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PeterPan last won the day on November 22 2013

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  1. My ds did that quite a bit, where he was walking down a hall, etc. and not responding. That's part of why I took him to the university audiology and had him checked. We had two students and a professor and they spent a lot of time with him. They would go from room to room because they had like 4 or 6 of the special enclosed booths, booths of different kinds, and they had regular exam rooms with equipment. Anyways, in walking between those rooms, they saw the not responding. Like literally he had rapport with one of the student audiologists, had been talking with her, and then just totally stopped responding. So it caught the attention of the audiologist prof right away and she made she they tested and did plenty extra. They took him in the booth they use for the APD testing and did part of it, even though he was barely 6 and not old enough by most people's standards. They just wanted to make SURE there was not an audiological explanation. There wasn't. It was the autism. He was in his aut and just would stop responding. And later as we got OT, it kind of came out that he had proprioception issues with things *behind* him. Like if you were talking and you were behind him, he wasn't aware of you. If his hand was behind him, he didn't feel confident of where it was. So he wasn't comfortable wiping himself on the toilet on his behind because it was behind him, where he didn't have that proper awareness. We did BalavisX with the OT and that improved pretty quickly btw.
  2. If you want a laugh, our girls share a b-day. My dd was never behind academically, but as we approached high school I really wanted her to have an extra year for bloom time. So my dd was not retained, because academically there had been no warrant, but as a mom I saw it would have been good at the end. It took her a whole year at college to finally blossom and realize WHY I had said that. It's easy to jump ahead later and sometimes hard to retain if they get things in their head.
  3. Thinking Social Communication Profile You might find this article helpful. Social Thinking deficits cross labels, so you can end up with those deficits but have a variety of DSM labels. In general, as far as your evals, the more skillful your person at the ADOS, the better. Now the ADOS can miss girls, but a person who's really really good at the ADOS also understands how to tease out what they're seeing. So definitely take your time picking the person and find someone who has experience with girls. There's a new video test for pragmatics, the CAPs. Might yield good data on her. You'd be looking for an SLP who specializes in social thinking who can administer it. It's newer, so it might be hard to find. Would be worth it though. There are also SLPs trained by Michelle Garcia Winner (of the Social Thinking stuff) who can do a dynamic assessment that is really helpful. They'll usually run narrative language, a test of problem solving, some screeners for theory of mind, and a bunch of stuff for social thinking. You can find the practitioner list on their site. The psychs are the ones people lean on to diagnose but really the SLPs are dealing with a lot of the actual intervention, which is why they tend to have really useful tests, etc. Going multi-factored like that can give you a lot of actionable info, more than if you only go to a psych. Now there *are* some psychs who do narrative language testing and more detailed testing, yes. In general though, even if you pay for a neuropsych, those screenings will be pretty limited. The CELF radically under-identifies language disability in these kids and yet it's the most common screener done by psychs. So build a team would be my advice.
  4. Well I put a lot of stock in mother gut, meaning if you think something is up something is up. And you already have ADHD and anxiety diagnosed and they've already concluded he doesn't have SLDs. So to me the question is just whether it goes farther, like into autism. We have no clue how he'd test on the SCAN3, but given that he has passed some other valid screening tools and that he has zero effect on his school work, I don't see how you're going to make any headway there. I fought for 3 years in the IEP process, so I get why you're fighting. I'm just saying make your lists and see what happens. Your best bet, just from what you've described, is to be listing out verbal, non-verbal, and social issues as well as anything relating to anxiety and EF. He might at least qualify for a 504 to get some of these things working more smoothly. An IEP means he needs specialized services. A 504 is a pretty common thing for ADHD and kids who are mainstreaming but need some supports. So I was told by the ps that my dd would have been one who would have gotten a 504. They did evals on her, but they were lick and a promise because she was so strong academically. To them there was little effect on her ability to access her education and accommodations were enough, no need for specialized services. Make your lists and see what happens. If your list is really strong about things that are happening that are affecting his ability to access his education and the school does nothing, you file a dispute and go through the IEE process. You have rights and protections. It's just one step at a time. But if you make your lists and can't show that things are affecting his ability to access his education, the school really doesn't have a charge there.
