Because I can be crabby, nit-picky, and look at the short view of things rather than the bigger picture. Because I can dwell on little things. Because I forget I need to build up instead of tear down. Because I like to blame her instead of me. Because it is easier to think on what is wrong with her than it is to fix things within myself. Because it's easier to bash her than it is to pray for her. Pretty much the same problem I have with anyone I choose to tear down instead of build up - whether IRL or just in my head.

Technically due? July 17th. I spent six days in the hospital ('til week 35) then a week on bedrest. We're 36 weeks today! Phew. Finally. We had a cerclage in place, it's been removed. So now we wait. This is longer than I've lasted the last four pregnancies since stitch removal. I know I should just be grateful. I know this. But really? I'm just stressed. We don't have much warning before babies are born (doctor missed two of the last three and barely made the other one... The last one was induced because I go so fast and we only had two contractions I felt - the warning contraction followed by the baby about 2-3 minutes later) and the local hospital has a strict no v-bac policy so I'd really like to make it to a further away hospital. I'm uptight, crabby, not sleeping.... Did I mention crabby? I think my entire family is really sick of Mom being stressed when she is usually at least FAIRLY sane and not crazy emotional. :glare: I feel like a nutjob and my poor husband is convinced I've come down with bipolar disorder.

Medical Stuff. Kid stuff. House stuff. Hubby stuff. Self stuff. Long day. :glare: Not very happy with me right now. :( Can't sleep, it's three in the morning, just ate two ice cream sandwiches and am feeling pretty frustrated. I know these days are far and few but man I hate when they hit. Sigh. Ready for this baby to be here, the hormones to be gone, the discomfort of trying to sleep on a bowling ball to be gone, and for the nice, emotionally stable me to come back.

Norah Eva Ava Arabelle (Ara) Lucy Claire Ella And then there are our daughters - see signature. We also had a Hannah. I think Hannah & Abigail go well together as sisters. :) (We have similar tastes, btw.) Our little one is expected any day. Names have been the worst subject in this house for a month. :(

Ask yourself which is more natural - to put down an infant or to hold it. Human babies are incredibly vulnerable for a very long time. It never ceases to amaze me that if we were talking about an animal who didn't respond to a baby's cries, feed on demand, etc., we'd question their parenting abilities. :D I've had two high need / high touch infants. They truly NEEDED a lot of skin to skin contact. I feel, to this day, the reason they have grown into such content, easy children is because we fulfilled those infant needs. One is now 9.5 and the other just turned 3.

:D :iagree: And sometimes he feels that way about me. I don't really qualify as our 15th anniversary isn't until Wednesday, but we're definitely more suited for one another NOW than we have been in the last 15 years. We've grown together - like two trees planted too close together - they intertwine and grow and there comes a point where you can tell there were two trees but now it just looks like one. We're in this together and for the long haul. Obviously, expecting our tenth baby this month along with our 15 years of marriage deepens that commitment an awful lot. We've been through a lot of happiness, some hard financial lessons, the death of one child, the celebration of 9, almost 10 births, his time in the Army, our time of being young and in college. Now is a very GOOD place to be. :) We still argue, and kiss, and wink at one another. We still can't wait for the kids to go to bed so we can have alone time. I wouldn't trade him in for anyone else that's for sure. Mostly due to the kind of man he is, I just plain like and respect him. He's a GOOD man. He makes GOOD choices. He ALWAYS puts his kids before himself. He went to the grocery store the other night and got his bedrest bound wife all of her favorite things and made her dinner while she bakes the little one just one more week. Last week I was in the hospital for six days. He held down the fort beautifully. I love him. No doubt.

Well, I didn't say *I* would do it ;) but yep, it's really the other option. It's the reason the good 'ole days weren't so good and it does pretty much ensure you won't get tetanus.

I'd check Ana White's site. http://ana-white.com/

Hm. I don't know but we'd be a poor match. It hasn't been warm enough in Oregon to even consider air conditioning this summer. :glare: :D Wouldn't you know if it was a large family vs. air? Has your useage gone up significantly with the temperature/season change or stayed exactly the same as the winter or only varied a small amount?

