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Everything posted by Danestress

  1. My mom has a cavapoo/cavadoodle. Lovely dog but she barks a lot. I would probably jump overboard on a long journey with her. But she is snuggly, great with children, non-shedding, She is bigger than my mother expected - 22 pounds, and would be tough on a long flight as a lap dog.
  2. My husband would say, "Lots and lots of tea." If I spent too much time on tea and the undershirts weren't getting attention, he could live with that. But I have found that soaking undershirts in very hot water with oxyy/clean really helps.
  3. Lucy Liu is not obliged to worry about what standard "we want to set" for career women. "We" aren't setting any standards, and I don't think lumping all women who get paid to do something into the category 'career women' and then treating the decisions of one of those women as setting standards for the rest makes sense. And women 47 years old have a fertility problem almost by definition. That doesn't mean they can't get pregnant and carry to term, but the odds are much lower.
  4. That would be a PERFECT gift. Are you kidding? She will treasure them.
  5. Last name! Eta explanation - a lot of people hate monograms. They were so trendy for a while, and people were even monogrammimg their cars. Some people might like the first name - I would not so much. I would greatly prefer my last name, but I have an awesome, short and unusual last name so that colors it for me. I don't know anyone besides my parents sisters and a few relative who have my last name. But I do think there could be security risks associated with any name on a bag. If I did a monogram, it would not be a fancy one - just block initials.
  6. That is most definitely something to party about - for them and for you!
  7. The problem for employed parents and their bosses is that many parents need a few sick days for themselves, and then days to care for sick children. We had a single mother of three who lost several days a month, on average, between her own illnesses and her children's. Our business really can't function that way. I don't know how these situations should be handed, but they are very real problems in many work environments.
  8. The article stated 400 a year, and referenced no data whatsoever about the number of these surgeries performed because of birth defects, injuries, reconstruction after non-elective surgery etc. I will withhold my outrage until I read a well sourced article.
  9. Oh, another dollar saver is that I did not have a photographer at the reception/dinner. I wanted everyone (including me) to relax, enjoy without intrusion, be free from the pressure of posing, and not worry about how they looked. We did photos at the church, and that was it. I didn't make that decision based on cost, but its an example of an 'essential' that I found entirely non-essential. I absolutely can imagine a different brides prioritizing photos and cutting elsewhere.
  10. Some people serve a meal because guests are traveling - even just an hour or so, and will need a meal. I could not have a wedding without a meal - many family members drove into town, spent at least one night, and feeding them a meal was a basic hospitality. Even those who drove from an hour away, a meal is going to need to happen while on the road or in town, and having a guest leave and then pay for their own meal would not seem right. Some of the things listed in the post above were unnecessary to me. If I had a million dollar budget, I probably would not do boutineers and corsages for family members. That seems so 'prom' to me. I thought attendants were unnecessary. Dh was capable of carrying a ring, and I didn't need someone to babysit the train of my dress. I don't think we marked off pews. That's what ushers are for. We were married in a beautiful church that appeared to already have candles, so no rentals there. But for me, a nice meal was a basic desire. This is not to say I am right, but rather that the best weddings reflect the personalities, preferences and values of the participants. I wanted family and my closest friends, and I wanted to treat them very well. Dh and I both have have small families, so we only had forty or fifty, but our guests ate and drank well. If our guests all lived in town, a meal might have not seemed as important. If keeping it small would have hurt a lot of feelings, I would have probably planned differently. If we had been on a tighter budget, maybe finger foods would have had to do. Everyone makes choices, and budget determines a lot of those. But hospitality would always be funded first for me.
  11. That was actually my very first thought - the mandala.
  12. How much time is your sister gong to have for visitation now? Will the children have to change schools?
  13. Good mattresses. I insist my children and I have good quality mattresses. Good shoes. I have bad feet and can't wear a lot of cute shoes. I need awesome arch support. So I do not have the number of shoes some women have, but all of them are high quality and last. Good coffee. I don't buy coffee out often. I spend more for good beans to grind at home, though. Tipping and treating. I tip well, offer to buy others' meals or coffee frequently, and try to help others out a bit. I want to live in a generous world so it feels worth it to me to put out a bit extra and try to never be stingy. It feels good to me to give when I don't have to, as opposed to those obligatory expenses that I resent sometimes. Hot water. I know. Energy bills. Environmental foot print. But hot showers are so comforting. I love them so much.
  14. Maybe dad has the tatoo in honor of a child or brother he lost. Or maybe he has a living son named Michael. Either way, he is adopting this child and using the child's middle name because you can't have two boys with the same name or doesn't want to have it seem like this boy is a replacement.
  15. 90% of the time I still can't believe someone so awesome married me. He still is just - so wonderful. 10% of the time I wonder what alternate universe I inhabit what he seems great, because it's suddenly clear to me that he's a jerk. But those 90% times feel real overall.