  5. That book Let Me Hear Your Voice was really profound for me. It's where I realized that the aut of autism was that withdrawal. But the line between ADHD and ASD is fuzzy, with the most extreme ADHD merging in. And they are finally getting explanations on the slow transitions, etc. Show talks about this in Teaching Your Child with Love and Skill: A Guide for Parents and Other Educators of Children With Autism, Including Moderate to Severe Autism If you haven't read it, it's another good read. She's an MD. It's when I see the level 3 kids and the most severe presentation that I can look at my own and see it. And it's true, there's a lot of that crunchy genius gig. But I don't think that's it. And I think it's ok for that to be a journey, understanding where you are, who you are. It's not like something that has to be sorted out. It's more a journey for some people, which is fine. Yeah, there was something I wanted to say to my ds yesterday that he needed to do better, and I was thinking back to things my mom said to me. I can look at those things now and know she was moralizing things that were intrinsic to me, things that weren't going to change. I do just one thing at a time and that's really it, and she was SO ADAMANT that it was a moral failing and that I really had to learn to do more things at the same time, lol. Nope, 35 years later still not. I don't remember what I was getting ready to slam ds about, but it really stopped me. If it's intrinsic to who he is, then it may just stay that way and that may just have to be ok.
  6. Just as a total aside, I hear you on the difficulty that causes! My dd had so many bizarre complaints that never really landed her anywhere, weren't fitting into categories. She has issues with how her brain processes and things bogging down. She concluded with her own research that she has synesthesia. But I think for op it's sort of a pit to fall into to say there must be a term and there must be a term NOW. Sometimes there's not a term or it's a term that becomes apparent over the long-haul.
  7. What would really suck is if you paid $700 cash and got told no on the APD. That would really suck. Would your insurance cover ASD testing? If you want the more global explanation, that's it. I'm just saying you're not saying APD symptoms at all. It's in a part of the brain that messes with language processing, and there's usually usually usually going to be a significant effect on dichotic listening. My dd had the dichotic listening issue and none of the rest. But when your psych and the school are saying they should see more effect (on phonological processing, on language), they're right. They're not shooting the breeze. You're not describing that. You're saying he struggles with attention and sometimes seems in his own world. That in his own world part is the aut of autism. It's the literal definition of it. Can you see if a university will actually do the full APD screening or testing (SCAN3, whtever) for free? Maybe if you drive? Seems to me even if you drive it will still be cheaper than that $700. That's a ton of money. What I would do in the meantime is take him to the pdoc, see what the pdoc thinks, and see if the pdoc would refer him to an ASD clinic for full evals. Then you could get language, psych, OT everything under one room, comprehensive evals. I would be seeing what you can get done that your insurance will cover. If the insurance will cover for him to see the pdoc, see the pdoc and get guidance on the next steps. That would be my two cents.
  8. Just as a suggestion, for me I had to work on banking up some experiences like that I could draw on. We assume people have them, but it could be it needs a little attention or intention to develop some that would work for her. I just went on a cruise (for the first time, woo-woo) so I have that. I very specifically made some sensory memories so I can stop and be there, on that balcony. And, don't laugh (or you can, who cares), but I watch cruise videos that show those things (what it was like on the balcony, etc.) to go back to that place in my mind. Also we did trips to Disney, same gig, where I have particular moments and memories. So maybe actively work on making a bank of those things for her. Just one or two good ones maybe. Take a little trip, see what she likes. It can be simple, like a walk on the river or smelling flowers at the grocery.
