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PeterPan

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Everything posted by PeterPan

  1. PeterPan

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    tph2 gene for 5htp which is the precursor to serotonin and melatonin. I never used to get tired like typical people, and now I do every night. Poor @annandatje I guess eat a burger with some b12 (run genetics to know which type), an iron pill, and a liver pill for the trace minerals like copper, wait 4 hours, THEN eat the ice cream. The calcium will bind the iron, so don't eat them together. To determine your form of b12 (methyl, adenosyl, hydroxy, etc.) they look at your comt and vdr genes. Or you could assume you need methylated and do that.
  2. Whoa, back up, cooking school? Tell me about this! I may have a reason/excuse to go to New Orleans finally! Well that and cruises. 🤣 But the combo would be an inescapable allure... For the safety question, just ask the people at the cooking school. They'll know the neighborhood and guide you. I would probably walk it either way, but I figure I'd be sober and the other people walking might not be, which would give me a safety advantage.
  3. PeterPan

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    The solution is always ice cream. Go buy a carton and keep eating till you know the answer.
  4. Not to sound overbasic, but what is your % fat in your diet and do you get outside to get fresh air each day? The pituitary gland needs oxygen, so something as simple as *sitting outside* each day can be helpful. Yesterday I was out on my porch swing, all bundled up with layers of fleece and blankets. Every day fresh air, the more the better.
  5. Btw, total aside, but a while back some people had mentioned Dr. Brooke Goldner, so I spent some time watching her videos on youtube. There's a lot of logic to what she's saying about inflammation and it's something you could read about. Now ironically, there's some new research on bananas showing they have a chemical that *locks* the polyphenols, so it made me wonder if that's why she's requiring such absurdly high amounts of produce in her approach. I got better with lower amounts BUT I wasn't constantly turning it into smoothies. Now that I've read about the banana research, I've stopped putting bananas in smoothies and am doing even better.
  6. I'm glad to hear you're doing a bit better!!
  7. I can, lol. Like seriously, I had that girl in to clean and started looking at stuff and went *wow you have old woman house*. People's bodies and realities are just at different places. I could totally see how by 50 she was in wind down mode. That must be a comfort to know she has someone close who can attend to her safety needs. Everything else is just bonus.
  8. The person who is local to your mom might call your county office on aging and ask them for advice.
  9. Have you done the basics like gone to a doctor and had all the normal bloodwork run? (thyroid, b vitamins, iron, vitamin D, etc.) Have you read Teitelbaum's book on CFS to work through the basics? Have you run genetics to properly deal with methylation and genetic causes of anxiety? Anxiety or depression can cause shut down which will mirror/aggravate CFS. Are your vitamin D levels in a good place? Have you addressed/released trauma? I used to be housebound with CFS and chemical sensitivities. I'm not now, but I had to do all those things. I also changed my diet (of course) using a nutritionist to be higher in fruits/veges, improve gut clearance, etc. etc. Vitamin D is the thing people forget or don't pay enough attention to and it can be dramatic for some. Trauma is the other that people just don't have on their radar but then realize was causing all kinds of weird issues. Trauma stores as sensory memory in the PSOAS which is the muscle running through your pelvis. That creates the tension leading to gut problems and to the cascade of depression, mood issues, energy issues, etc. You release the trauma and all kinds of good things happen.
  10. I'm going to hit 50 in a few years and I suspect there are a fair number of people here hitting 60 or higher. It seems like it's coloring the "oh 70 is not that old" conversation, lol.
  11. If this person is local, then she may be the logical POA. The person who becomes the POA can use their relationship to ensure safety. It means as we age we need more light. What seems like enough to you at a particular age won't be the same as what an older person needs to see in the same way.
  12. =no POA? Denial is not just a river in Egypt. There are people who need, um, extra help to get over the hurdle of yes we're really going to do this, yes you really need a POA, etc. I think it's that their anxiety is *so high* that it's easier for them to run from it. With one of those people, I used the tack that signing the POA let THEM choose who would make the decisions rather than the hospital, a social worker, the court, etc. That's probably what I would do on the next trip honestly. Show up with the forms and get someone written on the line and get it done. Then it's that person's problem to oversee humane conditions. It could be a local person who is not a relative even. I have a relative who ended up going the non-relative POA route. It's surprising how generous local people are willing to be, even for cantankerous people.
