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chocolatechip

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Everything posted by chocolatechip

  1. Well, your DH's opinion is based on concern for your safety, not some random whim. Based on that I'd probably walk. Is there an issue with concern over not being able to carry everything back if you walk? But in the end you'll have to decide what you think you should do.
  2. I'm sorry. That is hard. It must have felt like she resented you. :sad: I wouldn't be surprised if the way each of us looks at this whole issue is directly coloured by our personal experiences earlier in life.
  3. And I would agree wholeheartedly with all of these points. I don't feel that these values come into conflict with my opinion as expressed above.
  4. No. Not at all. I didn't say that, either - I only said that adult status comes with responsibility. One way adults take responsibility is by paying bills. Of course, this is not always true. Eventually there will be an adult whom children should respect because he/she is an adult, even if that individual doesn't contribute financially. I'm thinking of my uncle, who had fallen into a rough spot in life and was living with his parents. Of course it would have been vastly inappropriate for myself and my cousins to treat him as our equal simply because he didn't have a job or a way to support himself - he was (is) still an adult. I don't think at all that children's opinions don't matter simply because they pay no bills. I think it is perfectly acceptable for children to ask adults questions respectfully. However, that was not the idea I got of the situation from what the OP wrote. Her daughter doesn't understand why she can't have adult status, "literally feels as though she should have the right to treat adults as peers" (to quote the OP,) and her questions are posed in a rude, disrespectful manner. I didn't get the feeling the OP felt she shouldn't have to respect her daughter. I have no doubt that the OP truly wants to help her daughter understand this problem in a gentle way. But. Granting adult status to a child is different from giving respect to a child. The OP and her DH should be able to respect and value their daughter and her opinions without having to put up with an 8-yr-old treating them as her equals. I gave that opinion in my pp simply because I felt it might be a good way to help the OP's child understand how different the adult's world is. Kids see all the "perks" of being adults, but sometimes they don't realize what some of the sacrifices are. I'm sorry if my previous post was unnecessarily harsh.
  5. Adult status comes with responsibility. Tell her that if she wants "adult" status or "equal footing" with you and your DH, she would need to start paying for her insurance, food, share of water, gas, and electric bills, ect. ect. She doesn't have and is not capable of taking on adult responsibilities yet. Thus, she doesn't get to treat adults as equals: she should respect and honor you, your DH, and other adults for the responsibilities and sacrifices you take on to ensure her welfare and to provide for her.
  6. Definitely I would replace the car. Something is just fishy with a car with that many issues and only 88K - I'd be nervous to drive it for fear it would strand me somewhere! My Toyota Corolla has 273K, but it's still going strong and I'd trust it to take me anywhere. Like others have suggested, you could consider getting a less expensive, but still reliable, economical car to save funds for the kitchen.
  7. I like potlucks as well. I wouldn't find it tacky at all. However, I'm probably not the best indicator as I also find potluck weddings perfectly acceptable: the family is very sanely solving the food issue instead of trying to foot a bill they really couldn't afford for an expensive catered dinner. Plus, I like the more casual atmosphere. But that's me. Your mileage may vary.
  8. I'd be EXTREMELY tempted to respond like this were I in your situation! :rolleyes:
  9. I would plan on $100/day for the first two days/nights, then estimate pay for the third partial day based on your normal hourly wage. So if your hourly wage is $10, the "day" starts at 8:00 am (arbitrary time,) and you plan to return around 3:00pm, I'd pay $270, which I'd probably bump up to at least $275 just to make the numbers neat.
  10. Prayers for you and your family. May Steven's memory be eternal!
  11. I am new here, but I wanted to let you know that I will pray for you all. May God give you strength.
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