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BlsdMama

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Everything posted by BlsdMama

  1. We had toddlers for over twenty years... Today this little guy left to report to Ft. Knox on Tuesday. A little sad and proud of the man he's become. DD #1 is expecting a new baby in September DS #2 is now Army. DD #3 just had a little one. DD#4 is going to Korea around December/January. DS #5 has his grown up job and moves into his apartment tomorrow. DD#6 just did amazing on the ACT and we did two college visits this month. It's crazy to me. I joined these boards October 2001. I had a 5yo, a 2yo, and I was expecting DD#3.
  2. I know I missed the reason you’re selling. A thought might be to revamp your current house?
  3. We’ve had a black and white laser printer for a while but splurged on a color one several months ago. I love it and I love that it connects wirelessly to everyone’s laptop.
  4. DD took the ACT cold and we wanted scores to make a summer cram plan. She got a composite 33 (breakdown scores of 32-35.) She actually likes testing but I'm curious - would you test again? Her "resume" is well rounded - 4. GPA at home and 3.81 college GPA. She's assisted teaching Spanish 1/2 her sophomore year and 3/4 last year, student council, engineering internship, competitive mock trial, and drama. It qualifies her for the state flagship highest automatic scholarship. All of our kids have gone to state schools and while we'd love a private Christian school, my medical expenses have been prohibitive. If she retook it for a 34/35, is it a gamechanger or at 33 it becomes a moot effort? I've coached two of mine to 35/36 in English and Reading, however, we'd need a pro to do math.
  5. Another thought -he could take the math classes at a local community college and transfer it to his university. If he wants the logistics degree, it would be great to find a way. My DH recently picked up a masters in aerospace logistics and it is a hot degree to have in the industry.
  6. Absolutely my top choice!
  7. Radically promising - not just slowed progression, but actually improved. The same thing has happened with some patients and Brainstorm’s Nurown. They’ve had three trials but the FDA shot it down. They’re reconsidering and we should hear later September. It’s extra encouraging for me because they use your own stem cells. A fellow I know online has improved significantly. They’re making great strides in research once they began to confirm misfolded proteins. @bookbard - thank you so much for posting here. ♥️
  8. Deleting, please don't quote. I'm so done. We've graduated five so far. Four are kids who found their niche in this life. Oldest graduated with her BS in Psych. She got married and has four kiddos. They are stable and healthy. DS (#2) just graduated college and was commissioned in the Army. He's very stable and even worked at the same place all through high school and college. DD (#3) did drop out of nursing school. She began CNA work and school early Covid. Dropped out with good grades. She decided to get her realtor's license a few months ago (and has sold four houses now) and is in a happy spot. She married a great guy two years ago and they have a two month old. DD (#4) just finished her second year of college. Same roommate for two years, very academically successful. I worry because she's an extreme introvert, but we are loving having her home for the summer. She's asked for counseling as she's always had some anxiety, but she feels it increasing and she feels akward making friends. She's met with a counselor who has thus far told her she doesn't look like someone with anxiety. Apparently anxious people generally have short dark hair (wtheck?) and she doesn't sound like someone with anxiety because she's planning a semester abroad. We're looking for a new counselor.... But DD is delightful. She's just witty and quiet and pleasant. #5 - diagnosed severe working memory deficit and ADHD around 9/10, normal IQ, diagnosed oppositional defiant disorder around age 11/12. He's properly medicated. He successfully worked with friends of ours for a year doing demo and remodeling. He is an incredible worker - unlike anyone I've ever known. He LOVES to work. Completed a welding program. Hired as a welder. Feedback: What he gets done (quantity) awesome. How he does it? Not awesome. He was hired as an aluminum welder. He lost this position because he welds too hot despite being corrected. He tells us he does weld 70 degrees hotter than recommended because it's faster and "good enough." Now apply this mindset to his eNTIRE life. He got moved to a different type of metal because it's less finicky and doesn't have to be as asthetically pleasing, aka, careful. Had a car -engine blew. Maybe it was "time" - it was high miles, but he is a hard on cars. Loves the feel of acceleration. Got another - totaled in an accident and deemed the other guy's fault but I will