I didn't know most of the moms before starting. Another mom and I actually first started this, and she backed out. 3 years ago. Since then we've advertised and have been very explicit about what type of coop it is, what our expectations are, and that it's not for everyone, because of the nature of it. You do your best to get a feel for somebody, and really gauge their interest but you can only tell so much through emails. So yes this was really strictly for the kids. We pretty much just focused on them, decided to leave all holidays,religion, and politics out of co-op so as to keep out the drama as well. It worked for a while. And it was actually an awesome co-op for a while. Meeting in the woods, nature study, tree climbing, poetry, handiwork, books, show and tell. I actually really despise regular co-ops as I ha heard so many negative views about them. It's just not what I wanted for my dd. This was a great way to have a regular group to do our lessons with, in an unconventional manner, the moms and kids all loved it too...until recently with all the changes. Sorry for the typos, I'm on my phone.

I think the whole point of my posting has gone missing. This is not about the cancer lady. As many have said, I am only one person and have gone above and beyond what most people would do for a casual acquaintance. I really do feel for her as I've ha many close friends with cancer and it's terrible. That said, Im one person, and I'm supposed to not only spend hours planning, hours teaching, And trying to keep other kids safe... In the forest no less, AND be willing to do it more and cook for her? I don't mean to sound insensitive but she's not a personal friend of mine, and she's not my family, I have a sickly dd of my own that requires my attention. She's the whole reason I started this in the first place. That's what a co-op is. A cooperative effort. I expected SOME help at least, I think that's reasonable. But evidently I'm supposed to be superwoman and do this as a public service. Sorry I can't see anyone doing a co-op for free like this. I tried as long as possible for my dd, but I do have boundaries and realize when people are stepping on them. Also this was not my decision, it's tough being a leader and considering the circumstances of everyone else, it was a group decision. We actually tried for about 3 months before asking her to SERIOUSLY make it work. We worked out a system where one parent would take the younger ones a bit away from the group and then play etc. (my idea) the moms ultimately wanted to be with their own children. To answer other questions. I've tried over and over sending out reminder emails, asking nicely doesn't seem to get anywhere. They just want to show up. It's always an excuse or I forgot. Or I have something going on. But yet they still expect the same classes each and every time we meet. I even buy the supplies!

Ok, well then that makes me feel better:tongue_smilie: I guess, because I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way. I have a lot of compassion for her, an I really tried to help. It was just TOO MUCH. Thanks again for everyone's help and I will post what the responses are like. I have a feeling it won't go over very unfortunately :/

There was a handicraft supplies fee of $30 per child for the year. This was contingent on the fact that we would all take turns leading the handiwork. I simply can not do all this any longer. As I've stated previously, it wasn't a matter of kicking the lady out of the group. She was a part of our group even before she had cancer, we watched her kids for months before, and months after she found out she had cancer. She never participated in any way before... Nothing changed, except I couldn't physically prepare , and plan for hours, teach for hours for free, watch peoples kids in the woods for free. As I also said before, where's the co-op effect? We didn't ask her to leave because he had cancer.... When you can't do something, you can't do something. I've emailed the group and let them know I'd be willing to do circle time and nature study would be done informally unless a mom would like to take the lead in this. Otherwise, I'm dropping handiwork, and divvying stuff up. I feel like I have gone above and beyond what most would do in my situation am still I'm getting attacked! I've been so hesitant to post here for so long, because I've seen so many rude remarks that people would never say to someone irl. I honestly dOnt get it.

One more thing.... I would never keep this co-op open just for the lady with cancer just because she has cancer. My priority is to my dd her *burnout* I know is on a whole different level than mine I'm sure, but I have my own set of problems, and that doesn't make me obligated to continue doing something that is unhealthy for me, just because she has cancer. So I'm not sure why I'm being attacked here when I stated that I have done everything to make this succeed for the group as a whole. Unfortunately the rest of the moms in the coop ignored their part of the deal. I can't change that. I think if you were in my position, you would want to drop this like a hot potato as well!

Thanks Mimm, it WASa nice idea. And yes, I think I'll enjoy my new found freedom and time. It's too hard to be committed to something when other people are not. I agree cancers tragic... I do have to say though that we watched her kids for 6 months before she even had cancer.... Cause she still didn't want to participate then either. My heart goes out to her, but at the same time, I have to think of my own family's best interest first. That includes my own well being, and this was ultimately more output, and I wasn't receiving anything, nor my dd either, than it was worth. Period. That goes for the coop as a whole not the lady with cancer. Now if I could only find just a few COMMITED people wouldn't things be so different?! I've seen a lot of HS want/ expect things for free, and my dh says that if it's free, people will treat it like its free, unless we all have the same output invested whether its time or money. I'm willing to do say 65% of the workload but not 120% I don't feel like the benefits are outweighing what I'm giving up any longer.