  16. I haven't hit menopause yet. I hate exercising soooo much, and may have to do it anyway at that point. Right now, I have stayed within a ten pound range (apart from pregnancy) for many years. I was pudgy in high school, but I think food became less emotional/comforting when I got older. I am not a big sweets eater. I like my coffee black and don't drink soda much. I eat eggs and toast or oatmeall with an egg beat into it most morning. But sometimes I skip. Sometimes I eat lunch, other times a protein bar. Now that I am working, I eat fast food at lunch a couple of times a week. I have a beer or glass of wine and then a pretty solid dinner - meat, vegetables, bread or rice. I definitely don't eat enough some days, but I am a late night snacker. Often I eat toast before bed. Or yogurt. No one should emulate my eating habits. I know carbs aren't great and more vegetables would be better. But I do eat what I want, and I am on the slender side. I just don't want as much sweet junk as many people. I don't really care about cake/candy/cookies. I don't like feeling stuffed, but I don't like snacking either. My preference is to eat more at meals so I won't think about food later. But as I have said, I do skip meals and don't always notice until later.
  17. I think she was asking, "Has anyone else ever felt this way? Please tell me that am not alone." I don't think she was asking, "How should I manage money differently?" Even though people answer as they please on a public forum, I think sometimes kindness and sympathy is the better response. Or even, just asking if the person wants advice or input. Otherwise, people learn to never ask for a word of encouragement or commiseration here because their perceived failings will be used against them at that moment when they are in pain.
  18. when we are talking about stranger child abduction, it's a rare thing. But to the extent it happens, boys are vulnerable too. I not sure a boy at 7 is anymore able to defend himself than a girl. But I think some people think 'victim' and a female is all they can envision.
  19. I would focus on my own kid. If I were her Mom, I would be livid at my son and make him apologize on the theory that no one can 'make' you do the wrong thing. But as *your* son's mom, I would be telling him that if he is picking on people, he is creating the problem. If the kid asked him to stop and he didn't, your son is creating the problem. That is an 'if' because I certainly would want to know if your son has a different story. If you son is usually kind and mild mannered, I would Wonder about the veracity of the other kid's story. If he has been mouthy before and you believe that is true, I would be asking my son how he plans to pay to replace glasses, and I would not be willing to accept excuses for his behavior.
  20. I am an organized, analytical thinker. I am good at things like identifying what facts are relevant, composing arguments and rebutting counter arguments, outlining, etc. I am truly terrible at keeping track of material things. I spend a lot of time looking for keys, hunting down misfiled papers, and trying to remember where I parked,. I don't think it stifles creativity to learn to express thoughts, facts, themes etc in an organized way. One thing that seems to help 'rabbit hole' thinkers is to teach them to ask ""What is this all about?" then, "What is important in order to cover this matter?" and then, "Which supporting facts/arguments/ideas am I weak on?" Child may decide to write a paper on whether we need more regulation of dog breeders. He might identify that he needs to cover what it is about dog breeding that is problematic, what type of regulation might address these problems, the reasons why regulation might not really address those issues, and what additional problems might be created by regulation. At some point, he might recognize, "I actually don't know what regulations we already have." If he avoids doing the hard work of focusing on where his knowledge and discussion is weak, he will tend to overwrite what he wants to write about (how great dogs are, how sad puppy mills are etc) without good facts and thoughtful analysis.
  21. I agree. I cannot tell you how difficult it was for me in the last couple years of my father's life, as he was in and out the hospital and rehabs, when people would say he should never be left alone. He was the type of patient who actually did need an advocate. There were times when I stayed with him overnight every night for a week or two here, a week or two there. That required me being awake and aware. And when people said they would never leave him alone, I struggled with guilt. Because there are 16 other hours in the day. I don't know how people sustain several years of an ill relative being in and out of the hospital without leaving them. It would take at least four people committed to full time supervision to make that work. I don't see how we could have done it. My mom even hired a 'home health care' aid full time. If he were in the hospital, that's where she went. But she could not afford that 24 our a day.
  22. I agree. I cannot tell you how difficult it was for me in the last couple years of my father's life, as he was in and out the hospital and rehabs, when people would say he should never be left alone. He was the type of patient who actually did need an advocate. I spent many nights sitting up with him in the hospital, and this was very challenging for me and for my whole family. I was homeschooling and had three kids who also needed me. I often stayed with him overnight - some And when people said they would never leave him alone, I struggled with guilt. Because there are 16 other hours in the day. My parents had more means than most people, and my mother hired a 'home health' person who came to the hospital/rehab/their home (wherever he was) 8 hours a day, four days a week.
  23. I guess if you want to know if you have a right to an attendant of your preferred gender, you have to look at the law, hospital regulations, insurance policy or wherever else that 'right' might be expressed. You certainly have a right to *ask* for a female attendant even if they have a right to refuse. And You have a right to ask the hospital to consider creating a policy allowing you to demand it. I think you have a right to complain, though they may also have a right to not change anything you are complaining about.
  24. Also, I really like King's Moumtain National Military Park. They could combine that with hiking up crowder Moumtain.
  25. The Raptr center is one of my favorites. It's one of a pleasant place to be even apart from the raptors. It's near Latta Plamtation so you could do both.
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