Yolanda in Mass
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Posts posted by Yolanda in Mass
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Unfortunately, we discovered that our 20yos was adhd days before he left for a very large school where he was living off campus. It was a disaster due to all these stresses, his adhd and major meds adjustment problem. He was able to get a medical withdrawal and is home for at least a semester, possibly two. This is a young man who was in their honors college and came in with a nearly perfect GPA from cc, talk about being able to compensate.
One of the many "to do's" on our list for ds is a neuropsych eval which I'll be scheduling this morning. I was told that a comprehensive eval can take 6-12 hours. A good friend confirmed this as her aspie and other LD's son had a neuropsych eval which took around 9 hours.
FYI- you probably already know that adhd nearly always is accompanied by other disorders including depression and anxiety. My son's therapist said that depression accompanies add/adhd 100% of the time. Treating the adhd well, which includes therapy along with meds, will address these other issues as well. A lifetime of trying to cope with the stuff we non-ADDers do with our eyes closed takes a mighty toll.
I hope your eval yields much useful information!
Yolanda
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I did one for ds1 as part of his app, and used the sample in the college application book I got from the library. I tried finding a template on-line and found it was just a lot easier to use the sample in the book. Haven't a clue where his resume is, so can't help you there. Sorry! Maybe someone else on this board can help.
Yolanda
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This is an area where it's really up to the family and the standards they have set for themselves. I won't read any books with sex scenes or filthy language because that type of content truly offends me and troubles me, I always feel like a voyeur, so I'm not going to recommend this type of material for my boys, 20 and 17. They're certainly at an age where they can choose otherwise, but it is a slippery slope. How much filth is too much? Same goes for movies. I prefer not to watch R rated movies for the same reason. Exceptions are movies rate R for thematic material. The movie "The Pianist" comes to mind. Again, personal choices, personal standards.
Yolanda
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I am positive he is ADHD. I believe there are some other learning issues going on.
I hopped onto this board from the College Board, and I couldn't help but comment on this disorder. My 20yos was recently diagnosed with ADHD and in the process of doing lots of research I learned that over 80% of people with Tourette's have ADHD. In fact, over 3/4 of ADHD people have other "issues" - anxiety, depression, OCD, bipolar, etc., etc. Just thought I'd pass on this interesting piece of information.
Yolanda
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There are several schools in VA that offer the major but I am interested in top schools for this major. UMass looks excellent for this. That is a wonderful website for my son to review to make sure that this is what he wants to pursue.
I would expect it to be excellent. This area is one of the top 2 media markets for pro sports. The Boston Globe has one of the best, if not the best, sports section in the country, and the local AM sports station is the #1 sports station in the country. Heck, we now have an all-sports FM station. People around here LOVE, LOVE, LOVE their pro sports. Not sure why. On the flip side, no one cares a dead rat's patooty about collegiate sports. That would be heresy in other parts of the country, I know.
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I see that you're in VA, but I know that UMass Amherst has a sports mgt program through their school of management which is pretty competitive. They have some of the nicest facilities on the entire campus. Here's the link:
http://www.isenberg.umass.edu/sportmgt/
My younger son would be a natural for this type of major, but loathes UMass where his older brother currently attends. He says he breaks out in hives simply driving through the rather large campus (20,000+ students).
Yolanda
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October SAT scores available on-line.
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It never occurred to me to rely on the college administration for the problem. I handled it just fine on my own and I guess that's the lens I view this with and the lens I'll send my children off with. I mean what would they do if they turned 18, got a job in another city, and were on their own? They'd figure it out. On a college campus though I don't think it is out of bounds to call the person who sent you off in an ambulance with a request to get you back if you cannot find your own ride...that would be part of figuring it out.
Some kids, like you, can handle incidents like this, some can't. While I do not want to be a helicopter parent, I also don't subscribe to the "sink or swim" philosophy either. If a young person wants to move out on their own at 18, get a job in a different city, maybe they can handle it. My son has not made those choices because he KNOWS he can't, and that he has a lot of growing up to do. My parents subscribed to the "sink or swim" philosophy thinking they were helping me to grow up. Yeah, I figured it out, but I sure resented the fact they weren't there to help. I resented the fact that I was expected to handle more than I could. That's what parents are for. And it's only by the grace of God that I didn't get into really serious trouble. I know way too many adults whose parents thought letting them figure it out on their own was good for them. It wasn't. Just a different lens to view the world through.