If you would have read my messages you would have seen that i DID try. For 7 long months. One person can only do so much though. It also got to be dangerous. I personally don't feel comfortable running through the forest with 3 energetic kids who are not my own. Theres rattlers in our area, one of her girls fell in the pond, I just don't want to be responsible if something should happen. If all the other moms would have been willing to help out, we probably could have continued, but it's not reasonable to expect one person to lead a free class each week from start to finish, AND keep others safe. The whole point of a co-op is that everyone contributes in someway. This is supposed to be a CO-OP. not a ME-OP. I also could plead the pity party if I wanted, my daughter has chronic, severe mono for a year and a half, and Oma super specialized, time consuming diet. I also have a host of health problems that doesn't mean I expect others to do everything fOr me. If the mom w the dd in wheelchair was helping before her dd accident, well now, things would be different. She didn't do ANY of her jobs for 7 months :/

It's not that I don't want to help out, I've been solely handling the co-op for 7 months now, long enough to get burnt out doing it for sure. I tried, really tried to push past these issues for the sake of keeping it going, but it's now too exhausting for me. tIt's no longer a co-op though, and I also have things going on in my life. My daughter has chronic mono and is on a very time consuming diet so I have my hands full, believe me. I just don't want to do this anymore. I started this coop for the regular class time, but in a natural learning environment. It takes work to make it succeed and unfortunately people don't want to help. I would love to show up to a free class each week. But I would never do that :/. My time is too valuable to contribute time and energy hours ahead of class an then during class for ones who don't seem to appreciate it. Even when they COULD help... They didn't. Aaah, I'm sorry just venting here. I think next year I'll have park days!

Ok... So I already feel Sooo much better. I emailed the group and let them know that because of all the changes this year, in order to continue coop there needed to be some changes. I offered to continue planning for circle (which in itself is a lot of work) and them suggested that we do an informal nature study/ walk. I also said that if we wanted handiwork to continue, someone else would need to take it over, otherwise we could divvy up the supplies and do them at home. I didn't go in to a lot of details, I basically acknowledged te fact that we have all had a lot going on, and because of the changes this year, i was stretched thin and couldn't do it all myself anymore. What I'd like to do is quit, as I feel their will be some resentment with one of the moms there, and also guilty, even though we all made the commitment to have this cooperative arrangement! Thanks for all the feedback, it helped just putting it out there. I think next year I'll do this with dd alone and have a wild day... Or else just more play dates. Dd is also in dance, and gym but doesn't get a whole lot of interaction in there. She does go to our bible meetings where she has friends but they are in Ps.

Btw, sorry for the typos! I CAN spell just not on my iPad :D

This group is supposed to meet once a week, but more like twice a month because every week people cancel, usually without warning. I just don't feel like taking on a bigger group is the solution. We tried it bigger at first, and it was just too much, too many kids, we wanted it smaller and a chance for the kids to play more in a smaller group setting. As far as the lady with cancer and asking her to leave... We meet in the forest, we also take a nature walk, and the kids were EVERYWHERE. We let them run on ahead of us as long as we can hear them, but this lady's kids were younger and then she was bringing her toddler grandd and so one mom would be waAay behind everyone else. The whole purpose of this group was the nature study. With the younger kids there, it wasn't happening, they didn't have the attention span, they were all over the place, we had to watch the littlest like a hawk as she would wander off. The mom would stay at the gazebo while this was going on, the WHOLE co-op. All the while, my own dd would need me and I couldn't help her as I had other kids to deal with. I hated being in this position, by the other moms were very frustrated and it felt like we were never able to focus on anything long enough as her little ones were constantly interrupting and just didn't have the attention span. The other moms actually requested this. :/ Anyhow, that was a tough call, we tried it, it didn't work. None of these people I knew before they signed up for the group. As far as the dd in the wheelchair, I do understand, but at the same time I feel like if she would have been there before and participating, i wouldnt feel so taken advantage. BUT she flaked out the whole fall and winter and never contributed anything. My dd is also dealing with chronic Mono and I have her on the GAPS diet, so I have my hands very full myself, and to plan, and then have no one else put even a teeny bit of effort is discouraging. The rotations run 3 months at a time, (or were supposed to until no one was doing their job) with the schedule layed out ahead of time. So for the fall we did nature study, the mom could pick out any subject she wanted each week from HAnbook of nature study blog, something simple to direct the kids. For handiwork, also 3 month rotation, but with monthly blocks we agreed ahead of time. So for s The spring it's watercolor, acrylic, embroidery and then crochet (mom also free to pick any project of her choosing within theses blocks) Anyhow, I'm thinking I'm going to take a break, as it's stressing me out so much to the point where this week I cancelled, and have no desire to go. I dread it actually. I'm so stressed at the end. None of these moms are close to me so no we don't have a bond. I'm trying to provide this for my dd. she used to LOVE co-op but with all the changes, and me doing everything, she says it's not the same, and she misses the old way of doing things. I have all the supplies at my house, which I bring each week, so I could divvy them up. I just feel guilty about doing this and not following through if I've made a commitment especially if people have paid. I also am such an idealist, and really wanted this to work out long term. THINK charlotte mason meets Waldkintergarten in Germany??? It's such a nice concept, but soooo ha getting people to commit let alone put in just a little effort. Thanks for the help ladies!