As a delayed/selective vaxer, I learned a lot about tetanus the hard way. :glare: First, tetanus is relatively rare. Second, there is more that one kind of tetanus. The kind you are most likely to have gotten from this wound IS technically medically treatable in most cases. Technically it's not usually deadly, though risks run at about what? I think I've read 10% fatal. It isn't a great risk really but the risk from the vaccine IS lower than the disease. The DTP shot was the most risky vaccine out there (it could be argued I suppose) for a long while because of the "P" part of it - the pertussis. They were using whole cell pertussis. It became less of a risky vaccine when they went to DTaP - acellular pertussis. But the "T" part is relatively safe, vaccine speaking. And, when you go in, you'll most likely be getting the Tetanus Immunoglobulin - the "TIG" shot that was mentioned. Tetanus doesn't come from a rusty nail like most people think. Tetanus is essentially a bacteria that can lie dormant for anywhere from fifty to one hundred years. Strange isn't it? So, it's not the rust that is the problem. It's the indication that if it's rusty - it's old and dirty. And since you don't know where your nail was fifty years ago, you have no idea if there is tetanus on it. Tetanus lives in the soil and particularly likes livestock feces, especially horses. It doesn't matter if it bled or not, unfortunately. Because it isn't if the wound GOT air, it's if the wound is OPEN to the air. So, let's say the wound bled profusely and air circulated through it. If the little tetanus bacteria was up and inside, generally puncture wounds tend to heal first on the outside - it's why they are so darn dangerous. Because when that outside part closes up, the inside "tunnel" is still open. It's like a vacuum in there and it's called an "anaerobic environment" simply meaning it's closed to air. This is what the dormant bacteria needs to begin producing toxin. It's the toxin that we react to - pretty much a nerve agent. Now, there IS absolutely another option. Take a razor blade and slice a line into his foot vertically or horizontally up and until you get to the depth the nail went into. Make it large enough that you can get into the wound to clean it thoroughly and keep it open. You'll need to re-open the wound a couple of times each day, cleansing and re-cleansing it. Keeping it open will force the wound to heal from the inside out. This way that wound can NEVER become anaerobic. It guarantees no tetanus can multiply. If that doesn't appeal to you, get the shot. We chose not to vax our younger set for tetanus. A few years ago DD fell onto an old wire canning pan insert. The insert broke and the wire slipped into her thigh and traveled about 2.5". Puncture wound. Perfect environment and, btw, we bought the stupid thing at an old farm auction off of a hayrack. Sigh. Not only was it NOT properly opened and cleaned in the ER, but when we discovered how deep it was (it wasn't apparent that night - only the next AM when there was a bruise and a streak) they denied us treatment based on vaccination status and forced us to travel to the ER in Iowa City. Nice, right? I learned a WHOLE LOT about tetanus that night, let me tell you. So, unless you're willing to cut him and he's willing to let you cut him, I'd get the shot. Because all the other points are really moot.

Her sweet little head on my cervix bought me one ripped cervix, a cerclage removal two weeks early, two steroid shots, and five days in the hospital... BTW, the irony of all of it? She went back up. I'm not remotely kidding, lol. So, here I sit. I'm officially 35 weeks, they released me yesterday, and she is up nice & high in my ribs. The cerclage has been removed and I feel a bit like a ticking time bomb, lol. Oh. And STILL no name. :001_huh: But I feel great. That counts for a lot, right? :tongue_smilie:

Bwa Ha Ha. :D Um, no. Actually we just checked into how much time we have to settle on a name after birth, apparently we have a grace period of another twelve months. This one is coming home without a name, I'm fairly certain. But I also am sure we can get it figured out in less than a year. Well, pretty sure. Oh, no, that I knew. ;) I just think it's fascinating that this hasn't ever happened to me and this time it has. It's so odd to be very differently pregnant today than yesterday. Every bit of her is in a different location I think. The sensations and movements are so much lower, the pressure from walking is entirely different. It's just amazing to me!