  13. Yes, you're probably going to look back and realize their age/health was affecting them much more than you realized. And it's ok, it just is what it is. It sounds like their issues affect their ability to accept help. Who is their POA? Is that person concerned? Do they feel the situation is affecting their health?
  14. If you think it's essential to do the cleaning, you show up and you do it. I'm just thinking unless it affects health it's not worth your time.
  15. And the tradeoff at that point is time with your parent vs. the cleaning. If you could go one extra day and bring a *team* of people to clean, that could be super cool. If you're asking if you can be guilt free, I mean, I don't know what you do. The limitations are the limitations. I would only *worry* about things that affect health. Like if there is MOLD building up making them sick and affecting breathing.
  16. Fwiw, I think old person's house *can* start sooner than you think and it sounds like she has it. If she doesn't want the stress of a person in her house cleaning (which is totally understandable), then the only question is whether you or someone she is comfortable with has time/space/energy to go in and work on it in bits. My dh offered to have someone come clean for me after the holidays and booked it sorta without asking. It was stressful but I resolved it by cleaning *with* her, which worked for me and frankly lowered the stress of someone coming in. I doubt a 70 yo woman wants to go clean hard like that, so that doesn't seem like a way to solve it. Just to have that person come clean without me being around, supervising, saying things, specifying, nope wouldn't have worked. Ironically, I liked the person and found they were good enough that after that I would have been happy to have them come clean any time, lol. If you could get them out for a couple hours, you could go in and clean whatever you think is most important for health. We've done that for my dad, though even that is still stressful. What might be the least stressful is to just pop in once a week and do something for an hour.
  17. Thanks, that looks like an amazing resource!
  18. Kelly Mahler is doing work on how to teach interoception (awareness and communication skills) with early learners. https://www.kelly-mahler.com/product/interoception-early-learners/ Her full curriculum has 3 different language levels, including a set that is for non-verbal/pre-verbal/non-readers. So at the jist, I'm suggesting that the person who has the mental space to work on it can do things like this, picking some appropriate vocabulary and creating visual tools to help him communicate. He probably doesn't actually need a lot of words, and you might be able to find some free printables for this age. https://autismlittlelearners.com/free-toileting-sequence/ Here's something with the sequencing but what I was hoping to find was something with the FEELINGS. (need to poop, need to pee, wet, ouch, whatever) another free resource https://www.autismspeaks.org/expert-opinion/seven-toilet-training-tips-help-nonverbal-kids-autism
  19. Can he get access to the medical account for dgs? It would be interesting to confirm whether the dc actually sees the doctor.
  20. Yeah, around here it's through age three. It creates the feeder system that gets them the push for the IEP, preschool services, etc. Delaying just slows down that access. There can be waits for private evals, so he really needs to tell himself to make this happen. Normally a mother, statistically, makes these things happen for her dc, even when things are tight. It really seems like she is distracted by her personal problems (drugs??) and not attending to her dc at all. Ok, so I'll throw this out and you can say you would never do it. You could call your county social services. Maybe it would end horribly or maybe it would be the additional help your ds needs to get things to a better place. In our state they are very bent toward keeping kids with families and helping the families get on track, so it *might* go well. I don't know honestly. It might give some documentation for the (negligence?) of bio mom, which your ds is going to need to protect his ds. If your ds is too down with his own challenges to help the dc AND the bio mom is negligent, I'd be looking for ways to intervene like that. But I wouldn't do that if your ds can reach out and grasp the help that is available. I hope he can.