Hi Ladies, I've finally come out of lurkdom to actually post something :P I really need helpfiguring out what to do. Here's the situation. I'm a leader of a VERY small Charlotte Mason inspired co-op, this is our 3rd year, and we meet year round, outdoors in different natural settings, because of this, I've tried to keep it small and tried to be very careful about who we accepted in the group, I hate drama, and wanted this to be a very laid back but yet committed group. We do circle time, poetry, nature show and tell, handiwork, and nature study along with some type of Movement. This is for 6-11 year old girls. So the first year we had a lot of people decide it wasn't for them, (only had 14 kids to begin with) I did practically everything, but had helpers. 2nd year, it was just 4 moms, 8 kids, and 3 moms rotated everything, on a month to month basis. I would always do two subjects though, so a lot more prep than the others, plus leading the group along each class, emailing the moms, etc. We had a GREAT year last year, even if it was such a small group and we all preferred it that way. Lots of people wanted to join, but we were very careful who we accepted. Not everyone feels like dragging themselves out in the rain and wind to do nature study! Ok so this year njust got off to a rocky start, one of the moms got pregnant, another has cancer, and another new mom who didn't want to do anything. Plus one more mom that has been with us for the three years, decided to be a flake this year. That left just.... Me! Long story short, the mom that was pregnant helped as much as she could and then left in Dec. the lady with cancer had 2 little ones, but could barely walk to her seat, let alone take care of her kids. We were responsible for her kids the whole 4 hrs, if they needed potty breaks, and taking them on walks, etc. she just couldn't help. (we finally told her last month it was too much and and she ended up leaving) The new mom was hit or miss, showed up 1ce or twice a month -more regular now. My other mom who up till this year has been a regular, never attended the planning meeting, didn't show up for the first two months, totally disregarded her rotation, it was always some excuse ( shes a preachers wife and says too much is going on with her, but she would flake out every week, and sometimes not bother to email ) When she did show up, she never had anything prepared for nature study so I always had a back up. I was also doing circle time, AND handiwork AND coming up with a PE AND nature study : / I was doing it ALL myself. So I'm burnt out and not sure what to do. I feel like quitting this year, but have made a commitment. Everyone pays up front $30 per child for the art supplies. Plus $50 for the state forest parking pass. One mom has 3 kids so that $90, plus parking and i know moneys tight for her. Because its been so hit and miss (everyone keeps canceling) we have a ton of supplies left. To top it off, the flaky moms daughter broke her pelvis and is in a wheelchair and is now bored and needs to get out of the house. So now she decides she wants to come again. Not only that, but now we can only meet at one location, where it's wheelchair accessible. She wants the whole group to meet 1 1/2 later but then we still leave in time. Can't really take a nature walk, as her dds in a wheelchair and we cAnt go far. Still doesn't contribute with ANYTHING. So I'm doing EVERYTHING each week. I have to pick out and prep the poetry, find a nature study, and right now we are doing water colors. So now finding a watercolor project. (this was supped to be this moms job. She literally has not done ONE single thing this year) Now the mom with the baby is telling me she wants to come back every other week, and can contribute only picture study. (I like her and she does as much as possible) These moms are supposed to check their emails the night before and respond by 8 that night, they don't. So I don't know if I should stay up planning or not. They oftentimes don't get back to me until midnight or the next morning. I'm burnt out, and feel really stressed about this situation. This is/was a great concept, these are things I would never do with just my dd alone. But even she doesn't enjoy it anymore, I think she's picking up on my stress, plus she says it's not the same. We don't do as much now that we have to meet later. See the mess I am in? So WWYD? Stay and finish out the year, or call it quits? I've tried over and ove r sending our reminders, etc. I don't want this to be a rule based co-op. I want it to be laid back, but I feel like I'm getting walked all over. It's not a co-op anymore, these people are getting free classes! ETA. My dd is an only child and desperately needs this, which is why I've done in so long in the first place!