This has been so helpful! I can't thank you enough!! If I apply the Mock Trial hours to English during his junior year, that rounds out the coursework for that class. For senior year I will do the same, and include time he spent shadowing a professional mediator and volunteering for teen court. Those activities combined with his ACT score should fit the bill. Y'all are the best! Ashley

Smart, But Scattered for Teens https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_2_9?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=smart+but+scattered+teens&sprefix=smart+but%2Cstripbooks%2C158 The Student EQ Edge (with workbook) https://www.amazon.com/Student-EQ-Edge-Emotional-Intelligence/dp/111809459X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1467398211&sr=1-1&keywords=the+student+eq+edge

Working in the restaurant business actually provided a big boost in confidence right when he needed it. So it was a good experience for him.

Oh it's not "possible" executive skills issues, it's DEFINITELY EQ that is his bugaboo. We're still trying to figure out how that plays out in achieving his own goals, versus educational goals that seem irrelevant to him. I have a terrific book that helped us identify very specific areas of weakness, like "task initiation", but like any self-improvement goals, it takes maturity, accountability, and self-discipline to make progress. Not exactly hallmarks of an 18-year old male. ; )

I think this is exactly what appealed to him about the restaurant business. Honestly, I just don't think he has the maturity yet to do long-term goals. He was VERY late to mature physically, and his emotional maturity has matched that, while his mental capabilities zoomed ahead. My husband and I are not into giving a free lunch. DS just finished serving at a counselor for Boys' State (they invited him back), then visiting his grandmas to help them with things around the house, and is currently pursuing a work/study program at a crafting (blacksmithing) school. We consider that to be appropriately "engaged" for a gap year. I think at this stage in his life, he may regret not finishing his coursework, now that the reality of what that means is upon him. So I think he would receive the diploma as an act of grace and appreciate the clean slate. Of course, we don't want to rescue him from the lesson to learn here. There in lies the rub, huh? : )

These are my husband's feelings exactly. He shared them with me this morning, and that is what initiated us revisiting the issue.

Love the course name...and off the top of your head, no less. : ) Thanks! As far as returning to academics, that's going to have to be at his initiative. I'll do everything I can to help him, but if I've learned anything over the past 2 years, it's that.

This is so true. The problem was that until junior year his goal was to attend an undergraduate school that had a competitive mock trial team, then pursue a law degree. So I was actually trying to help him meet his goals. I think that's why we had such an unraveling; he started to sense that this long-held goal was not a good fit for him (right now), and it resulted in a sort of identity crisis. My hunch is he may return to that path after he has some time to mature. But if he wants to be a professional blacksmith, I'm cool with that too. : )

The dissonance you describe is exactly where I am at. For so long the diploma was serving alternately as the "carrot" or "stick" to get him across the finish line. I feel lke that's just not relevant anymore though. And as you said, I don't want to hamper his future. Thanks for taking the time to respond. It feels good to be understood. : )

I had not thought of using mock trial as an English credit, but he has tons of hours in it. Thanks!!!

Thanks, Regentrude. We share your concerns about getting to the root of the issue, so my son did see a counselor during the fall of last year. My take is that his weaknesses in executive skills, combined with his lack of motivation to complete something solely to put a check in a box, are what have resulted in his current circumstance. He is pursuing blacksmithing, has a social group, and seems much happier than when he was trying to "finish" school. What would be an example of a lower tier school? I think every program is going to require 4 years of English, and he doesn't have that. If his writing score on his SAT (which I need to look up) was passing, should I just let go of that requirement? He scored a 33 on the multiple choice writing section of the ACT. Appreciate you taking the time to respond. Ashley

Things began to fall apart for my DS (now 18) during his junior year (last year). He made it up to the very end, but failed to complete his courses. He did very minimal work during the first semester of his senior year, mostly just keeping his high school status so he could compete in Mock Trial. In January, he enrolled in 3 classes at the local community college (DE). He also failed to complete these. At that point we insisted he work, if he wasn't going to pursue school, so he got a job at local fast food restaurant. So here's the other side of the coin. We have homeschooled all the way through. He participated on the Mock Trial team all 4 years of high school, becoming one of our strongest members early on. He even won a national award for his achievement in mock trial. He scored a 30 on the ACT (composite). He work ethic is "renowned" by everyone he works for outside the home. He is very interested in blacksmithing, and has served as an apprentice at our local living history museum for several years. Until recently I felt that I could not award him a diploma because he hadn't met the goals we established for our homeschool (I'm not really concerned about our goals matching the diploma issued in our state.) When it became clear that he was not going to apply to college right after high school to pursue his original ambition of becoming an attorney, I modified my expectations. However, he still hasn't met those qualifications. Now my husband and I are thinking that our DS is as educated, articulate, and intelligent as most high school graduates, so why not just award him a diploma from our homeschool, so he isn't held back by the lack of it, like on employment applications. This wouldn't be a "giving in" thing....more of a reasonable "moving forward." Of course, if he decides to go to college, then he will have to address all the blank spaces on his transcript. I would love to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience (we can't be the only ones, right??) or can offer suggestions. Thanks so much!! Ashley

Beautiful Feet is an oldie, but goodie.

in addition to the selections above... fiction: The Giver, Ender's Game biography: Stalin: Russia's Man of Steel (to explore a different type of government) non-fiction: Uncle Eric books

I have a son that shuts down with the "school work completed before work or social life" approach. He gets so far behind that he's overwhelmed, then ends up just hanging out in his room accomplishing nothing. That doesn't seem healthy. So I understand how that approach doesn't work for every kid. In your situation, I would encourage the job at camp, too. My son, a junior, did not finish his math curriculum either this year. We were doing PreCalculus, but we basically had to go back and solidify some Algebra skills. So kudos to you for taking care of that now. In our situation, we will continue to work on math throughout the summer (around camp and work experiences). The goal is to finish 3/4's of the curriculum, call it Trigonometry on the transcript, and call next year PreCalculus/Calculus, depending on how far he gets.