tell you speed was a contributing factor imo and while the other guy was found liable, just know it was sketch. A cop was called and the other guy said, "It was my fault. I thought I had time, but it was a bad call," - I'm paraphrasing. But DS drove that way later and said to us, "Omigosh, it's 35 there! I didn't know that!" - I'll translate that too: I wasn't doing 35. Uses insurance money to buy his truck. Used it to go mudding. We freaked out. Extreme speeding (insert extreme punishment) more than once. Finally after a few months of abuse, transmission goes. He can't afford to fix so we agree to help him buy a dependable 4 door Camry. We refused to help with anything remotely sporty. Repeat speeding episode. Car overheats. Kid drives it hot because he's sure he can make it home. Blows head gasket. So our arrangement is he can drive his dad's truck until he saves for repairs, but he must save half his paycheck ($1100/week) and pay insurance ($150) his phone ($30) and Life 360 subscription ($15) so we get detailed driving report. 3 weeks - Kid has not lived up to his end of bargain on saving. In other words, we wanted him to have to give up some lifestyle wants and feel pinched. Assume normal coaching about nutrition, budgets, above normal accountability. In the meantime, kid blows up a one year relationship by meeting a girl online, getting scammed, and blackmailed, thus forced to tell gf and parents. Blames girlfriend, btw. Nothing. Is. E>VE>R his fault. Or if it is, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I just felt... because (insert something other did.) Sometimes the sorry phase is elongated for an hour. Sometimes a day. But never longer than a day or two before it becomes someone else's fault. Fast forward to this weekend. We find out (in no particular order) He drove my van 98 in a 55. He "raced" his supervisor after work but "didn't go over 100 because he knew dad's truck can't take it." Spent approximately $800 since Thursday on food, Monster, a dating app where he met a wonderful (sarcasm) young lady who can't meet him because she's under a modeling contract she must fulfill or buy out. My son sent her "manager" $400 to buy out her contract. All of this is, of course, just not his fault because: A. His ex has a new boyfriend and they were at the same grad party this weekend and he's hurting. B. We're very critical of his choices and can't be pleased so he's just given up trying C He has self-diagnosed depression and he knows from doing it that speeding makes him feel so much better. D. We are too hard on him E. Ultimately it is really the gf's fault because now he's not motivated to believe good things about the future. (Btw, I know the ex-gf and family quite well. I love her and wish her the best. I don't feel it was a healthy relationship for her.) Personal responsibility and being coachable are two things we push hard around here. In his head, he creates backstory. For example, he told me last night, "For months I worked so hard to save, with the idea that I could buy a house and plan my future. And now I am giving that up." Now, it's true that for the past four WEEKS I've "made" him save by telling him access to using our vehicles was contingent on him saving to repair the Camry. And he did talk about it being "neat" to buy vs, rent. He rewrites reality. Often. And the rewritten version always has him as the good guy. So. Now we are left with what to do. He's 18, but maturity? My 13 year old is "older" than him. We are at a loss. Obviously, he has zero access to our vehicles. So now we must drive him 25 minutes to work and back. He works 3rd shift. We're bouncing a few ideas around. 1. No access to vehicles and we drive him when it works for us. 2. He goes to school. -The reasoning here? He's lonely. He has a couple great guy friends. He has switched from our church to another because he likes their youth pastor. He also does Friday night mens' group. We're okay with both of those and I'm willing to drive. He needs positive people. But I also know he does best in these vo-tech classes. He hates the idea of school but admit he loved his time there - loves the hands on and the instructors like his engagement and work ethic. It also addresses his fear of not knowing people his own age because he only has male activities and groups. 3, Phone use only in public areas of the home.. 4. No unapproved apps 5. Transparent banking / no cash app 6. Must save 70% of each check 7. Deadline for vehicle repairs 8. Job switch at some point, influence there not ideal and he's drawn to trouble. 9. Counseling of some sort but thus far impossible because he needs a new PCP. Waiting list until August!!!!!!!!!! (DD could get in ASAP because she's a student and keeps her pediatrician. Enrolling in college TODAY for the fall would also put him in this category and give him counseling access.) Rent is on the table? Maybe just so he has rent and deposit if we feel we can't allow him to live here.