  9. Honestly, you're just describing normal symptoms of ADHD.
  10. The ped has to diagnose it in order to prescribe medications. It's just that every ped has how they roll. The previous place you went to gave you good advice saying to get psych evals. It's just that the place wasn't homeschool-friendly. Will the pdoc prescribe meds? If he will, then sure take him in. Personally, I would take him to the pdoc (if your insurance will cover it) because one the quality of care will be higher and two it opens the door for more complex discussions like the anxiety piece. That really seems like a reasonable path. There IS NO doggone absolute, wow we ran blood and this is what it is "test" for ADHD. You're looking at clusters of symptoms and assumptions. When you're asking a school, the question is what do you want to have happen? When you're asking an MD, the question is do you want meds? You've already had a psych say it's probably ADHD and that he wanted more evidence but sure it is. That was all he felt he could legally do. So I see no issue in talking with the pdoc and taking him in to the pdoc. If you can get coverage for that, it's a logical step and could result in good care. Well what are you trying to make happen? You want to make evals happen, so you need evidence that something is affecting his ability to access his education. So for instance if he has zero friends and is struggling with anxiety and depression and they don't realize this, then that's evidence you can bring that they have to do evals. Maybe he's coming home telling you things and you have data they don't. That's evidence. Or you see things like he's cutting or not responding to pain or other things you see creating a danger to himself. That could be evidence. Or he's getting in trouble for behaviors and you're connecting it with something else. He's having trouble with his locker because it's noisy or rushed or they push or... They have to have a reason that compels them to run evals. Make lists of what you're seeing and group them under general categories like verbal, non-verbal, and social. You could also take in the pdoc diagnosis and your list of what you're seeing, sure. But the screening tools are the screening tools. It's not helpful to say the explanation has to be APD, because it might not be. He might just be checking out and not attending. I will tell you that my dd was the type where some people would say oh do you think it's APD? Well I took her to Colorado to Able Kids, doesn't get any bigger than that, lol. Took her out there, and the ONLY thing she had issues with was background noise, which we already knew. It's not like the testing turns up hidden things. The school is right that you'd probably be seeing the effects in his school work if it were happening. Now we got a filter for her and it's brilliant. But no, this idea that all ADHD is really APD and that all ADHD kids will test as having APD just isn't correct.
  11. Ok, had to come back and add Bridge over River Kwai. My lists were a little woman heavy (haha, just a little), but this one has men in it and hits a lot of serious issues. You could throw in Stalag 17 while you're at it, just because William Holden... I think William Holden did a cameo on I Love Lucy once. You could have fun like that, tracing him for a day.
  12. When my dd was that age we watched through all the seasons of Star Trek (the original) in short order. That was a hoot and it made for a lot of discussions. You'd then of course watch the movies and go through Star Wars while you're at it. I suppose she'll need to see some of the new (Marvel) movies to be up on pop culture. I haven't seen them but the 20 somethings go on about them. Agree on a list of classics, but not all are conducive to *discussion*. If you go Katherine Hepburn, they will be because she was pushing feminist roles. Same gig with watching through I Love Lucy. Tons you can talk about there, especially when you get the back channel and realize why things were happening, how she was pushing the norm. I tend to like your older feminist stuff, (Barbara Stanwyck, etc.) anything that is exploring roles of women, so I'd watch all the versions you can of Jane Eyre together and compare, some old and new Pride & Prejudice versions, that kind of thing. Might be necessary to watch a little Gilbert & Sullivan. There's an adorable one with Angela Lansbury that would be enough to get her started. You can trace film history, watching movies being remade, but you said you wanted to discuss, not do film history. I can't think of really great discussion coming from anything with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers but she still needs to watch them, lol. All of them. So back to discussing, you'd be looking at movies like -The Morning After (nuclear war and love) -The Sound of Music (choices, growing up) -Sabrina, Roman Holiday, My Fair Lady, and basically anything with Audrey Hepburn -anything with Sidney Poitier. Again, just settle down and start watching. Every single one. You could start with A Patch of Blue, but really they're all mind-boggling. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner will give you Katherine Hepburn and Sidney Poitier together, which is just SO wow discussion-filled. That should be at the top of the list. Start there. Seriously. -everything with Katherine Hepburn. Woman of the Year, the movie with the stupid computer (Desk Set), Pat & Mike, all of them. -Gone with the Wind. It's so ubiquitous to culture and you get so much at once (history, Clark Gable, women's rights, great costumes). -Wuthering Heights, so you can grapple with the really important things. But then you'll be stumped by versions. Lawrence Olivier is ok but Timothy Dalton kills. -Good News with June Allyson and Peter Lawford, because the list got too heavy and the themes are well-done. Ok, it's only because Lawford's voice is beautiful. -Good Doctor--it's adorable in Korean but watch the version in English. They have a theme every episode that ties all the plots together, and it's just brilliantly done, very conducive to discussion. -Amistad--if you want to push it. Rated R for some nudity but profound. -agree with Pen on Schindler's List and Ghandi. Add Lawrence of Arabia to that list of you want. Runs in my mind Candice Bergen is in both, but I might be crazy. Nope, she was in Wind and the Lion with Sean Connery, that's what I was remembering. But crazy strong roll for a woman, lots to discuss. -Gentlemen Prefer Blondes--If you want Marilyn Monroe, this gives you lots to discuss. Or Tony Curtis in Some Like it Hot, but really I think about lines in GPB a lot because of the issues they tackled in such a charming way. -The More the Merrier with Jean Arthur, Charles Coburn, etc. hits all kinds of issues and just has these awesome lines that enter the vernacular. -The Best Years of Our Lives with Myrna Loy and a whole cast of greats. This would probably be #2 on my list. Very powerful, lots to discuss. -Sergeant York, High Noon, and most other Gary Cooper movies. Meet John Doe, Friendly Persuasion, Ball of Fire. Oh my, yeah. Definitely, lol. Sergeant York explores pacifism. High Noon hits bravery, role of women. -The Quiet Man with John Wayne. Living with guys, I've seen way more John Wayne that I'd have cared too, lol. This one is the most universally appealing and it happens to hit some delicious themes on women's rights and make you want to travel at the same time. -Brigadoon--Here you get Gene Kelly and Van Johnson and Cyd Charisse (score) and beautiful music with themes on work and love that deserve to be discussed. Something lighter to balance out the heavies but still a lot to discuss! -Meet Me in St. Louis--Ok, this is Judy Garland, and it too has a lot to discuss. Is it ESSENTIAL? I don't know. But it has so many big names and pulls together so much of history at a really pivotal time. It's a time of transition in the movie and you trace it. Not heavy. Gigi would also fall in that category. I happen to really love Gigi. -An American in Paris, again Gene Kelly and Lesley Carone. Is there anything to discuss? Well sure, more of who we love and why. If you're going there, Casablanca is an essential. Maybe not in 8th grade, but definitely an essential. Ok, this could go on forever. But I was trying to list things that you could *discuss*.
  13. Just as a total aside, I think the price for me before insurance was around $65 and after insurance was only $30. I have an HSA, so that was just the insurance price. Usually one of those GoodRX cards will get you pretty close. Can it happen that the op's dh just went in too early and that now that the fever has hit he would test positive? I don't know. And are there home tests for the flu or do you always have to see the doc? Home would be nice, wow.
  14. This is a discussion you can have with your ped. There are three main types of meds and what varies is the dispensing system (some form of time release vs. not time release). Your ped is the one to help you sort through whether that's an option that should be on the table.
  15. They don't have to do anything if you aren't bringing new evidence. Was this the school psych or a private psych? Either way, it's not their deal. That's a discussion between you and the ped. A lot of things can be addressed as a 504 if you can explain to them the specific problems and ask them for solutions/supports/accommodations. So anything involving EF supports would fall under a 504. It might be helpful to think in terms of what changes you're trying to make based on evals, rather than what evals you want. The school is not going to do evals just because you want them or are curious. You'll actually have to have evidence that they need to happen. So the coor is already telling you they've considered SLDs of all types and don't see them. That doesn't answer whether he needs EF supports or whether he has pragmatics issues or is having anxiety. I would let go things they've already said you don't have evidence for and move on to things you know are happening.
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