Also tug2.com for timeshares.

My brother died last year, and his ashes were spread at sea. I think his partner had some service do this for him, since he sent us all a certificate with the latitude/longitude some months after his death (not that we'll go to visit the site, but anyway...) My grandmother's cremains from 16 years ago are in a closet upstairs in my house. Now that I've had them so long, I can't bring myself to do anything with them. My recommendation is to think of something, and then do it quickly so this doesn't happen to you. I'm very sorry for your loss.

This describes my situation exactly - even down to my suspicions about ADD. When I'm "flying" I get hyperfocused and it tends to take over a bit, which explains why I can only do flylady off and on - currently off. My DH is an awesome house tidier but not a great cleaner. He can get any room looking company-ready in 5 minutes flat. BUT if you look closely, you'll see that the room isn't actually clean. I, on the other hand, get bogged down in perfectionism and it will take me a full day to get a room to be what I consider clean (i.e., curtains and windows washed, baseboards cleaned, vacuumed behind/under the furniture and not just the middle of the room, etc.). When I'm doing flylady, DH and I make a great team. He does the blessing, and I go back and really clean. My best takeaway from flylady is that doing anything is better than doing nothing. Even 15 minutes of working on a clutter/cleaning issue is better than throwing up your hands and saying, "I can't get it right today, so I won't even try." I also like her message that anything you do, even if done imperfectly, blesses your family. I need to remind myself of this. And the swish and swipe of the bathroom just makes so much sense. It takes all of 30 seconds to swish the toilet and wipe down the counters/sinks with a clorox wipe. I keep everything in the vanity and never have to be embarrassed about the state of my bathroom, which I think is the key indicator on the cleanliness of a home.

Not to freak you out or to suggest this is going on with your DH, but my brother had gut pain for a couple of years and it was diagnosed as a variety of things over that time. He was on a few different diets including an anti yeast diet that basically had him eating nothing but chicken and granny Smith apples. Earlier this year he was diagnosed with mesothelioma. We have no idea how or when he may have been exposed to asbestos. In reading about the disease I learned it often takes a long time to be diagnosed and often people are treated for a variety of abdominal illnesses before they figured it out. Not saying this is what is going on with your DH. But after my brother's situation I would take any long term abdominal pain very seriously and seek lots of testing until the doctors figure out something definitive.

My DS who is 3 years 9 months JUST trained. He is bright, no health issues, etc., but he just wasn't ready physically. He was willing to try training and would sit on the potty for ages and not a drop would come out. We had some luck leaving him naked from the waist down but it was sporadic and then it felt inconsistent to put him in a diaper to take him out or to go to bed. My mother was on my case about training him but I didn't think it was a big deal. I think that nagging/pushing too hard just makes it into a battle that there was no way I was going to win. I cannot MAKE the pee come out. Only he can, and it's as simple as that. About 6 weeks ago he got up one morning and said, "I think I'll wear underpants today." He hasn't had a diaper on again since and has had only one accident, which was diarrhea (ugh) so not something he could control. He hasn't even wet the bed. I had promised him a Lego kit when he trained. We waited a week, he got his kit, and now we're done. Long way of saying, I think you shouldn't push the issue. It's just frustrating for both you and the kids.

DD9 has been begging me for this new toy called a "Happy." It's basically a super-interactive zhu-zhu pet (remember those?). I think most 9yos have a rainbow loom at this point. DD's obsession is finally waning and I've observed the same thing among her peers in our area. A cool squirt gun and beach towel? DD loves her headlamp and gift card to Barnes and Noble for night reading. The Boogie Board ewriter a pp suggested looks awesome. My dd would go crazy for that.

Wow, just poked around to see what is available, and you can even rent a houseboat. Kind of spendy but looks like fun: http://www.vrbo.com/469793

Thanks for your input! I'm also getting nervous about the new flood insurance rates... I don't think we'd use the house more than a week or two out of the year. We like to travel and have limited vacation time. Was hoping someone would convince me that the rentals would cover the fees associated with hiring a management company, as well as maintenance, and PITI. But I guess it's not to be...

DH and I are considering purchasing a summer home on Cape Cod with a goal of using it one week per summer and then renting it out for the rest of the season. I'd appreciate any BTDT advice in terms of using a management company; any rule-of-thumb formula to figure out if it can break even financially; taxes; furnishings; anything else we may need to consider! Thanks in advance!

This is my very favorite show ever! Some of the couples work really well together, but most of them not so much. It is a great antidote for any DIY urges I may have. Neither DH nor I is particularly handy, nor do we work well together. We can't even manage a two-person kayak, much less a kitchen reno!

Dd had a winter wonderland party a couple of years ago - pre-frozen. I made a snow globe cake and it was so cute and easy. You can google it and see lots of ideas - maybe use some frozen toys inside the globe.

I think that you can't judge her general parenting based on what you observed at a family function. She may do really well at home but have been unwilling to make a scene or call attention to poor behavior in front of an audience. Every kid has good and bad days, as does every parent. Personally, I hate hate hate when I feel like people are observing how I manage my kids and I do a worse job as a result. The obvious exception was the car incident and I'm sure she's grateful that there was someone in the family who stepped in to help. I have some know it all tendencies myself but I think you should let this one go and assume that what you observed is not necessarily the norm in their household.

WOW! Sheila Fisher was my English professor in college! I was her teaching assistant for a Chaucer class. Holy mackerel. I didn't know she'd done a translation. Off to order it now. I remember her reading from the middle English, and she always managed to make it sound so smooth. "Whan that Aprill with his shoures soote..."

I know. We went to Nantasket Beach in MA a couple of weeks ago and DD went right in. I dipped my toes in and could barely stand it. She boogie boarded all day; don't know how she did it! I can't generally go in the water until August.

Here's where we stayed on PEI: The Good Cottages. The house and views were great. We didn't make use of the beach because it was only accessible at low tide and the stairs were super steep - too steep for DS to navigate or even for DH to feel comfortable carrying him. However, the location was good in that we were only about 20 minutes from Charlottetown, and we liked walking around/eating out. They have a great fire pit that was fun a couple of nights. The deck was perfect for my morning coffee. Lots of grassy space and a swingset for the kids to run around. We flew kites from the lawn overlooking the beach one of the afternoons. We saw a cruise ship sail by one night. For actual swimming, there is a beach/park down the street, that we used a couple of times. But again, it was tide dependent. We also went to a nearby town of Victoria-by-the-Sea that was really quaint and had a decent beach. Since actual beach time is a priority for us, if I had it to do over again, I'd look for a house on the north side of the island. But if you just like being near the water and looking at it, then this location would be great.

Oh, I'd also recommend Southport Island in Maine. It's a small island only accessible by swinging bridge so not too overrun at all. It's a bit further up there, but it's just like a postcard. We went to a wedding at the Newagen Seaside Inn. It was absolutely spectacular. Views were great. The resort was nice without being stuffy. Lots to do regardless of whether the weather cooperated. Boothbay Harbor is nearby for restaurants and shopping. Not sure how the Cape and Maine compare for costs, as we usually do the Cape beaches as a day trip since we live nearby.

Beaches here are freezing!!! But beautiful, too. Ogunquit is a nice, family-friendly beach in Maine with good accommodations, restaurants, shopping. Reasonable ride to other Maine locations. It's a lot longer ride for you, but last summer we rented a cottage on Prince Edward Island in Canada. It was gorgeous, and house rentals were very reasonable. For our trip there we drove along the Bay of Fundy and saw the tides and beautiful scenery. Water in the Northumberland Strait is said to be the warmest north of the Carolinas, and we found it to be very pleasant. Have you thought of Cape Cod? Closer to you would be the Delaware beaches which are supposed to be beautiful and the weather would surely be warmer.

I thought I'd have a problem weaning DS for bedtimes and was dreading it. Life stepped in, though, and made it easy for me. My mom ended up having a health issue so I had to spend lots of time at the hospital with her. DH did bedtimes and DS never even looked to nurse. No tears for DS, no angst/anxiety for me. Once the week of mom's hospitalization was over, the cycle was broken and we didn't need to worry about it again. I think your idea of not being available to DD is a good one and will help to make things easier for both of you.

Slache, I was just going to post the exact same thing. I never regret the things I do but I often regret the things I didn't. There's always going to be a more responsible use for money but I think living life to its fullest is just as much a responsibility as snow tires, a new washing machine or similar. If it's a choice between groceries or travel, then yes responsibility trumps the experience. But if the competing priorities are more mundane then they can wait. IMHO.

Knock back with the "two bits" and see if he gets it. About 15 years ago we had a contractor at the house for project that took a few days. He had a radio and liked to sing along. No biggie except he mis-heard all of the words to the songs and would come up with some crazy combinations. The one that sticks in my mind was Santana's "Smooth" which was played on the radio about 100 times a day at that time; contractor kept singing "cool" in place of the word "smooth." It really started to grate on my nerves a bit - and I'm not one to care about mistakes like that but it was just every single song...

This reminded me of banoffee pie, which I haven't made in ages but is incredibly delicious. I'd never heard of it before a trip to London where it was served in many restaurants. I ate it almost every night of the trip then came home and learned how to make it. Here's a link to a recipe: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/banoffee/ Question, though: it takes 3 hours to boil the can of milk to make the caramel. Can you do that in advance, put the can away for a few days, then use it when you need it?

So sorry to hear this latest news. Was thinking of her at church on Sunday; our Psalm was very appropriate: Psalm 69: 8-11, (12-17), 18-20 8 Surely, for your sake have I suffered reproach, * and shame has covered my face. 9 I have become a stranger to my own kindred, * an alien to my mother's children. 10 Zeal for your house has eaten me up; * the scorn of those who scorn you has fallen upon me. 11 I humbled myself with fasting, * but that was turned to my reproach. 12 I put on sack-cloth also, * and became a byword among them. 13 Those who sit at the gate murmur against me, * and the drunkards make songs about me. 14 But as for me, this is my prayer to you, * at the time you have set, O LORD: 15 “In your great mercy, O God, * answer me with your unfailing help. 16 Save me from the mire; do not let me sink; * let me be rescued from those who hate me and out of the deep waters. 17 Let not the torrent of waters wash over me, neither let the deep swallow me up; * do not let the Pit shut its mouth upon me. 18 Answer me, O LORD, for your love is kind; * in your great compassion, turn to me.†19 “Hide not your face from your servant; * be swift and answer me, for I am in distress. 20 Draw near to me and redeem me; * because of my enemies deliver me.â€

Thanks for the responses. I guess the take-away is that I need to make sure that he understands I'm correcting his speech/tone and not whatever need/preference he's expressing. There's always something to work on! He's feeling much better and at pre-school today, thank goodness!

3yo DS has a nasty stomach bug and had to stay home from preschool today. DH and I were discussing which of us should miss work to be with him, and DH just ended up asking DS whom he'd prefer to stay home. DS said he wanted DH to stay home with him, which was fine. When DH left the room, DS asked me if I was sad that he'd chosen DH. Of course, I reassured him that it was perfectly fine. I think DS's question stems from the fact that he frequently spurns DH in a not-too-nice way ("NO! I want Mommy to do it!"). I generally correct DS with a comment like, "When you say that to Daddy it hurts his feelings." But after this morning's incident, I wonder if instead of teaching him to be sensitive, I'm giving DS a layer of guilt. Guilt is a big driver in how I conduct my life, and I really don't want that for my kids. Any thoughts on this? Am I overthinking it? I want to raise a child who is sensitive to people and recognizes that what he says and does can hurt others. At the same time, I don't want him to think that he's completely responsible for the positive or negative feelings of other people, either.

I agree with this suggestion whole-heartedly. I'm pretty frugal and never buy anything that isn't on sale. I didn't even look at the price tag once I put these jeans on in the dressing room. I was buying them no matter what.