here it sends me into a panic. Plus, I think I am pmsing.

     

    Anyway, I offered what I could. Now I let him figure it out. Natural consequences really are the best way, but I wanted him to learn this before he went away to the big uni. Ah, well, time to suck it up and go handle a different crisis here. :lol:

  5. Do you feel creeped out knowing that information?

     

    My husband and I were talking that its possible for offenders to be anywhere we move. Most don't report their status so there's no way to know for sure. Still I don't know that it eases my mind enough to do it.

     

    A neighbor across the street works for the county sheriff dept. Dh said he would go talk to him and see if there have been any problems since they moved to the community.

     

    I just don't know though.

     

    Oh sorry. I mean no I wouldn't but that doesn't mean they won't move in next door.

     

    We only know about the Level 3 offender. It appears to be a group home and so we suspect there are others at lesser levels. I looked up all the offenders in our area and there are 7 more withing a mile - one a woman.

     

    I was very, very mad when they moved in. I've gotten over it for the most part. The kids around here do not walk alone on our street anymore.

     

    Our worst offender next door raped a 3 year old. :(

  6. Unless the student had asked for it, I would not send him a calendar. Your student will see it as a lack of confidence in his ability to pull himself together. You could ask if a calendar would help and then offer to buy one, but let it drop if he says no. Planners definitely don't work for everyone. Generally they are least likely to work on those who need them most. Mostly, he sounds like he needs to establish some ground rules for himself. You can help him brainstorm some things that will help him get back on track. Obvious things like, party no later than 11pm on weekends...that sort of thing. You can't really learn to plan ahead until you've learned to do the hard thing and tell yourself no first. Hugs. I have one of those and I'm not looking forward to the college transition.

     

    He asked for a calendar. He asked for help. All I can do is offer suggestions at this point. I am sending a him a calendar, planner, and told him to find an app.

  7. There is little to stop a registered SO from moving in near you wherever you buy. I would not think I was increasing my safety by passing on an otherwise great house. Because I would tend to assume there are some, registered or not, in basically all areas. Sex offenses are far too common for there to be many areas with no sex offenders. The sex offender registry does little to reduce risk. You still need to be cautious and careful regardless of what you know (or don't know) about your neighbors.

     

    Yep, sex offenders moved in next door to us.

  8. I think there is a key line in your post: We think differently. We all do. What works organizationally for any given person may not work for others. Some people need things organized visually--where they can see everything. That's why, for instance, they pile stuff. They can see it. That is anathema to many naturally organized people.

     

    Your ds has to find what works for him.

     

    My freshman ds is also struggling with this kind of thing. A lot of them do.

     

    I wonder if campuses have help for students with this. It would make sense.

     

    Yes, I plan on calling in the morning. Surely there is somewhere they can go to get some organizational help.

  9. Sunday night of course. I just saw him Saturday. Sigh.

     

    Okay, he is struggling with procrastination and organization. I knew this was going to bite him in the butt. He missed a class where there was a test. He would have an A, but now will have to settle for a B probably. Still doing great in his other classes but finding time to do homework & focus as well is a problem. Yeah, I gave him advice - more sleep & being organized & less socializing.

     

    His biggest problem. HUGE. Is that he is not organized. He doesn't plan. I fought with him and tried to make him learn how to organize and plan in high school. Not interested. So now it's crunch time he has to learn how to get himself organized.

     

    I'm organized, but I don't know how to help him because we think differently. What do you suggest?

     

    I will send him a calendar.

     

    I need help with:

     

    Which paper student planner?

     

    Any good student planner apps for the iphone or will a regular calendar one like I use work?

     

    Any good websites that can help him and is very simple, concise, & cut to the chase?

     

    This is his wake up call about being organized. I hope he takes it. Thanks so much for any and all suggestions.

  10. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

     

    I'm sorry it's not working. What an awkward situation to be in. Is this a high school student? It must be difficult to be the parents but not really.

     

    I hope you are feeling better about it in a few days. :grouphug:

     

    Cat

     

    Yes, but when they come here they are a my kid in my heart & I invest a lot of time and energy into them and it's always been worth it. Thanks for the hug.

  11. I think she is longing for recognition and to be part of things. And I totally understand why it annoys you.

     

    But honestly, since she doesn't live near you, what would it cost you to post a picture of the kids with their scarves on and say, "here is a photo of my kids in the awesome scarves my awesome MIL crocheted for them." It would make her happy, she would still be annoying and might post annoying follow up comments, but I can't think of any reason not to give her a little public love and recognition if that is what she needs.

     

    If you just accept how she is, choose not to focus on the negative, and make it a habit to reach out to her, write thank you notes, post things once in a while that compliment her, etc, I think you will do well. You will never change her, so just be good to her and make the world a kinder place? You know? I have finally recognized that I will never stop my MIL from doing her annoying stuff, so I should just accept it, and hope my future DILS will do the same for me when i, inevitably, annoy them.

     

    Yep, this is what I'd do & I even send pics of the kids using or wearing items. Relationships are hard. Think positive as much as posible and if necessary move farther away. :D

  12. I'm so glad I have always told people to think once, twice, and again about hosting. I have loved it for the most part, but the kids aren't angels - they are other teenagers in your home and they will have issues as well. Some will have issues that are complete deal breakers. I've been doing this a while and am pretty flexible but it didn't work out this time - my first teenage girl. I may go back to hosting boys when or if I do.

     

    I'm sad and angry at the same time about the issues that have come up.

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