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Hmmm.......
I'm looking at the college experience with a LOT more trepidation now. Dd2 has type 1 diabetes -- I guess the visit to the medical center and the conversations there may be the most important part of every campus visit for us!
It's a pity there is no ranking for "love and support provided by medical center"!
The only thing I can think to do is to find out what hospital the school uses and find out from them the reputation. I would also ask how they handle emergencies. Does anyone go with student? How do they get back? How parents notified? When are they notified?
Ds2 has asthma and we're doing a college visit this week. One of my first stops is the medical center. Of course, the school we're visiting is a small Christian school (<3,000) vs the huge secular public school (27,000) where ds1 attends. As ds1 said, on the one hand had he gone to choice #2, he would have been 11 hours away when all this happened rather than less than 2 hours away. On the other hand, choice #2 is a small Christian school and has a much more caring environment so would have been looked after by the school. Right?
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I thought I was the only one! IRL mom's never talk about "reality" with me. I struggle with contolling and manipulating vs. shepperding and guiding because I am so afraid, and I pray-always and constantly. I daily work on letting go and trusting God. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone.
Angela
Yes! Yes! Yes! Did I say Yes?:iagree:
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TWO different ER docs (he went in twice the same day) completely dismissed his symptoms and told he had pnemonia and to go home and go to bed. The testing the first time he was in there actually showed that he had a probable pulmonary embolism. (dr must not have looked at the results). A dr friend told us to go back to the hospital immediately and not leave until they did more testing b/c he believed ds had a PE (via a conversation standing in our neighborhood swimming pool 6 hrs away from ds!!)
The 2nd ER doc ridiculed ds and told him he was being a baby and that he needed to suck up the pain and go home (after they left him in the waiting room for over 2 hrs)
Sad state of our culture that our young people are treated so badly. My son has experienced what your ds has, being ridiculed or dismissed by ER docs or even regular docs. One ER doc told him he was "wound too tight and to take Tai Chi". Do you think for even one nanosecond one of us would be spoken to like that? Thankfully, it certainly was not a life-threatening condition like yours.
Yolanda
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My son got a call last night, Sunday, at 10pm to let him know that the x-ray of his back, taken 4 days earlier showed an L1-L2 compression (??) something or other. They want him to come into health services tomorrow for a follow-up. Needless to say, our confidence in either the hospital or health services is nonexistent so we decided to take him to the ER here at home, have someone we trust look at the x-rays, and see what's going on. He's there now with his dad.
I have enough experience to know that any abnormal test result should be communicated asap or at least within 24 hrs, not 4 days later! In fact, nobody called him from either the hospital or univ health services to follow up. Our family has always had follow-up calls from both ER and dr's office following an ER visit.
Interestingly enough, the first review of the hospital out at his school reads: "If you're a college student, don't bother going here 'cause they've already diagnosed you before you even show up."
Didn't know you had to check up on health services and local hospitals when visiting colleges.
Yolanda
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For me the big factor is that they sent your son, who I assume is 18 and thus a legal adult, to the emergency room in an ambulance AGAINST HIS WILL. Adults have the right to refuse medical treatment and transport. I'd say you need to sit down with him and have a solid conversation about his rights and responsibilities regarding his health and dealing with doctors.
Good point. I'll get more details from him this weekend, but when I spoke with him that night he was pretty angry that they forced him to go.
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FWIW - I did call the director yesterday and she was appalled (?) to hear that he walked 4 miles before being picked up by a friend, but seems to be concentrating on why we weren't contacted initially. I made it clear to her that this lack of contact is not nearly as important as dumping my son in the middle of nowhere, so to speak, with no way of getting back. She's "investigating".
I'd be curious to find out if the other very pricey schools in the area (there are 4 private colleges close by with price tags in the mid-upper $40s) dump their kids like my son's school does. According to the ER sec'y., my son's school is famous for it!
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Every night I take my cell phone to bed with me and wonder if it is going to wake me up with my heart in my mouth.
-Nan
Oh my! I thought I was the only one who does the cell phone check before climbing into bed. Or...how about the texts that are sent when you're asleep? Do they really think we're sitting there, staring at the phone, and waiting for a text? How about just coming home on time?! :glare:
Yolanda
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My dd had a car...but she passed out in the dorm. The RA called an ambulance which took her to the hospital ....which was ACROSS THE STREET! $275 later for the ride across the street, they examined and released her.
