She is beautiful and has a good heart. I am delighted everything worked out just as it should.

And this lawyer mama is outraged on your behalf. I will do a bit of research and see what I can find. That is appalling for FB to have disrespected your young lady's safety and your wishes. I am not surprised but am definitely outraged. It is very hard to parent when society does not respect your boundaries for your children.

He is at home and going into the hospital for dialysis a few days each week. It is one matter to refuse to see those with whom one is not comfortable that is understandable and certainly the right of any person. However, to say my daughter is welcome but I am not is grotesque and reminds me of the old days on the plantation where the mixed race children were allowed in the big house but their mothers were exiled to the fields for the offense of being of color. This situation is far uglier than I have described. As bad as it gets. But I thank you for your honest insights and opinion nonetheless.

The many and varied responses here have given me several things to consider. I have not reposted until now as I have been up all morning and afternoon cooking. I told my husband that he was to call and let them know that beef stroganoff and a barley vegetarian dish were being delivered by my husband around 5 ish. I am deeply touched by the effort and honesty in each and every response. He is welcome to call me whatever he likes but I made a promise to cook for him and have kept my word. The phone rang about an hour ago and I could not hear it as I was cooking. There was no message but it was from BIL's home. If they are refusing the food it is no skin off my nose we will eat it and enjoy the fruits of my labor and love. It is tragic to me that they live this way. I choose not to follow their lead and to do what is right. I am respecting his wishes by not going over there nor will my sweet daughter be around where her mother is treated like dirt. However I promised to make his favorite dishes for him and my word is my bond. I might be a wh*re but I certainly am not petty and spiteful. I have to live with me. If my effort is refused so be it but the ugly is not on me.

I am not crying any more. I will respond to each of these helpful and loving posts. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And yes I do have more to worry about than this situation. I am very mindful that the statement was not offered to me in a generous or protective fashion. Cruelty and poison are par for the course Anne. You nailed it. Which breaks my heart in some ways as I hate to think others have been trodden upon with slander and malice. How can people behave in such a way? I could not do it. No way.

Phew what a month. My BIL had a quad bypass wherein they found cancer in the chest wall and in the kidneys as well a clear cell carcinoma. We have always had a tenuous relationship and he has however, come over here on weekends to watch TV sports with my husband. It is my practice to cook and serve food and treat him like an honored guest in my home despite his refusal to attend our wedding and telling anyone who would listen that I was a gold digging whore. For the record this is untrue. I actually come from a very well educated and well respected family and it was ludicrous to say such things. I forgave him and let this go many years ago. Presently I am alone in my study wondering what to do. I found out today that my husband was told by the third sibling who does not live here that I was not welcome to bring food or any have any involvement with helping out while BIL is ill. Further my husband was told that our daughter was welcome but I was not as I made BIL uncomfortable. I think this is coming from his spouse who does not know how often he came over here and ate gladly from my table. Who knows? This is something that to me crosses the line of decency. I am angry, hurt and feel quite betrayed after having waited on him hand and foot for years only to be told by a third party that I was not welcome nor was my assistance welcome at all. To be unflinchingly honest I have never felt so dirty and shameful in my life. Who on God's green earth would treat someone this way who has been kind and forgiving of cruel treatment? To be told that our daughter was welcome and I was not was worse than being slapped and fiercely so. Sadly, the man who told me this was not outraged, not in the least. You are a quick group and can figure this one out fairly quickly. I will respect the wishes that I have been informed of but feel that this is an attempt to marginalize me and demean my marriage. You could have knocked me over with a feather as this news was given to me as if it were no big deal...I am just horrified. What is going on here??

Always be willing to revise according to developmental changes. My daughter is graduating and starting college at 16. However, she is not going away but rather being placed in a program that is interdisciplinary, honors program and will be brought home in the evenings by yours truly. She was awarded huge merit aid at several schools but our choices were to stay here and attend the nearby state uni or I would move with her as she is our only child and there is no way I would feel comfortable sending her away to college yet. It is hard there are no perfect cut and dried solutions. Just do the best you can with what you know and be willing to change course should the very fluid situation of human development require you to choose midway that x is not workable so v is the next best course of action. Remain flexible and communicate with your child about this. We collectively opted for a radical grade skip having discussed all the various permutations that might entail. I am glad we did this. After all it is a family learning project not a unilateral gentle dictatorship here. Your experiences, personality and values might differ from ours but there is one constant in all families, rigidity does not make for good solutions or analysis.

