Jump to content

Menu

Danestress

Members
  • Content Count

    7,513
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Danestress

  1. I personally would take note and talk to my child about the issues, but I would not quit or threaten to do so unless the conduct was dangerous, abusive, or clearly cheating. I tell my kids that they can deal with and grow from these experiences, that coaches and teachers who disappoint us are ways to learn empathy and to think about who THEY want to be as adults. I think teaching kids to 'cope' with problems is so important. I would not like it and don't approve, but I also don't want my kids to think we just quit things when we don't like them. If I was disgusted with the coach, I woul
  2. Yes, I have started working, even though I don't need to. In truth, "need" is relative, I guess. For me, it's the opposite of the normal scenario. I like being home alone. I like cleaning and gardening and reading. I don't need to be "out" doing things or mixing with others. But working forces me to do things i don't want to do, learn things that feel "too hard," make my brain focus, force me to push my self. It also helps me appreciate how hard my husband's days are. I feel like we have much more in common now. After I was done schooling, I really had no plan to work. But when
  3. No, you waited half an hour to start what you were going to do with DH. That doesn't seem bad at all to me. If I let things like that "hurt" me, I would be a walking wound, not because DH is inconsiderate or hurtful, but because his profession is a bit demanding at times. I have limits and I know how to express them, but a half hour call doesn't seem like a big deal to me, and if DH wants to get it done before hanging out, that is OK most of the time. If we had plans to go somewhere or do something time sensitive, I would feel differently. But just to watch a movie? Not a big deal. And i
  4. Oh please. Nice attempt at trying to create a 'war' when none exists. My rapidly aging hair is not a statement. Maybe she thinks it is, but she has no idea. Reactive to dyes? Too busy for touching up roots? Trying to reduce expenses? Feeling solidarity with my late great white- haired grandfather? And I don't think dying ones hair really makes a statement other than, I guess, "for now, I choose to dye my hair." I am pretty grey at 48. I don't care, and I seriously doubt anyone else does either. In my experience, 99% of people are mostly interested in their own live, choices, and
  5. There is no 'right' way to divide work and home responsibilities. But in your case, I think I would be afraid to quit my job. I would worry that your DH is barely supporting you now, so what if his health gets worse? Part of me would want to work on my own ability to support the family. My instinct is to say that it doesn't require heavy lifting to get kids the age of yours to bed. I would make it their responsibility, but would expect him to enforce it. I don't think someone able to perform basic life functions and even hold a job would be totally unable to do that.
  6. As the guest I would probably send the parent being thanked and the other would stay home with the kids. I would not want to pay for a sitter to attend (as the non-honoree), and I would not want to take my children and inconvenience you. If we were both being thanked, I would send whichever of us was truly most engaged in the graduate's life. My guess is that this is what will happen. But of they being the kids, being accommodating and good natured about it is probably a great way to say 'thank you.'
  7. So beautiful! I love her dress, her hair, everything!
  8. I have two methods. 1. Ignore. And my front doors are glass, so sometimes they see ignoring and can also see my big dog NOT ignoring. Or 2. Answer the door just thank them but tell them it is a no soliciting neighborhood. I am gathering the resolve to add that if they didn't see that sign in the neighborhood, now they know, so I don't want to see them at a neighbors door when they leave mine. I am really a pretty friendly person, but I find it threatening to have strangers at my door, and I feel my home should not be someone else's marketing opportunity.
  9. I drink coffee black. No one in my family uses milk/cream/sugar. I put milk in black tea - for some reason, tea makes my stomach upset without the milk. I add a bit of sugar too. I prefer whole or 2% milk. Cream is too rich, skim milk is too thin.
  10. Some of these have bad language ... But I loved them. http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_eye/2015/05/06/empathy_cards_by_emily_mcdowell_are_greeting_cards_designed_for_cancer_patients.html
  11. I am not sure the elements of embezzlement are there. If it was a crime, I don't believe embezzlement would be the proper charge, but I don't have all the facts (and unless there are some private PM providing additional info, none of us do). Embezzlement is a specific crime with specific statutory requirements of proof. Op could report a crime, but I am pretty skeptical she will achieve much. she could 'lawyer up' but if sounds like her financial damages are $400, which is not worth the legal fees she would incurr, unless she is well off enough to do it on principal, understanding that
