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elizabeth

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Everything posted by elizabeth

  1. We will have to agree to disagree. The Hyatt notebooks that I have read from 1939 on are fairly dispositive that the song Crossroads Blues were about needing to hitch a ride to avoid a lynching not selling his soul to the devil. If you do not know about hoodoo then your knowledge of blues lyrics and music is not based in the reality of those who sang it and wrote it. That is just a fact not a judgement. Cream and Eric Clapton in particular as a solo artist have done more damage to authentic blues musicians who actually can play than I can describe. I do this, my family plays this music and my 16 year old can play that music like it ought to be played, as could her uncle, grandfathers and grandmothers. I do hope you read the link I shared but here is another that supports my contention that it was Tommy Johnson who the story is about not Robert although he also was a hoodoo man as well. In the end we will likely agree to disagree but it sure is an interesting topic. http://xroads.virgin.../blues/crb.html Well trained minds question everything indeed and so here we are! And that in my mind is a good thing for all.
  2. OK Ladies here goes. I am a practitioner as in a hoodoo/christian conjure worker. It was not Robert Johnson and is commonly said but rather was said to be Tommy Johnson. Here is a link to the information and I hope you enjoy the links to the music as well as the best information on the net about African American folk magic or just plain old conjure. I know many here do not consider this to http://www.luckymojo.com/crossroads.html be "Godly" but it is for me so please be kind if you comment on my religious beliefs and I will certainly do likewise. I am a bit surprised this subject came up but there you go, so be it. You asked and I answered.
  3. And use wax on your hooks, the yarn will glide nicely over them. I use the wax for cross stitch threads like Kreinik metallics on my crochet hooks. We do exploded crochethttp://books.google.com/books?id=PxuARzerBwoC&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false think giant doilies as the center of a sweater back and hyperbolic crochet when the mathy mood hits. It was one of the great joys of my life pre rheumatoid now I can only go for 20 minutes at a time.
  4. elizabeth

    ..

    How horrible to get such news in that manner. I am sorry for your loss and I hope you have some good memories of the past to carry you through. How very sad and hurt you must feel. I am so sorry. :grouphug:
  5. Hate. I believe He died to conquer mankind's inexplicable ability to hate. As in God showing people go on hate me, torture me, spit on me, kill me but I will still love you. My love for you cannot be changed. That is just my understanding based on the Beatitudes primarily. I am not what many here would understand as Christian but that's ok I think on the continuim of beleiver sI fall more closely in the Christan camp than any other.
  6. Almay one stroke is a nice mascara as well. I use the old style cake mascara because it is thick and makes my eyes look like tarantulas. I wear eyeliner that would challenge Cleopatra for excess. It is in my blood, what can I say??
  7. Lawyer here. Black's Law Dictionary. http://www.blackslawdictionary.com/Home/Default.aspx . I still use this weekly if not more often.
  8. In our law practice we see primarily young people having children and when the reality, the crushing weight of responsbility comes upon them, their parents bail their sorry behinds out and raise their grandchildren. It is a sad state of affairs. That having been said when you have educated, responsible people becoming parents it is a great joy to behold and many of those families are in different circumstances than one might contemplate. In essence, kids ought not have kids. Period. However if they do it is one matter to have guilt over poor choices and a lack of responsible sexual behaviour it is entirely another to feel shame which is in my humble estimation not productive. Guilt is the sense that one has done something wrong and one should try to make right the worng. Shame is I am the sin or wrong, that is the totality of my identity. With shame there is little productive change. If you see yourself as only a wrong, a sin, an abomination then what is the point of trying to redeem one's identity at that point?
  9. And may I agree with all of the above. Often gas anesthesia makes one vomit, for days. It was awful in that regard. Otherwise, pain free and would do it again except ten years earlier.
  10. I had the procedure last year. I needed 6000.00 dollars worth of iron infusions to bring me to a decent hemoglovin hematocrit number prior to surgery. It is like being freed from prison. I could not leave my house 4-6 days a month. A miracle I tell you.
  11. You can always have color correction. They can color the teal area a nice cool nutmeg brown so she looks like she has black hair with some brown hilights. How unfortunate for all concerned.
  12. There are many, many people who are ordained by online sources. Actually many of them take their job very seriously.I am one. It has been my experience that many gay couples are not only not welcome to marry in many. if not most churches. Thus I felt I needed to make myself and the nearby gorgeous park available for services of marriage between persons regardless of gender. I charge nothing. It is what i believe in doing. Just my conscience and certainly others feel quite differently as is their choice. Here is a link http://www.themonastery.org/ There are many Christians who do this as well. You should be able to find a Universal Life Church minister in your area. Another great option is a JP that is who we used as no rabbi would marry us so it would have been unseemly to only have a priest and alienate the entire guest list on dh side by not having both a priest and a rabbi. Silly but there you have it.
