This has been so helpful! I can't thank you enough!! If I apply the Mock Trial hours to English during his junior year, that rounds out the coursework for that class. For senior year I will do the same, and include time he spent shadowing a professional mediator and volunteering for teen court. Those activities combined with his ACT score should fit the bill. Y'all are the best! Ashley

Smart, But Scattered for Teens https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_2_9?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=smart+but+scattered+teens&sprefix=smart+but%2Cstripbooks%2C158 The Student EQ Edge (with workbook) https://www.amazon.com/Student-EQ-Edge-Emotional-Intelligence/dp/111809459X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1467398211&sr=1-1&keywords=the+student+eq+edge

Working in the restaurant business actually provided a big boost in confidence right when he needed it. So it was a good experience for him.

Oh it's not "possible" executive skills issues, it's DEFINITELY EQ that is his bugaboo. We're still trying to figure out how that plays out in achieving his own goals, versus educational goals that seem irrelevant to him. I have a terrific book that helped us identify very specific areas of weakness, like "task initiation", but like any self-improvement goals, it takes maturity, accountability, and self-discipline to make progress. Not exactly hallmarks of an 18-year old male. ; )

I think this is exactly what appealed to him about the restaurant business. Honestly, I just don't think he has the maturity yet to do long-term goals. He was VERY late to mature physically, and his emotional maturity has matched that, while his mental capabilities zoomed ahead. My husband and I are not into giving a free lunch. DS just finished serving at a counselor for Boys' State (they invited him back), then visiting his grandmas to help them with things around the house, and is currently pursuing a work/study program at a crafting (blacksmithing) school. We consider that to be appropriately "engaged" for a gap year. I think at this stage in his life, he may regret not finishing his coursework, now that the reality of what that means is upon him. So I think he would receive the diploma as an act of grace and appreciate the clean slate. Of course, we don't want to rescue him from the lesson to learn here. There in lies the rub, huh? : )

These are my husband's feelings exactly. He shared them with me this morning, and that is what initiated us revisiting the issue.

Love the course name...and off the top of your head, no less. : ) Thanks! As far as returning to academics, that's going to have to be at his initiative. I'll do everything I can to help him, but if I've learned anything over the past 2 years, it's that.

This is so true. The problem was that until junior year his goal was to attend an undergraduate school that had a competitive mock trial team, then pursue a law degree. So I was actually trying to help him meet his goals. I think that's why we had such an unraveling; he started to sense that this long-held goal was not a good fit for him (right now), and it resulted in a sort of identity crisis. My hunch is he may return to that path after he has some time to mature. But if he wants to be a professional blacksmith, I'm cool with that too. : )

The dissonance you describe is exactly where I am at. For so long the diploma was serving alternately as the "carrot" or "stick" to get him across the finish line. I feel lke that's just not relevant anymore though. And as you said, I don't want to hamper his future. Thanks for taking the time to respond. It feels good to be understood. : )

I had not thought of using mock trial as an English credit, but he has tons of hours in it. Thanks!!!

Thanks, Regentrude. We share your concerns about getting to the root of the issue, so my son did see a counselor during the fall of last year. My take is that his weaknesses in executive skills, combined with his lack of motivation to complete something solely to put a check in a box, are what have resulted in his current circumstance. He is pursuing blacksmithing, has a social group, and seems much happier than when he was trying to "finish" school. What would be an example of a lower tier school? I think every program is going to require 4 years of English, and he doesn't have that. If his writing score on his SAT (which I need to look up) was passing, should I just let go of that requirement? He scored a 33 on the multiple choice writing section of the ACT. Appreciate you taking the time to respond. Ashley

Things began to fall apart for my DS (now 18) during his junior year (last year). He made it up to the very end, but failed to complete his courses. He did very minimal work during the first semester of his senior year, mostly just keeping his high school status so he could compete in Mock Trial. In January, he enrolled in 3 classes at the local community college (DE). He also failed to complete these. At that point we insisted he work, if he wasn't going to pursue school, so he got a job at local fast food restaurant. So here's the other side of the coin. We have homeschooled all the way through. He participated on the Mock Trial team all 4 years of high school, becoming one of our strongest members early on. He even won a national award for his achievement in mock trial. He scored a 30 on the ACT (composite). He work ethic is "renowned" by everyone he works for outside the home. He is very interested in blacksmithing, and has served as an apprentice at our local living history museum for several years. Until recently I felt that I could not award him a diploma because he hadn't met the goals we established for our homeschool (I'm not really concerned about our goals matching the diploma issued in our state.) When it became clear that he was not going to apply to college right after high school to pursue his original ambition of becoming an attorney, I modified my expectations. However, he still hasn't met those qualifications. Now my husband and I are thinking that our DS is as educated, articulate, and intelligent as most high school graduates, so why not just award him a diploma from our homeschool, so he isn't held back by the lack of it, like on employment applications. This wouldn't be a "giving in" thing....more of a reasonable "moving forward." Of course, if he decides to go to college, then he will have to address all the blank spaces on his transcript. I would love to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience (we can't be the only ones, right??) or can offer suggestions. Thanks so much!! Ashley