I feel the LESSONS learned between 18-25 have a big effect on how we live in our 30's which have a HUGE effect on our lives. How's that for complicated? :glare: My husband, who tends to have his head screwed on right, ;) made a lot of choices in his late twenties (to get his advanced degrees, join the military, pay off student loans through the Army, etc.) that have significantly impacted our lives. That said, it was because of the hard lessons we learned in our early twenties - trying to juggle school, family, & work, me working, being in financial distress, having a HUGE college loan burden, etc. These poor choices in our twenties led to a very different way of thinking and aligning ourselves in our thirties. It would have been better to NOT learn the hard way in our twenties, I'm certain. However, better to learn the hard way than not at all. :D :iagree:

We've been battling preterm labor this last week. I have a cerclage in place and we're trying NOT to remove it. After an episode of contracting and bleeding last week, I was feeling so calm and just wonderful this weekend. :) The steroids went on board last week (two doses) for her lungs and we hit 34 weeks on Saturday so we're feeling good. Obviously not *quite* as good as if we were 36 weeks but this is still a very pleasant place to be at. Contracted a lot last night with a lot of pressure and I'm spotting a little again this morning, but not a huge amount so I can be pretty sure that stitch is still in place. But this whole dropping thing - ALL new to me!

I've never known the baby has dropped. I don't know if I'm just oblivious or if it always happens during labor or what the difference is, but I've never been able to pinpoint even one pregnancy and say, "Wow! The baby has definitely dropped." Last night, later in the evening, I am telling you this baby dropped. It's like waddling with a bowling ball between the knees. The difference between yesterday and today is UNbelievable. I am feeling VERY motivated to get everything done all of a sudden, lol.

Absolutely wouldn't. And I've had two friends who have later had tubal ligation reversals.

Well the question is: Are you saying the word WHILE she's tinkling or can you get her not to tinkle? :D Because you're naming that relaxing of the muscle sensation - the release. But it does no good to tell them to go potty or try to potty unless they are actually doing it because then the association is with nothingness, not the action. :) The warm water triggers the instinctive release, then you can name the action.

34 weeks today. :) It's a good place to be. We have a cerclage in place and I'm beginning to tear just a little through the stitch. Tonight? Contractions and more contractions. I wonder how long my body can "gear up" and practice for birth without going into labor. Days? Weeks? We'd really like to make it to 36 weeks. Steroids are on board.

Could he not apply to be hired by the company? The reason I ask is because, yes, it would get you kicked off the program but if the benefit is $19, you'd make that up in one day of him taking a job that doesn't pay minimum wage. Then the rest of this becomes not relevant?

Nodding head vehemently. :iagree: And it could be argued that they are blessed, happy, and well adjusted (read: content) BECAUSE of these things. :) Frankly, we try to work very hard NOT to give our children too many things to help them to be content. There is a time coming, especially with the economy, that they will grow up. I frankly feel they will never achieve the "standard of living" we have enjoyed as young people. Giving them a lot of things and amusing them to death is truly setting them up for a miserable adulthood. But what do I know? It's just my .02 and you can't buy a thing with that anymore. :P

Bwaaaa Haaa Haaaa... Sorry. Found it amusing. As if the state has any money we the people don't give to it. :D

Okay, we finished this a bit ago and, feeling guilty, had to update the post. I can't put it in the same category as a page turner, BUT it was worthwhile. I find myself thinking back on it and the choices he made. I even found myself recommending it to a friend today - with the caveat that she push through the slow parts, lol.

Read A Thomas Jefferson Education. My daughter is in the ninth grade. She has designed her own curriculum, pushes herself, and is a self learner. Don't let the past depress you... Let it INSPIRE you. Carry on Mr. Bowditch! (Okay, perhaps I did learn a few little somethings from the book.)