Faithe
My son most definitely did not want to go in the ambulance or to the hospital but was not given a choice. (?!) In fact, and I'll get all the details this weekend when he's home, he wasn't sure why he was sent initially. Hadn't even thought about the ambulance bill!! Among all the other matters....I'm sick to death of the way people in authority treat young people. I seriously doubt they would DARE to treat one of us this way.
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WIth regards to what some of the others said, was your son at a large college, a state college, or a smaller LAC? It would be interesting to see what all of our experiences were.
I developed a permanent problem because of inadequate treatment of my ear infection. I also had a bad result from a very badly sprained ankle. I only found out how badly I was injured when I went home for Christmas three weeks later. I think it isn't a coincidence that all four or my leg fractures subsequently involved that same leg where my ankle (3 times) and my foot (1) were twisting unnaturaly. Since my dd is applying to this same school, I plan on having her go to a private physician for her health care needs if she does attend and skip student health.
My son is at UMass Amherst, the flagship campus of our state uni; it's a huge campus. Thankfully, he's coming home for the weekend so we can have him checked out here. Your permanent problems from a badly treated ankle injury makes this imperative now.
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Another sister here! I've told friends with younger kids that it only gets harder. Some encourager I am, huh? Seriously, our kids will make bad choices and you CAN NOT blame yourself for every bad choice they make. I say this knowing full well you will, 'cause I do.
"My faith is sufficient for you, for my power is made great in your weakness." 2 Cor 12:9
You're not alone!
Yolanda
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We are probably going to give my dd a car for college since she has lots of medical problems and we don't want any problems with her getting to the pharmacy or to her specialists.
My son has a car since he lives off campus. The problem is that health svcs sent him to the hospital via ambulance with no way of getting back. He has no health problems, usually. But after this incident, we're going to find a local doctor that he can see. This way he can, hopefully, avoid future Nurse Ratchets!
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For future reference, tell him to ask his resident asst. or resident director if there is a student cab service. We had one, and it was the only way we could get back to campus from the hospital.
He lives off campus.
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I pass this on hoping/praying that others can avoid this. When looking at colleges, ask them:
If you send a kid to the ER in an ambulance, do you notify their parents? What arrangements do you make for them to be transported back? Do you send anyone with them? Do you really care?
No, this is not a joke. My son was sent to the ER in an ambulance directly from the school's health services. He had injured his back the night before while working out and was there to have it checked out. Not sure of all details yet, but in the process the nurse discovered that he was having some trouble passing urine. Against his wishes, although I understand her concern at that point, she told him that he had to be taken to the ER stat to make sure there wasn't anything pressing on his spine.
My son was not able to notify me as there was no cell service and he didn't know what hospital he was in. All we got from him was that he was in a hospital, wasn't really sure why and didn't know where. We called health services and, naturally, told us diddly squat although we were able to find out which hospital they usually send kids to and found him that way.
When he was able to reach me, it was to tell me that he was fine as far as his spine and passing urine. They gave him some ibuprofen and sent him on his way. Small problem....ER is approx 10 miles from campus and he had no way to get back. ER said the school does it all the time, brings kids in via ambulance and then dumps them there with no way back. Nice, huh?
He was able to reach someone (thank God for Campus Crusade for Christ staff), but not before he had walked 4 miles. It was raining last night. Oh, the ER also said he might have a torn muscle. Verdict still out on that.
I'm still waiting to hear back from the director of health services about this. A friend said schools like that certainly practice the ultimate in survival of the fittest.
Yolanda
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It's not much fun to have whooping cough as an adult or teen either -- maybe not quite as dangerous, but still not a great way to spend several weeks.
:iagree:Same here! Waking up every night, 2-3 times a night, to hold a bucket under your child while they throw up in the midst of the paroxysms of coughing stinks.
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Do any of you with ADD/ADHD kids have any experience with this? My ds will be seeing a new psychologist, who was highly recommended by the Hallowell Ctr, and she strongly urged this be done. She said it aids in pinpointing the subtype of ADHD he has which helps fine tune treatment. She said it's also needed should he decide to pursue accommodations at the university. Right now he says he doesn't need any.
Yolanda
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I think there will be something to disagree with with anyone..... in fact, you don't know the views of most text authors.
Ain't that the truth!
2011 acceptances thread
in The College Board
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Messiah College - one and only choice, with nice scholarship, too. We're done now and this is my youngest. Good luck to all!