Beautiful Feet is an oldie, but goodie.

in addition to the selections above... fiction: The Giver, Ender's Game biography: Stalin: Russia's Man of Steel (to explore a different type of government) non-fiction: Uncle Eric books

I have a son that shuts down with the "school work completed before work or social life" approach. He gets so far behind that he's overwhelmed, then ends up just hanging out in his room accomplishing nothing. That doesn't seem healthy. So I understand how that approach doesn't work for every kid. In your situation, I would encourage the job at camp, too. My son, a junior, did not finish his math curriculum either this year. We were doing PreCalculus, but we basically had to go back and solidify some Algebra skills. So kudos to you for taking care of that now. In our situation, we will continue to work on math throughout the summer (around camp and work experiences). The goal is to finish 3/4's of the curriculum, call it Trigonometry on the transcript, and call next year PreCalculus/Calculus, depending on how far he gets.

I should also add that for my middle son, who is 14, I do feel like homeschooling during middle school has benefited him in the "less drama/pressure" department. He is in a middle school group at church, and he tends to gravitate toward the younger middle schoolers. He's just not into the "My girlfriend" drama. I think this would be more difficult for him if he were in a school, segregated with kids that were in 8th grade all day.

My ds will be a senior this year, but, unfortunately we are still trying to complete his junior year. Time management and staying motivated are a struggle. He could actually be applying to some of his rolling admission schools already, but of course you need to finish junior year to do that. I've stayed on top of course descriptions and the transcript from the beginning. As you can imagine, it's very frustrating for me. I have to keep reminding myself that I can only do my part, he has to do his. Any words of advice? Ashley

I, like Sue in St. Pete, have a boy. And we, too, have had the military school discussion. We have always homeschooled, so I can't compare how the issues would differ if my ds was in a public high school. Of course, non-homeschooling friends and family suggest sending him to school, when I share my concerns with them. Personally, I think whatever issues you are having homeschooling are still going to be an issue if they are in school. The parent is still the person ultimately responsible for instilling good habits and character. I'm not sure if I would characterize the current state of affairs with my son as a crisis, although the teenage need for autonomy without the demonstrated ability to handle it, has been more difficult to navigate than I expected. I wonder if situations that feel like a crisis when you are in the middle of them, might seem more like a "bump" once you have successfully navigated them?? I don't think the teen years have to be this difficult. This child has always been hard. I expect his younger brothers to come through adolescence a little more smoothly.

My son needs to write a resume for the application process for Praxis. He is a rising senior. Anyone willing to share samples? Thanks!

Appreciating his thread, as my ds is in the same boat. So even if the school requires the writing section, they may not be that concerned with it?

https://www.discoverpraxis.com/ Anyone have experience with this?

At our recent college visits we have been told that higher scores equate to more scholarship money. Apparently admissions will offer a certain amount of money with your acceptance, then if your scores go up, you can receive more. They said we should let them know if ds's ACT or gpa scores increase. Wondering if this squares with other BTDT experience?

Thank you to those who posted about late bloomers with math. I appreciate that perspective and will definitely communicate that to my son. He was a late bloomer physically, and I suspect that might be what is going on here as well. With him being my oldest, I am happy to hear from those who can see beyond 11th grade. : )

My son has used MUS all the way through and made A's. He got to Precalculus and bombed. My son, like yours, was making A's in math, but did not perform well on the math section of the ACT or SAT. To address that issue, he completed (and corrected...very important) lots of practice tests. He also reviewed some concepts on Khan, but I know you son is not a fan of that website. He brought his ACT math score up to a 27; that was still lower than his other scores, but we are content with that. I wonder if one of the issues with MUS is that the tests are multiple choice? I've considered having my kids start working the problems without those options so I have a better idea of what they have truly mastered. I also think it is very important to not move forward until the student has truly mastered the material. I think my kids have cruised through some topics in a way that they weren't able to apply later. Just some thoughts based on my experience. Good luck!

Wondering that as well.