And there may be a reason she is acting out. Tough call here. Send the information to her mother anonymously and hope for the best. That young lady could be in harm's way of this progressing as she grows older. You might be saving her life. Teens and drinking are a lethal mix. There are no good choices but doing nothing is not acceptable. What a terrible situation for all involved. Personally I think it is beyond brave to step forward with the information with the hope that in so doing you are protecting this girl from herself.

I do not find the criticisms to be particularly germane to home educated students. Taking the exams and performing well proves that the "mommy grades" are supported by statistically meaningful objective standards. We have a trove of merit aid that says the objective standards including AP exams not the course itself, matter a great deal. I taught the AP courses myself as the pass rates are abysmal at the local hs so in that particular fashion the author is correct, many students take the course because they think it looks good on their transcript but fail to understand that a crap grade on the exam makes the AP class meaningless. At the schools we applied to and many that I spoke with that are of the Seven Sisters dual enrollment at cc was suspect and likely no credit. AP exams accepted and credit awarded so long as there was a 4 out of 5. Even for Calc, Chem and so forth. Even our state Uni does not take cc credits. That is an unknown factor whereas most if not all colleges and Universities have a chart that shows what AP courses are accepted and the score needed to obtain credit at their particular institution. It is too darn hard for administrators to assess the course by course basis of what cc credits are acceptable and which are not. You have to make it easy to get to yes and ambiguity, uneven criteria and additional labor make that less likely. With an AP test they look at the course, your test score and voila yes it qualifies for credit or no it does not.

My dear friend, Please get darvocet.. You must not move during the procedure or the uterus can be perforated. I had one, it hurt like heck, it came back clean and I quit smoking the next day. 7 years ago. I still remember the discomfort. I am not trying to frighten you but want you to expect significant discomfort. Please get a pain pill, have someone drive you and be still so the MD can get the sample without injury to the uterus. I am glad that you have an MD who cares so much about your well being though. I wish you the best and if it helps, I would be there holding your hand until it was over. All will be well. Have a blessed New Year. elizabeth

Not a lawyer? You ought to be. I would hire you in a New York minute.

This lawyer has read the decision in its entirety and thinks the analysis used was that of a gatekeeper court. The method they used to get around it being federally protected and thus not discrimination based on gender was ridiculous. It was about power and who had it. I hope his shameless behaviour about having a" tent in his pants" made his wife proud. what a weak weasel of a man who could not simply deal with his own sexuality. Here is the case in full, it is one of the worst decisions yet. The voters got what they wanted and they have a court with puppets. A shame filled day again for Iowa. Here is a decison that will send a chill down the spine of every red blooded woman. I have known some lame-o men in my time but this one takes the cake. http://www.iowacourts.gov/Supreme_Court/Recent_Opinions/20121221/11-1857.pdf If you are an attractive woman in Iowa, watch it as you can be fired with no recourse even if your creepy boss says inappropriate things to you....

I just scrubbed baseboards for a week. At 3 AM . Sorry you are going through steroid therapy. It is likely helping your condition though. Heck stay up and write your lesson plans into next year!

I used this to draw out a splinter, it smells a bit like tar and vets use it all the time. It beats the heck out of infection or having the area jabbed at. If it is good enough for our vet it was good enough for me. The VET knew how to deal with this not our family doc. Go figure. It works like a charm. Hot epsom soaks will soften the skin to permit the foreign object to come to the surface. Soak for an hour then use this http://www.cvs.com/shop/product-detail/CVS-Drawing-Salve-Ichthammol-Ointment?skuId=705149 .

I do not know your situation but would encourage you to call Legal Aid in your county/city to seek free legal help if you need it. Not having access to funds is often a red flag that there is trouble and that perhaps you are not safe. Please pm me if I can help you with resources in your area.