I'm aware of this, and not terribly thrilled. :glare:

I think there is a ton that could be done for food system program. But I really wanted to comment on this part. We moved from the Midwest to the PNW eighteen months ago. When we were in Iowa, we thought we had an economic problem there. You heard, sometimes, about people losing a job. You also heard a lot of people get their hours cut - no more overtime, taking Fridays off as unpaid company wide, etc. And we thought, "Wow, how does someone get by making these cuts? Going part time?" Etc. Then we moved here. The economy is ENTIRELY different and we learned very quickly how bad it was. We weren't used to seeing homeless. Yes, occasionally you'd see someone begging. But not every time you traveled twenty miles would you see 2, 4, 10+ homeless. Yes people were losing their houses in the midwest. Here? The amount of empty houses and for sale signs are just plain overwhelming. You don't NOT know someone who hasn't lost their job. In Iowa, you saw "Help Wanted" signs everywhere. They were at gas stations, McDonald's, etc. They may not be the job you WANTED, but frankly? There were jobs to be had if you wanted them. And if you chose to support your family, you could get two. Here? I NEVER see those ads. Truly, within a month of coming here, I did NOT want to answer the question, "So what brought you all out here?" Because the truth is we came out here for an increased income. DH had the opportunity to transfer with his company, take a much higher cost of living adjustment, and keep the raises that came with the job when we move back to the Midwest. How do you say that to folks around here? We just say company transfer. It's not that we lacked compassion. It's that our LIFE EXPERIENCE had shown us there were jobs to be had for those who wanted to work. My mom and sister were here a few months ago and we went into Portland. They were horrified at the amount of homeless, begging, etc. And they too wondered why these people don't just "get a job." And I explained that was an over-simplification. I asked them to watch closely the rest of the week and let me know if they saw ANY (even one) Help Wanted ad in any window - fast food, gas, etc. In the end they never saw one sign. It didn't really change their mindset, they stuck to their guns. But I do wonder, pack up and move? How? We are a one income family. We live closer to paycheck to paycheck than I sure would like. So you stick around your house, your life, assuming you'll pick up something new in a month... Or two. What do you do when the money runs out? You don't have it for gas. And when someone reports you for living in a vehicle with children? Do you risk your kids? Because you sure couldn't afford a new rental deposit, etc. I just can't imagine what we would do / how we would feel if DH came home tomorrow and we were out of income. Okay, *I* can, but we have a LOT of family that would open their homes until he found something and my or his parents would pay our way back to the Midwest. But we're not average. I HATE that people need assistance. Would that NO ONE ever needed it. But I don't know anyone that could go 12 months or a lot more without income and still feed their families and pay their bills. Changes? Yes. There is a ton that should be non-food items. But there are other things that SHOULD be covered - like soap, shampoo, etc. What about SEEDS for growing food? Wouldn't it be awesome if we had stores just for those receiving assistance? You could get a monthly allocation and you could buy things like soap, laundry soap, seeds, cloth diapers, USEFUL things. And then they just wouldn't carry other things like junk food. No matter how you slice it, junk food is junk food and while you may or may not choose to eat it, no one says the government has to subsidize foods of no nutritional value. I'd rather see a child getting tuna, fresh carrots, etc. the way the WIC program works, although I HATE that they give folks so much cereal and dairy. Not good. Methinks there was an awful lot of lobbying going on there. I also think supporting local would be great. What if the stores bought produce from local places? And I think Farmer Markets should be covered by food stamps - but I thought they were? I've seen little signs, so maybe that's only a state by state basis? Truth is it is pride that thinks something could never happen to US. Ladies, we are one tragic accident from it being us. If my husband dies, we have insurance. How many have that? What if he doesn't die? What if it's only permanent disability? Do you also carry longterm disability insurance? We do but I know MANY do not. Then what? What if his company just shuts down and walks away? I believe we have worked hard. We did the "right" things. DH put himself through school to get his Bachelor's degree. Later, he joined the military so they could pay off those loans. While he was in the Army, he went on to get three Masters degrees in various related fields. They paid for a decent chunk of that and we're paying for a decent part too. :glare: He got a "good" job by being a hard working intern and he's stuck with the company for almost 13 years now. It could happen to us. How dare we think it couldn't? Should a mama with little ones, single through no choice of her own, go back to work rather than stay home for a few years and raise those little ones? I'd be glad if my tax dollars were going for that. I don't want to subsidize health care that includes abortions. I don't want to subsidize food that is POISONING children - like soda. But, I can be against those things without saying it couldn't happen to me. "I'd never be in that position." "Not me." Those are dangerous words. :D