  21. Oh my. Now I'm *not* anti spanking at all. However with this particular dc, it's probably making the situation worse. Spanking requires inference (I don't like what happens when I do this so I won't do it any more) and understanding cause/effect. This dc, from what you've described, probably gets neither. https://www.amazon.com/Stop-That-Seemingly-Senseless-Behavior/dp/1890627763/ref=sr_1_1?crid=KZYMGA9HYEC3&keywords=stop+that+seemingly+senseless+behavior&qid=1706067199&sprefix=stop+that+seemin%2Caps%2C103&sr=8-1 I'm not sure why this book is saying it's unavailable. It used to be an inexpensive kindle download, like $8, and it is super short, a super fast read. It tells you how to look for the function of the behavior so you can respond appropriately. This is the kind of stuff to talk with the EI people about when they come for the intake. Fwiw, I would actually take some comfort in the extreme reaction, because it means he *is* feeling it, even though he's overwhelmed. As you say, he's got a lot in his world right now that is overloading his system. My ds used to wet repeatedly from stress when we tried spanking him. We stopped. It was what we had been taught as right in our church, but it was physically not right for him, not instructive, and in his case actually harmful. And it's VERY HARD to have a child who is hard to work with anyway and lose that common tool. It gets really hard for a while and makes you look like a bad parent. But we couldn't deny the profound dissettling effects it had on his system. You might think about sensory things that are CALMING. Could you get him a weighted blanket? Weighted teddy bear? Weight is super calming. They make toddler size weighted blankets that are very light, maybe 6-8 pounds. They're usually going to say to go for 10%, but often people will go heavier, up to 20%. If the weight is a fuzz heavy, just use it for less time. So you can try it during the night or you can try it for a brief window like a nap.
  22. He seemed kind of disempowered by what is going on with the mother, but in the IEP and EI process he's going to have rights. Hope he can push and make things happen!
  23. The most basic explanation for this is executive function (EF) issues and ADHD. They might not attend or their brains might not be organizing what they're reading. There could be some narrative language issues. She could even have some low word retrieval or low processing speed. My dd, now grown and married btw, was this way, an exceptional reader but just pulling teeth to get her to talk about what she read. We finally did psych testing in middle school and she had a host of funky scores explaining it. So yes you should be paying attention to it, yes there are some things you can do. Would I do evals? Yeah actually, some early evals might save you a little grief in the long run. You could watch it a bit, but my 2nd kid I didn't wait so long. 😉 None of the stuff I've mentioned is really disastrous, just run of the mill ADHD/gifted type stuff that happens. At a more serious level there is *hyperlexia* which is the literal diagnosis for reading beyond comprehension. My ds did this but his diagnosis is ASD2, sigh. That's a lot more complex so hopefully that's not what is happening. But watch, try things, see what happens. So for strategies if it's EF/ADHD/giftedness? -picture books -audiobooks along with text -using products with STRUCTURE like the How to Report on Books series -reading aloud and doing a brief summary (1-2 sentences) at the end of each chapter -learning about narrative language and using some frameworks . Their blog has free printables. With my ds I pick what we're working on (PROBLEM, plan, feelings, steps, whatever) and tell him to listen for them as we read the story together. Picture books are AMAZING for this. You can do it with little magnets and manipulatives or you can just do it by talking. It gives them a way to wrap their brains around what they're listening for. Sometimes kids are so bright they can retell the ENTIRE CHAPTER or the entire book, so then it's really hard for them to know what to say. -giving the dc time to process -using word banks to help them with their retelling. So you go through and ask for ONE WORD for what the problem was, one word for what they did each step, one word for the feelings at the end. Then you help them put this together into a quick retelling. -here's an example of how to use story mapping with picture books. I used this series of shape books btw, totally adorable. https://mindwingconcepts.com/blogs/news/tech-tuesday-teaching-through-the-thought-bubble When you have a dc with unusual strengths, you're wanting to run with them while not glossing their pockets of weakness. Those unusual pockets of weakness can be very problematic in the long run, so I suggest just being honest about them. It's not being worried to be honest.
  24. One of the biggest mistakes we made early on was not getting in the EI system. There is a whole cascade of good things that happen when you ask for help and get in the system. Also, it's still taking a LONG TIME to get evals, so it's foolish to wait. No doctor would say to wait till 4 if he had full information. If your ds moves, where would the dc enroll? For the child's sake, I would get the dc into one school district that can offer good services and use whatever energy he has to advocate in the IEP process. Not to be nasty, but it sounds like this mother is on some kind of other planet. Who doesn't get their kid EI evals with this kind of obvious stuff going on?? I'm sorry your ds is having to deal with his own emotions. I would just be very matter of fact. The dc needs evals, the dc needs EI and to begin ps preschool/intervention. Maybe with that stability, your ds will have some mental space to deal with his own trauma without also being worried about his child.
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