  13. Frankly, many here have seen through my post and read what I did not disclose.They are correct in their assessment but the subject is forbidden here per the rules. However regarding the inlaws, if a man calls a woman a whore, any woman, you do not want your daughter around him. You hate me, you hate half of my daughter and have no respect for my marriage. These are toxic people and I refuse to bathe her in poisonous relationships that are not only negative but also train her to accept indecent conduct and speech. That is a recipe for disaster in her life as a young woman.
  14. Spiritual and physical cleansing are a large part of my life. I appreciate your wisdom and guidance. I am not what most would likely recognize as Christian but I certainly am a firm believer in returning evil with good when possible. It is no longer possible for me to do that without loathing myself. I need to disconnect from them without regret. I can do that now. I have done everything possible to try to remedy the situation and it is beyond me. So be it. I apprecite your constructive counsel and will take it to heart. Thank you.
  15. Thank you . This month has been horrible, I will not subjugate myself and deeply appreciate your kind words and support.
  16. I am so sorry to read that this is not at all uncommon. I cannot believe the grandmother of your children said such a horrific thing to you. Truly awful and inappropriate. So very, very wrong. And for what gain to say such things?? :sad: Again, someone I see as an old friend and i know how kind you are, this is just sad.
  17. Mommaduck, I have known you for ages here!! Not grilling at all you are trying to get facts and ideas straight to help me if you can. I would never misconstrue your efforts to shine some light on a dark situation. I consider you an old friend at this point. And many of the ladies here have been so kind and helpful it is just a huge blessing today. You have no idea how hurt and sad and icky I felt and thank you for giving me a safe place to bare my soul and learn something from others who have had some difficulties in their families. I am beyond touched by the kindness and thoughtfullness. Much to consider and thank you. elizabeth
  18. She is 16 and has no interest in any relationship due to his behaviour in the past and the present. She got into Smith and Bryn Mawr having worked her heart out to achieve academic excellence, his response,"You will become a lesbian, who wants to go to school with lesbians." Lovely. Supportive...yuck. but he is her uncle so I tried to make light of it and said he was being silly. I tried to minimize his foul remarks. You see we have dealt with death and dying many times in my family. She has helped feed a dear family friend her final meal. And knows how to sing a body into peaceful rest . They are not that way. Never a card, a flower arrangement certainly no food or a call to offer to help in some way. That is not the way I function. I am a roll the sleeves up, clean the bedding, sing to the dying and the family can count on me to do the really, really hard things. I have done hair, helped dress and prepare the dead for friends and it is a last service for them. I take this very seriously and have had much experience with all sorts of loss. I really only care about protecting my daughter from the poison that surrounds my dh family. Ever seen Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?? Big Daddy with a mean old heart. Truly I cannot adequately tell you in words who he is . Think power, money, cruelty and venom. And I am his target this time. I have decided to give it no more thought or energy let God deal with it because I cannot. I refuse to continue to bask in the toxic stew that is my dh family of origin nor will I ever subject my child to it. Done.
  19. Like garbage. Thus my effort to reach out to her in any way possible. I have offered repeatedly to run errands, clean house, fend off office staff, walk her dog, cook, bring carry out. etc. The third sibling, a man, is married to a gentleman who is kind and funny with great talent. I adore him. He is also garbage worthy as he is "after the money." So sad. It must have been he** on earth in that household when they were growing up. Money is not evil but by bosh it can cause people to go absolutely nuts if they think someone is after it.Good question. All spouses, all genders are treated with derision and contempt when he feels like it. Not good at all.
  20. You do not have the facts correct at all. Please read my posts and all of them before judging me and speaking to me as if I were a spoiled child. It is fine to disagree but your tone is condescending as I am reading it. Please know that I have been helpful all along including the numerous occasions where he simply showed up and spent the day over here. I never once treated him with anything but respect despite his cruel past. Dh brother unceremoniously tossed him out of their law firm and I REBUILT that relationship by making him welcome in our home . You have no idea what you are speaking about.
