My son found his birthmother on Facebook within two weeks of starting.

I've got the Canadian strain of the same disease :).

Very sorry for your loss.

Congratulations! I remember bringing home our newborn daughter like it was yesterday ...17 years ago. We picked her up from agency....we left office thinking ...no, knowing we'd won the lottery!

That is awesome!

Thanks everyone. I got some sleep last night but I am still sad this morning. I will talk with my niece this morning to see how things are going today. RAD is such a difficult thing. I mean our eldest son also has FASD but he doesn't have RAD. He is difficult enough (but he is well connected to us which gives us some hope we can work through his issues (or I'm really naive and just hoping). Today is a new day....

I need some serious prayer tonight. My niece called to say my ds is rock bottom, depressed. I believe it. I think he's been suffering from depression at least all his teen years. I am very down about this. And, In my conversation with her I felt a bit like she was implying that some of the choices we made in parenting contribute to his current demise. I know she is exhausted. I mean she has three young children herself. I know she's probably at her wits end. We did the best that we could and it wasn't good enough. Tomorrow she is going to try and take him to dr. I did reconfirm with my niece that she can't save him. That maybe we have to seek out another plan.

Dd17: wishes I would pay more attention to her because more of my attention goes to our special needs kids :(. My ds17 said "if you'd buy me a dirt bike or quad I'd be satisfied." :)

I vote for Sula!

Two kitchens are fairly common amongst Europeans. We have a very multi-cultural community. Houses here often have two kitchens. Some use them as canning kitchens. Some have the "show" kitchen and the working kitchen. My own German family would us a downstairs kitchen for canning, etc. I'd love it!

Susan, thanks for posting this. Honestly, that is one thing I have learned in our journey...you never know people's story. I hope my boys come in contact with many people with your attitude. Oh and thanks for the reminder. Tonight (which is almost every night the same) we had an extra handful of teens crashing our place. We have an open door policy. But, I didn't really feel like the commotion tonight and felt myself get irritated. The truth is, most of the kids here tonight have some big struggles. I have to pray for more patience.

Thanks for checking in with me. My boy is still with my niece. Yay! My niece has gotten him to a dr, councillor and dentist in the month he's lived with her. We've had practically no contact with him this month (his choice) but my niece connects with me several times a week. Councillor he saw said he has some significant issues to work on. Hopefully he'll got again. My niece is concerned about ds and pot use. I guess his time with birthmother has led to a desire to use. It makes me very sad. She and her husband have some ideas to work through this. And hopefully councillor can address this. Two weeks ago he was suspended from school for one day. He and some classmates left school ground to smoke some weed. A bike patrol police officer drove by, told the kids to get rid of the weed and head back to class. What does my kid do? Argues with cop. So he cuffed him and took his name. The cop then tells my son "oh, I know your mom". My boy is living in a city of 100,000 people, 1500 km's away from us and he runs into a police officer who knows me. Well I hope my boy has learned how small the world is. Officer just took him back to school. He turns 16 next week. We sent a gift. We are planning a family trip to visit at Christmas. I did have one phone conversation with him last Saturday. It was so pleasant. He commented about missing my cooking. He even told me he loved me. We talked about half an hour and I knew in the back of my mind I should hang up while things were good. Must I didn't. And some how (typical RAD) it spiraled downhill quickly. It ended with him telling me how terrible we were as parents. So I'm happy he's with my niece. She is trying to guide him. He seems somewhat responsive.

Nasi goreng which is an Indonesian fried rice dish.

You must be closer to me :).

I had one and have never given birth. It was a bit of a pinch followed by a few cramps for a day or so. I was a leader at kids camp the summer I had the procedure. I left for a couple hours to have biopsy and went right back to camp. It was a bit uncomfortable but not outrageous for me. (I didn't require any meds.)

Wow, there's no such thing as too much mild in our house. We buy four jugs a week and used to buy five or six. And I don't drink milk. We have one teen who can drink 3/4 jug a day himself.

In my province we have graduated learner licensing. For one year any car they drive must have an "L" on back of car and for two years after that an "N" (for new driver). These are issued during the testing process.

Nope. You're not alone. I read it that way too. :)

Speedy recovery Joanne! ((Hugs))

Oh Joanne how terrible. I am so sorry this has happened to you. Lots of hugs and prayers going out to you tonight!

Me too! I have considered this in the past. It seems like a great deal.

Here's a brief update. He's still with my niece and her family and things are going quite well. She's managed to get him to a dr and a councillor (once) which we couldn't do. He is going to school. His anxiety levels are much higher since being with birth mom. Dr would like to treat this medically. Not sure how that will work (if he'd even take medication). I have limited conversations with him by his choice but because he's with family I'm not nervous about that. I don't know how long this will last but we take one day at a time. I did ask my brother, a social worker, if this possibly could work our for the longer run. He said its possible because he saw the worst at his birth mother's. So that's what's new this week.

My dd17 is pretty much independent. My ds17 has significant special needs and because I was a SAHM until he was 14 I understand how to work with him. My dh is quite helpful. He does laundry and shopping and vacuuming and driving kids. School was a hard thing for him to jump into in the high school years.

Thanks for all these suggestions. I'm pondering some lifestyle changes ( I better ponder quickly, my body is not happy.). One thing I have done this weekend is listen to music I like. I never allow myself the time and we always have so much commotion it's easy to forget something simple as music. And I did a bit of knitting. I do find that calming. Again, never enough hours. I do have to make food changes (did I mention I love coffee :)). And I have to find a way to exercise more. Keep suggestions coming if you have them. All are appreciated.

It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada so I'm thirty minutes away from a turkey feast!