  9. Popping back onto this daily thread to make our summer more intentional! We had a long break through end of April/first three weeks of May when DD, her hubby, and their four kids were with us while they sold their house and closed on their new house! ❤️ Outdoors: Supervise the re-burying of the dog fence. (Our "grand-dog" is staying for a bit and he likes the neighbors *too* much! Errands: Pick up a clothing order from a local shop Pick up veg plants from a friend and deliver them to a lady for an AHG donation Take a kid-sized table/bench DH made to the grandbabies Get notebooks Indoors: Sort through three bags of pack-away/donate clothes Pack away any school text/books not being used this summer
  10. I have three daughters who adore Kdrama and Kpop. Our current 19yo hooked the 27yo and the 13yo. It’s fun that the three of them bond over this. ♥️ The 19yo is beyond enthralled though. She’s planning to study abroad in South Korea next school year.
  11. Our door color is currently Naval. It's my favorite navy blue and looks great with a wreath with cream and teal flowers and tiny pops of red. However, I might be tempted to do a black blue like Cheating Heart or a true black like Tricorn. If you decide to do the deck, you could go grays or even Urbane Bronze.
  12. I snapped last night. My in laws live here half the year and in Florida half the year. My father in law is a caring person who spent most of his free time engaged in volunteerism. My mother in law is one of the most self-centered people I have ever met. She is not rude to me. She loves her grandkids. She loves her kids. She just must relate every single conversation to herself. For twenty seven years I’ve thought she needs someone to listen or she’s trying to figure out how to be healthy or maybe she was raised that way… But how can someone live seventy years on this earth and not understand the fundamentals of give and take in relationships or basic common court in dialogue? I’m so completely done. We celebrated Easter about a month ago when they got back. I was sick and missed. It’s only happened one other time, when our daughter was hospitalized about five years ago. Missed? By my brother and sister in law. Asked after? Nope. Later? Nope. So, admittedly, I have hurt feelings, because, sincerely, it’s like nothing is wrong. Now, a lot of people are uncomfortable with my disease and progression and I try very hard to minimize their discomfort and talk very little about progression, etc. But I am utterly OVER discussing her, her, her, her…. So last night was the girls’ Choir concert. Both grandma came. I sat his mama by our chatty 10yo and DH. Kids between us and me on the opposite end with my mom. Afterwards we walked her to her car. I listened about her shopping (favorite subject) then moved to her second favorite (current symptoms, stupid doctors, expensive medical costs, her out of control diabetes.) Currently she feels phlegm in her throat. It’s been almost a year. She’s seen a few doctors, been scooped, etc. Ya’all. I cannot even. I can’t. DH took a withdrawal from his retirement for our six figure medical related costs. We’re cash flowing $500-$600/month for my supplements. I’ve had this talk with her before (in the past) about how grateful she should be -Medicare, well off, they own two houses, one of them built last year. Then as she moves on to the phlegm… It’s about the eighth time we’ve discussed this medical anomaly. Last night I was touchy. This month I’ve gotten my auction and my cough assist. I got my vent on Wednesday. I am NOT willing to listen anymore because it is endless. I’ve tried before thinking I’d she just gets it all out then eventually will move on. Nope. She never ties off talking about how to spend money and her endless medical concerns. So I said what I was thinking, “You just need my new equipment and you’re set. Ask the doctor for a cough assist, suction, and a ventilator.” And I rolled away. i thought I’d be sorry. I’m not. It is no kindness to listen to her because it’s not fruitful. I am so so done. Thank goodness I can still drive my own wheelchair. I have no desire to be rude - it would not change her. I have no desire to cut off her access to her grandkids. They bring her joy. But normally we would invite them over for dinner several times in the summer and fall. I have no desire to “punish” my father in law but I don’t know how to navigate this. Do I plainly say, “I don’t want to talk about medical things.” Then say, “Please stop,” until she does? Because I can’t change her and her habits and I don’t want to be hateful but I’m also no longer willing to participate in or tolerate this.