  12. My guess is that she is going to file banktupcy. I am not sure the police can really help you with this. My advice is to find a new studio right way before everyone else starts looking and the spaces are full. The girls must be very disappointed, and that is sad. But there may not be a good legal balm apart from trying to recoup some of the money.
  13. I would never say anything. Smart people assume everyone has dog poop on their hands. Shake, make nice, wash hands before dinner. Shaker beware, but not the hostesses job to supervise this.
  14. I understand why you feel you can't move, and if you (and your daughters) are safe, staying might be best. I think you should do what you can, even if it is small things, to get yourself into a better position for the future. Your financial problems may feel overwhelming, but if you can take small steps to improve them, then at worst, they will be a little better a year from now. Look at it this way. Right now, you have a free place to live for yourself and your two daughters. With a free place to live, you can think about how to save a little money. It seems to me that the cars are yo
  15. Younger until I was mid thirties. Now they think I am older (evidenced by things like being offered a senior discount several times lately, in my 40s!). I think it is because of the grey hair, and also being on the thin side. I don't care really. I enjoy the many benefits of looking older.
  16. It's intereting that you say that. Laws on privileged communications with clergymen vary by state, but I suggest you have someone look very closely into the laws where you live. The presence of the clergyman's wife (or other third pary) has been held to destroy the legal priviledge, and forced clergymen to testify as to what his parishioner disclosed. A church's leadership and lay prayer ministry need to understand how risky it is to allow a trusted lay person to be there to 'support' someone who is seeking confession/counseling from a pastor or to allow a clergy spouse or other 'helper'
  17. I love being married to my particular husband. I haven't met anyone else I would really like to spend time with as much as I do with him.
  18. Yeah, I was only speaking for my current and future self. When I was young and had young children, I think it would likely have been my desire, with the very right man.
  19. I am not in that situation and never have been, so I really can't say. But I tend to think not. I have enough experience seeing how older women become caregivers to their husband. I really would not want that. My DH and I have decades of experience together - pretty much all good. We have grown up together. We made vows in sickness and health, and caring for him would be part of that - I adore him and owe him the very best - for him and our sons. But I don't think I would sign up to marry an old guy and then risk being in that situation. Caregiving can be so draining financially,
  20. I am not in that situation and never have been, so I really can't say. But I tend to think not. I have enough experience seeing how older women become caregivers to their husband. I really would not want that. My DH and I have decades of experience together - pretty much all good. We have grown up together. We made vows in sickness and health, and caring for him would be part of that - I adore him and owe him the very best - for him and our sons. But I don't think I would sign up to marry an old guy and then risk being in that situation. Caregiving can be so draining financially,
  21. I do and I did when my children were small. There is always a risk, and if a park were in a high crime area, I probably wouldn't. But in general, if I would feel safe in a park with a few people around, I don't feel less safe alone. There are parks I probably wouldn't go to at all, but in general I am comfortable alone. I used to takes kids camping alone and sometimes we were isolated. I didn't feel too worried. I carried a whistle, and a couple of times I took a blow horn. I know several women who have been assaulted in parking a lots (the mall, a ymca, and pharmacy.). No where is
  22. Would you consider writing a letter to the parents, signed by you or multiple neighbors, telling them about what has been observed, informing them that you are documenting all events, and letting them know that when an inevitable accident occurs and they are sued (which they likely will be), you will have a record that they were aware of his negligent driving? Keep it factual and polite. Send it certified mail. This won't slow the kid down, but will hopefully make the parents think about the liability they might face, so that they will actually care about risk to their own pocketbook eve
  23. How frustrating! Is it a pain to go to town for mail? I might just get a PO box (and do a change of address to that). Probably cheaper than new tires.
  24. Well, in that case there is lots of room for 'church discipline' I suppose. I think that at my church, there would probably be an announcement that the pastor will be leaving and we are sad to see him go. True, but not the whole truth. The whole truth is not the entire congregation's business. Speculators will speculate either way. I don't think that airing private sin is justified by the desire to prevent speculation. He can publically confess if he feels called, but that is his job.
×
×
  • Create New...