  21. Thank you. I appreciate what you are saying. Normalizing vile behaviour is a mar on a child's heart.
  22. It is racial and religious bigotry writ large. My daughter is a precious, kind child. To disrespect me and to condone that is implying that such conduct is acceptable. It is not. You seriously would send your child to visit a person who told her that her mother was not welcome??! Dear God this is insanity! This is not about" perception", this is about public humiliation and rejection to please his very jealous wife who is insane. Everyone from insurance execs, cops, other lawyers, doctors, his MIL, the Mayor the whole damn community has been there but I am somehow suddenly once again unacceptable. The bottom line is he is a wretched, cruel person who will never, ever change and likely will spend eternity clutching his money. He cannot accept kindness because he thinks everything has a cost. He has seen his niece on the many, many , many occasions when he stopped by here. Now of all things I am the family scapegoat. Thank goodness my daughter has a mother who will protect her from such unstable, borderline personality game players. My reason to keep her away is simple. You hate me ,you hate half of my child. I am half of that child and to teach her that dying people can act like jackasses spouting cruel words and making obscene remarks about her parents is no lesson at all. There is honor and decency in forbearance. I will not sully her image of me by teaching her that it is ok if someone calls mommy a whore and tells her to cook something and then refuses the food when brought by a relative with whom he is comfortable. He will get exactly what he treasures, his money and his belief that he can own anyone. Not on my watch baby. No way.
  23. Actually the reverse is true. BIL stated last week to his third sibling that he in fact had never considered me family and I was not welcome to visit but my daughter could.This after dining at my home for many occasions and asking me to cook an elegant dinner for he and his best friend which I did quite obligingly. Silver, fine china 6 courses and dessert. So no I never had a clue HE was hanging on to old conflict until the past week. I had no reason to. He has made himself a frequent guest at my home so why on earth would I think he saw me as an outsider? I did not set myself up for abuse. All I have done is try to avoid friction that would cause my husband pain. I offered a month ago to make food and his wife gave me a list of things he liked. Sorry but I was led to believe until last week that there was no issue whatsoever until my husband informed that the third sibling called with his ugly messaage that I was not welcome but my daughter was. And I did honor his wishes I never set foot anywhere near him or his home. The fact is they are all absolutey convinced that ANYONE who does any kindness is after their immense wealth. Maybe it is ok for you to be told you are a gold digging whore, never apologized to despite your continued hospitality, and then had someone give you a list of foods that were acceptable, then told no you as a person were not welcome and then watched your husband have his repeated calls and texts rejected as well. I have boundaries around what is civil and gracious behaviour. And the man will die alone except for his wife as their children avoid them like the plague due to the endless cruelty and dysfunction. I hope his wealth is a great comfort to them both as that is all they have, they have shoved everyone else aside including the housekeeper who has cleaned for them for 40 years. But yes I did bring rudeness and uncivil conduct my way by preparing a lovely meal that accorded with his spouse's instructions to me . Good grief you should meet them as you would likely get along quite well. No one deserves to be treated with dismissive rudeness and cruelty like an errant house servant. No one. Making a dinner to cause conflict does not fly either, my husband has been over there daily for weeks. This is about their neurotic obsession with never needing to say thank you. Money does not buy class nor does education. The behaviour exhibited by them is appalling. For the record, I took care of their father when he was dying and he would be so very very ashamed at this conduct. You have not had all the facts at your disposal so I will assume the best that I failed to explain the background adequately. But saying to a woman who was called a gold digging whore and has done nothing but be kind to the person who uttered such cruel words that she deserved the treatment dealt to her is an affront to basic common decency.
  24. When the food was ready at 5:30, dh called and texted. They were unapologetic and said today would not work as they had already eaten(despite dh call to them at noon) . They then said that I could cook the same thing tommorrow and that would be fine. I told them I did not have time as dd has a guitar performance from 10 to 2 at a local restaurant, then a couple hours of taking down decorations at the law office and dinner before belly dance classes. the gall of these people. To go out to eat and suggest I simply remake the meal tomorrow as if I have nothing to do but jump at their every whim? Sorry folks I am not the hired help. Their message was sent to me and understood. I am done. And relieved. I like clarity and their feelings for me were made abundantly clear. What is the deal is this crap on the nice people week or what?!
  25. No advice. We ate a gorgeous meal that was prepared for BIL who is quite ill. It was refused and I was told maybe if I make it again tomorrow that my husband could bring it by. Right there with you," I will not subject my family and myself to any more of your abuse." God awful behaviour abounds. I am so sorry that your love, hard work and money was belittled by someone who cannot possibly give of themselves in this way. That is part of the problem isn't it? They cannot conceive of being loved despite being essentially unlovable. So they throw love freely offered back at those who have not abandoned them. God bless you and your family for trying desperately to help her. I am sorry you are frustrated and hurting . Vent away. kind soul, vent away. :grouphug:
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