  13. Who knew? Bought a new oven last week, installed Wednesday. Can I just say, whoa. Bacon in seven minutes not preheated was impressive. Less impressive when we proceeded to burn everything for two days. 😏 Turns Out you can recalibrate your oven +/- 30 degrees! 🤔
  14. LOL, the birdbath was my great grandma's and came to me from my aunt. It's concrete and I dug deep and buried three concrete blocks to make it stay level waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when I could do such things. It's a pretty big birdbath, lol. Saga was 68 pounds at the vet and she's filled out nicely since we got her. ❤️ I have figured out my dog! She thinks she's a cat. And I've figured out Catie's cat, Socksy/Sassy - she thinks she's a dog. Turns out dog personalities in small furry bodies is delightful and cat personalities in big, shaggy, semi-graceful bodies is amusing. But the two together bring me more joy than I could believe. I never truly understood animal people. I liked our pets well enough. I respected them. I felt a responsibility towards them. But love was maybe a stretch based on how much sheer work they were. These two are nearly effortless and everyone loves them.
  15. Tell me your dog is a husky without telling me your dog is a husky:
  16. There are just so many factors. The thing to remember is that everyone has the same 24 hours so they do things you do not and vice versa. I have not watched the movie. However, also realize they're aware they're making a movie. While we were in Oregon, a little girl sent us a Flat Stanley. We planned fun photo ops for Stanley at the capitol, parks, waterfalls, murals. I'm sure it appeared like everyone was happy and we're fun all the time. Truth is that we DO do fun adventure stuff sometimes. We also do boring trudging through unfun curriculum. We also have days where people are grumpy or discontent because we're human. I don't fault the families or the editors - the job is really to show the best parts of homeschooling. I'm back to loving homeschooling again after being thoroughly burnt out on a kiddo who hated all things school and I'm so glad we've stuck with it, but it's definitely not all adventure and happiness.
  17. Um... I've recently located a house I love in town and had my daughter draw up comp. market analysis. I feel this falls under stress shopping.
  18. I am sosorry. The most thoughtful gift I was given when we lost our daughter was a Christmas ornament. Through the years, placing her ornament has been a special tradition and given us the opportunity to talk about her to our younger children.
  19. It comes down to this ^. For me, weighing my reason to homeschool vs my reasons to not - not all reasons are weighted the same. It is *most* important to me to homeschool through high school, more so than in younger grades. This is the truth. More and more, schools need help. There are book fees, bussing fees, extra curriculars, etc. At our house, teens would need more out and about clothing, food costs, etc.
  20. I actually vomited from withdrawal once. It gets better but I’ve quit and restarted six times. 🤦🏼‍♀️
  21. I left some parts out, but welcome to my whole life. I’ve had to let go of the impotent rage because it results in nothing except bitterness. Life lesson - don’t waste energy and emotion on the things out of your control or it can consume you. 😞
  22. No, not anymore. We’ve had it twice - personally I’ve had it twice confirmed. The University hospital has just stopped mandating it. I was there today and masks were fairly unusual but not rare.
  23. Yes - this exactly. We could swing two mortgages in our budget, but I don’t love when things are tight. We are taking a terminal illness withdrawal from one of my life insurance policies this summer and that would make me more comfortable with building. The questions are what does a construction loan look like and timeframe for a custom build? How did you decide between builders? We have friends who are contractors and they have built a few homes and I’m wondering if this would be wise… they did a beautiful job on our bathroom.
  24. Tell me about the process if you did NOT sell your house first. We know our house will sell. We bought a HTF acreage in a small town with excellent schools. The commute is twenty minutes and the city is growing towards us cutting that time down. When we bought it, it was 20 years old - time for it to need EVERYTHING. We've replaced every appliance, AC, furnace, garage doors, well pump, you name it. Acreages that have come up sell in days. We are seeing no downturn in the market rn. (My dd is a realtor.) But, obviously my house is accessible. We cannot rent and any home we buy would need immediate renovation. So building might make sense?
  25. One of our boys had this and it affected the gap between his two top baby teeth. He could nurse well. We were told he’d need to have it clipped eventually if it didn’t naturally recede. However, a tumble off a cabin deck while camping served the same purpose! 😉 He was about two then.
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