Agree wholeheartedly. They are not useful to us and I must say that Singapore Math led us to the best possible scores on the tests that really count. However, what matters is what works for each family. Ours could do far more with our dollars by not using EPGY and instead using the Intensive Practice books by Singapore. Your experience might be different than ours. Look at Hoagies Gifted online and you can find plenty of information about both the Talent Search and what it might bring to your home education process. Hello by the way!!!

The whole idols thing would be a problem. Ask me how I know....I have a huge statue of Moses in my livingroom and Archangels all around. It makes my husband uncomfortable. Use snowmen or a lovely ice skater, a nature scene these would be good . you are so clever to have thought of doing this for the holidays.

I mailed my letter of recommendation today . The packet we originallly sent was filled with a veritable treasure trove of detail, transcripts, book lists, a research paper, grades, lord it was something like 30 pages. I am tired but deeply appreciate your advice, gentle reflections, suggestions and commiseration. It means a great deal as you have all been there and survived. I am starting to wonder how on earth people do this without running nekkid through the streets with paper madness! Thank you so much for taking time to respond .

Actually I welcome and was inquiring about both issues. This college is not known for generous aid but moderately so and they write huge articles about generations who have attended there which would be a 4th generation for ours. I really wanted to give everyone a heads up to go with their gut instinct , you have brought your child this far and no one knows better their abilities, weaknesses and strengths. Thank you for listening, thinking and responding.

They are Jesuit and known for merit and need aid. It is too soon to file the FAFSA and although we are lawyers we do not make so much as to negate need based aid and my husband is past retirement age. This is a reason to take an outside class if for no other reason. Good point!! Thanks for letting me share it has helped so much to hear from all the ladies here with thoughts and reflections about how to frame this and find a solution. Thank you.

I am sorry to hear that your alma mater was not a positive experience nor welcoming to the students of alumni and that the financial aid policies are stingy. This is so much harder than teaching substantive material. It has been deceptive, snarky and frankly weird. Schools that I would think would have no interest in her are giving full awards, no question and they are more competitive than my alma mater. The downside is they do not have one of her desired majors. She could pick up Latin at a nearby campus . I am tired of swimming upstream. Home schooling was easy except for the intermeddling of my husband's social contacts who could not put together a lego ship much less understand profound giftedness. I am darn glad that is over and they can kiss my grits. :lol: Best wishes to you Brenda and thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Her new guitar instructor would be the only one who could do so and sadly he has only been with us for three months. She does nothing other than belly dance, hula and guitar/vocal work for 4-5 hours a day along with 8 hours of academics. I think that an academic recommendation should not come from a dance teacher or pastor in any event. My outrage comes from the fact that I threw my career in the garbage to home educate a highly gifted child and this ninny thought she knew better than I who have done what she could never, ever do. So when I presented my letter of recommendation she said oh it would be best from an outsider. Thus a deacon from our church wrote a letter that was banal, full of generalities as he never taught her anything whatsoever. Therefore it was treated as the fluff it was. Who knows maybe they reserve all the financial aid for the profs kids since they no longer give free tuition as a perk. Somebody is getting their bread buttered and it is unfortunate that merit aid is not really MERIT aid but rather merit for those who need incentive not to send their children elsewhere. More reading has made this clear. Sigh. So exhausting. I have to trust the process and hope that if we have to move to take her where she can bloom then we go. It might be fabulous and interesting. One never knows.

Oh I had not considered that, as calling the financial aid folks to find out what was actually considered nor told them directly about the great offers I only shared those with the admissions counselor. This is a very good suggestion and I will use it. Thank you.

I followed the directions of an admissions counselor and rather than use my letter of recommendation as we have used no outside instructors even for AP and CLEP exams, and guess what happened? Financial aid from my alma mater was abysmal. Summa cum laude, 4th generation student and both parents attorneys from said alma mater as well. Has anyone had this happen? Specifically how have you handled being told that a recommendation other than from you was what was required from a college/uni even if you utilized no other instructor. I should have ignored her and used my playbook so to say as other colleges we have no history with offered full rides. I am so angry I could spit. Please share your experiences, thoughts and reflections on how to handle this mishandled situation. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this and if so inclined respond please. This is like working two full time jobs and I am at my wits end. Meanopausal as well...crud.

It is certainly a place to fly your freak flag. And there are nudist Mensa groups. They do not have the secret handshake though.:lol: