Oh, I'm am so sorry you are under this much stress. I don't have a lot of detailed advice, just "hope" that there is a peace to be found on the other side of debt. DH and I have done stupid with money as well, but as of last month, we are debt free (praise God!) and will never go back! (Lord willing...)
We owe all of it to hard work and lots of knowledge from Dave Ramsey. http://www.daveramsey.com You don't need to buy anything from his sight to still get great info. (Although Financial Peace University is worth every penny.) I love to listen to his radio show every day, and I still cry when I hear stories of people calling in and yelling, "WE'RE DEBT FREE!!!!" You can also find his books at the library.
On an emergency basis, he has great advice on how to deal with credit collectors. (only talking to then every two weeks, not letting them ever be rude to you, know that they lie every time they talk to you, making sure you are paying for your necessities first - not your credit card bill, working deals for pennies on the dollar, NEVER giving them you checking account information, etc...)
You have my love and I know you can have a completely different financial reality in the near future. :grouphug: Also, thanks for being so honest about your money. I think the fact that we don't talk about it honestly and openly is one of the reasons so many of us get into trouble.